Something bad is coming.

有壞事要發生。

Hey hey mr tight pants man.

嘿嘿，緊身褲先生。

Hey look I'd appreciate it if you called me spider man.

嘿，聽著，如果你叫我蜘蛛人，我會很感激。

Okay how did you get those pants so tight man.

好吧，你是怎麼把褲子弄得這麼緊的，夥計。

Yeah tight pants man, tight pants man.

是的，緊身褲男人，緊身褲男人。

Doing what a tight pants man can I'm out here protecting the populace from bad guys.

做一個緊身褲男人能做的事，我在這裡保護民眾不受壞人傷害。

I mean I think I've earned a little respect.

我的意思是，我想我已經贏得了一點尊重。

I don't know, you don't look like a spider to me.

我不知道，在我看來，你不像一隻蜘蛛。

That's because I'm a man then why aren't you called a man man?

那是因為我是一個男人，那麼為什麼你不被稱為男人的男人？

It's spider man.

是蜘蛛俠。

Okay.

好的。

Got it spider really?

得到它的蜘蛛真的嗎？

Because he looks more like a spider than you do.

因為他看起來比你更像一隻蜘蛛。

Maybe he should go by spider man and you go by tight pants.

也許他應該叫蜘蛛俠，你叫緊身褲。

Listen I'm spider man cause I have all the superpowers of a spider.

聽著，我是蜘蛛俠，因為我有蜘蛛的所有超能力。

Got it like my spidey sense.

像我的蜘蛛眼一樣得到了它。

Spiky sense.

尖銳的感覺。

Spied E sense o tidy pence.

窺視E感覺整潔的便士。

I get it now.

我現在明白了。

I thought you said spidey sense, I did say spidey sense.

我以為你說的是蜘蛛俠的感覺，我確實說了蜘蛛俠的感覺。

What are you talking about?

你在說什麼呢？

So how did you get into your tidy pence?

那麼，你是如何進入你的整潔的便士的？

I got my spidey sense when a spider bit me giving me spiders superpowers.

我的蜘蛛感是在一隻蜘蛛咬了我之後得到的，它給了我蜘蛛的超能力。

That's it.

就這樣了。

You just got bit, that's how you got your superpowers?

你只是被咬了，這就是你的超能力的來源？

Uh Yeah I think I just wait yep I got an idea.

是的，我想我只是等待，是的，我有一個想法。

Cool well don't think too hard because you'll did you just bite me, yep now you have annoying Orange superpowers who see if you can touch your tongue to your I bet you can dude the spider that bit me was radioactive.

好吧，不要想太多，因為你會你剛剛咬了我，是的，現在你有惱人的橙色超能力，看看你能不能把你的舌頭摸到你的我打賭你能老兄，咬我的蜘蛛是放射性的。

Not just some normal spider.

不只是一些普通的蜘蛛。

Oh yeah so maybe don't go around just biting people unless you're radioactive.

哦，是的，所以也許不要到處亂咬人，除非你有輻射性。

Well my bed is kind of close to the microwave.

嗯，我的床離微波爐有點近。

So maybe I'm a little radioactive.

是以，也許我有點輻射性。

Okay, sure dude, even if you did give me your superpowers, why on earth would the annoying orange just so called super powers be appealing?

好吧，當然，夥計，即使你真的給了我你的超能力，到底為什麼惱人的橙色只是所謂的超能力會吸引人呢？

Wait, what was that?

等等，那是什麼？

Why did I make a pun and then laugh at my own pun because it's working.

為什麼我做了一個雙關語，然後對自己的雙關語大笑，因為它是有效的。

No, it can't be working.

不，這不可能是工作。

I have to defend new york against supervillains.

我必須保衛紐約，抵禦超級反派。

I can't be sitting around doing then I looks like you can, I got to stop and I can't even show web anymore.

我不能坐在那裡做，然後我看起來像你可以，我得停止，我甚至不能再顯示網絡。

I lost my spider powers and now all I have is annoying.

我失去了我的蜘蛛能力，現在我所擁有的只是煩人的。

Orange powers.

橙色的力量。

Like this sounds like your new powers are a boatload of fun.

像這樣聽起來你的新權力是一船的樂趣。

Well, well, well Spider man, we meet again.

好吧，好吧，好吧，蜘蛛人，我們又見面了。

I couldn't help but over here you lost your superpowers.

我忍不住了，在這裡你失去了你的超能力。

I'm so sorry to hear it.

我很遺憾聽到這個消息。

That's right.

這就對了。

Unlike you.

不像你。

I'm coming into this fight completely unarmed.

我在這場戰鬥中完全沒有武器。

Nice one.

很好的一個。

Tidy Pants.

整潔的褲子。

Hey, was that a pun about how I have eight arms?

嘿，那是關於我有八隻手臂的雙關語嗎？

Because you know, I'm very sensitive about that.

因為你知道，我對這個問題非常敏感。

You figure that one all out by yourself.

你自己想辦法解決這個問題。

What's your doctorate in Kindergarten?

你在幼兒園的博士學位是什麼？

Since when did you get so annoying Since like a couple minutes ago?

你從什麼時候開始變得這麼煩人了，就像幾分鐘前一樣？

What was that a seed?

那是什麼種子？

Hey, stop that right now.

嘿，馬上停止這種做法。

Mhm Oh dr rock.

Mhm Oh dr rock.

Just hit the block.

剛打完球。

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

不，不，不，不，不，不，不。

Hey everybody and welcome to story time.

大家好，歡迎來到故事時間。

I'm pear and I'm spider orange.

我是梨子，我是蜘蛛橙。

We dude, would you watch where you're swinging?

我們老兄，你能不能注意一下你揮舞的地方？

Sorry, didn't mean to bug you.

對不起，不是故意要打擾你。

Well I'm glad to see you're excited for today's episode orange.

好吧，我很高興看到你對今天的情節感到興奮，橙色。

Yeah you might say I'm really getting into the swing of things.

是的，你可以說我真的進入了事情的節奏。

We I take it this means you did the required reading for today's episode for once, nah it was too long dude, it's a comic book.

我們我認為這意味著你為今天的節目做了一次必要的閱讀，不，這太長了，夥計，這是一本漫畫書。

Oh well in that case it had too many pictures.

哦，這樣的話，它有太多的照片。

You didn't even open it, did you?

你甚至沒有打開它，是嗎？

No need pair.

不需要配對。

I pretty much remember it from the first time.

我幾乎記得第一次時的情況。

I didn't read it as a kid.

我小時候沒有讀過這本書。

Oh yeah so what's the title?

哦，對了，那麼標題是什麼？

Annoying Spider man close but also way off.

惱人的蜘蛛人近在咫尺，但也遙遙無期。

It's the amazing spider man.

這就是神奇的蜘蛛俠。

We'll see about that.

我們將看到這一點。

Great.

很好。

Once upon a time there was a high school kid named Peter parker.

很久以前，有一個叫彼得-帕克的高中生。

Now he wasn't exactly the coolest or the biggest kid at school but he was super good at science.

現在，他並不是學校裡最酷或最大的孩子，但他的科學水準超強。

How am I doing so far pair.

到目前為止，我做得怎麼樣了對。

This is actually pretty spot on.

這實際上是很到位的。

I told you I remembered it.

我告訴你，我記得它。

My mind is a steel scrap.

我的思想是一個鋼鐵廢品。

Uh that's not how it One day peter parker went to a science fair but there was no key concession stand or anything so he got zoo for hungry.

有一天，彼得-帕克去參加一個科學展，但沒有關鍵的福利社或任何東西，所以他餓了就去吃了動物園。

Finally he bit into a radioactive spider.

最後他咬到了一隻放射性的蜘蛛。

Come again.

再來吧。

He bit a radioactive spider.

他咬了一隻放射性的蜘蛛。

Okay that's what I thought you said.

好吧，我以為你是這麼說的。

See that's not exactly because the spider was radioactive Peter parker accrued the powers of the spider eight limbs, eight eyeballs.

你看，這並不完全是因為蜘蛛是放射性的，彼得-帕克積累了蜘蛛的力量，有八個四肢，八個眼球。

The ability to scare people when the bathroom light comes on.

當浴室的燈亮起時，有能力嚇唬人。

Yeah I think we're gonna need to tap the brakes here.

是的，我認為我們需要在這裡踩下剎車。

Dude, those aren't the superpowers he got.

老兄，那些不是他得到的超能力。

Well sure they are true or false.

那麼肯定它們是真的還是假的。

Peter Parker got spider superpowers.

彼得-帕克得到了蜘蛛的超能力。

Sure but not those powers.

當然，但不是那些權力。

He got all the cool ones.

他得到了所有很酷的東西。

I mean it's not like he suddenly started eating flies or something.

我的意思是，這並不像他突然開始吃蒼蠅或什麼。

That's where you're wrong.

這就是你錯的地方。

Mon pair he did start eating flies by the bowlful.

他確實開始一碗一碗地吃蒼蠅。

No he didn't.

不，他沒有。

Why would he do that flies are a disgusting thing to eat pair.

他為什麼要這樣做，蒼蠅是一種令人厭惡的東西，要吃對。

We're talking about a guy who bit a spider.

我們談論的是一個咬了蜘蛛的人。

You really think he's gonna be grossed out by the thought of eating a fly.

你真的認為他會因為想到要吃蒼蠅而感到噁心。

Good point booya.

說得好，博雅。

Now if you don't mind I will continue the list of spider powers that Peter Parker accrued.

現在如果你不介意的話，我將繼續列舉彼得-帕克所積累的蜘蛛能力。

He grew a durex, he lost the ability to speak and most importantly he gave the ability to shoot spider webbing out of his but close enough I guess so he went out on the town shooting but webs all over the place he wasn't great at first he got into the swing of things soon enough.

他長出了杜蕾斯，他失去了說話的能力，最重要的是他給了從他身上射出蜘蛛網的能力，但我想已經很接近了，所以他去鎮上射擊，但網子到處都是，他一開始並不出色，但很快就進入了狀態。

Oh but here's the thing just as he gained the powers of a spider.

哦，但事情是這樣的，就在他獲得蜘蛛的力量時。

He also gained the downsides of being a spider growing a thorax wasn't already a downside.

他還獲得了作為蜘蛛的缺點，長出胸腔還不是缺點。

Of course not pair the thorax is a very important body part plus the ladies love it.

當然不是對胸腔是一個非常重要的身體部位，加上女士們的喜愛。

Good grief, sadly Peter Parker got the bad spider stuff too.

好傢伙，可悲的是彼得-帕克也得到了壞蜘蛛的東西。

Like the ability to be easily trapped under a water glass.

比如說能夠輕易地被困於水杯之下。

This used to be one of my favorite origin stories also.

這曾經也是我最喜歡的起源故事之一。

He lost the ability to speak.

他失去了說話的能力。

His brain shrunk to the size of a sesame scene and his lifespan reduced to approximately 1 to 2 years.

他的大腦萎縮到芝麻大的地方，壽命減少到大約1到2年。

Dude, this is the worst superhero of all time.

老兄，這是有史以來最糟糕的超級英雄。

What do you want from me?

你想從我這裡得到什麼？

The guy could have been a radioactive nobel prize winner or something but he opted for a dumb old spider actions have consequences pair with great power comes and something something something.

這傢伙本來可以成為一個放射性的諾貝爾獎得主或其他什麼東西，但他選擇了一個愚蠢的老蜘蛛，行動有後果，一對巨大的力量來和什麼什麼。

Listen, can we just get to the part where he fights bad guys?

聽著，我們能不能只說他打壞人的部分？

Please?

求你了？

Sure thing, there were no shortage of enemies and Peter Parker took them all on as spider man.

當然，不乏敵人，而彼得-帕克作為蜘蛛俠把他們都解決了。

There was a lizard, I think you mean the lizard right now?

有一隻蜥蜴，我想你是指現在的蜥蜴吧？

Pretty sure it's just lizard.

很肯定的是，這只是蜥蜴。

Other enemies included chickadees, Bluebird trout hold up.

其他的敵人包括雛鳥，藍鳥鱒魚舉起。

These aren't spiderman villains.

這些不是蜘蛛俠的惡棍。

They're just natural predators of the spider.

它們只是蜘蛛的自然捕食者。

I know, don't worry pear, I got this Blackburn gecko.

我知道，別擔心梨子，我有這隻布萊克本壁虎。

Other spiders.

其他蜘蛛。

Stop.

停止。

Spider man did not swing around the city shooting webbing from his but battling the natural predators of the spider.

蜘蛛人並沒有在城市裡揮舞著手中的網線，而是與蜘蛛的天敵進行鬥爭。

Well sure he did just not for very long.

當然，他做了，只是時間不長。

Oh and why is that?

哦，這是為什麼呢？

Are you gonna tell me he got defeated by trout?

你要告訴我他被鱒魚打敗了嗎？

No, although trout is a fearsome in formidable foe.

不，雖然鱒魚是一個可怕的可怕的敵人。

Spider man met his match when he got trapped underneath the water.

蜘蛛人在被困在水底時遇到了他的對手。

Oh my gosh, a water glass.

哦，我的天哪，一個水杯。

Come on at least tell me his escape from the water glass was exciting.

來吧，至少告訴我他從水杯中逃脫的過程很刺激。

Not really, He never escaped.

並非如此，他從未逃過。

He was under there awhile and you know what I was saying earlier about a severely reduced lifespan, so that's it, that's the entire story of the amazing Spider man, yep.

他在下面呆了一段時間，你知道我之前說的壽命嚴重縮短的問題，所以就是這樣，這就是神奇的蜘蛛人的全部故事，是的。

What may I ask was so amazing about a so called super hero who fought a trout, got trapped under a glass and promptly died.

請允許我問一下，一個所謂的超級英雄與鱒魚搏鬥，被困在玻璃下並迅速死亡，這有什麼好驚訝的？

How on earth did he get the title of superhero?

他究竟是如何得到超級英雄的稱號的？

Anyway, you're right pear, It defies logic.

總之，你是對的，這違背了邏輯。

I'll say it's incredible.

我會說這是不可思議的。

Exactly one might even say it's amazing.

確切地說，人們甚至可以說它是驚人的。

Oh my gosh the end.

哦，我的天哪，結束了。

I heard trailers go off without a hitch, wait up guys I'm coming mm Alright not to spoil anything but I heard there are a bunch of crossovers in this movie.

我聽說預告片順利進行，等一下，夥計們，我來了。 好吧，不破壞任何東西，但我聽說這部電影裡有一堆交叉的內容。

Do you think they'll do a crossover with batman?

你認為他們會和蝙蝠俠做交叉表演嗎？

They might probably not.

他們可能不會。

What about Scooby doo?

Scooby doo怎麼樣？

What are you talking about?

你在說什麼呢？

Orange?

橙色？

Why would Spiderman do a crossover with Scooby doo.

為什麼蜘蛛俠要和史酷比做交叉剪輯。

Probably because it's so much fun to say Scooby doo.

可能是因為說史酷比太有趣了。

That's pretty good but try this one on for size Scooby.

這是非常好的，但試試這個尺寸，史酷比。

Okay guys, stop it, stop it, stop it, jeez I'm sorry I said anything about crossovers so you're saying you do it differently if you could Scooby dooby do it all over again in all seriousness though.

好了，夥計們，別鬧了，別鬧了，天哪，我很抱歉，我說過任何關於交叉的事情，所以你說你做的是不同的，如果你可以史酷比做一遍，但所有的嚴肅性。

I wonder if this is gonna be a fun Spiderman movie or a dramatic Spiderman movie.

我想知道這將是一部有趣的蜘蛛俠電影，還是一部戲劇性的蜘蛛俠電影。

I got my answer Ever since I got bit by that spider 8 1 week where my life has felt normal shark week was when you found out Spider man, Spider man making as many movies.

我得到了我的答案 自從我被那隻蜘蛛咬了之後，有1個星期我的生活感覺正常了，鯊魚周是你發現蜘蛛人的時候，蜘蛛人拍了很多電影。

While Tom holland still looks believably high school aged as they possibly.

雖然湯姆-霍蘭德（Tom holland）看起來仍然是可信的高中生年齡，因為他們可能。

Can you botched that spell where you wanted everyone to forget the peter parker Spider man.

你能不能把你想讓大家忘記彼得-帕克這個蜘蛛人的那個咒語搞砸了。

Yes, I was hoping Doctor Strange would be in this movie.

是的，我希望奇異博士能出現在這部電影中。

Said no one ever started getting some visitors.

說從來沒有人開始得到一些訪客。

Is that a poke ball?

那是一個戳球嗎？

It is not a poke ball.

它不是一個戳球。

Every universe.

每一個宇宙。

Marsh, he's got you there.

馬什，他讓你在那裡。

They should call it Spiderman.

他們應該叫它蜘蛛俠。

Hello peter that's one ugly Pokemon for the last time.

你好，彼得，那是一個醜陋的小精靈，這是最後一次了。

No one's a Pokemon, you're not peter parker and you're not batman yet.

沒有人是小精靈，你不是彼得-帕克，你還不是蝙蝠俠。

You're talking like this.

你是這樣說話的。

I'm sorry, what was your name again?

對不起，你叫什麼名字來著？

Dr Otto octavius.

奧托-奧克維尤斯博士

What does he have a doctorate in?

他在什麼方面有博士學位？

I wonder talking like this, what's your actual name?

我想知道像這樣說話，你的真實姓名是什麼？

There are others out there.

還有其他的人在那裡。

We need to send them back.

我們需要把他們送回去。

So Scooby doo.

所以史酷比。

This crap he said it, he said Scooby doo.

這句廢話他說了，他說史酷比。

It's the crossover of the century.

這是一個世紀的交叉口。

Stop it.

停止吧。

Just because he said Scooby doo one time does not make it a crossover Scooby doo.

僅僅因為他說了一次史酷比，並不能使其成為一個交叉的史酷比。

This crap, this christmas is lit.

這個垃圾，這個聖誕節被點燃了。

This christmas is so lit.

這個聖誕節是如此的亮麗。

You're flying out into the darkness to fight ghosts.

你要飛到黑暗中與鬼魂作戰。

What do you mean they all die fighting Spiderman, it's their fate.

你的意思是他們都是在和蜘蛛人戰鬥中死去，這是他們的命運。

It's not Pokemon.

這不是口袋妖怪。

I'm sorry kid.

我很抱歉，孩子。

Yeah, me too.

是的，我也是。

Don't Oh no he didn't.

不要 哦，不，他沒有。

Oh what do you do to Spider man?

哦，你對蜘蛛人做了什麼？

I don't know.

我不知道。

But it sure sounds like a mystery for Scooby doo and the gang, danger to our universe.

但這聽起來肯定是史酷比和團伙的一個謎，對我們的宇宙來說是個危險。

Just like grapefruits, parts.

就像葡萄柚一樣，零件。

You're not gonna take this away from me, peter, you're struggling.

你不能把這個從我這裡拿走，彼得，你在掙扎。

Damn everything you want while the world tries to make you choose, knock it off my fault.

當世界試圖讓你選擇時，你想要的一切都該死，敲掉它是我的錯。

I can't save everyone.

我不可能拯救所有人。

That doesn't make any sense.

這沒有任何意義。

Okay, little Apple, here comes your chance, chance to do what the end card.

好了，小蘋果，你的機會來了，機會來了，要做的是結束卡。

It's gonna slam on the screen at any moment.

它隨時都會在螢幕上摔下來。

Can you feel it?

你能感覺到它嗎？

This is your chance to prove to everyone you're not illiterate.

這是你向大家證明你不是文盲的機會。

Yeah.

是的。

Here we go.

在這裡，我們走了。

Get ready to, I'm not going to read the title card for marvel studios.

準備好了，我不打算讀奇蹟工作室的標題卡。

Spider man.

蜘蛛人。

No way home just because you said I have to wow you nailed it dude, but I can't stop him much.

沒有回家的路，只是因為你說我要哇，你釘住了，夥計，但我不能阻止他多少。

Like you can't stop this.

就像你無法阻止這一切。

Please don't.

請不要這樣做。

Okay, well that was fun.

好吧，這很有趣。

Although I gotta say could have used more Scooby doo and more Pokemon and more Doctor Strange bear.

雖然我不得不說可以使用更多的史酷比和更多的寵物小精靈和更多的奇異博士熊。