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Do you suffer from a lack of attention?
Do you need reassurance
of just how good-looking you really are?
Do you have insecurities,
but you don't want anyone to know?
Then we recommend...
...to take a selfie.
Take a selfie!
Take a selfie.
And post it online.
Selfies are a way of exuding confidence.
A way of showing how much you love yourself.
Taking a proper selfie can automatically
boost a person's self esteem.
Up to 98%!
Here's how...
First make sure you're wearing
a really cute outfit.
And that your hair's on point.
Showing cleavage has been proven
to dramatically increase the amount of
attention your photo gets.
Then...
raise your camera device to a
flattering angle.
Make sure you can see your
arm in the shot, that's important.
The face is super important.
A popular choice is the duck face.
Very flattering.
There's also...
The sparrow face...
The frog face...
Fish lips...
Horse face...
The list is endless.
I love taking selfies.
I take them every single day.
Ever since I started taking selfies,
my life has completely turned around.
A selfie can make you feel good
no matter what.
I take 'em all the time.
Usually in the bathroom, ya know, shirtless.
Let 'em know I'm making that progress.
It just makes me feel
so much better about myself.
(V.O.) Another popular choice is
the mirror selfie.
Don't forget to show the camera device.
Selfies with pets are sure to get you
loads of attention.
Same goes for babies.
Remember...
You're the photographer,
and the subject,
so you can keep taking selfies
until you capture that one angle
that most agrees with you.
I've been getting really good feedback.
'Specially from the ladies.
Gotta have a great background
to let people know your life is interesting.
Good lighting is crucial when it comes to
getting a lot of likes and comments.
Gotta have great lighting.
Especially if you're attractively challenged.
I just got two new likes.
How could I not post that?
In fact, this lighting's really good.
Can I just....?
It's like a service.
I think self love
is something that we should be promoting.
So don't wait.
Try taking a selfie and
posting it online.
You've got nothing to lose...
...only many things to gain.
Get the attention you've always dreamed of.
Taking a selfie may not be right for everyone.
Side effects may include
extreme narcissism,
delusion,
utter humiliation,
loss of friends,
complete loss of confidence,
chronic depression,
and may factor into
making a complete jackass of yourself
and even getting stalked by strange people.
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自拍 展示出你有多愛自己 (Take A Selfie - Commercial (Parody))

36584 分類 收藏
amanda 發佈於 2014 年 12 月 13 日    鄭小鬼 翻譯    Ted 審核
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