Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

已審核 字幕已審核
  • Congratulations on your engagement

    恭喜你在訂婚時

  • You just signed on for a life time of love

    簽下後半輩子的愛情、

  • Companionship, and 12-18 months of logistical hell

    伴侶關係還有一年到一年半左右的地獄期。

  • Step 1: pick a location

    第一步:找個好地點

  • Okay, this is easy. Barn. –Catholic church

    好啊,簡單,去牛舍。天主教教堂。

  • Fuck

    可惡!

  • Step 2: make a guest list

    第二步:列出賓客清單

  • I have 86 cousins and they all have kids

    我有86個堂兄弟姊妹而且他們全都有小孩了。

  • My mom says we have to invite all the couples they met on the cruise last year

    我媽說我們一定要邀請去年旅行認識的所有情侶。

  • That means we get to invite 2 friends

    那表示我們要邀請兩位朋友

  • It’s more than we thought

    這比我們想像的還多啊!

  • Step 3: set a budget

    第三步:設定預算

  • We want something simple and cheap

    我們想要簡單便宜的就好

  • Then fuck that budget cause no matter what you do, it’s gonna be expensive

    那幹嘛還要那預算啊!不管你怎麼安排,都一定會花一大筆錢啊!

  • Youre riding on a Shetland pony and then enjoy a 7 course meal in a crochet garden

    你們可以騎昔德蘭小馬,還可以在針織花園中享用七道菜。

  • Super low key.

    真是重要啊!

  • Chalkboards, the mason jars. Well get a food truck

    黑板和刺耳聲。我們會有餐車料理。

  • I’ve got a shed out in the back with some Christmas lights in it

    我會放一些裝飾燈在後面的庫房。

  • Wait, it’s for a fucking wedding

    等一下,該死的婚禮才是這種價錢。

  • Step 4: grow dissolution with commercial wedding industry

    第四步:慢慢解散商業化的婚禮相關行業

  • And resist the urge to elope

    還要抵制潛逃

  • I’ve talked to the photographer. We could upgrade from the lovey- dovey package to the lovey- dovey platinum package

    我連絡過攝影師了,我們可以從多情的一般包裹升級到多情的白金級包裹,

  • Or we could just say fuck it, drive to Vegas and end this

    或是我們就說該死,然後自己開車去賭城拍照。

  • Too late. I already put a down payment on the DJ

    為時已晚啦!我已經把頭期款給DJ了,

  • I’m gonna play the Black Eyed Peas, Whoo!

    我要播黑眼豆豆的歌囉,呦呼!

  • Step 5: send out save the dates

    第五步:早點發喜帖以爭取更多準備時間

  • Not to be confused with invitation, which are different for some reason

    對於不同原因的邀請,不要感到困惑。

  • I don’t know. Sometimes save the dates are magnets

    我也不知道,有時候就是想要先把時間保留下來。

  • Step 6: fight about things you don’t actually care about

    第六步:爭執無所謂的小事

  • The cummerbunds have to be periwinkle

    腰帶的花紋必須要是長春花!

  • Because the bow ties are periwinkle

    因為我的領結也是長春花!

  • That’s gonna clash with the table runners

    那和桌巾不配啊!

  • Step 7: register for gifts you don’t actually care about

    第七步:記下不重要的禮物

  • Do we need a banana unpeeler?

    我們需要「香蕉削皮機」嗎?

  • Step 8: find an officiant that will appease your super religious extended family

    第八步:找個司儀牧師來滿足家族和無神論

  • And your super liberal atheist friends

    朋友們虔誠的信仰

  • I’ll talk about how woman is servant to her husband

    我會講解女人該怎麼服侍她的丈夫,

  • And I’ll also probably mention hell a few times

    而且我也多少會提到地獄。

  • Youll both drink from the earth chalice

    你們要用地球酒杯喝酒,

  • Then I’ll do a dance in honor of Mother Gaia

    然後我會跳祈蓋亞舞。

  • I will read the Lord’s prayer and also I’m gay

    我會讀主的祈禱者心裡在想什麼,還有,我是同性戀。

  • Oh, thank god. Youre it. Youre it

    喔,感謝主。你是啊,原來你是啊!

  • Step 9: send more fancy litter

    第九步:送越多花俏的東西

  • Make sure to include litter they can litter back to you

    要確保有放賓客可以回復的東西

  • Not that they will

    不然他們就不會回覆了。

  • Hey, I was just wondering if you were coming because you haven’t RSVP yet

    嘿,我想知道你會不會來,因為你還沒有回覆我!

  • And its 80 dollars per plate, Darren

    Darren,你知道一個盤子要80塊錢嗎?

  • The only thing left to do is step 10

    最後一件事就是第十步,

  • Have awkward conversations with friends you couldn’t invite

    和你不想邀請的朋友聊些奇怪的對話

  • Yeah, I haven’t gotten my invitation yet

    真的啊,我還沒收到我的邀請函耶!

  • No. No. No. –Really? Weird. Really? That’s…

    不可能!真的嗎?真奇怪耶!你說真的?那真是…

  • Congratulations, you planned a wedding

    恭喜你們,你們計畫了自己的婚禮,

  • Enjoy it. This is the one day when everyone in your life will come together

    好好享受吧!就只有今天你所有認識的人會齊聚一堂,

  • And find something to be disappointed about

    還要找出會令人失望的東西

  • A buffet? That is so tacky

    又是自助餐?怎麼那麼無聊啊!

  • Cousin Sally’s wedding had a chocolate fountain

    我表姊Sally的婚禮有巧克力噴泉,

  • And the cummerbunds clash with the table runners, ugh!

    而且腰帶的花紋和桌巾花紋非常搭配啊!齁!

  • Oh my god! Youre at a free party and youre going to complain?

    我的天啊!你去一個免費的派對,你還要一直抱怨嗎?

  • You know, everyone should just elope. Just elope

    你知道嗎?這樣每個人都會偷跑走的,偷跑走!

  • Hey guys, it’s Murph from College Humor

    嘿,大家好,我是幽默大學的Murph,

  • Click here to subscribe, and here to watch more videos

    點這裡就可以訂閱影片囉!還有這裡可以看更多影片,

  • And leave a comment. I’ll get you started

    記得要留下回應唷!開始留言吧!

  • Uh, am I the only one who didn’t find this funny?

    嗯,我是唯一一個不覺得這有趣的人嗎?

Congratulations on your engagement

恭喜你在訂婚時

字幕與單字
已審核 字幕已審核

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋