IS A BIKE. LOVE, CANE.

>> HO HO HO, WHAT A GOOD BOY. LET'S GET HIM THAT BIKE, AND A

HELMET. >> GOOD THINKING, SANTA.

>> HERE'S ONE FROM EMILY. "DEAR SANTA, THIS YEAR I WANT

A DISNEY PRINCESS MIRROR." >> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE'LL

GET, HUH? WHO'S NEXT?

RUPERT? >> UM.

>> RUPERT, WHAT IS IT? >> IT'S JUST MINE'S A LITTLE

WEIRD. >> I'M SURE IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD.

JUST READ IT. >> UM, OKAY.

WELL, IT STARTS NORMAL ENOUGH. DEAR SANTA --

♪ DEAR SANTA, I CAN'T BELIEVE THE YEAR IS ALMOST OVER ♪

♪ IT'S GETTING COLDER I'M A YEAR OLDER

BUT I'M STILL YOUR SOLDIER ♪ ♪ YOU'RE MY HERO

CAUSE YOU ALWAYS BRING ME THE ASSIST ♪

♪ SO ONCE AGAIN WE'RE BACK TO ZERO

HERE WE GO MY CHRISTMAS LIST ♪

♪ I WON'T BE GREEDY OR NEEDY

OR ASK YOU FOR TOO MUCH ♪

♪ JUST WANT ONE THING AND HOPE YOU STILL GOT THAT

MAGIC TOUCH ♪ ♪ CAUSE GETTING THIS

PRESENT IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE ♪

♪ DEAR SANTA CLAUS PLEASE BRING ME A PS5 ♪

♪ I TRIED TO BUY ONE AT A WAL-MART RAN AROUND

THE SHOPPING MALL LIKE PAUL BLART ♪

♪ TRIED TO FINE ONE FOR SALE

BUT THE THING IS THAT THEY'RE ALL OUT ♪

♪ YO I EVEN WENT TO A GAME STOP AND

THEN I WAS LIKE OH WAIT STOP SANTA CLAUS

CAN MAKE ONE ♪ ♪ THE MAN GOT HIS

OWN WORKSHOP ♪ ♪ I KNOW YOU PROBABLY

HEAR THIS EVERY DAY BUT YOU GOT A COOL HAT ♪

♪ I LOVE THAT MOVIE YOU DID WITH WILL FERRELL

MAN ELF WAS PHAT ♪ ♪ ANYWAYS I LOVE

THE THINGS YOU DO DON'T FORGET ♪

♪ BRING MY GIFT TRULY YOURS

I BELIEVE IN YOU THIS IS STU ♪ ♪♪♪

♪ DEAR SANTA I NOTICE YOU NEVER

WROTE ME A LETTER BACK ♪ ♪ THAT'S FINE DOG

EXCEPT NOT REALLY I THINK THAT'S KIND OF WHACK ♪

♪ IF YOU CAN'T HELP YOUR BIGGEST

FAN THEN YOU SHOULD JUST RETIRE ♪

♪ OR NEXT TIME YOU SLIDE DOWN MY CHIMNEY

I'LL SET YOUR ASS ON FIRE ♪

♪ JUST PLAYING I STILL LOVE YOU

MY GIRL THINKS THAT I'M OBSESSED ♪

♪ I EVEN GOT A TATTOO OF YOUR NAME

ACROSS MY CHEST ♪ ♪ JUST BRING THAT PS5 BRO

IF IT'S THE ONLY THING YOU DO SINCERELY YOURS, STU ♪

♪ PS WE SHOULD LIVE TOGETHER TOO ♪

♪ STU IS WAITING FOR HIS SURPRISE

TO OPEN UP A PS5 ♪ ♪ HE JUST REALLY WANTS

TO PLAY ASSASIN'S CREED ON CHRISTMAS DAY ♪

♪ BUT HE CAN'T BUY IT TO OPEN UP A PS5 ♪

♪ HE JUST REALLY WANTS TO PLAY ASSASIN'S CREED

ON CHRISTMAS DAY ♪ ♪ BUT HE CAN'T BUY IT

HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOST HIS JOB BECAUSE HE WAS STEALING

FROM HIS BOSS ♪ ♪ I'D BE WORRIED

HE'S A SCARY GUY, A SCARY GUY ♪ >> SPECIAL DELIVERY.

♪♪♪ ♪ DEAR MISTER HOLLY JOLLY

TWO-FACED SON OF A BITCH ♪ ♪ I HOPE YOU CRASH YOUR SLEIGH

AND WIND UP FACEDOWN IN A DITCH ♪

♪ I GUESS EVEN THE GREAT SAINT NICK

CAN'T TRACK DOWN A PS5 ♪ ♪ HEY SANTA I DRANK

A FIFTH OF EGGNOG DARE ME TO DRIVE ♪

♪ YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS I WISH I NEVER TOLD YOU

WHAT WAS ON MY WISHLIST ♪ ♪ SCREW YOU, YOUR ELVES

YOUR STUPID BEARD AND YOUR BITCH TITS ♪

♪ SO THIS'LL BE MY LAST LETTER

I KNOW YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE ♪

♪ SINCERELY YOURS STU

♪ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SIR ELTON JOHN ♪

♪ THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS WILL BE BAD

CAUSE SANTA CLAUS WILL BE ♪ ♪ HE ALREADY ASKED YOU

VERY NICELY AND NOW HE'S REALLY

PISSED OFF ♪ ♪ I'M JUST TELLING YOU

'CAUSE I LIKE YOU A LOT I'M A BIG FAN OF SANTA CLAUS ♪

♪ AND I ALSO WANT A PS5

A PS5 ♪

>> SANTA, THIS IS SERIOUS. >> DON'T PANIC.

DON'T PANIC. >> I'M FREAKING OUT!

[ SCREAMING ] >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

I THINK IT'S TIME I WRITE A LETTER BACK TO STU.

♪ DEAR STU, I THINK YOU GOT THE WRONG ADDRESS

BRO ♪ ♪ I'M NOT SANTA CLAUS ♪

BYE-BYE. ♪♪♪

THAT'S CRAZY. A PS5?

I DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR THIS. I GUESS SHADY MUST HAVE BEEN A

GOOD BOY THIS YEAR. SORRY, STU.

YOU [ BLEEP ] UP.