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  • Wow, it looks like you're going to have a great night.

    哇,看來你今晚會過得很愉快。

  • Yeah, just having a few friends over for some drinks.

    是啊,只是請幾個朋友過來喝幾杯。

  • Thank you for the invite by the way.

    順便謝謝你的邀請。

  • It's so funny you say that because I was just about to invite you.

    你這麼說真有意思,我正想邀請你呢。

  • What about your girlfriend, do you think she will approve?

    那你的女朋友呢,你覺得她會同意嗎?

  • You're right, she probably wouldn't approve mainly because she doesn't exist.

    你說得對,她可能不會同意,主要是因為她並不存在。

  • Do you know any beautiful cashiers in the area who might be interested?

    你知道本地區有哪些漂亮的收銀員可能感興趣嗎?

  • I actually do, and this one gets off at midnight.

    實際上,我是這樣做的,而且這一次是在午夜下班。

  • But she doesn't have your number?

    但她沒有你的電話號碼?

  • I think you should tell this beautiful cashier to call me when she's off.

    我覺得你應該告訴這位漂亮的收銀員,讓她下班後給我打電話。

  • Is there anything else I can help you with?

    還有什麼需要我幫忙的嗎?

  • Yeah, why don't you give me a box of those guys?

    是啊,你為什麼不給我一盒呢?

  • What size would you like?

    您想要多大的尺寸?

  • I'm sorry?

    你說什麼?

  • The condoms, what size do you want?

    保險套,你想要多大的?

  • Oh, just give me the big ones.

    哦,給我大的就行。

  • So do you want the Magnum EXO?

    那麼,你想要 Magnum EXO 嗎?

  • You know, I actually tore right through those.

    你知道嗎,我真的撕破了那些東西。

  • The way they're manufactured, I'm just not a big fan.

    我不太喜歡它們的製造方式。

  • And if none of them are going to fit me anyways, I'd rather just have the regulars.

    如果它們都不適合我,我寧可選擇常規款式。

  • Because I want something that's a little bit comfortable with my body type.

    因為我想要的是與我的體型相適應的。

  • Lubrication wise.

    潤滑方面。

  • So we just go with the regular then?

    那我們就用普通的嗎?

  • Yeah, I'll take the regular ones.

    是的,我要普通的。

  • If I want to pass out from loss of blood circulation, I'm like Johnson.

    如果我想因血液循環不暢而暈倒,我就會像約翰遜一樣。

  • You're so funny.

    你真有趣

  • Thanks.

    謝謝。

  • Are you really sure that you even know what size do you want?

    你真的知道自己想要多大的尺寸嗎?

  • I'm going to need something that's going to fit the tusk of a fully grown Sri Lankan elephant.

    我需要一個能裝得下一頭成年斯里蘭卡大象象牙的東西。

  • Wait, an elephant you said?

    等等,你說大象?

  • You know, I don't want to sound forward or anything.

    你知道,我不想聽起來很前衛或什麼的。

  • But maybe if you told me how really big it is, I can actually help you.

    但如果你告訴我它到底有多大,我也許真的能幫到你。

  • Do you kind of know like six?

    你知道六種嗎?

  • Six inches from the ground maybe?

    距離地面六英寸?

  • While I'm on top of the Empire State Building.

    當我在帝國大廈的樓頂時。

  • Okay, so what size is it?

    好吧,它有多大尺寸?

  • Are you familiar with like television remotes?

    您熟悉電視遙控器嗎?

  • Like an Apple television remote?

    比如蘋果電視遙控器?

  • Like two, three Apple television remotes.

    比如兩個、三個蘋果電視遙控器。

  • If you were to like rubber band them, stack them on top of each other.

    如果你想用橡皮筋把它們綁起來,那就把它們疊在一起。

  • Really?

    真的嗎?

  • It's just a solid piece.

    這只是一件堅實的作品。

  • Piece of what?

    一塊什麼?

  • It's like one of these guys.

    就像這些人中的一個。

  • About a five dollar foot long?

    大約五美元一英尺長?

  • You guys don't carry XXXLs?

    你們不賣 XXXL 碼的?

  • They didn't have any at the horse stable that I usually get them at?

    我常去的馬廄裡沒有嗎?

  • No.

  • You know, honestly, the more that I'm thinking about it, condoms don't even work in general with how big this guy is.

    老實說,我越想越覺得,這傢伙這麼大,保險套根本沒用。

  • So do you have any like garbage bags you can toss your boys with?

    你有垃圾袋嗎?

  • I doubt it.

    我對此表示懷疑。

  • Big enough, that's what I always say.

    足夠大,我總是這麼說。

  • That's what I said back in college.

    我在大學時也是這麼說的。

  • Big enough for what?

    大到什麼程度?

  • Just an insane amount of pleasure, sweetheart.

    只是一種瘋狂的快感,親愛的

  • You know what I'm thinking about him?

    你知道我在想他什麼嗎?

  • I think you need an extra small.

    我想你需要一個超小號的。

  • Yeah, maybe if I was a friggin' baby in my mom's womb.

    是啊,如果我還是個在媽媽肚子裡的該死的嬰兒,也許會是這樣。

  • Goo goo ga ga type of beat.

    Goo goo ga ga 類型的節拍。

  • Okay, you know what?

    好吧,你知道嗎?

  • I'm sorry about all this.

    我對這一切感到抱歉。

  • Can we just scratch literally all this?

    我們能不能從字面上來理解這一切?

  • Here's what I want to do.

    我想這麼做

  • Um, just give me the Magnum XLs.

    嗯,給我Magnum XL就好了。

  • That's my final decision.

    這就是我的最終決定。

  • I'm sorry about...

    對不起...

  • Magnum XLs it is.

    那就 Magnum XLs 吧。

  • Yeah, just Magnum XLs.

    是的,只有馬格南 XL。

  • Yeah, these should fit hopefully halfway down, so.

    是的,這些應該能裝下一半。

  • I'll talk to you soon.

    我會盡快跟你聯繫的。

  • Yeah, I'll call you when I'm off.

    好的,我下班後給你打電話。

  • Yeah, you're doing a great job.

    是的,你做得很好。

  • Keep upselling these XL condoms because numbers are at an all-time low.

    繼續倒賣這些 XL 安全套,因為數量正處於歷史最低點。

  • So keep making sure these guys are very insecure.

    所以,要繼續確保這些人非常不安全。

  • Well, there's no way that he was bigger than a small.

    他不可能比小個子還大。

  • I mean, come on, he's finite.

    我的意思是,拜託,他是有限的。

  • Come on!

    來吧

Wow, it looks like you're going to have a great night.

哇,看來你今晚會過得很愉快。

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