You didn't see that coming?

你沒想到吧？

Basically, everything that makes a movie bad is in this film from cringey dialogue to horrible CGI to a plot that goes nowhere yet everywhere at the same time.

這部電影基本上囊括了所有能讓電影變得糟糕的元素，從令人討厭的臺詞到可怕的 CG I，再到毫無進展卻又無處不在的情節。

Yeah, in short, this movie was a total mess.

是的，我覺得這部電影完全是一團糟，編劇似乎選擇把我們討厭的電影中的所有陳詞濫調都放到了《韋伯夫人》中，以至於他們把 "權力越大，責任越大 "這句名言改成了 "當你擔負起重大責任時，權力也會隨之而來"。

Whether writers seemingly chose to put every cringe generic cliche that we hate in movies into Madam Web to the point where they took the famous line of with great power comes great responsibility and chose to flip it and say "when you take on great responsibility, great power will come."

What? Bro, what are you talking about, man?

兄弟，你在說什麼？

So yeah, that's what we're dealing with here.

所以，這就是我們要處理的問題。

And I mean, what did we expect when it came from the same writers of Morbius?

更糟糕的是，"韋伯夫人 "的扮演者達科塔-約翰遜在拍完這部電影后不久就辭退了自己的經紀人。

And to make matters worse, the Madam Web actress herself, Dakota Johnson chose to fire her agent shortly after making this movie.

So that tells us pretty much every everything we need to know about this movie.

所以，這幾乎告訴了我們關於這部電影所需要知道的一切。

And if that's not enough, she also recently said in an interview that modern Hollywood blockbusters just aren't good anymore.

如果這還不夠，她最近還在一次採訪中表示，現代好萊塢大片已經不再好看了。

And she says that while out promoting Madam Web, so clearly fans aren't alone in their hate for this film.

而她是在宣傳《韋伯夫人》時說這番話的，所以顯然不只是影迷們討厭這部電影。

So, OK, this is where I should give a rundown of the story, but the plot is so all over the place that it is literally impossible to actually summarize this film.

所以，好吧，我應該在這裡介紹一下故事情節，但劇情實在是太複雜了，根本無法概括這部電影。

So basically, all you need to know is that the movie's about this guy who's trying to kill these three because he had a dream that they killed him.

所以基本上，你只需要知道，這部電影講述的是一個人想要殺死這三個人，因為他做了一個夢，夢見他們殺了他。

And Dakota Johnson AKA Madam Web is trying to stop him from killing those three because get this, she also had a dream but in this one, he was killing them.

達科塔-約翰遜（Dakota Johnson）和韋伯夫人（Madam Webb）試圖阻止他殺死那三個人，因為她也做了一個夢，但在這個夢裡，他正在殺死他們。

Are you serious right now, bro?

你現在是認真的嗎，兄弟？

But wait, you ask, "Who actually is that guy?"

但等等，你會問那個人究竟是誰？

And I'm here to tell you that that actually never gets answered in this movie.

而我要告訴你的是，這個問題在這部電影里根本沒有答案。

He's just a bad guy that got spider powers because he stole a spider from Peru and killed Dakota Johnson's mom in the process.

他只是一個壞人，因為從祕魯偷了一隻蜘蛛而獲得了蜘蛛的力量，並在這個過程中殺死了達科塔-約翰遜的媽媽。

I'm extremely confused.

我非常困惑。

Well, now you know how everyone in the cinema felt watching this movie.

現在，你知道電影院裡每個人看這部電影的感受了吧。

And when I say everyone in the cinema, I'm talking about just me and my brother as we were the only two people in the entire theater.

我說的 "電影院裡的所有人 "指的是我和我哥哥，因為整個影院只有我們兩個人。

But before we continue on with the rest of the video, I do wanna shout out the sponsor of today's video which is Surfshark VPN.

在我們繼續觀看視頻的其他部分之前，我想先向今天視頻的贊助商 "衝浪鯊 "VPN 表示感謝。

Surfshark VPN is a virtual private network that helps keep your online identity safe by encrypting all the information sent from your device to the internet.

Surf Shark VPN 是一個虛擬專用網絡，通過加密從您的設備發送到互聯網的所有資訊，確保您的在線身份安全。

This keeps your personal information protected from big companies or cyber criminals.

這樣，您的個人信息就不會受到大公司或網絡罪犯的侵害。

Also a VPN helps change the location of your device from one country to another.

此外，VPN 還能幫助您將設備的位置從一個國家改為另一個國家。

Meaning that you can virtually travel to any country around the globe, which is my favorite part of using Surfshark VPN.

這意味著您幾乎可以去全球任何國家旅行，這是我最喜歡使用衝浪鯊 VPN 的地方。

And if you're a fan of this channel, I'm sure it's going to be your favorite part too.

如果你是這個頻道的粉絲，我相信這也會是你最喜歡的部分，因為有時你無法在 Netflix 或其他流媒體平臺上觀看某部電影或電視節目，但有時可以在不同的國家觀看。

Because sometimes you can't get access to a certain movie or TV show on Netflix or any other streaming platform, but sometimes it can be available in a different country.

So all you have to do is go on to Surfshark VPN, change the location of your device, and all of a sudden you gain access to that specific show or film.

所以，你要做的就是繼續衝浪鯊魚 VPN，更改設備的位置。突然之間，你就能觀看特定的節目或電影了。

And another great perk of you Surfshark is you can encrypt your online data so nothing can get leaked when you're using public Wi-Fi.

衝浪鯊的另一大優點是可以加密在線數據，是以在使用公共 Wi Fi 時不會洩露任何資訊。

So I highly recommend you guys click the link down below and use coupon code JESSEGRANT to get an extra three months for free.

是以，我強烈建議你們點擊下面的鏈接，使用優惠券代碼 Jesse grant 獲得額外三個月的免費衝浪鯊。

Surfshark also offer a 30 day money back guarantee.

同時提供 30 天退款保證。

So there's really no risk in just trying it out.

所以，試一試真的沒什麼風險。

So like I said, go hit the link down below in my description and I guarantee you won't regret it.

所以，就像我說的，點擊我描述中的鏈接，我保證你不會後悔。

But without further ado, let's get back to the video.

話不多說，讓我們回到視頻上來。

So yeah, the plot was absolutely ridiculous and there was a whole lot of other shit thrown on top of an already shit story to make it even more, well, shit.

所以，是的，情節絕對荒謬，而且在已經很爛的故事上還加了一大堆其他的狗屎，讓它變得更爛。

So now let's get to the performances.

現在，讓我們開始表演吧。

This cast was nowhere near short of talent from Dakota Johnson to Emma Roberts to Sydney Sweeney, Adam Scott and even Ziah Mamo.

從達科塔-約翰遜到艾瑪-羅伯茨，再到雪梨-斯威尼、亞當-斯科特，甚至齊亞-馬莫，演員陣容可謂人才濟濟。

Yet, not one of these actors looked like they actually wanted to be in this movie.

然而，這些演員中沒有一個看起來真的想出演這部電影。

It was like they were all just contractually obligated to make a Sony film or they all have terrible spending habits and will work on any movie to afford a new Dior bag.

就好像他們都有合同在身，必須拍一部索尼的電影，或者他們都有糟糕的消費習慣，為了買得起一個新的迪奧包，什麼電影都願意拍。

But in all honesty, I feel so bad for these actors because it was so obvious that none of them wanted to be there.

但說實話，我為這些演員感到難過，因為很明顯，他們都不願意出現在那裡。

And like I said, they've all proven to be talented in the past.

就像我說的，他們在過去都證明了自己的才華。

So it just makes it all the more obvious that they didn't want to be in this film, given how phoned in their performances really were.

是以，鑑於他們的表演實在是太乏味了，他們不想出演這部電影的想法就更加明顯了。

And you can easily tell that there was limited to no rehearsal for this movie as the chemistry was completely lacking.

你可以很容易地看出，這部電影的排練時間很有限，甚至沒有排練，因為完全缺乏化學反應。

There was no real vibe that any of the actors were curating together.

所有演員都沒有共同策劃的真正氛圍。

It seemed like they didn't even know what they were meant to be working towards.

他們似乎根本不知道自己的努力目標是什麼。

And it also seemed like none of them really knew who their characters were.

而且，他們似乎都不知道自己的角色是誰，這一切都源於寫作，它從未真正賦予任何一個角色任何一種明確的特徵。

And that all stems down to the writing, which never really gave any sort of defining characteristic to any single one of these characters.

And I feel so bad for talented actors to have to try and portray a character that has zero character arc, zero character traits and zero backstory.

我為那些有才華的演員感到難過，他們不得不嘗試塑造一個沒有人物弧線、沒有性格特徵、沒有背景故事的角色。

As I'm not even lying when I tell you that there wasn't a single character in this movie that actually had a character arc or had any point to this story.

當我告訴你這部電影中沒有一個角色真正有人物弧線或對這個故事有任何意義時，我甚至沒有說謊。

But then we get to the next problem, which is probably the biggest issue that I take with this movie, which is the fact that it was allowed to be released in the first place.

但接下來的問題，也是我對這部電影最大的意見，就是它一開始就被允許上映的事實，因為我們談論的是一家制作了間諜題材多樣化電影的製片廠，而且還幫助製作了《無路可逃》。

Because we're talking about a studio that made the spy diverse movies and also helped make no way home.

So clearly, they know how to make a good film and clearly they know how to make a good film about Spider-Man characters.

顯然，他們知道如何製作一部好電影，也知道如何製作一部關於蜘蛛俠角色的好電影。

Yet somehow they thought this movie was releasable and that's where eyebrows have to be raised.

但不知何故，他們卻認為這部電影可以上映，這就不得不讓人瞠目結舌了。

Because the only reason I can logically find for Sony to release this film is for tax reasons.

因為從邏輯上講，我能找到的索尼發行這部電影的唯一理由就是稅收原因，因為我並沒有指責他們什麼。

As I'm not accusing them of anything, but I am just saying I would believe them if they said that they had an extra 80 million lying around that they had to get rid of to fit their budget for the year.

但我只是說，如果他們說他們有額外的 8000 萬閒置資金，但為了滿足今年的預算，他們不得不將其處理掉，我會相信他們。

And so they just called up the Morbius writers and told them they had 24 hours to write whatever they want and they'll just give them $20 million and then try and cast about 25 a list actors to divide the next 60.

於是他們打電話給《莫比烏斯》的編劇，告訴他們有24小時來寫他們想寫的東西，他們會給他們2000萬美元，然後試著找25個演員來分擔接下來的60個劇本。

And hopefully this movie will make some money.

希望這部電影能賺點錢。

But I'm sure they also don't even care if this movie does make a profit because at the end of the day, it's still a work expense and they can just write it off their tax bill.

但我相信，他們也根本不在乎這部電影是否盈利，因為說到底，這還是工作開支，他們可以把它從稅單上一筆勾銷。

But either way, the fact that a terrible movie like this has been released and is taking people's money is just so disrespectful.

但無論如何，這樣一部糟糕的電影上映並拿走了人們的錢，實在是太不尊重人了。

Given the fact that there's such a big Marvel fan base out there.

鑑於漫威的粉絲群體如此龐大。

There are so many people that are really into this Spider Verse ever since they brought out the Spider Verse cartoons and also brought Andrew Garfield and Toby Maguire back with Tom Holland in Spiderman movies showing that they're trying to flesh out this Spider World showing that they're trying to develop a really cool Marvel Universe over at Sony and that's caused so many people to get on board.

自從索尼推出《蜘蛛俠》卡通片，讓安德魯-加菲爾德（Andrew Garfield）和託比-馬奎爾（Toby Maguire）迴歸，讓湯姆-霍蘭德（Tom Holland）出演《蜘蛛俠》電影之後，有很多人都非常喜歡《蜘蛛俠》，這表明他們正在努力豐富這個蜘蛛世界，表明索尼正在努力開發一個非常酷的漫威宇宙，這讓很多人都加入進來。

So clearly, there's a huge fan base for this kind of thing.

很顯然，這種東西有龐大的粉絲群體。

So to release such a terrible movie that they for sure knew wasn't up to scratch, they definitely knew wasn't worthy of people paying over $20 to watch yet they still released it anyway, it just comes across as so disrespectful to me and really disrespects the fan base that you make these movies for.

是以，發行這樣一部糟糕的電影，他們肯定知道不合格，肯定知道不值得人們花 20 多美元去看，但他們還是發行了，這對我來說簡直是太不尊重了，也太不尊重你為之製作這些電影的影迷群體了。

Because if you're going to charge money for people to come and watch your film at least try and make a decent product.

因為如果你要收錢讓人們來看你的電影，至少也要嘗試製作一部像樣的產品。

Because even if you fail in the process, we can at least understand that you tried your best and you put your best foot forward.

因為即使你在這個過程中失敗了，我們至少可以理解，你已經盡了最大的努力，也付出了最大的努力。

But it is so clear with this movie that that's not what they did and they didn't put their best foot forward in any way, shape or form.

但這部電影很清楚地表明，他們並沒有這樣做，他們沒有以任何方式、任何形式盡全力。

And the final problem with this movie is that the teasing some sort of a female spiderwoman x-men rip off where madam Webb ends up in a wheelchair and is going to be the leader of these three young spider women who are going to go out in the world stopping crime and being a great superhero team, which means there could be more Madam Webb movies in the future or at least they're looking to take these characters with zero character arc, zero character traits and use them in the spider verse moving forward, which is only going to damage the Great Spider verse.

這部電影的最後一個問題是，它預告了某種女蜘蛛俠 x 戰警的翻版，韋伯夫人最後坐上了輪椅，並將成為這三個年輕蜘蛛女俠的領導者，她們將在世界上阻止犯罪，成為一支偉大的超級英雄團隊，這意味著未來可能會有更多的韋伯夫人電影，或者至少他們正在尋求將這些沒有人物弧線、沒有性格特徵的角色用於蜘蛛俠電影中，這隻會損害偉大的蜘蛛俠電影。

They've already built and I know what some people may say there needs to be some women in the spider verse, but you already have Gwen Stacy in the Spiderverse cartoons.

我知道有些人可能會說蜘蛛俠裡需要一些女性，但《蜘蛛宇宙》卡通片裡已經有了格溫-史黛西（Gwen Stacy）。

And so there's an unlimited amount of female spider women that you can have from that cartoon or even bring into a Tom Holland Spiderman movie potentially.

是以，你可以從這部卡通片中找到無限多的女蜘蛛俠，甚至有可能將她們帶入湯姆-霍蘭德的蜘蛛俠電影中。

But don't take any of these characters moving forward, please because they, they are all downright terrible.

但是，請不要讓這些角色中的任何一個繼續前進，因為他們，他們都是徹頭徹尾的可怕人物。

But that pretty much wraps up my review of Madam Webb.

以上就是我對《韋伯夫人》的評價。

It was an absolute disaster.

這絕對是一場災難。

And all I can say to you is that I really hope you don't go out and watch this movie because it will be a waste of money and it will be two hours that you'll never get back in your life and would be much better spent somewhere else.

我只能對你說，我真的希望你不要去看這部電影，因為這將是浪費錢，而且這兩個小時你一輩子都回不來了，還不如花在別的地方。

But what are your thoughts on Madam Webb?

不過，您對韋伯女士有什麼看法？

Let me know down below in the comments.

請在下面的評論中告訴我。

If you like the video, please hit the like button, hit the subscribe button and I'll see you all on my next video.

如果你喜歡這段視頻，請點擊 "喜歡 "按鈕，點擊 "訂閱 "按鈕，我們下期視頻再見。