Old Mexico range at a farm.

E I E I o please tell me you're not the new farmhands, nope, I'm the new farm.

No hands.

Oh great.

Well here's your list of chores and here's another list of chores for when you finish the first list chores more like boars, am I right?

Hello?

He must have been laughing so hard.

He had to leave.

Hey, hey, mr sad pants.

Hey, are you talking to me?

Oh I'm not sad.

Really?

Then why the long face?

Yeah, never heard that one before.

Well most people haven't, I took a gallup poll.

That's awful.

Come on.

Don't be such a nay Sayer.

You know what I'm out of here.

Whoa.

Now it says here, I gotta put some shoes on you and I'm not here to horse around.

So what you thinking, Adidas Nikes three or more of a Birkenstocks, man.

Don't you know anything.

Horses wear horseshoes, but that doesn't mean you can't do something fashionable?

I'm an orange and you don't see me wearing orange shoes, do you?

Hmm.

Well I guess deep down I've always wanted to look beautiful.

Say no more.

I've got just the thing, wow!

Uh wow, wobbly, but my legs look fantastic now, that's what I call a high horse.

Hey, thanks orange.

Well the horse has been chewed now I gotta hoof it on over to the barn.

Hey, watch it pal easy now I don't want any beef.

Oh I'm glad you're here.

According to my list.

I'm supposed to milk you and that's no bull?

Fine?

Let's get it over with.

Okay.

Um, do you come with instructions or anything because I'm utterly confused.

I'm never going to figure this out.

I'll tell you what, Here's a fiber.

Just run to the store and grab a gallon.

We don't have to tell mr Farmer guy.

It can be our little secret.

This is so exciting.

Thank you so much.

You're dairy welcome.

Although I've never been to town before.

I have nothing to wear.

Don't worry.

I've got just the thing.

Holy cow bell wobbly.

But my legs look fantastic.

Glad to hear it.

Now.

Let's get moving moving.

Okay, well, I heard you're giving out high heeled shoes who squealed.

Very funny.

Listen, I've always wanted to bring me some fashion and culture into the pigsty.

You got anything in my size?

Sure go hog wild.

Anything in my size, You're in clock.

Can you fix me up a pair of those can do.

Hey, hey, sweet sarsaparilla.

What the heck is going on in here?

Just working on my chores, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry, I must have missed the list.

You know the one that said, I don't know.

Maybe put all my animals in high heeled shoes.

Come on, But no, buts orange.

You're just not cut out to be a farmer.

You're fired?

I mean, come on.

Why are my chickens wearing high heels?

Why is my goat wearing highest?

Why am I wearing high heels.

And why do my legs look so fantastic?

And from that day on everyone on the farm dressed fashionably and took time to feel beautiful every day.

They were happy for several weeks.

At which point the farm went bankrupt because no one was actually getting any work done and hey, hey, everyone time to learn how to milk a cow.

I didn't know much about this topic.

So to learn more, I went deep undercover for the past week as what cows and no silly.

I'm way to small to pass for a cow, but I am a passable cow.

High dude, gross, true.

But it allowed me to get up close and observe cows daily lives and let me tell you it was pretty boring.

Just the opposite pair cows lives are jam packed with excitement.

What they, they drink.

They run around on the grass all day and taking each other.

People standing here for cows.

Wait, what's step one for milking a cow?

Make sure the cow is dressed in his uniform dude.

What are you talking about?

Step to flip a coin to decide which cow team receives the opening kickoff.

Orange.

I don't think you were observing cows.

I think you were watching a football game.

What?

No, that's impossible.

I followed my cow friend Jeffery around the whole week.

Nobody's heard from Jeffery in days.

Orange word on the street is that he was made into a football.

That would explain why Jeffrey took that field trip to the factory and came out looking smaller and kinda oblong.

But now they were definitely cows.

Pear.

Were they wearing helmets and playing a game reminiscent of american football?

Yes, but cows are free to play football if they want.

Another thing I learned about cows this week.

They run around on two ft a bunch and let me get this straight.

You milked those so called cows.

Well I tried, but no milk came out.

That's because they were male.

Also.

They weren't even cows.

Well everybody's entitled to their own opinion.

I guess this is not an opinion.

Step three for milking a cow when a cow on your team scores a touchdown.

Often that cow will do a celebratory dance kidding me.

I like to move it, move it.

I like to move it, move it, geez, what's got parents?

Such a sour mood, wow.

Mhm.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, mm hmm.

Time to go.

So grab the reins.

I got a forward looking friends that's about to change.

Who needs a car when you've got the hoop.

He's got a bow five kills that's through the roof, utterly crazy with mass appeal, messing blasted for buns of steel.

Don't give me no boat or you'll get the horn, you blasted through barns and fields of corn faster than the speed of light features looking really fried.

Running through the day through the night out of sight.

Got a mad cow that ain't no bull went besties hereby life feels when you're when you got to keep on moving when your value, thank you chewing on the cut and taking names.

You're kicking all the boxes, claim to fame with that tail and rock that mike coming full bore.

I'm about to strike.

Where's the beef?

I got the deep, I'm rocking these beats while we cruise the streets, milking this moment for all it's worth steering this steer around the earth can't keep us down because we got mad skills selling cow pies and making them bells milk.

It does a body good.

Welcome to cal Hollywood.

What you gonna do when you're not afraid of you with my crew tripping through what was up with the boom.

Stay down wing and you might get pies can't match us.

Tried at this bovine ride when you're carrying me.

When you're now you keep on moving when you got your need, when you're italian when your value gained by, when your value, what you gonna do when you hear that move move, move.

What you gonna do when you hear that move move?

Move, cowbells here so have no fear.

Have no fear.

Have no fear, cowbells yourself.

Have no fear.

Have no fear.

Have no fear my stock.

If you ain't got none proof is in the pudding that were on a bull run one last time.

Let's kick it freestyle like a drive straight to the miracle mile, grab your friends and party rock center with the herd all around the clock.

Have you heard the word about the Thunderbirds?

It occurred the herds and deferred the nerd how now brown cow give a little kick, high brow, pow, wow, feeling really worried.

This song don't make no sense.

Stay with me.

Now if you're on the fence tried and true, gonna blast that move, you've got the cow power in you to scream that move because there ain't no harm.

Drive through until I bought the farm when your value, when you mm hmm.

When you're now you need, when your value needs to move.

When you man, welcome to story time with pear and Orange.

Today we were going to read the story of Jack and the beanstalk but orange already managed to blow that up totally an accident.

I'll bet.

But the joke's on orange because I expected something like this to happen.

So I memorized the story last night.

So I don't get to make up my own version of the story this week, nope.

This week we're doing the story the way it was meant to be told.

Now then once upon a Time there was a boy named Jack.

His family was very poor and one day they're cow stopped giving milk because it wasn't in the mood anymore.

So Jack's mom sent him into town to sell the cow, but on his way he came upon a man with magic beans.

Jack thought that beans sounded really cool.

So he traded the cow for them.

So the cow went home with the man in the orange.

Hold on.

What's up?

The story is about Jack, not the cow.

What?

I thought it was called Jack in the cow stock.

No, it's called Jack.

And the beanstalk.

Really?

I like mine better.

So no more of this cow nonsense.

Okay, the cow is gone.

The cow is no longer part of the story.

As I was saying, when Jack got home, his mom was furious that he had traded the cow for two dumb beans.

She threw them out the window where they were eaten by another cow.

No.

And the cow immediately sprouted into a giant cow stock and Jack climbed the cow stock to find a giant barn in the clouds.

Orange.

What is it with you And cows to like pear?

I'm cow Jack in this story.

Why do I even try?

So Jack went into the huge bar and it was like a cow feast in there.

There was every kind of milk, even root beer milk.

And there was every kind of delicious grass to eat.

And there were so many delicious cow pies straight from the oven, cow pies.

Oh yeah!

Jack ate like 50 cow pies.

I don't think you know what a cow pie is.

And I don't think the giant cow who lived in the barn was very happy when she came back home to find that someone had eaten all of her cow pies.

This is the grossest storytime yet.

So the giant cow, she's all like 55 foam cows are awesome and fair wisdom.

Okay, She did not say that.

So the giant cow got super mad when she found Jack, Jack popped onto the normal sized cow and rolling out the door.

The giant cow started chasing them because when it looked like they were Connors cow, Jack was riding sprouted pterodactyl wings and started flying.

What?

Yeah, the giant cow fell off the edge of the clouds and felt great and ground and she burst into a million tiny cows from that day forward.

Every person on earth had their own tiny cow.

Oh my God and Jack flew home on his new cow, which turned out to be a really cool pet because it pooped out golden cow pies.

Please tell me that's the end.

It is the end.

Good.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry I carjacked story time pear.

It's fine I guess.

And I made you something to show how sorry I am.

Yeah, let me guess it's TNT actually.

It's not in fact, it isn't explosive at all.

Really?

What is it?

I begged it dude, that's a cow pie.

Just taste it.

You'll really like it.

Get away from me.

No, no, look after the blast crater orange.