This is weird, this is like shopping for people

感覺好怪，這就像逛街買人

no this is helpful,okay, look at this bar

不，這個很有用，好嗎，環顧這個酒吧

In a matter of moments, you can find up who is single, who is gay, who is straight, who is interested.

大約在這瞬間內，你可以知道誰單身、誰是同性戀、誰是異性戀、誰對你感興趣

it's fake, it's not real. it's a central authentic, you know like, like in the nineties.

這很假，這不是真的。這是一個真正的市中心，妳知道的，就像...就像是在九零年代一樣

I bet if I was in the nineties, I can just walked out to a girl in a bar, will be like...

我相信如果身在九零年代，在酒吧裡我可以直接走向一個女孩，然後就會像是...

Hey, I'm Chris. Do you want a date? NO.

嘿，我是克里斯，想跟我約會嗎？不了

that inefficient, you will go on dates with people you have nothing in common with,

那很沒效率，你要一直跟和你沒有共同點的人約會

like iced coffee girl. iced coffee girl?! yeah I am looking out of her profile, she is addicted to iced coffee,

就像是冰咖啡女孩。冰咖啡女孩？對，我正在看她的個人頁面，她對冰咖啡上癮

I would never date a girl officially like that

像我絕不會和這樣的女孩正式約會

there is not a problem that judging somebody based on a profile

妳以個人頁面來判斷一個人沒有問題喔

let's say, my nineties girl, has trace that will be incompatible, maybe I read paragraph about her, like she is a huge sports fan and she loves science of biology

比方說，我的九零年代女孩，有反差很大的跡象，也許我會看到她的一段自介，像是他是一個瘋狂的體育迷，但她也愛生物學

sShe has a side pony?

她綁側馬尾嗎？

fine, that we were learning new things about each other, you think just working out with her paragraph you have already read

隨便，反正我們正開始認識彼此的新事物，但妳以為我們只是努力去認識妳已經看過的一段自介

no, that's not...

不，那不是...

the paragraph is like a process, you can deeper quicker, you have a date like someone, and then the fun begins while you...you know sitting around by your nineties's dream phone

一段自介像是過程，你可以更快更深入認識，和別人一樣正常的約會，隨後就會發生有趣的事。然而現在你卻坐在電話旁，等待你夢想中的九零年代女孩回應

iphone have 100 ways, I can communicate with her, I can like her facebook post, we can send each other pictures of our days, we can text

iphone有一百種方式和她互動，我可以按她臉書po文讚，我們可以互傳生活照、互傳訊息

because I'm hilarious

因為我很搞笑

you also gonna google her and you gonna find out things and you probably shouldn't know

妳也許也會上網搜尋她，發現一些妳可能不該知道的事

i am just waiting by the phone and met with her

我只是在電話旁，等她回應和跟她見面

how about security

如何確保安全

when we are together with present, you know about of the modern days discretion

我們同時見面，妳知道現代的自行斟酌

so opportunity to bond.

所以是否契合全靠運氣

oh yeah, and also inevitably things will end

歐對啊，同時無法避免感情會結束

people will break up with us, although no doubt which is easier

人們會和我們分手，但是一看就知道哪個比較容易

the nineties, yeah, in the nineties you broke up, it was over with. it was done.

九零年代，對啊，在九零年代妳分手了，一切就結束了，結束了

no, you will not be done, you will pine, you will stress, you would show up to her house outside in the pouring rain

不，你會放不下，你會變得削瘦，你會有歇斯底里，你會在大雨中出現在她家樓下

okay, well you will pine, too

好吧，妳又何嘗不是如此

yeah I pine, i will also stalk, because stalking gives me peace of mind. That's why everyone unfriend direct on their facebook, they can see they're not living in this dream world without you

對啊我會變得削瘦，我不知道如何是好而一直瀏覽他的臉書頁面，因為這樣讓我心理平靜下來，這就是為什麼大家直接在臉書上刪除好友，因為他們會知道生活不能沒有你

you can stop without the internet

妳可以不透過網路停止這段感情

I just wanna fall in love in the same way with my parents fell in love okay, that's the same way with my grandparents fell in love for that

我只是想要像我爸媽談戀愛的方式談戀愛，好嗎，也跟我爺爺奶奶談戀愛的方式一樣

its so the same love. it's just more accessible now.

這也是一樣的愛情，只是現在更容易得到

you know I can find out nineties girl

妳知道嗎？我可以釣到一個九零年代的女孩

I can date her tonight

我今晚就可以和她約會

oh, go get her, Tiger

去釣吧，猛虎

okay

好啊

okay, how do I do this

好吧，教我怎麼用這個