"Yeah? Yeah, Yellowfang? You wanna share with the class?" Says Bluestar.

Meanwhile, on the way back from the mountains

the Three screech at each other about superpowers as though it's a concept that comes naturally to them as cats.

They also get into baby fights with Breezepaw half of the way home.

Oh, and remember the cliffhanger last time?

The book doesn't, so don't worry about it.

You already bought Eclipse anyways.

Hollypaw, just for a moment, sees murder in Lionpaw's eyes.

Every apprentice brings back a dead thing!

"Wow, excellent rabbit, Breezepaw," says multiple people.

But Crowfeather compliments Lionpaw, seemingly just to be polite.

This ends Breezepaw's entire life.

Really glad Crowfeather's not my dad, thinks every character in succession.

By the time they get back, it's already too late for Lionpaw.

"Being god-king of the universe," thinks Lionpaw,

"I will never have an apprentice like Icepaw."

"How sad."

"Being god-king of the universe, my own grandfather might fear me."

"How sad."

"Being god-king of the universe, I can not enjoy honey."

"Hoooww saaaad."

He goes to the Dark Forest and realizes that even the ghosts are peasants that are beneath him.

But before he can throw Hawkfrost into the Atlantic Ocean,

Tigerstar chants "you suck!" until he snaps out of it.

Leafpool tells Jaypaw about Shadowclan literally poisoning dying cats.

Jaypaw is disappointed that he can't kill people with death-berries too.

Jaypaw finally peers into Leafpool's mind and finds a memory of Cinderpelt regretting she can't enter the big race.

"Cinderpaw too can enter the big race," insists Leafpool afterward.

Mousewhisker - KNOWN Riverclan-cat-flirter - says some suspicious things about wanting to go catch a fish.

Suddenly, Thornclaw's patrol pops out to announce that Windclan has been stealing their rhubarb again.

The Three sneak out to watch Clonepaw's race so they know the track for themselves later.

Cinderpaw spontaneously explodes, just as expected.

So Honeybaby and Poppybaby advance without her.

This is fine and all, but everybody's much more worried about that rhubarb thing.

And now a scene, from Warrior Cats Eclipse.

[Cinderpaw] "My life is meaningless if I can't become a Warrior."

[Leafpool] "H-how... Why are we in this dark room?"

They visit Windclan, only to find out that they're all going to college now,

and living off of canned soup and ramen noodles.

They get accused of trying to steal their groceries anyway and turned back.

Lionpaw - future god-king of the universe, in case you forgot - is really upset that he has to clean his room,

as opposed to threaten the half-starved Windclan.

Tigerstar visits him again, trying out his new name:

Firestar.

Hawkfrost scratches him while he's momentarily distracted, causing him to completely doubt the whole prophecy thing, as if there was never any evidence for it.

Even going so far as to say it's just a dream Firestar had,

even though the way he knew Firestar had that dream in the first place was Jaypaw literally SPYING on it.

Meanwhile, Jaypaw himself is taking to just shouting out what other cats are thinking instead of actually having conversations.

To cure Cinderpaw's leg, Jaypaw invents aquatic therapy.

He tries to have his own dream at the Moonpool,

but instead sees Blackstar's depression diagnosis.

"I don't care about this," says Jaypaw.

Hollypaw sees a huge fluffy cat and assumes he's a lion.

"Rude."

She accompanies Cinderpaw to her swim class, who thoroughly updates her on who's dating who.

She seemingly believes that having superpowers will prevent her from gossiping in the future,

just as Lionpaw believes it will prevent him from eating honey.

Millie has three kits.

Jaypaw describes this experience as the most amazing thing ever.

Thornclaw's tenth daily patrol comes back with Sol, the Lion.

"So this is Thunderclan," says Sol.

"How do you know that?" replies Firestar.

"Oh, I read Warrior Cats."

He rants to Leafpool and Jaypaw about how their religion sucks

and Starclan is just dead people with no higher knowledge,

and he's 100% correct.

Windclan materializes in Thunderclan camp in the dead of the night.

They chase them out, only to learn that they've gone to college to develop teleportation technology.

Lionpaw and Firestar smash the teleporter exits.

"TELEPORTER DOOOWN," says Harespring, hitting Lionpaw with his wrench.

Windclan is somehow outnumbering Thunderclan with their seventeen total half-starved warriors and apprentices,

so Hollypaw is sent to beg Blackstar for help.

And then, for some reason, Riverclan joins in the attack too?

All four clans are in an absolutely silly fight over nothing in the span of a few minutes.

Lionpaw nearly kills both Heatherpaw and Crowfeather in succession,

because he literally CAN'T tell he's flinging cats through the air and tearing off their fur.

Soon after, there's a solar eclipse, which every single cat takes to mean they've made their dead great grandmother upset, and they go home.

Luckily for Jaypaw, multiple cats will come out of this experience with vision problems.

Squirrelflight nearly dies because nobody can see the blood on her pelt.

Jaypaw and Hollypaw heal her by cuddling.

The Three track down Sol by his lavender-scented perfume, and find him in a human house.

"Hey Sol, how do you know about the sun?!" Shouts Jaypaw.

"Oh, I already read this book," responds Sol.

"Do you know about the prophecy?" asks Jaypaw.

[Sol] "Are you implying I read Eclipse and not the other books?"

[Jaypaw] "Oh, yeah, I guess that would be stupid..."

They try to take Sol back to Thunderclan with them,

but he goes to Shadowclan instead.

[Sol] "Hey, they don't have any perspective chapters in this arc, after all."

He gets to Shadowclan's camp, and immediately convinces Blackstar that Starclan is stupid,

and the cats really didn't need to do anything they've ever done.

He is 100% correct.

The Starclan friends come down from heaven to yell at Jaypaw for talking to Sol, but in the creepiest possible way.

Then Lionpaw gets visited by Tigerstar, who attacks him. Again.

Great guy, really...

At the Gathering, Shadowclan announces that they don't believe in following Starclan anymore.

"Oh, they're still there," says Blackstar, "they're just... full of mouse-dung.

He is 100% correct.

Lionpaw dreams about Heathertail being dead.

"Haha, good." says Dream-Lionpaw.

"Wait, no, that's bad!" says Awake-Lionpaw.

Firestar calls a gathering to announce that Blackstar is a big silly,

and as a side-note, makes Cinderpaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw into warriors.

"Wait... That's the end of the book?" thinks Jaypaw.