Yes.

Congratulations.

Thank you, thank you.

That's very exciting.

Yep, we're still hanging in there.

You're hanging in there.

What did you do, anything special?

We went out to a nice dinner.

And I got her a Cartier band, you know, some bling on it.

Yeah.

That gave her a little bling.

She's blingy, you know.

Gave her a little bling.

But the thing is, when I got the ring, the first one didn't fit,

so I had to take it back to get a different size, right?

So I'm in there.

And I always feel uncomfortable when I go in those stores.

Because you know, they're too fancy for me.

Are they?

Yeah, they're really fancy.

I feel out of place.

i can just hear my mother in my head going,

don't you touch a thing.

Don't touch nothing.

But they're always, hey, can I get you something--

So while I'm sitting there waiting

for them to bring the new ring out,

this little girl-- she's probably

like little 10-year-old little white girl--

just comes strolling in there in her little school uniform.

And I'm looking like, well, who's with this little girl?

But no, she was just sitting there by herself.

And she walks over to the counter.

She's like, may I see this one, please?

And I'm like, what the-- when I was 10,

I was chasing down the Good Humor truck, you know?

She in here buying Cartier bracelets.

It's insane.

Yeah.

And so I'm just like looking at her.

And she's like getting one of those, like, rope bracelets.

And they're probably like $500.

I don't know.

So I'm just looking around the store for somebody

to co-sign with me, like this is nuts, right?

Like, looking around.

And I'm looking at the salesperson,

as she's, like, showing.

She looks up at me.

She's like, oh, you ain't going to mess with my commission.

And she just kept going back to work.

I couldn't get anybody.

I was just looking around, like this is ridiculous.

And finally, I caught the eye of the security guard.

All right.

The security guard.

And he gave me the code sign.

But it was ever so slight.

He was just standing there.

And he looked at me.

He went-- That's all.

It was just this.

And I was like, yeah.

And then I think the manager saw it too.

Because he went right over there and told

him to shut the hell up.

Man, that is crazy.

Isn't that crazy?

I mean, how old are your kids now?

My kids-- they're almost 10.

They're 9.

Wow.

Yeah.

And they're not like that?

You keep them grounded.

No.

God, no.

No.

Uh-uh.

We're grounded.

When we fly, we're sitting in coach.

You know, yeah.

I mean, here's the thing.

That's why I hate flying with them,

because I got to sit in coach.

I always ask my assistant, whatever,

to find an excuse why I can't fly with them, you know.

Like, book me somewhere else.

Like, ooh, I'm going to have to meet you there.

I might even get there before you.

But I can't-- oh, that coach is horrible.

Anyway, sometimes I go, how long is the walk?

Can I just walk?

So anyway.

So my wife-- she goes, uh, babe, you know, uh--

Oh, she's smoking again.

Yeah, she's smoking again.

OK.

All right.

She said, babe, you know, if you'd like,

you can sit here first, and I'll sit back there

with the kids in coach.

It's OK.

And I look at her.

I'm like, that is really sweet that she actually believes

that, that she'll be OK with it.

And also, I know she's just setting me up.

That's all.

She's just waiting for the day for me to go, oh, OK.

And you know, if I do that, that's it for me.

I mean, come on.

Who does that?

I'm sitting in first class drinking champagne.

And they're back there, you know, sweating it out, trying

to fight for the armrest.

Yeah.

It's the worst.

But yeah, I make my kids fly coach.

Because they don't have jobs.

What the hell they going sitting in first class?

Right.

They don't have a job.

But you have a job.

Why don't you and Alex sit in first class?

Because you have jobs.

And then they sit in coach.

I mean, what's wrong with that?

I'm not letting my kids sit back there in coach by themselves.

Do you know what kind of creepy people fly back there?

No, I don't.

Well, those what-- somebody could just

talk to them, telling them all kind of crazy stuff.

OK.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

Jesus, Ellen.

What' wrong with you?

I don't know.

That's why I don't have kids.

Thank--

Oh, boy.

All right.

Wait.

Do you even fly coach when you-- because I

know Alex is from France.

And even internationally, you fly coach?

It's hell.

Wow.

Yes.

All right.

All right.

We have to take a break.

More with Wanda Sykes after this.

So the Oscars are Sunday.

Do you have any predictions, any ideas of--

what do you think?

Oh, man.

OK, I'll be honest with you.

You know, I get to vote, right?

So I kept putting it off, putting it off, the voting.

And then I get this text.

And it's like, you have 15 minutes left to vote.

I'm getting my nails done, right?

I thought that lady was going to smack me.

Because I'm trying to get my phone and vote.

So I get on the website.

And I finally go through the thing.

And I'm looking at my watch.

And by the time I log in and everything,

it was like five minutes left.

I just typed in "Black" and voted for everything black.

I was like, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman.

And I went to the actor site--

Regina King.

All right.

That was it.

Submit it-- boom.

All right, well--

Yeah, I went black.

It's Black History Month.

Yeah, yeah.

That's right.

Well, BlacKkKlansman is a great choice.

It's a really good movie.

Yeah, and Green Book is really great too.

But did you see Bohemian Rhapsody?

I did.

I loved the music.

I love Queen.

I'm a big Queen fan.

Well, the teeth were a little distracting for me, though.

Well, I know.

It took me a while.

I was like, man.

I know.

But it was really--

Big chompers.

That's what his teeth were like.

His teeth weren't that big.

Oh, they were.

Freddie Mercury's t-- his real--

I remember looking at Freddie Mercury and going, damn.

Yeah.

You know, like, wow.

Yeah.

No?

I remember doing that with Fre--

I mean, yeah.

He was like, oh, mm, OK.

He's got, you know--

Right.

Yeah.

But this is, damn.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, Invisalign wouldn't help that.

No.

No.

You would need, like, a fence.

You know?

You would have to call a fence company to, like,

stick posts in your--

to bring that up.

Yeah.

Invisalign-- no, buddy.

I did Invisalign.

Did you?

I did, yeah.

I had a little gap right here.

But you have to wear that thing, the guard, at night.

Because if you don't, your teeth just

try to get back to where they were.

They do.

They're like, oh, I belong over here.

Get you over here.

Get over here.

You're too close.

You're too close.

They know where they're supposed to be.

That's right.

Yeah.

But that-- mm-mm.

All right.

All right.

Nothing helped but Invisalign.

You're on tour right now.

You're shooting a Netflix special in New York City.

Yes.

When are you shooting it?

I'm shooting it next Thursday, Friday.

Oh, that's fantastic.

February 28, March 1, at Town Hall, New York City.

That's great.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

Oh, boy.

So you've been on tour a lot.

Yes, I've been on tour a lot.

And your special was great.

I really love you.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, good job.

Thank you.

Yeah, really funny.

I'm going to curse way more in my special, though--

Really?

--than what you did.

Yeah.

I just had one.

Oh, I'm on fire.

OK.

I'm on fire.

I can't wait to see it.

It's going to be great.

And yeah, you toured for your special, huh?

I didn't really--

Yeah, you were nice enough to give me

a jacket from your tour.

Yeah, I didn't--

Actually a tour jacket, made up.

It wasn't a tour.

No, it says tour.

It says tour.

Yeah.

Tour, right there.

Yeah.

Three-- no, four cities.