It's a plane.

It's story time.

Welcome fruit lovers.

I'm pair and joining me today for this very super episode is blue the tick.

I told you not to call me by my real name.

I'm pretty sure there's a bug in this room.

Dude, you are a bug in this room.

You're right quick.

Get rid of me.

Hit me over the head with this mallet.

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

But what I am going to do is tell the story of the greatest superhero of all time.

The tick.

Um no Superman.

Gotcha personally.

I feel the tick is the greatest superhero ever, but maybe I'm just biased.

Yeah, you're probably related to him or something.

Right wow.

Did you really just say that not politics are related.

Pear geez.

Oh sorry yeah, we do happen to be second cousins thrice removed.

Anyway, let's go on with the story before I get really ticked off.

All right.

Hey I am once upon a time on a far away planet named Krypton.

A baby was born and hold up that baby superman, you're telling me Superman from another planet?

He's an alien.

Yeah, technically he's an alien.

Whoa okay you have my attention but now you have my curiosity, why the heck did you not tell me the story was about aliens?

Let me set up my wallet conspiracy really quick.

I'm gonna be able to help you.

Big time.

Especially with all the stuff that the government doesn't want you to know.

Great.

Anyway Superman's planet was destroyed but his parents managed to save him just in time by sending him to earth when he arrived.

Everyone thought he was super rear because he was green and whose mucus right what now?

Like most aliens, Superman probably had difficulty with the high nitrogen content of her atmosphere care not to mention earth's gravity and temperature levels.

Um Hello, I'd be curious to know with which Larkana dialect did he communicate?

And how did earthlings deal with the fact that superman has to poop every 7.3 seconds.

Hello?

None of this is in the story.

None of it.

No.

Superman isn't green.

He looks exactly like a human.

What?

Yeah, he even got adopted by a human family in rural Kansas.

They named him clark Kent.

You're kidding me pair.

This is wrong on every level Kansas, no alien would ever be able to survive in such close proximity to corn.

That's why they make crop circles.

They're desperate to eradicate cornfield corn is like corners like their kryptonite.

Yeah, actually Kryptonite is superman's Kryptonite, you're telling me Kryptonite is an actual thing.

I was like, it was just like a metaphor and also the name of my favorite few doors down song.

Yes, it's a thing and kryptonite weekends.

All of his superhuman abilities like X ray vision, super strength, Impenetrable skin and the ability to fly.

Well it's nice to know they did at least some research on real aliens.

What about his need to poop 0.3 seconds.

House kryptonite effect that it doesn't dude.

Well I guess that makes sense when you gotta squeeze one?

You gotta squeeze one.

No, I'm saying that isn't one of superman's abilities.

He poops the same amount as a normal human.

Why are you laughing?

I'm sorry.

It's just so ridiculous.

I've never heard a story that got basic facts about aliens this wrong before.

This is the most insane story I've ever heard in my life.

Coming from you allude.

That means a lot.

Any way Clark Kent grew up to become a reporter in the bustling city of metropolis where he disguised himself in order to fight crime without being recognized.

How do you disguise himself?

Well when trouble arose, he'd often duck into a phone booth, removed his glasses and emerge in his superman suit, wow.

Would you look at that?

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's obviously clark Kent.

Uh huh.

I mean come on that's his disguise.

He just took off his glasses and suddenly everyone thought he was a totally different person.

Um Well yeah that's how the story goes.

This makes no sense.

Pair this story is so crazy.

I don't have room for all my wall of conspiracy.

All right.

I'm sorry lou I guess it was a mistake to introduce you to the concept of fiction like this I'll say and you want to know the most insane part of all this?

What's that superman suit?

I mean how does he use the bathroom in that thing?

You're telling me He's able to constantly get that thing off and on off and on off and on throughout the day every 7.3 seconds low.

I mean I get he's superhuman.

There's some feet that are simply too impossible even for the greatest superhero.

Hello Superman doesn't take his suit off every 7.3 seconds.

You mean he just goes inside the suit?

I thought this was for Kids Bear.

What a gross terrible story.

Please tell me that.

The N sure.

That's probably as good of a place to stop as any.

Sorry lou won't happen again.

I should hope not, jeez.

Louise Superman More like pooper man.

Enough flow.

No.

Yeah, yeah.