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As you approach the monumental age of 30,
the awkward transitional period of your life becomes nothing more than a distant memory.
Until now, welcome to second puberty.
The stage of life when you actually become an adult.
You're going to begin to notice some changes.
Like hair where there wasn't here before.
In your nostril, on your back, and in your ears. Pretty much everywhere except your head,
the one place where it matters.
You'll see your body blossoming into womanhood.
Womanhood being the doughier, wrinklier version of girlhood.
Cellulite, stretch marks, smile lines. That's right, smile lines. You are being punished for joy.
The day-to-day stress of your adult life will lead you to seek out comfort foods.
Unfortunately, your new adult stomach can no longer handle delicious food,
so you can either deal with the overwhelming cravings or diarrhea.
So much diarrhea
That brings us to exercise. Not being fat is a ton of work now.
But with a strict regimen and a healthy diet,
you might be able to transform that very chubby body into a sort of chubby body.
And all it costs is your social life.
As a man, you might start to notice you don't craze sex the way you did when you were a teenager.
This is referred to as the ''dicks are assholes'' phenomenon.
You see, men reach their sexual peaks before women when their chances of getting laid are the lowest.
Then, their dicks slowly break over time.
Human sexuality is essentially one big, missed high five, but that's nothing compared to fertility
which dictates that a 15-year-old girl making a mistake on prom night has a better chance of getting pregnant
than a 40-year-old woman actively trying to conceive with their husband.
In fact, fertility starts to fall off year by year after 30.
So start thinking about that stuff now ladies.
But why bother worrying at all? You have no idea what you're doing,
and anyone who's ever giving you advice is a fallible human, who could be wrong about everything.
Better you just drink to forget.
Oh-ho! But hangovers are way worse now.
So, did I mention you can rent a car? uh... that's pretty cool.
Hey guys, it's Murph from college humor.
Click here to subscribe, here to watch more videos,
or just say "click" out loud and our automated system will subscribe for you
How does it work? computers!
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什麼!「第二次」青春期來了? (How To Prepare For Second Puberty)

87907 分類 收藏
Gisele Sung 發佈於 2017 年 9 月 5 日    Gisele Sung 翻譯    朱朱 審核

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在我們的生長過程中,從孩童到成人的轉換階段稱為青春期,你知道還有另一個身體巨變的時期嗎?college humor 戲稱它為 second puberty,讓我們一起來笑笑吧!

1
puberty0:15
puberty 是青春期,是當我們出現第一性徵及第二性徵,身體逐漸成熟的階段,大約10~17歲左右。有點相似的字是 adolescence 「青少年期」,意思涵蓋的比較廣,除了性成熟,也包含心理、社會的成熟和個體化。
另外, teenager 也是指「青少年期」,它的劃分方式很有意思,我們來看看,它的組成是 teen+ager , teen 就是指 thirteen to nineteen (往前或往後就不是teen了),加上 ager 是「…年齡的人」,合起來就是指13~19歲的年輕人啦!
During puberty, teenagers usually become more interested in sex.
青春期的青少年通常會開始對性產生興趣。



2
doughier0:37
dough 是名詞,指「麵團」, doughy 是形容詞,指像麵團般白白軟軟的,而 doughier doughy 這個形容詞的比較級,指女人進入 womanhood 女人時期以後,比在 girlhood 女孩時期肉更加肥軟。

此外,在1:16有出現 chubby 這個字。 chubby 很好用,指「嬰兒肥」或是「肉肉的」的。稱呼別人胖 fat 不太禮貌,就可以用 chubby 這個字,胖中帶點可愛的感覺哦!


3
day-to-day0:48
day-to-day 是「每日」或者「日常」的意思,例句:
My day-to-day work is preparing lunch for my children and picking them up after school.
我每日的工作就是為孩子準備午餐和接他們下課。


在時間單位後面加上 -ly 會變成形容詞或副詞,可以用來當作「每_」來使用哦!

daily news 每日新聞
weekly report 每週報告
monthly travel 每月旅行
yearly performance review 年度表現評估

Reading the newspaper before going to work is one of my daily routines.
在去上班前閱讀報紙是我的每日例行公事之一。


*同場加映:
在我死之前,我想...(Before I die I want to...)



4
missed high five1:43
high five 就是「擊掌」,當兩個人有一樣的想法,或者達成了某個目標,常常就會擊掌。影片原文 Human sexuality is essentially one big, missed high five,… 這句話要從上一句話及圖表來看:男人的性慾高峰是在青春期13歲,逐年下降,女人正好相反,從20、30幾歲性慾才開始攀升,當到達頂峰時,男人卻慢慢「不行」了,所以影片才說人們的性事是一個「擊不到的掌」,無法達到共識。

*同場加映:
小孩總統 VS 歐巴馬總統 (Kid President meets the President of the Uni States of America)


這部影片是不是很有趣呢?希望大家笑完,也有學到英文哦!

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