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  • [elegant music plays]

  • [drum roll]

  • -Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus!

  • My name is Caine!

  • I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you

  • the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia

  • you've ever laid your eyes upon!

  • Isn't that right, Bubble? -That's right, Caine!

  • I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today.

  • -Well, let's not waste any time.

  • Let's get right into the show.

  • -? Gangle and Zooble and Kinger, too ?

  • ? Ragatha, Jax, and there's Kaufmo, woohoo ?

  • ? Day after day after -- day after -- day after day we fly?

  • ? Past the moon and the sun and we don't know why ?

  • -W-W-Whe-- Wh-- Where am I?

  • [wails]

  • Ah!

  • [flower pot banging rapidly ]

  • [all groaning, grunting] [music slows, stops]

  • -Caine, is this one of your NPCs, or is this a new sucker?

  • 'Cause if it's a new character,

  • we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song.

  • [Zooble]: I'm not doing that again. -My, my!

  • It appears a new human has entered this realm!

  • -How do I... take this...

  • headset off?!

  • -Just keep grabbing at it.

  • That worked for all of us.

  • -[groans, gasps]

  • W-What's going on?

  • I-I-I put on some weird headset,

  • and now I'm...

  • here.

  • Who are you people?

  • Why can't I take it off? Where am I?

  • -Let's just try to calm down.

  • Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff.

  • We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to--

  • -What the [boing!] is going on?!

  • Wha-- -Now, now, now, my dear.

  • We can't have any of that foul language around here.

  • The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages.

  • You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders

  • where anything can happen!

  • E-Except for swearing.

  • -[honk!] [squeak!] [boing!] [bonk!]

  • [awooga!] [boink!] [shloompf!] [pop!] [splat!] [boi-oi-oing!]

  • [boink!]

  • Oh, my God.

  • U-Uh, well, h-how do I...

  • you know, leave?

  • -Uh--

  • -W-Well, don't freak out about it or anything,

  • but, uh, we don't exactly...

  • -You can't. -What?

  • [Zooble]: Shut up, Jax.

  • But, yeah, he's right.

  • Welcome to your new home.

  • And your new body.

  • -"N-N-New home"?

  • What do you mean?

  • -Guys, don't be mean.

  • -We've been stuck here for years.

  • Old Kinger over there's supposedly been here the longest.

  • [Kinger]: Huh? Did someone say something about an insect collection?

  • -That's why he's crazy.

  • [chuckles] Eh.

  • -[panting]

  • Ohhhh, okay! Now I get it!

  • This is a dream,

  • and I should just play along until I wake up, right?

  • -Whatever you say, kid.

  • -They broke my comedy mask...

  • -So, Caine... -[whimpers]

  • -...We having a new adventure today for the newbie, or what?

  • -I'd like to give our brand new member

  • a tour of the circus grounds first.

  • -Uh-- -Off we go!

  • Here, we have...

  • This is where your living quarters are,

  • as well as all sorts of other activities!

  • These activities may include...

  • [dial-up tone blares]

  • ...Ball pits, mini golf, and more!

  • And here, we have...

  • Drown yourself in the digital lake

  • or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!

  • Night, day, it's all okay!

  • The choice is yours! A cosmic buffet!

  • -Uh, is...that all there is?

  • -Of course not.

  • This is THE VOID!

  • We don't venture out into the void.

  • [spooky voice] Not even I know what's out there.

  • -That's, uh-- -We stay right here, where I can keep my...

  • [dramatic voice] ...hundreds of all-seeing eyes on you.

  • -[soft voice] Hello, Caine. I love you.

  • -Eaugh! Let's get outta here before the moon gets frisky.

  • -Wait, what's that--

  • Blegh!

  • -Whoa, clean up on aisle you!

  • -I'm on it, boss!

  • [slurping]

  • -Why are you like this?

  • -[groans] Wait, wait!

  • W-Was that an exit door I saw out there?

  • Is that a way to leave? -What exit?

  • If there was a way to leave, I'm pretty sure we'd have all left by now.

  • [gagging] [Zooble]: Yeah, what are you talking about?

  • -U-Uh, I -- [clears throat]

  • I assure you, there is no "magical exit door."

  • You're probably just experiencing...

  • From your mind's transition to the digital plane.

  • -But, I-I swear, I saw -- -[frantic] Digital hallucinations!

  • How about we talk about something else?

  • Like your name! -My name?

  • My name is, uh...

  • U-U-Uh?! Oh, God!

  • Why can't I remember my name?!

  • -Nobody can remember their name once they enter the Digital Circus.

  • One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds.

  • So, all I can help you with is coming up with a new one.

  • -[groaning] What's my name?

  • -Don't you worry your little head.

  • Your new name can be anything!

  • Hereby acknowledging that your chosen name and or names may not breach the Digital Circus user license agreement

  • stating that your name may not include objectionable content.

  • Objectionable content includes but is not limited to sexually explicit materials,

  • obscene, defamatory, libelous, slanderous, violent, and/or unlawful content or profanity.

  • What are ya thinkin'? -Huh?

  • I don't care. Just pick anything.

  • -Let's see!

  • [wheel dinging]

  • What do you think of... [stammers phonetic sounds]

  • -I don't-- -You're right, terrible. Let's try that again.

  • What do you think of "Pomni"?

  • -Huh? Uh, s-sure.

  • I think I just- -Gadzooks, you're right, Jax!

  • We should have a brand new adventure for our new member, Pomni!

  • -I said that like five minutes ago.

  • -You! Do you like adventure?

  • Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony?

  • Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?

  • -[chomp!]

  • -You parasite!

  • -Uh, I don't really...

  • -Since you're new around here, we're gonna make it a simple in-house adventure

  • to warm you up to how things work around here.

  • [Zooble]: Wha-- No! God!

  • I don't want an in-house adventure.

  • -Don't worry, Zooble.

  • I'll make it something unobtrusive that you can still choose to not get involved with.

  • Today's adventure is...

  • [cackling maniacally]

  • That's right!

  • The entire circus tent will be infested with gloinks,

  • and you gotta catch 'em all.

  • -But what are they? -I'm glad you asked, Bubble.

  • They're small -- -And what do they do?

  • -They -- -And how do they --

  • -Gloinks are small mischievous critters

  • that steal anything and everything they run into.

  • Why do these humanoid hash browns do this?

  • How do you stop them?

  • That's for you to find out.

  • Now, good luck.

  • And have fun, my little superstars!

  • -What did any of that mean?

  • -Oh, that's just one of Caine's little adventures.

  • They're just something fun to do to, you know...

  • prevent us from going insane. [chuckles nervously]

  • [Zooble]: [sighs] Speak for yourself.

  • If anyone needs me, then [sproing!] off.

  • Oh, God! Oh, jeez! No!

  • [gloinks boinging, squeaking]

  • Oh, God! Agh!

  • Somebody help!

  • -[bored] Oh, no, they killed Zooble.

  • Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?

  • -Oh, wait -- we should go check on Kaufmo.

  • I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

  • [Kinger]: My impenetrable fortress!

  • -You wanna come with us to check on Kaufmo?

  • [Kinger]: No, not really.

  • I think Kaufmo's gone insane.

  • Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit.

  • Kind of like you, Pomni.

  • You might be going insane, too.

  • -But, wait -- wouldn't that more likely mean the exit does exist?

  • -Could also mean you just have a jump-start on losing your mind.

  • -[quietly] Wait, what about Zooble?

  • -Well, I think I'd like to ask him about it --

  • U-Uh, if this was real.

  • Which it isn't, because it's a dream.

  • -Heh, she still thinks this is a dream.

  • -U-Uh, why are you looking at me like that?

  • -I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.

  • Ow! Okay, I've already had enough of these things.

  • [sighs] You, me, and Pomni will go check on Kaufmo,

  • which leaves Crybaby and Hoo-ha together

  • to go handle the Zooble situation.

  • -[laughs nervously] Do you think pairing them up together is a good idea?

  • -Of course I do.

  • They're the two most mentally stable and capable characters to be paired together.

  • Come on, ladies -- let's go harass the clown.

  • -My comedy mask is broken again.

  • [Kinger]: Gah! Oh!

  • Gangle, you startled me.

  • -So, this is where we all live --

  • or, well, where we all sleep at night.

  • Even though we don't really need to sleep,

  • it's sometimes nice to kind of take a break from everything

  • and have a bit of a routine, you know?

  • I'm sure there'll be one for...

  • Oh, look -- you already got one.

  • -I still don't understand about the adventures.

  • Why even go on them at all?

  • W-W-Why not try to find a way to leave?

  • -Well, we usually do -- when we first arrive.

  • But after a while, you start to realize that you really can't leave

  • and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy.

  • And eventually, you get to asking what the point of anything is,

  • and you completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive.

  • And when you reach your breaking point, something really terrible can happen.

  • Ah, but that's not something we need to deal with today.

  • Above anything else, the adventures give us something to do

  • that keeps our minds healthy and stimulated. [doorbell rings]

  • -Thank goodness this is all a dream, right, Pomni?

  • [unsettling musical sting]

  • -[gasps] Why are we here again?

  • What are we doing? -We're getting one of our friends.

  • [doorbell rings]

  • Huh. Maybe he's not in his room?

  • I hope he's all right. -Don't worry, dollface.

  • I've got a key to his room.

  • -Wha-- Wait, wh-- why?

  • You -- You -- You shouldn't have keys to anyone's room.

  • -Nah, I've got keys everywhere, and you've all been fine.

  • By the way, I may have left something in your room today,

  • so let me know if you find it.

  • Uh, you're not afraid of centipedes, are you?

  • -Jax! That's literally my only fear! Why would you do this?!

  • -What? It could be a completely unrelated question.

  • You'll never know until it's too late.

  • [dramatic music plays]

  • [static crackling] [Pomni whimpers]

  • -Oh, I've been looking for this.

  • Thanks for keeping an eye on it, Kaufy.

  • I'm gonna head out. See ya.

  • -[nervously] Oh! Kaufmo's been abstracted!

  • That -- That's okay.

  • -What... is that? -[Kaufo growls]

  • -Uh, it might be that terrible thing I was talking about earlier

  • when you reach your breaking point.

  • -H-huh? -O-Okay, wait.

  • M-Maybe there's still time to fix him if we get Caine.

  • -[gasps] -Oh, whoa!

  • Kaufmo, listen -- I know we didn't always get along,

  • like when you called me out for fake-laughing at your jokes.

  • I swear, I really did think they were funny. I was just having a bit of a bad day!s

  • [shouting, groaning]

  • [glitched groaning]

  • [glitched, stuttered audio] H-H-Hey, Pomni-i-i?

  • Do you think... you could...

  • perhaps help me out here?

  • I understand... if you don't... want to, though.

  • -Ow!

  • [Whimpers] I'm sorry!

  • [panting]

  • [Kaufmo roars] -[yelps]

  • -[shouting, panting]

  • [dramatic music plays]

  • [curious music plays] [Kaufmo growls]

  • [groans, exclaims softly]

  • [Zooble screaming]

  • [Kinger]: I don't know what I'm looking at here.

  • -We saw a gloink carry one of Zooble's pieces down there, remember?

  • [Kinger]: Oh, yeah. Thank you for the recap.

  • Boy, we're not very good at this, are we?

  • -[panting]

  • [groans] Ugh, sup...

  • [groans] ...fellas?

  • [Kinger]: Jax!! We found the Zooble hole.

  • -Cool. [groans]

  • -How is Kaufmo doing?

  • I hope he's not still mad at me for not laughing at his jokes.

  • -Oh, he's doing great.

  • In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before.

  • [Kinger]: Well, it's good to know he hasn't completely lost his mind.

  • [Kaufmo growls]

  • -He actually asked me to give you this.

  • [Kinger]: Whoa!

  • -[wails, screams]

  • [bell dings]

  • [Kinger and Gangle shouting]

  • -Heh! [pin clatters]

  • [bell chimes] [brief applause]

  • [grunts]

  • [boink!]

  • [ominous music plays]

  • [Kinger]: [gasps] An insect collection?

  • -I think it's a nest.

  • [Kinger]: [shrieks] -Hello?

  • R-R-Ragatha?

  • That was your name, right?

  • -[voice glitching, stuttering continuously] O-O-Over here.

  • [groans]

  • -H-Hey, look, I-I'm...

  • I didn't mean to leave you behind like that.

  • I -- [sighs ] Just... look at my hand.

  • I -- [whimpers] I didn't know what to do.

  • -[glitching continues] I-I-It's okay-y.

  • What you need to do right now is find Caine.

  • He'll be able to fix me up and take care of Kaufmo-o-o-o.

  • -O-O-Okay, but where can I find him?

  • -Uh, I don't really know.

  • Just look around and call for him, I suppose.

  • -Uh, okay, I'll get him.

  • You just stay right there.

  • Not that you can really move or anything.

  • Uh, just hang in there. I'll be right back, I promise.

  • -Cool. Also, Pomni?

  • I'm sorry your first day here...

  • had to be so... terrible?

  • -Uhhh, yeah, well, don't worry about it.

  • I'm just gonna go get Caine now.

  • Hello? Caine?

  • We have a bit of an issue here!

  • [curious music]

  • [boing!] Ugh!

  • [stammers] [children laughing]

  • -[rising scream] -[yelps]

  • [boing!] Agh!

  • [glass shattering] Hmm?

  • Caine?

  • [suspenseful music plays] [Kaufmo growling]

  • [distorted whooshing, ringing]

  • [laughs nervously]

  • [screams] [panting]

  • -[growls] What form of non-gloinkinian mass...

  • dares presume presence in the nest of the Gloink Queen?

  • -Oh, is that who you are?

  • You know, you could have asked for my consent

  • before forcing me to see something so completely and utterly disgusting.

  • -[grumbles] How despicable.

  • A rabbitoid that runs its mouth

  • in the presence of my royal figure.

  • [Kinger]: Well, as a royal myself, I would like to kindly ask if --

  • Oh, look, there's Zooble. Hi, Zooble.

  • [Zooble]: Agh! Help me, you idiots!

  • -Kinda rude, Zooble. Now I don't wanna help you.

  • -[groans] Oh, I always lose.

  • [Kinger]: Yes!

  • [gloinks squeaking, boinking]

  • Gotcha!

  • [befuddled] Oh.

  • [Zooble]: Hey! Kinger, you motherf--

  • -[growls]

  • -Eee! -Eh, they'll be fine.

  • [Gloink squeaking rapidly]

  • -[panting] [Kaufmo growling]

  • -Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide.

  • [gasps]

  • [pensive music plays]

  • [Kaufmo growls]

  • [sneaky music plays]

  • [monkeys hooting, shrieking]

  • God, where is Caine?

  • [rising tense music plays]

  • [Kaufmo growls]

  • -[exclaims softly]

  • [music stops]

  • [eerie music plays]

  • Huh?

  • [panting frantically]

  • [groans] [panting]

  • [Gloink boinking softly]

  • -You foolish assortment of colorful characters!

  • Do you not realize that everything must be gloinks?

  • I am gloinks.

  • You will be gloinks.

  • God will be gloinks-uh!

  • -This is dumb and weird.

  • -Well, b-- Uh-- Y-Yet, you're still watching it!

  • -I'm not here for the adventure or anything. I'm just here to hide from the--

  • [Kinger]: Oh, thank God you're okay.

  • You didn't experience a game show in there, did you?

  • [Zooble]: Uh, I-- What are you talking about?

  • [Gloink Queen groaning]

  • [boink!] [bonk!] [poke!] [sproing!]

  • -What's happening? -It's just Kaufmo.

  • Don't worry about it.

  • -Kaufmo abstracted?! -Nah, he's fine.

  • [Kinger]: You're right! How are we gonna get outta here?!

  • [Zooble] Guys, over there.

  • [Kinger]: Huh.

  • [Gloink Queen groaning] [Jax]: Ladies first.

  • No, wait, why would I say that? -Agh!

  • [Zooble]: Wait, Pomni's not even here?

  • Wasn't this whole thing for her? -Be quiet.

  • I can't hear the escalator.

  • -[panting]

  • [tense music plays]

  • [gasps, whimpers]

  • [whimpering frantically]

  • [exclaims angrily] [panting]

  • [groans, screams through teeth]

  • [shouts]

  • [dark music plays]

  • [cackles wildly]

  • [wooden boards creaking]

  • [sweeping, awe-inspiring music plays]

  • [choir vocalizing]

  • [music fades] [indistinct chatter]

  • [both laughing]

  • -Oh, Bubble, you always know how to make me say this exact sentence.

  • [goofy cartoon sound effects playing] -Gasp!

  • An alert on my WackyWatch at this hour?

  • Oh, no -- someone's venturing out into the void!

  • They'll get totally spoiled!

  • There you go!

  • Now, what the heck happened around here?

  • Oh, yeah -- my doing. [Kinger]: Caine!

  • Kaufmo went through a sort of Kaufmosis and abstracted!

  • -Kaufmo abstracted?

  • [exaggerated] Why didn't anybody tell me?

  • [boing!] [whoop!] [bonk!]

  • [Kaufmo growling] -And into the cellar you go.

  • [Water lapping] [Eerie low rumbling]

  • [Zooble]: Man, I can't believe Kaufmo just gave up like that.

  • I mean, no offense, Kinger, but I always thought you would be next.

  • -Thank you. -Guess it just goes to show

  • you can't rely on Kinger for anything.

  • -[voice glitching, stuttering] I am in so much pain!

  • -Oop!

  • I do have to apologize for lying about the exit.

  • I knew how much all of you have been wanting there to be one,

  • but, you know, I was having so much trouble figuring out what to put on the other side

  • and ended up never quite finishing it.

  • And you know how I never like letting people see my unfinished work --

  • especially if it leads you out into the void.

  • Anyway, it looks like you defeated the Gloink Queen, so I guess the adventure's over.

  • Your reward is a delicious digital feast

  • cooked by our head Bubble Chef.

  • -Made with all the love I'm legally allowed to give.

  • -You know, I am pretty hungry.

  • -You didn't even do anything.

  • -So, what? I can still be hungry.

  • [Kinger]: Well, not really, 'cause we don't need to eat,

  • drink, or sleep in this digital world.

  • So the digital food here only gives off the virtual sensation of eating

  • without any of the nutritional benefits.

  • [Jax]: Sheesh, lay off it.

  • Since when are you an expert on the digital world?

  • [Kinger]: Expert on the what?

  • [cheerful, wry music]

  • [majestic, sweeping music] [choir vocalizing]

  • [music stops]

  • [sweeping music crescendos]

  • [upbeat, jazzy music plays]

  • Captioned by Foulweather Studios

[elegant music plays]

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B1 中級 美國腔

神奇數字馬戲團:試播集(THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS: PILOT)

  • 19 3
    Robin 發佈於 2023 年 10 月 03 日
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