Yeah, just having a few friends over for some drinks.

是啊，只是請幾個朋友過來喝幾杯。

Thank you for the invite by the way.

順便謝謝你的邀請。

It's so funny you say that because I was just about to invite you.

你這麼說真有意思，我正想邀請你呢。

What about your girlfriend, do you think she will approve?

那你的女朋友呢，你覺得她會同意嗎？

You're right, she probably wouldn't approve mainly because she doesn't exist.

你說得對，她可能不會同意，主要是因為她並不存在。

Do you know any beautiful cashiers in the area who might be interested?

你知道本地區有哪些漂亮的收銀員可能感興趣嗎？

I actually do, and this one gets off at midnight.

實際上，我是這樣做的，而且這一次是在午夜下班。

But she doesn't have your number?

但她沒有你的電話號碼？

I think you should tell this beautiful cashier to call me when she's off.

我覺得你應該告訴這位漂亮的收銀員，讓她下班後給我打電話。

Is there anything else I can help you with?

還有什麼需要我幫忙的嗎？

Yeah, why don't you give me a box of those guys?

是啊，你為什麼不給我一盒呢？

What size would you like?

您想要多大的尺寸？

I'm sorry?

你說什麼？

The condoms, what size do you want?

保險套，你想要多大的？

Oh, just give me the big ones.

哦，給我大的就行。

So do you want the Magnum EXO?

那麼，你想要 Magnum EXO 嗎？

You know, I actually tore right through those.

你知道嗎，我真的撕破了那些東西。

The way they're manufactured, I'm just not a big fan.

我不太喜歡它們的製造方式。

And if none of them are going to fit me anyways, I'd rather just have the regulars.

如果它們都不適合我，我寧可選擇常規款式。

Because I want something that's a little bit comfortable with my body type.

因為我想要的是與我的體型相適應的。

Lubrication wise.

潤滑方面。

So we just go with the regular then?

那我們就用普通的嗎？

Yeah, I'll take the regular ones.

是的，我要普通的。

If I want to pass out from loss of blood circulation, I'm like Johnson.

如果我想因血液循環不暢而暈倒，我就會像約翰遜一樣。

You're so funny.

你真有趣

Thanks.

謝謝。

Are you really sure that you even know what size do you want?

你真的知道自己想要多大的尺寸嗎？

I'm going to need something that's going to fit the tusk of a fully grown Sri Lankan elephant.

我需要一個能裝得下一頭成年斯里蘭卡大象象牙的東西。

Wait, an elephant you said?

等等，你說大象？

You know, I don't want to sound forward or anything.

你知道，我不想聽起來很前衛或什麼的。

But maybe if you told me how really big it is, I can actually help you.

但如果你告訴我它到底有多大，我也許真的能幫到你。

Do you kind of know like six?

你知道六種嗎？

Six inches from the ground maybe?

距離地面六英寸？

While I'm on top of the Empire State Building.

當我在帝國大廈的樓頂時。

Okay, so what size is it?

好吧，它有多大尺寸？

Are you familiar with like television remotes?

您熟悉電視遙控器嗎？

Like an Apple television remote?

比如蘋果電視遙控器？

Like two, three Apple television remotes.

比如兩個、三個蘋果電視遙控器。

If you were to like rubber band them, stack them on top of each other.

如果你想用橡皮筋把它們綁起來，那就把它們疊在一起。

Really?

真的嗎？

It's just a solid piece.

這只是一件堅實的作品。

Piece of what?

一塊什麼？

It's like one of these guys.

就像這些人中的一個。

About a five dollar foot long?

大約五美元一英尺長？

You guys don't carry XXXLs?

你們不賣 XXXL 碼的？

They didn't have any at the horse stable that I usually get them at?

我常去的馬廄裡沒有嗎？

No.

不

You know, honestly, the more that I'm thinking about it, condoms don't even work in general with how big this guy is.

老實說，我越想越覺得，這傢伙這麼大，保險套根本沒用。

So do you have any like garbage bags you can toss your boys with?

你有垃圾袋嗎？

I doubt it.

我對此表示懷疑。

Big enough, that's what I always say.

足夠大，我總是這麼說。

That's what I said back in college.

我在大學時也是這麼說的。

Big enough for what?

大到什麼程度？

Just an insane amount of pleasure, sweetheart.

只是一種瘋狂的快感，親愛的

You know what I'm thinking about him?

你知道我在想他什麼嗎？

I think you need an extra small.

我想你需要一個超小號的。

Yeah, maybe if I was a friggin' baby in my mom's womb.

是啊，如果我還是個在媽媽肚子裡的該死的嬰兒，也許會是這樣。

Goo goo ga ga type of beat.

Goo goo ga ga 類型的節拍。

Okay, you know what?

好吧，你知道嗎？

I'm sorry about all this.

我對這一切感到抱歉。

Can we just scratch literally all this?

我們能不能從字面上來理解這一切？

Here's what I want to do.

我想這麼做

Um, just give me the Magnum XLs.

嗯，給我Magnum XL就好了。

That's my final decision.

這就是我的最終決定。

I'm sorry about...

對不起...

Magnum XLs it is.

那就 Magnum XLs 吧。

Yeah, just Magnum XLs.

是的，只有馬格南 XL。

Yeah, these should fit hopefully halfway down, so.

是的，這些應該能裝下一半。

I'll talk to you soon.

我會盡快跟你聯繫的。

Yeah, I'll call you when I'm off.

好的，我下班後給你打電話。

Yeah, you're doing a great job.

是的，你做得很好。

Keep upselling these XL condoms because numbers are at an all-time low.

繼續倒賣這些 XL 安全套，因為數量正處於歷史最低點。

So keep making sure these guys are very insecure.

所以，要繼續確保這些人非常不安全。

Well, there's no way that he was bigger than a small.

他不可能比小個子還大。

I mean, come on, he's finite.

我的意思是，拜託，他是有限的。

Come on!

來吧