Name: 特朗普調侃新的社交媒體平臺，並放棄私人飛機｜《今夜秀》｜《今夜秀》。 (Trump Teases New Social Media Platform and Abandons Private Jet | The Tonight Show)
Uploaded: 2021-03-23T18:11:58.000Z
Duration: 8 min 17 s

Wow. Welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody,

哇，歡迎，歡迎，歡迎，大家好。歡迎，歡迎，歡迎，歡迎大家。

to "The Tonight Show!" You guys, we are --

到 "今夜秀"！你們這些傢伙，我們是...

我們終於回到了6B工作室的家。

它是如此的好...[歡呼聲和掌聲]

...to see this beautiful set and this crowd right here.

...看到這美麗的佈景和這裡的人群。

[歡呼聲和掌聲] 哦，我的上帝。

And also the family of raccoons that now live in my desk,

還有現在住在我書桌裡的浣熊一家。

Please, just give me a minute to soak up this audience.

請給我一分鐘的時間，讓我好好吸收這些觀眾。

我從來沒有這麼興奮過，做一個節目

This is what -- this is -- this is -- seriously!

這是什麼... 這是... 這是... 真的！

Seriously, after -- [ Cheers and applause ]

嚴重的是，後 - [歡呼聲和掌聲]

It really feels that way. It really does.

真的是這樣的感覺。真的是這樣。

That's right. For the first time in over a year,

沒錯，一年多來，這是我第一次一年多來的第一次。

So now if you hear total silence after a joke,

所以，現在如果你聽到一個笑話後完全沉默。

是的，整個星期，我們的觀眾包括

-Everyone here is fully masked, fully vaccinated,

-這裡的每個人都戴著面具，接種了疫苗。

Of course, I just want to thank all of you for everything

當然，我只是想感謝大家的一切。

you've done for this country in the past year.

在過去的一年裡你為這個國家做了什麼？

Thank you very much. [ Cheers and applause ]

Alright, everybody, let's start the show with some fun news.

好了，大家好，讓我們用一些有趣的新聞來開始這個節目。

March Madness is in full swing, and we're down to the Sweet 16.

瘋狂三月正在如火如荼地進行，我們已經進入甜蜜16強。

And already, there are zero perfect brackets left.

Yeah, I can't believe our strategy of five minutes

是啊，我不敢相信我們的策略是5分鐘

of research and blind guessing didn't work.

的研究和盲目的猜測都沒有用。

Those are one of the jokes that didn't work, guys.

這些都是沒有用的笑話之一，夥計們。

You'll be hearing them throughout the evening.

整個晚上你都會聽到他們的聲音。

-這是真的，夥計。這是真實的，夥計。

-One of the biggest upsets was number 8 Loyola Chicago

-其中最大的顛覆是第8名的芝加哥洛約拉。

擊敗了排名第一的伊利諾伊州。

And no one's happier about it than 101-year-old nun

而最高興的莫過於101歲的老修女。

After the game, Sister Jean was amped up.

In the locker room, she was spraying holy water

And during the broadcast, they talked about Sister Jean's

而在廣播中，他們談到了珍姐的事情

pregame prayer that she delivered to the team.

"As we play the Fighting Illini, we ask for special help

"當我們與戰鬥的伊利尼人交手時，我們需要特別的幫助

to overcome this team and get a great win.

來克服這支球隊，獲得一場偉大的勝利。

We hope to score early and make our opponents nervous.

我們希望能儘早得分，讓對手緊張。

We have great opportunity to convert rebounds as this team

我們有很大的機會來轉換籃板，因為這支球隊

makes about 50% of layups and 30% of its 3-pointers.

我們的防守可以解決這個問題。"

"She's better at analyzing college basketball than I am!"

"她比我更擅長分析大學籃球！"

If you think that's shocking, next season,

如果你認為這是令人震驚的，下賽季。

Sister Jean is being added to the cast of "Basketball Wives."

珍姐被加入 "籃球老婆 "的陣容。

Meanwhile, the tournament's true Cinderella

同時，比賽中真正的灰姑娘... ...

他們擊敗了俄亥俄州和佛羅里達州。

becoming just the second 15 seed in history to make the Sweet 16.

成為歷史上第二個進入甜蜜16強的15號種子。

"Maybe now people will stop thinking we're a toothpaste."

"也許現在人們不會再認為我們是牙膏了。"

Actually, "Oral Roberts" sounds like something

事實上，"Oral Roberts "聽起來像什麼東西

After Oral Roberts pulled off their second huge upset,

在奧洛爾-羅伯茨拉開了他們的第二次巨大的失利之後。

the students back on campus in Tulsa were pretty excited.

學生們回到塔爾薩的校園裡都很興奮。

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特朗普調侃新的社交媒體平臺，並放棄私人飛機｜《今夜秀》｜《今夜秀》。 (Trump Teases New Social Media Platform and Abandons Private Jet | The Tonight Show)

strategy

deserve

obesity

audience