Yeah, during these 10 years life has been just like many ups and downs and today I'm going to talk about it all like after the surgery complications Just how I decided on going through with the surgery like was I nervous like peeing being intimate everything Yeah, it's just like my 10 years anniversary of getting avajayjay a coochie.

是的，在這10年裡，我的生活經歷了很多起起落落，今天我要談談這一切，比如手術後的併發症，比如我是如何決定接受手術的，比如我是否緊張，比如撒尿，比如親密的一切，是的，這就像我得到avajayjay a coochie的10週年紀念日。

Whatever you want to call it Anyways, 10 years ago.

總之，10 年前的事了。

I had my gender reassignment surgery bottom surgery sexual reassignment surgery Whatever you want to call it.

我做了變性手術 底部手術 變性手術 隨你怎麼說。

She has many names.

她有很多名字。

She has many names So today I'm just going to talk about every personal detail of my life on the internet Yes, that's what I'm gonna do But before we get into all of those juicy details This video is actually in sponsorship with catch beauty and if you haven't heard about catch beauty before like where have you been?

她有很多名字，所以今天我要在網上談談我生活中的每一個細節 是的，這就是我要做的，但在我們進入所有這些多汁的細節之前 這段視頻實際上是與 "Catch Beauty "合作贊助的 如果你以前沒聽說過 "Catch Beauty"，比如你去哪兒了？

I talk about them all the time.

我一直在談論它們。

I love them so freaking much What they mostly sell are IPL machines and if you're not in like entirely sure what the IPL machine is It's a little device to remove your unwanted body hair and facial hair and this has helped me so much in my transition I've used it for the last two years and it has helped me Feeling so much more comfortable in my own skin and it works and This is like an upgrade to the previous one So this is like stronger than ever before the previous one had only five levels and this one has like 10 Levels, so this one is definitely an upgrade and she hurts a little bit if you're like on the 10th level That's just like to be expected.

我愛死他們了，他們賣的主要是 IPL 機器，如果你不太清楚 IPL 機器是什麼，它是一個小設備，用來去除多餘的體毛和臉部毛髮，這對我的轉型幫助很大，我用了兩年，它讓我感覺自己的皮膚舒服多了，而且它很有效，這就像前一個的升級版，所以比以前更強了，前一個只有五級，這個有十級、所以這個絕對是升級版，如果你用到第 10 級，她會有點疼，這也是意料之中的。

It's just like a little pinch nothing to be Alarmed about and also you don't need to like use the 10th level You will see result even if you're on the fifth level.

這就像一個小夾子，沒什麼好擔心的，而且你也不需要像使用第 10 級那樣，即使是第 5 級也能看到效果。

It's just going to take a little bit more time Definitely.

只是肯定要多花點時間。

I definitely recommend it as I said, I've used it for like two years and I can see results Obviously, I started seeing results only after a few weeks So now I don't like I rarely use it anymore just because like it works If that makes sense You can use it in the comfort of your own home You can like take it with you and also something else I love about catch beauty as their incentive to help trans people on their Transition obviously can purchase their products.

我絕對推薦它，就像我說的那樣，我已經用了兩年了，我可以看到效果，很明顯，我是在幾周後才開始看到效果的，所以現在我不喜歡我很少再用它了，只是因為它很有效，如果這有道理的話，你可以在自己家裡舒適地使用它，你可以把它帶在身邊，我還喜歡 catch beauty 的其他東西，因為他們鼓勵幫助變性人過渡，很明顯，他們可以購買他們的產品。

Even if you're not trans.

即使你不是變性人。

I've said this multiple times already but just if you're trans This is a great website to just check out they have makeup and like, you know other things specific for trans women and also IPL machines and they are so freaking great But if you're interested in checking them out, which I think you should I have a discount code for you I always have a discount code for you Matilda is my discount code and click the link in my top comment or in my description box top comment description box Discount code Matilda and get yourself one of these or something else on their website But now without further ado, let's get into the rest of my gender reassignment surgery So going through with my gender reassignment surgery I've kind of talked about this before what it meant to me and how important it was Like for me to do prior to me transitioning I had no experience in like being intimate with anyone and my gender dysphoria was off the roof I like I couldn't even like do anything myself I had trouble showering so it wasn't really an option for me to not go through with the surgery It was like kind of a life or not life choice, so yeah, I didn't really have an option and So going through with the surgery was definitely nerve-wracking But something I had to go through with to be myself and to live in like normal life Honestly, I've talked about this before that me going through with the surgery was manageable I mean the pain level was manageable and it wasn't as I expected I expected me to just like wake up screaming in pain and like agony like, you know dramatic I was like I was literally expecting Hollywood dramatics when waking up and that didn't happen when I woke up they asked me what like my pain level were and I Don't really remember exactly what I said I think I've talked about this before in some previous video closer to that date because I can't remember anymore But it's just what I'm trying to say was manageable it was hard It was difficult really difficult and I had a few complications on the hospital I've talked about this like pretty like briefly before it's just like a few things went wrong.

我已經說過很多次了，但是如果你是變性人，這是一個很好的網站，你可以去看看，他們有化妝品和其他專門針對變性女性的東西，還有 IPL 儀器，他們非常棒，但是如果你有興趣去看看，我覺得你應該去看看，我有一個折扣代碼給你，我總是有一個折扣代碼給你，Matilda 是我的折扣代碼，點擊我的頂部評論中的鏈接，或者在我的描述框頂部評論描述框中的鏈接 折扣代碼 Matilda，然後你就可以在他們的網站上買到這些東西或其他東西、讓我們來了解一下我的變性手術 我之前已經說過變性手術對我的意義，以及它對我來說有多重要 在我變性

Nothing major just you know, it's a major surgery and you're there for a couple of You're there for like a week so Something is like bound to happen.

沒有什麼大問題，只是你知道，這是個大手術，你要在那裡待上幾個星期，所以有些事情是一定會發生的。

So it wasn't like anything major just yeah and I was on a lot of I was on a lot of drugs, uh and That made it more manageable Obviously like the worst things I experienced in the hospital was because of like them Um Like complications other than that.

所以並沒有什麼大礙，只是我吃了很多藥，這讓我的病情更容易控制了，很明顯，我在醫院經歷的最糟糕的事情就是因為這些併發症。

It was kind of easy-peasy.

這很簡單。

I was on a lot of like strong medication and Like removing the packing inside of me and starting dilating was also very tough And if you're not really sure what dilation is I have other videos talking about that so you can just like check them out now like 10 years after I only dilate once a week and You can Obviously do other Activities instead of that dilation at this point the first year you you need to dilate a few times a day But now I can if I yeah, like, you know, just like change it up a little bit Yeah, and it's been crazy these 10 years being myself Not really Thinking about that part of my body anymore before I Was so disgusted by myself, but now I Remember when I got home from the hospital seeing myself like naked for the first time and even though I was like bruised up and It's just it felt like I could truly start living my life As Like as it was intended I've never looked back since I've never had a pinch of regret and that is one of the most common questions I get as well is like do you have any regret and I don't Like I do understand why people especially like cisgender people ask that question But also I can't really understand it like It's not like if you meet a person and they ever had like eye surgery You're not like the first question you ask is not like do you regret having your eye surgery?

我吃了很多強效藥 取出體內的包塊開始擴張也很艱難 如果你不太清楚擴張是什麼 我有其他視頻在講這個 你可以去看看 10年後的今天 我每週只擴張一次 你可以做其他活動來代替擴張 第一年你需要每天擴張幾次這10年我過得很瘋狂 我不再去想我身體的那部分 以前我對自己很反感但現在，我還記得從醫院回家後 第一次看到自己裸體的樣子 儘管我遍體鱗傷 但我覺得我可以真正開始我的生活了 就像我想要的那樣這也是我最常被問到的問題之一，比如你後悔嗎？ 我不後悔，我理解人們為什麼會問這個問題，尤其是順性別的人，但我也不太理解，就像

Like was it painful like I don't really understand that Sentiment of like asking people such personal questions about their transition and how how they identify.

我不太理解這種感覺，就像問人們關於他們的轉變和身份認同的私人問題一樣。

I Will never really Understand that but I think it's due to all media outlets.

我從未真正理解這一點，但我認為這是所有媒體管道造成的。

It's not really showing the truth of Like transgender people like we don't regret it.

這並沒有真正展現變性人的真實面貌，就像我們並不後悔一樣。

It's really rare.

這真的很罕見。

But anyways, this video is not about that.

但不管怎麼說，這段視頻與此無關。

It's about Me being my true self.

這是關於我做真實的自己。

So yeah, just like me getting a coochie designer taco was honestly The best thing I've ever done and It has like Over the years there has been a few complications I've had a true revisions and I don't keep that a secret.

所以是的，就像我得到一個coochie設計師玉米卷，老實說，這是我做過的最好的事情，它就像多年來有一些併發症，我有一個真正的修訂，我不保守這個祕密。

I talk about that I haven't I've had two revisions the first revision I had a year after the surgery and that is pretty common or especially like ten years ago.

我說過我沒有，我做過兩次修改，第一次修改是在手術後一年，這很常見，尤其是在十年前。

I don't know How would it like how everything works now?

我不知道現在的工作方式會怎樣？

But ten years ago was it was pretty common to have it like a revision since it is major surgery It's very difficult to deter like predetermine.

但在十年前，由於這是一個大手術，所以進行翻修是很常見的。

Oh, how do you put it?

哦，怎麼說呢？

Like it's very difficult for the doctor to know exactly how the end results will look like So they give you like free revision or is that like it?

醫生很難準確知道最終效果如何，所以他們會給你免費修改，還是這樣？

That's how it worked here in Sweden ten years ago.

十年前，瑞典就是這樣做的。

So the first revision I got I got one year After having the surgery and then I had another revision maybe a year ago Due to me having trouble like urinating So yeah And that is also something a lot of people ask me about like how did it felt peeing for the first time and honestly it Felt really really weird.

我第一次做手術是在手術後一年，然後我又做了一次手術，大概是在一年前，因為我有排尿困難的問題，所以是的，這也是很多人問我的問題，比如第一次尿尿的感覺如何，說實話，感覺真的很奇怪。

It felt very Different Now obviously me peeing feels normal But I remember like peeing for the first time after the surgery and it felt really different It felt like the pee just like I released and then it was just like out of me like didn't take Sometime like yeah Anyways, it felt different.

但我記得手術後第一次尿尿的感覺真的很不一樣，感覺尿液就像我釋放出來一樣，然後就從我身體裡流出來了，好像沒花多少時間，總之，感覺很不一樣。

That's what I'm trying to say.

這就是我想說的。

But what this video is about It's more a celebration to celebrate my VJ day to celebrate me becoming my true self and celebrating my Transition it's not So much about like me like answering questions, it's just I wanted to make this video because this Milestone is very important.

但這段視頻的意義更在於慶祝我的 VJ 日，慶祝我成為真正的自己，慶祝我的轉型，而不是像我這樣回答問題，只是我想製作這段視頻，因為這個里程碑非常重要。

And when I transitioned when I transitioned back in like, what was it like?

當我轉型的時候，是什麼感覺？

2013 like there weren't many people With YouTube channels about this.

2013 年，好像沒有多少人通過 YouTube 頻道來討論這個問題。

It was like tik-tok didn't exist and Instagram was not about Trans people it was more about like showing off like your tumblr lifestyle, so I didn't really have someone to Look up to I didn't really have anyone that had gone through with the surgery and been happy and that's That's why I make this video.

就像 tik-tok 並不存在，Instagram 也不是關於 Trans 的，它更多的是關於炫耀，就像你的 tumblr 生活方式，所以我真的沒有人可以讓我仰望，我真的沒有人經歷過手術並感到快樂，這就是我製作這個視頻的原因。

I'm creating this video as like nod like I Don't want to say that I'm like an inspiration but what I what I'm trying to say is like I'm trying to show you that life is Can be great like life can Happen for trans people as well Like we're not forced to live in the prison of our old bodies for the rest of our lives Like it can be better and for me it did like everything me having that surgery was such a life-changing decision and I would never Take it away, even if I ended up having to have like one revision every year I would still go through with it in order to be myself.

我製作這個視頻，是想向你們點頭致意，我不想說我是個勵志人物，但我想說的是，我想告訴你們，生活可以很美好，變性人的生活也可以很美好，我們不會被迫一輩子生活在舊身體的牢籠裡，生活可以變得更好，對我來說，一切都很美好，我做了那個手術，那是改變我一生的決定，我永遠不會放棄、即使最後我不得不每年做一次整形手術，為了做回我自己，我也會堅持下去。

That's just like the truth I would never go back.

這就像事實一樣，我再也不會回去了。

I could never go back.

我再也回不去了。

It's not possible.

這是不可能的。

It changed the course of my life forever and It made me so much more comfortable in my own skin and it doesn't matter what anyone says I know that it looks normal I know like every woman out there looks different down there and for me, it's not different I am different.

它永遠地改變了我的生活軌跡，讓我對自己的皮膚感到更加舒適，不管別人怎麼說，我都知道這看起來很正常，我知道每個女人的下面看起來都不一樣，而對我來說，這不是不一樣，我就是不一樣。

We're all different.

我們都與眾不同。

We're all unique and It looks normal.

我們都是獨一無二的，這看起來很正常。

It looks like a real The JJ because because it is like it is the JJ being comfortable Going into a locker room.

它看起來就像一個真正的 JJ，因為它就像 JJ 自在地走進更衣室。

I mean, I'm I'm never going to be comfortable in the locker room.

我的意思是，我在更衣室裡永遠不會舒服。

I hate locker rooms I hate I hate showering in front of other people what I'm trying to say is like that was Impossible, even though it's uncomfortable still like I can go through with it and no one is like looking Weirdly at me and no one is they don't know I can like go through life as a cis Passing transgender person and just like be myself I don't have to think about that part of my body as I said, and the first time I was in Intimate with someone it that was such a normal experience for me, you know Undressing for the first time in front of another person.

我討厭更衣室 我討厭我討厭在別人面前洗澡 我想說的是，那是不可能的 儘管很不舒服，但我還是可以去做 而且沒人會奇怪地看著我我第一次和別人親密接觸 對我來說是很正常的經歷 第一次在別人面前脫衣服

It's kind of a human To feel that naked and not naked in the sense of being naked But just like showing yourself to someone else that is such like a human experience and I never thought that I would have that But I did it was not horrible.

我從未想過自己會有這樣的經歷，但我做到了，這並不可怕。

It wasn't like Painful or anything like that Obviously, you know, the first time is not like the prettiest one.

顯然，第一次並不是最漂亮的。

Like it's not like cute.

就像它並不可愛。

I mean she's not doing cutie but it's just what I'm trying to say is like Having the surgery made me feel like I could have normal human experiences And I was not the odd one out.

我的意思是，她並不可愛，但我想說的是，做完手術後，我覺得我可以擁有正常人的經歷，我並不是異類。

I was not different even though we're all different I didn't feel and I don't feel very different in my everyday life.

雖然我們都與眾不同，但我並不覺得有什麼不同，而且在日常生活中我也不覺得有什麼不同。

And that surgery was a big part of that just helping me go through life and having normal human experiences and not having to think about What I like who I was born as or whatever like it I can just be me if that makes sense Anyways, I think those all thank you so much for watching and don't forget to check out catch beauty They definitely work and use my discount code Matilda and click the link top comment description box But yeah, thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in the next one.

總之，我覺得這些都非常感謝你們的收看，別忘了去看看《捕捉美麗》，它們絕對有效，使用我的折扣碼 Matilda，點擊頂部評論描述框中的鏈接，不過，非常感謝你們的收看，我們下期再見。

Bye guys

再見