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自動翻譯
  • -And now here he is, Jimmy Fallon!

    現在他來了,吉米-法倫!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • ♪ -Hey, hey, hey, hey

    嗨,嗨,嗨,嗨,嗨

  • Hey, hey, hey, hey

    # Hey, hey, hey, hey #

  • Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ -What?!

    嘿,嘿,嘿,嘿 什麼?

  • ♪ -Hey, hey, hey, hey

    嗨,嗨,嗨,嗨,嗨

  • -Wow! ♪ -Hey, hey, hey, hey

    -嘿,嘿,嘿,嘿,嘿!

  • -Wow!

    -哇!

  • ♪ -Hey, hey, hey, hey

    嗨,嗨,嗨,嗨,嗨

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Oh, my goodness. Wow!

    -哦,我的天啊哦,我的天啊!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • Is it real? Oh, my gosh!

    是真的嗎?哦,我的天哪!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • Is this really happening?!

    這是真的嗎?

  • Thank you very much!

    謝謝你

  • Please, please, please.

    拜託,拜託,拜託。

  • Thank you very much.

    非常感謝你。

  • Wow. Welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody,

    哇,歡迎,歡迎,歡迎,大家好。歡迎,歡迎,歡迎,歡迎大家。

  • to "The Tonight Show!" You guys, we are --

    到 "今夜秀"!你們這些傢伙,我們是...

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • We are finally back home in Studio 6B.

    我們終於回到了6B工作室的家。

  • It is so good... [ Cheers and applause ]

    它是如此的好...[歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • ...to see this beautiful set and this crowd right here.

    ...看到這美麗的佈景和這裡的人群。

  • [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, my goodness.

    [歡呼聲和掌聲] 哦,我的上帝。

  • And also the family of raccoons that now live in my desk,

    還有現在住在我書桌裡的浣熊一家。

  • which is -- [ Laughter ]

    這是 - [笑]

  • Please, just give me a minute to soak up this audience.

    請給我一分鐘的時間,讓我好好吸收這些觀眾。

  • I've never been so excited to do a show

    我從來沒有這麼興奮過,做一個節目

  • for 58 people in my entire life.

    為我一生中的58個人。

  • This is -- [ Cheers and applause ]

    這是 - [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • This is what -- this is -- this is -- seriously!

    這是什麼... 這是... 這是... 真的!

  • Seriously, after -- [ Cheers and applause ]

    嚴重的是,後 - [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • After last year, this is like performing

    去年之後,這就像是在表演

  • at a sold-out Madison Square Garden.

    在售罄的麥迪遜廣場花園。

  • It really feels that way. It really does.

    真的是這樣的感覺。真的是這樣。

  • That's right. For the first time in over a year,

    沒錯,一年多來,這是我第一次一年多來的第一次。

  • we have an actual crowd.

    我們有一個實際的人群。

  • So now if you hear total silence after a joke,

    所以,現在如果你聽到一個笑話後完全沉默。

  • that's just because it wasn't good.

    這只是因為它是不好的。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, all week, our audience will include

    是的,整個星期,我們的觀眾包括

  • first responders and healthcare workers.

    急救人員和醫護人員。

  • -Whoa! [ Cheers and applause ]

    -哇![歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Everyone here is fully masked, fully vaccinated,

    -這裡的每個人都戴著面具,接種了疫苗。

  • and fully skipping work, by the way.

    並充分跳槽,順便。

  • [ Laughter ] You deserve it.

    [笑] 你應得的。

  • Of course, I just want to thank all of you for everything

    當然,我只是想感謝大家的一切。

  • you've done for this country in the past year.

    在過去的一年裡你為這個國家做了什麼?

  • Thank you very much. [ Cheers and applause ]

    非常感謝你。[歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • Alright, everybody, let's start the show with some fun news.

    好了,大家好,讓我們用一些有趣的新聞來開始這個節目。

  • March Madness is in full swing, and we're down to the Sweet 16.

    瘋狂三月正在如火如荼地進行,我們已經進入甜蜜16強。

  • And already, there are zero perfect brackets left.

    而已經有零個完美的括號了。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah, I can't believe our strategy of five minutes

    是啊,我不敢相信我們的策略是5分鐘

  • of research and blind guessing didn't work.

    的研究和盲目的猜測都沒有用。

  • [ Light laughter ]

    [輕笑]

  • Those are one of the jokes that didn't work, guys.

    這些都是沒有用的笑話之一,夥計們。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • You'll be hearing them throughout the evening.

    整個晚上你都會聽到他們的聲音。

  • -It's real, man. It's real.

    -這是真的,夥計。這是真實的,夥計。

  • -One of the biggest upsets was number 8 Loyola Chicago

    -其中最大的顛覆是第8名的芝加哥洛約拉。

  • knocking off number 1 Illinois.

    擊敗了排名第一的伊利諾伊州。

  • And no one's happier about it than 101-year-old nun

    而最高興的莫過於101歲的老修女。

  • and team chaplain Sister Jean.

    和隊裡的牧師珍姐。

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • She was psyched.

    她被嚇壞了。

  • After the game, Sister Jean was amped up.

    比賽結束後,珍姐很有底氣。

  • In the locker room, she was spraying holy water

    在更衣室裡,她在噴聖水。

  • like it was champagne. [ Laughter ]

    像它是香檳。[笑聲]

  • And during the broadcast, they talked about Sister Jean's

    而在廣播中,他們談到了珍姐的事情

  • pregame prayer that she delivered to the team.

    賽前祈禱,她向球隊發表。

  • It's amazing. Listen to this.

    太神奇了聽聽這個。

  • -Here's what she told them.

    -這是她跟他們說的。

  • "As we play the Fighting Illini, we ask for special help

    "當我們與戰鬥的伊利尼人交手時,我們需要特別的幫助

  • to overcome this team and get a great win.

    來克服這支球隊,獲得一場偉大的勝利。

  • We hope to score early and make our opponents nervous.

    我們希望能儘早得分,讓對手緊張。

  • We have great opportunity to convert rebounds as this team

    我們有很大的機會來轉換籃板,因為這支球隊

  • makes about 50% of layups and 30% of its 3-pointers.

    約50%的上籃和30%的三分球。

  • Our defense can take care of that."

    我們的防守可以解決這個問題。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Wow. -Wow.

    -哇哦哇。 - 哇。

  • -Right now, Charles Barkley is like,

    -現在,查爾斯・巴克利就像。

  • "She's better at analyzing college basketball than I am!"

    "她比我更擅長分析大學籃球!"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • If you think that's shocking, next season,

    如果你認為這是令人震驚的,下賽季。

  • Sister Jean is being added to the cast of "Basketball Wives."

    珍姐被加入 "籃球老婆 "的陣容。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Meanwhile, the tournament's true Cinderella

    同時,比賽中真正的灰姑娘... ...

  • is Oral Roberts University.

    是奧拉羅伯茨大學。

  • They beat Ohio State and Florida,

    他們擊敗了俄亥俄州和佛羅里達州。

  • becoming just the second 15 seed in history to make the Sweet 16.

    成為歷史上第二個進入甜蜜16強的15號種子。

  • Oral Roberts fans were like,

    口羅伯茨的粉絲們都像。

  • "Maybe now people will stop thinking we're a toothpaste."

    "也許現在人們不會再認為我們是牙膏了。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Actually, "Oral Roberts" sounds like something

    事實上,"Oral Roberts "聽起來像什麼東西

  • you can't say around Sister Jean.

    你不能在珍姐身邊說。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • After Oral Roberts pulled off their second huge upset,

    在奧洛爾-羅伯茨拉開了他們的第二次巨大的失利之後。

  • the students back on campus in Tulsa were pretty excited.

    學生們回到塔爾薩的校園裡都很興奮。

  • Take a look at this.

    看看這個。

  • [ Cheering ] -Enjoy it. Soak it in.

    [歡呼] 享受它。泡在裡面。

  • -Even spring breakers in Florida were like,

    -即使是在佛羅里達州的春假者也是如此。

  • "Everyone's pretty close. Just saying."

    "大家的關係都很好。只是說說而已。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah, not only is it March Madness,

    是啊,今天不僅是瘋狂三月。

  • it's also spring break season.

    這也是春假的季節。

  • But over the weekend, Miami declared a state of emergency

    但在週末,邁阿密宣佈進入緊急狀態。

  • and mandated a curfew due to COVID concerns.

    並由於對COVID的關注而規定了宵禁。

  • You know things are out of control

    你知道事情已經失去控制了

  • when Florida is worried about COVID.

    當佛羅里達州擔心COVID。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • College kids were like, "It's a shame, 'cause I flew to Miami

    大學生們都說,"真可惜,因為我飛到了邁阿密

  • during a pandemic to party very responsibly."

    在流行病期間,要非常負責任地聚會。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, now there's a curfew from 8:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m.,

    是的,現在有一個宵禁 從晚上8: 00到早上6: 00。

  • so spring breakers will have to return to their motel rooms.

    所以,春假的人將不得不回到他們的汽車旅館房間。

  • Yeah. [ Laughter ]

    是啊。[笑聲]

  • The best way to guard against COVID

    防範COVID的最佳方法

  • is forcing drunks into small, confined spaces.

    是把醉漢逼到狹小的密閉空間。

  • That's what I've always heard. [ Laughter ]

    這就是我一直聽到的。[笑聲]

  • Some more news here.

    這裡還有一些新聞。

  • Just when you thought he was gone,

    就在你以為他已經走了的時候

  • I saw that former President Trump is creating

    我看到前總統特朗普正在創建

  • his own social-media platform.

    他自己的社交媒體平臺。

  • If it goes according to plan,

    如果按計劃進行。

  • it'll be the first thing he'll help go viral

    這將是第一件事,他將幫助去病毒的

  • since the coronavirus.

    自從冠狀病毒。

  • [ Audience oohs ]

    [觀眾嚯嚯]

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • But you have to be careful with the Trump social-media platform.

    但你要小心特朗普的社交媒體平臺。

  • The site will automatically flag

    該網站將自動標記

  • any statements that turn out to be factual.

    任何被證實為事實的聲明;

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Meanwhile, not to be outdone, last week, Joe Biden joined

    同時,不甘落後,上週,喬-拜登加入了。

  • Tumblr on the stairs of Air Force One.

    Tumblr在空軍一號的樓梯上。

  • Take a look at -- Whoop! There you go.

    看一下...你去那裡。

  • Oh, boy! Whoa!

    哦,天啊!哇!

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • At that point, just lay there.

    這時,就躺在那裡。

  • "I'm taking my Zoom meetings from here."

    "我在這裡開我的Zoom會議。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Speaking of Trump, I just saw an update on

    說到特朗普,我剛剛看到一個關於

  • what's going on with his old private plane.

    他的舊私人飛機是怎麼回事。

  • Watch this.

    看這個。

  • -It was the ultimate status symbol --

    -這是最終的地位象徵 --

  • Donald Trump's Boeing 757.

    唐納德-特朗普的波音757。

  • Today, however, the massive jet sits abandoned

    然而,今天,這架巨大的噴氣式飛機卻被遺棄了。

  • at an upstate New York airport.

    在紐約北部的一個機場。

  • One engine mostly missing,

    一臺發動機大部分缺失。

  • one wrapped, idle, in apparent disrepair.

    一個包裹著,閒置著,明顯的破損。

  • According to records, it hasn't been flown in months.

    根據記錄,它已經好幾個月沒有飛過了。

  • -Yeah, one engine wrapped, the other's missing.

    -是的,一個引擎包起來了,另一個不見了。

  • Or as United put it, "We'll take it!"

    或者正如曼聯所說:"我們要了!"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "Get that baby in the sky!" [ Laughter ]

    "讓那寶貝在天上!"[笑聲]

  • Some business news -- I saw that Krispy Kreme is

    一些商業新聞... 我看到Krispy Kreme是。

  • giving free glazed doughnuts to customers who get vaccinated.

    給接種疫苗的顧客免費贈送釉面甜甜圈。

  • [ Audience oohs ]

    [觀眾嚯嚯]

  • I'd like to meet the one person who's like,

    我想認識一個人,他就像。

  • "I wasn't gonna get the vaccine, but...

    "我本來不想打疫苗的,但是... ...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "...I heard about that free doughnut."

    "......我聽說過那個免費的甜甜圈。"

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • "You pick the arm. I don't care.

    "你挑胳膊。我才不管呢。

  • I hold a doughnut with this arm. So you gotta get --"

    我用這隻手拿著一個甜甜圈。所以你得..."

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • So if obesity wasn't your pre-existing condition before...

    所以,如果肥胖不是你的先天條件... ...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ...it's about to be.

    ........就要成了。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • I heard about a winery in California

    我聽說加州有家酒莊

  • that's offering a pretty sweet job.

    這提供了一個相當甜蜜的工作。

  • Listen to this thing.

    聽聽這個東西。

  • -The Murphy-Goode Winery in Sonoma, California,

    -加州索諾瑪的墨菲-古德酒莊。

  • is offering $10,000 a month to work and live there rent free.

    正在提供每月1萬元的工作和生活,免收租金。

  • The company is looking for someone who

    該公司正在尋找一個人

  • "takes life one sip at a time."

    "把生活一口一口地喝下去"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -When they heard that, every parent trying to

    -當他們聽到這句話的時候,每個父母都試圖

  • teach their kids on Zoom was like...

    教他們的孩子在Zoom上就像... ...

  • [ Cheering ]

    [歡呼]

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Check this out. A man in California is

    看看這個加州一名男子

  • being investigated for using a drone to deliver meth.

    因使用無人機運送安非他命而被調查。

  • Police got suspicious when they saw the man 200 feet in the air,

    警察看到這名男子在200英尺高空時,產生了懷疑。

  • hanging onto the drone.

    掛在無人機上。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • And finally, a United flight from Newark to Miami

    最後,從紐瓦克飛往邁阿密的美聯航班機。

  • was diverted after one man bit another passenger's ear.

    在一名男子咬傷另一名乘客的耳朵後被改道。

  • [ Audience oohs ]

    [觀眾嚯嚯]

  • When United heard, they immediately charged him

    美聯航聽說後,立即起訴他

  • $8 for an in-flight snack.

    8元的機上小吃。

-And now here he is, Jimmy Fallon!

現在他來了,吉米-法倫!

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B1 中級 中文 TheTonightShow 笑聲 掌聲 歡呼聲 觀眾 特朗普

特朗普調侃新的社交媒體平臺,並放棄私人飛機|《今夜秀》|《今夜秀》。 (Trump Teases New Social Media Platform and Abandons Private Jet | The Tonight Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 23 日
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