字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 (audience laughing) - Hey sis, you wanna do a hotpot? (audience laughing) I'll bring the hotpot, bring a roommate. (audience laughing) - [Dawei] How did you know? - How did I know? (audience laughing) (bass stings) Asians are fucking honest people man. I don't know if you guys saw the video I posted recently but I was in Malaysia, I said I was 28 on stage, and this audible gasp in the crowd like, "Huh, really?" What the fuck. And I was like how old do you think I was? Some lady just went, "40." (audience laughing) 40 with this face. I think the Western world has aged me, you know. You gotta, we gotta look older here, you know if you're an Asian man. I don't know if you notice this, but you realize this, but we just, people think we look really young so we gotta like make ourself look older. You know, I'm trying to grow some wrinkles and... (audience laughing) And then you go to Asia and everybody calls you an old uncle. I don't know if you feel this. Do you feel like that, dude? The only guy in the first, oh yeah you too, all right. Sorry. (audience laughing) Oh you too. Oh, sorry man. (audience laughing) He got his, yeah. No, no, no, all right let's get on with this. (audience laughing) I'll talk to you later. (audience laughing) What's your name man? - [Dawei] Yeah, Dawei. I do know what you mean, yeah. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - So what do you do to make yourself look older over here? - [Dawei] Um, I don't, I just suffer the discrimination. - Suffer the discrimination. (audience laughing) - Dawei, okay. How old are you, Dawei? - [Dawei] I'm 33. - 33, man! See I think you look young. Stand up, let everybody look at you. (audience cheering) See I feel like I look older than him. Don't answer that. (audience laughing) You guys are merciless people. - [Dawei] My boss was like, "Dawei, when you hit 30, then you'll know what it means." I was like, "What? How old do you think I am?" (audience laughing) - Stop bragging, Dawei. Are you here with your wife? Girlfriend? - Girlfriend. - Girlfriend, nice. Dawei's girlfriend, what's your name? - Grace. - Grace. How long have you guys been together? - [Dawei] One year. - One year. How'd you guys meet? - [Dawei] Through my sister. - Sister, oh nice. Cool. You sure? (audience laughing) How did your sister introduce you to Grace? - [Dawei] Grace and my sister were housemates. - Oh nice. Cool, so you just hung around your sister's place and kind of perved? (audience laughing) Perved on Grace. That's very sketchy, you know. Hey sis you wanna do hotpot? (audience laughing) I'll bring the hotpot, bring a roommate, bring a roommate. (audience laughing) - [Dawei] How did you know? - How did I know? (audience laughing) I'm Asian too. We know the tricks. (audience laughing) We know the hotpot threesome trick, you know. (audience laughing) Not with your sister, hopefully. (audience laughing) Hotpot's the best right? Kind of cook stuff for her, you know. Did Dawei cook anything for you? The prawn or something? - [Grace] He did. Especially the prawn. - Especially the prawn, see. (audience laughing) Oh I know the tricks, you know. How to get a lady to go, you gotta start cooking hotpot for her. It'll sweep them off their feet, you know. You're a hit Natalie. That's why you've got an Asian boyfriend now, you now. (audience laughing) Something to talk about, right? You are Asian right? - Yes. Okay, good. (audience laughing) I got the gender wrong, I don't wanna get the race wrong also. (audience laughing) Ah, sorry man. (audience laughing) What kind of Asian are you? What ethnicity? - [Kar] Chinese. - Chinese. What's your name? - [Kar] Kar. - Karl? - [Kar] Kar. K-A-R. - Kar? Okay, K-A-R, Kar, okay nice to meet you Kar. Kar and Natalie, how long have you guys been dating? - [Natalie] Almost five years. - Almost five years. Oh nice. Engaged? (audience laughing) Five years! Get on it Kar. You know most things only last seven years, right? So. (audience laughing) Sorry, I'm projecting now, sorry about that. (audience laughing) All right. You planning to? (audience laughing) Some time to think about. Yeah answer this question like properly you know. Okay, okay. Not gonna let you, unless you wanna do it now, but you know. (audience laughing) What, my show's not good enough for you Natalie? (audience laughing) How did you guys meet? Hotpot? (audience laughing) What? - [Natalie] Uni. - Uni? Oh okay. Have you made hotpot for Kar? - [Kar] I've made hotpot for her. - You've made hotpot for her, yeah. Does she eat like the fish heads and the prawn heads and all that stuff? Oh that's good. Man, like, white people man. You guys freak out at any sort of head. (audience laughing) Right? There's a nice restaurant in SoHo called Kiln. Amazing Thai restaurant that serves a whole fish. My white friends just freak out like, "Why is the head still on there? The eyes look kind of creepy." I'm like, "You start by eating the eyes then." Right? (audience laughing) Poke the eyes out. Feed it to your vegan friends. (audience laughing) Tell them that's what bubble tea is made out of. (audience laughing)
A2 初級 英國腔 火鍋讓他有個女朋友(He Got His Girlfriend With Hotpot! - Nigel Ng - Standup Comedy) 35 1 Portia 發佈於 2022 年 02 月 19 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字