EVERYBODY!

每個人！

LET'S SAY HELLO TO THE CREATOR OF THE BEAUTIFUL NEW ALBUM "WE

讓我們向美麗的新專輯 "我們 "的創造者問好。

ARE."

是。"

GO GET IT.

去得到它。

MR. JON BATISTE.

JON BATISTE.JON BATISTE.

HELLO, JON BATISTE!

你好，JON BATISTE！

HOW ARE YA?

你怎麼樣？

>> Jon: YES, DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY, BABY.

>> 喬恩。是的，別擔心，開心點，寶貝。

THAT'S RIGHT.

這是正確的。

>> Stephen: I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU ABOUT SOMETHING VERY

>> 我必須問你一些非常重要的事情。

IMPORTANT -- HOW'S YOUR BRACKET?

重要的是 -- 你的籃子怎麼樣？

>> Jon: OH, MY BRACKET, FOR THE "MARCH MADNESS" THAT'S GOING

>> 喬恩：哦，我的籃子，為 "瘋狂遊行"，這將是

AROUND!

繞著走！

>> Stephen: I HAVE TO IMAGINE AS A NATIONAL BASKETBALL

>> 史蒂芬：我必須想象成一個國家的籃球。

CHAMPION YOURSELF -- >> Jon: HEY.

冠軍你自己 -- >> 喬恩：嘿。

>> Stephen: -- YOU FOLLOW THE GAME OF HOOP AND STICK.

-- 你跟著葫蘆和棍子的遊戲走。

>> Jon: YES, YES.

>> 喬恩。是的，是的。

YOU KNOW WHAT?

你知道嗎？

I HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING IT AS MUCH THIS YEAR, BUT I FOLLOW

我今年沒怎麼關注它，但我關注了。

COLLEGE BASKETBALL, AND I THINK THERE'S NO STICKS INVOLVED, FROM

大學籃球，我認為沒有涉及到棍子，從。

MY RECOLLECTION.

我的回憶。

>> Stephen: WHAT?

>> 史蒂芬：什麼？

YOU DON'T GET A CHANCE TO HIT IT WITH A STICK IF SOMEONE TRIES TO

如果有人試圖用棍子打它，你就沒有機會了。

STOP YOU?

阻止你？

>> Jon: I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER GAME, STEPHEN.

>> 喬恩，我想那是另一個遊戲，史蒂芬我想這是另一個遊戲，史蒂芬。

>> Stephen: WELL, WE SHOULD ADD SOME STICKS, MAN.

>> 斯蒂芬：好吧，我們應該再加點菸頭，夥計。

THAT WOULD MIX IT UP NICELY.

這將混合起來很好。

TWO OF THE GUYS -- I'M THINKING OF QUIDDITCH.

兩個傢伙 -- 我在想quidditch。

THOSE ARE THE BEATERS.

這些都是打手。

THAT'S THE BEATERS IN QUIDDITCH.

那是打手們在quidditch。

THE BEATERS HIT THE BLUDGER.

毆打者擊中了BUDGER。

HOW'S YOUR QUIDDITCH BRACKET?

How's your quidditch BRACKET?

>> Jon: OH, STEVE, THAT'S ONE I DON'T HAVE TOGETHER YET.

>> 喬恩。哦，史蒂夫，這是一個我還沒有的。

>> Stephen: I'M PULLING FOR BULGARIA.

>> 史蒂芬: 我為保加利亞加油。

THAT VIKTOR CRUMB IS AMAZING.

那VIKTOR CRUMB是一個驚人的。

HE USES THE BRONSKI MANEUVER TO PULL UP AT THE LAST MINUTE.

他用布朗斯基的手法在最後一分鐘拉起。

NO WAY IRELAND IS GOING TO BEAT HIM AT THE WORLD CUP.

愛爾蘭不可能在世界盃上擊敗他。

>> Jon: WOW, I TRUST YOU.

>> 喬恩，我相信你哇，我相信你。

>> Stephen: I FOLLOW IMAGINARY SPORTS, JOHN.

>> 斯蒂芬：我關注想象中的體育，約翰。

>> Jon: THAT'S GREAT.

>> 喬恩。那太好了。

I'M WITH IT.

我與它。

>> Stephen: JON, DO YOU HAVE ANY SPRINGTIME MUSIC?

>> JON，你有春天的音樂嗎？

THIS IS THE FIRST SHOW WE'VE DONE WHEN IT'S OFFICIALLY

這是我們在正式演出時做的第一個節目。

SPRING.

春天：

>> Jon: SPRING IN THE HOUSE.

>> 喬恩：房子裡的春天。

>> Stephen: YEP.

>> Stephen: YEP.

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: I'D LOVE TO HAVE

>> 我很想擁有... ...

HIM ON.

他上。

THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

這將是巨大的。

>> Jon: YOU WOULD HAVE A GREAT CONVERSATION A WITH HIM.

>> 喬恩，你會和他有很好的對話。你會和他有一個偉大的對話。

>> Stephen: I CAN'T WAIT.

>> 史蒂芬：我等不及了。

IT'S ALREADY DONE.

它已經完成了。

IT'S DONE.

它的完成。

I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT.

我很樂意去做。

JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY!

瓊-巴蒂斯特，各位！

THANK YOU, JON!

謝謝你，喬恩！

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A COMEDY ICON AND ONE OF THE FUNNIEST

今晚我的嘉賓是一個喜劇偶像，也是最有趣的一個人。

POPLE I HAVE EVER WORKED FOR, PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW,"

我曾經為之工作過的人，請歡迎來到 "晚間秀"。

MR. DANA CARVEY.

DANA CARVEY先生.DANA CARVEY.

HELLO, DANA CARVEY!

你好，DANA CARVEY！

>> WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE SEISMIC HERE.

>> 我們在這裡得到一個小的SEISMIC。

LET'S JUST RIDE IT THROUGH.

讓我們只是騎它通過。

>> Stephen: YEAH, SURF THE MADNESS.

>> 史蒂芬：是的，在瘋狂中衝浪。

>> HI, STEPHEN, HOW ARE YOU.

>> 嗨，史蒂芬，你怎麼樣。

>> Stephen: GOOD.

>> 史蒂芬：好的。

BRINGING THE ENERGY DOWN.

把能量降下來。

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH FUN, LET'S GET INTO IT.

我們已經玩夠了，讓我們進入它。

>> THERE'S A PANDEMIC OUT THERE, DDAMMIT!

>> 外面有一個大爆炸，該死的！

>> Stephen: DANA, YOU KNOW I HAVE QUESTIONS, I'M A

>> DANA，你知道我有問題，我是一個。

PROFESSIONAL BUT I WANT TO DRINK YOU IN.

專業的，但我想把你喝下去。

LOVELY TO SEE YOU.

很高興見到你。

HOW IS YOUR WIFE AND BOYS?

你的妻子和孩子們怎麼樣了？

MEV THING'S GOOD?

MEV的東西是好的？

>> EVERYTHING IS GOOD.

>> 一切都很好。

I HAD PANDEMIC BRAIN A LITTLE EARLY ON.

我有大腦氾濫症有點早了。

>> Stephen: DID YOU GET THE PANDEMIC?

>> 史蒂芬：你得到了PANDEMIC？

>> NO, I JUST GOT PANDEMIC BRAIN WHICH YOU HAVE A LOT OF THE

>> 不，我只是得了腦萎縮症，你有很多的。

INCONSEQUENTIAL CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR WIFE WHEN YOUR LIFE

當你的生活發生變化時，與你的妻子不期而遇的對話。

SLOWS DOWN.

慢下來。

I WENT TO THE ELSON'S TODAY.

我今天去了艾爾森家。

YESTERDAY THERE WAS SIX PEOPLE IN LINE, TODAY I WENT RIGHT IN.

前天有六個人在排隊，今天我直接進去了。

SHE SAID, YEAH, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE TOMORROW?

她說，是啊，你覺得明天會怎樣？

THIS WENT ON FOR WEEKS.

這持續了幾個星期。

FINALLY, I SAID, DO YOU WANT TO WATCH LOVE IT OR LIST IT BECAUSE

最後，我說，你是想看《愛它》還是把它列出來，因為：

WE DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE GOING TO KEEP THE HOUSE, AND THEY

我們不知道他們是否會保住這棟房子，他們也不知道

MIGHT SELL IT.

可能會賣掉它。

SHE GOES, YEAH, I'M IN, I'M ALL IN.

她走了，是的，我在，我都在。

AND THEN WE GOT DOWN TO RAIN.

然後我們就下起了雨。

YOU KNOW WHAT?

你知道嗎？

I THINK IT RAINED -- WHEN WAS THE FIRST RAIN THIS YEAR?

我覺得下雨了 -- 今年的第一場雨是什麼時候？

WAS IT OCTOBER OR -- YEAH, SO THAT IS WHERE I WAS FOR ABOUT A

是十月還是... 是的，所以我在那裡呆了大約一個星期。

MONTH AND A HALF.

一個半月。

>> Stephen: I LOVE THAT, THOUGH.

>> 史蒂芬：我喜歡這樣，但是。

I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE PARADISE TO ME.

我覺得這聽起來像是天堂。

I JUST LOVE THOSE KIND OF CONVERSATIONS.

我就是喜歡這種類型的對話。

>> REALLY?

>> 真的嗎？

>> Stephen: BECAUSE MY MIND CAN WANDER.

>> 斯蒂芬：因為我的心可以遊移。

>> YOU NEED FOCUS.

>> 你需要關注。

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> 史蒂芬：YEAH。

NO, BUT I LIKE TO KIND OF HAVE A CONVERSATION I CAN KIND OF DRIFT

不，但我喜歡有一種對話，我可以有一種漂移。

AWAY IN.

遠在。

EVIE WILL TELL YOU.

EVIE會告訴你。

EVIE'S HERE.

EVIE的在這裡。

DO YOU LIKE THOSE CONVERSATIONS HE JUST HAD WITH PAUL.

你喜歡他和保羅的那些對話嗎？

>> I DO.

>> 我願意。

>> Stephen: THOSE SOUND LOVELY.

>> 史蒂芬：這些聽起來很不錯。

NOT ALL OF MARRIAGE CAN BE MAKING LOVE ON A MOUNTAINTOP IN

不是所有的婚姻都可以在山頂上做愛。

A THUNDERSTORM, DANA.

一場暴風雨，DANA。

>> MOST OF IT IS, THOUGH.

>> 大部分都是這樣的。

OH, NEWS FLASH.

哦，新聞快訊。

LOOK, IT GETS SEXIER AS YOU GET OLDER, LET'S JUST LEAVE THAT

聽著，你越老越性感，讓我們離開吧。

TOPIC ASIDE.

題外話：

>> Stephen: 100%.

>> Stephen: 100%。

YOU'VE GOT TO UP THE ANTE.

你得提高音量。

PT IT THAT WAY.

把它PT成這樣。

>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER HAD IT UP THE ANTE.

>> 史蒂芬：我從來沒有用過它的ANTE。

>> WELL, I WASN'T GOING FOR THE PUN, I WAS JUST SAYING --

>> 好吧，我沒有去的雙關語， 我只是說 --

>> Stephen: YOU LEFT IT OPEN FOR ME.

>> 你為我開了個口子。

>> YOU'RE LIKE BURGE ESDZ MEREDITH WHEN HIS GLASSES GOT

>> 你就像BURGE ESDZ MEREDITH一樣，當他的眼鏡被弄壞的時候。

BROKE IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE, THERE'S TIME.

闖進了兩點區，有時間了。

THERE'S TIME NOW.

現在有時間了。

>> Stephen: I FINALLY HAVE TIME FOR ALL MY PUNS.

>> 史蒂芬：我終於有時間來處理我所有的雙關語了。

>> PERFECT.

>> 完美。

>> Stephen: EVERYBODY ENJOYS THEIR DANA CARVEY FROM KNOWING

>> Stephen: 每個人都從認識中享受到了自己的DANA CARVEY。

YOU FROM TV AND THE FILMS.

你從電視和電影。

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

>> Stephen: BUT YOU'VE BREACHED A NEW MEDIUM NOW, IT IS

>> 史蒂芬：但你現在已經突破了一個新的媒介，它是。

THE NEW PODCAST, PUT IT ON THE CAMERA OVER HERE, HITS

新的播客，把它放在這裡的攝像頭，點擊

"FANTASTIC! WITH DANA CARVEY."

"太棒了！與DANA CARVEY。"

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO GET INTO THE PODCAST

>> 史蒂芬：是什麼原因讓你決定加入這個節目？

GAME, DANA?

GAME，DANA？

>> I ALWAYS TOLD MY MANAGER, I SAID WHEN THERE'S 2 MILLION OF

>> 我總是對我的經理說，我說當有200萬的時候

THEM, COUNT ME IN.

他們，算我一個。

I'M NOT JUST GOING TO JOIN A FAD.

我不只是去加入一個時尚。

( LAUGHTER ) NO, I GOT SOME STRUCTURE.

（笑）不，我得到了一些結構。

MY BRAIN WAS SLOWING DOWN, SO I THOUGHT, IF STEPHEN COLBERT CAN

我的大腦正在減速，所以我想，如果斯蒂芬-科爾伯特能做到的話

DO FIVE HOURS OF TELEVISION A WEEK, I CAN TALK INTO A MIC FOR

每週做5小時的電視，我可以對著麥克風說話。

45 MINUTES.

45分鐘。

SO YOU WERE THE IMPETUS.

所以你是IMPETUS。

BUT MY SON, HE WAS THE ONE WHO SAID LET'S DO ONE WORD -- HE'S

但是，我的兒子，他是一個誰說 讓我們做一個字 - 他是。

IN HIS 20s -- LET'S DO ONE WORD, DON'T DO A FANCY THING

在他20多歲的時候 - 讓我們做一個字，不要做一個花哨的事情。

LIKE DANA WANTS THIS.

像DANA想要這個。

LET'S DO JUST ONE WORD.

讓我們只做一個字。

I SAY FANTASTIC A LOT.

我經常說 "太棒了"。

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

AND I USE IT IN PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, IRONIC WAY

而我用它在PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE，諷刺的方式。

RATHER THAN NEGATIVE.

而不是消極的。

SO IF I'M DRIVING DOWN THE STREET AND SEE A YUPPY WANDERING

所以，如果我開車在大街上，看到一個悠悠閒閒的遊蕩，

IN THE INTERSECTION CAUSING TRAFFIC AND MAIHEM ON THE CELL

在造成交通和MAIHEM在細胞上的交匯點上。

PHONE, INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT THE ( BLEEP ), I SAY FANTASTIC

電話，而不是說什麼的（BLEEP），我說太棒了

>> Stephen: VERY HEALTHY.

>> 史蒂芬：非常健康。

IT'S VERY HEALTHY.

它非常健康。

THERE'S MORE COVID VARIANTS -- FANTASTIC!

還有更多的COVID變種--太棒了！

THAT'S THE IRONY.

這就是諷刺。

THAT'S HOW YOU CAN USE IT.

這就是你如何使用它。

IT'S FANTASTIC.

它的神奇。

>> Stephen: I HAVE A SIMILAR THING.

>> 史蒂芬：我也有類似的事情。

MY SIMILAR THING IS THAT MY EXECUTIVE HERE TOM PURCELL AND I

我類似的事情是，我和我的執行董事湯姆-普爾在這裡

HAVE A THING WHERE SOMEBODY SAYS, OH, THIS THING IS GOING TO

有一個東西，有人說，哦，這件事是怎麼回事，

HAPPEN AND I DON'T LIKE IT, AND I GO, DO I HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER

發生，我不喜歡它，我走了，我有什麼控制的。

THAT?

那？

AND THEY SAY, NO.

他們說，沒有。

THEN I SAY, I LOVE IT.

然後我說，我愛它。

THEN I LOVE IT.

那我就愛上它了。

>> THAT'S IT.

>> 就是這樣。

I ALWAYS SAY SWEET CHEEKS WHEN I'M DRIVING AROUND, I SAY, LET'S

我總是說甜美的奶酪，當我開車的時候，我說，讓我們。

GO, SWEET CHEEKS, COME ON, SWEETHEART, COME ON, LET'S GO.

去，甜美的臉頰，來吧，親愛的，來吧，讓我們去。

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE NEGATIVE AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME,

因為我不想總是消極和憤怒。

I'M HAPPY DANA!

我很高興DANA！

DO YOU BELIEVE ME?

你相信我嗎？

IT'S JUST ONE BIG PARTY.

這只是一個大聚會。

>> Stephen: WHO'S YOUR CO-HOST?

>> 史蒂芬：誰是你的搭檔？

WHO'S CHRIS RIOS?

誰是克里斯-里奧斯？

I NEVER HEARD TO HAVE THIS PESON.

我從來沒有聽說過有這個PESON。

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TRUST HIM.

我不知道該不該相信他。

>> SHE'S NOT A PROFESSIONAL PERSON.

>> 她不是一個專業的人。

I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE ON MY

我沒有很多專業的人在我的。

PODCAST.

PODCAST：

SHE CUTS MY THEY HAVE.

她削減了我的有。

NOT LATELY, DON'T BLAME HER.

最近，不要怪她。

SHE'S A BEAUTY EXPERT.

她是一個美容專家。

I NOTICED SHE HAD A REALLY GOOD LAUGH.

我注意到她笑得很開心。

IT'S KIND OF LIKE JOHNNY CARSON, ED MCMAHON WAS SURPRISED WHEN

它有點像約翰尼-卡森，ED MCMAHON很驚訝，當。

JOHNNY SAID I'D LIKE YOU TO BE MY SIDEKICK.

約翰尼說我想讓你做我的搭檔。

HE SAID, REALLY, ME?

他說，真的，我？

AND JOHNNY KNEW IT WAS A LAUGH, AND LAUGH IS OXYGEN TO PEOPLE

約翰尼知道這是個笑，而笑是人們的氧氣。

LIKE US.

喜歡我們。

SHE'S THE SOUND TO THE PODCAST AND KEEPS IT LIGHT AND FUN,

她是節目的聲音，讓節目變得輕鬆有趣。

WHICH IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE ON MY PART BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE

這是我的一個明智的選擇，因為我認為這是個很好的選擇。

COUNTRY NEEDED A REST.

國家需要休息。

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.

>> 我們得快速休息一下。

WHEN WE COME BACK, EVIDENTLY DANA IS ABLE TO CHANNEL JOE

當我們回來的時候，證明DANA是可以改變喬的。

BIDEN THESE DAYS.

比登這些天。

I WONDER WHAT MR. BIDEN HAS TO SAY.

我想知道比登先生有什麼話要說比登有什麼要說的。

♪♪♪

♪♪♪