[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Well, guys, yesterday, The White House

好了，夥計們，昨天，白宮

had a press briefing, and they announced that

有一個新聞發佈會，他們宣佈，

they reached out to North Korea to restart nuclear talks

他們與北韓接觸，重啟核談判。

but had not heard back.

但一直沒有迴音。

At first, I thought the reason for the lack of response

起初，我以為沒有反應的原因是什麼？

might be that Kim Jong-Un uses a fax machine,

可能是金正恩使用傳真機。

but then I remembered Biden does, too, so...

但我想起拜登也是這樣的 所以...

Well, hours after The White House said

好吧，在白宮說了幾小時後

it hadn't received a response from North Korea,

它沒有收到北韓的答覆。

Kim Jong-Un's sister made a statement.

金正恩的妹妹發表了聲明。

Listen to this.

聽聽這個。

-This new warning to the Biden administration.

-這是對拜登政府的新警告。

She says...

她說...

-Ooh!

-哦！

-Okay! [ Laughter ]

-好吧！[笑聲]

-Okay.

-好吧

Yeah, nice try, North Korea, but we're America.

是啊，不錯的嘗試，北韓，但我們是美國。

We haven't slept well for the past five years, so...

過去五年我們都沒睡好，所以... ...

Seriously, only four years without sleep

說真的，只有四年沒有睡覺

sounds like a bargain.

聽起來像一個便宜貨。

Also, I like that Kim Jong-Un

還有，我喜歡金正恩。

had his sister deliver the message.

讓他的妹妹來傳話。

It's like North Korea's version of,

這就像北韓版的。

"I heard a noise in America.

"我在美國聽到了一個聲音。

Go check it out."

去看看吧。"

Oh, and here's some big news.

哦，還有一個大新聞。

According to U.S. intelligence, Russia and Iran

據美國情報部門稱，俄羅斯和伊朗。

tried to interfere with the 2020 election.

試圖干涉2020年的選舉。

Biden's like, "Well, whatever you did, thanks, fellas."

拜登說 "好吧，不管你做了什麼，謝謝你，夥計們"

Yeah.

是啊。

This is pretty rough news for Trump.

這對特朗普來說，是個相當艱難的消息。

It's like losing in Little League

就像在少棒聯賽中輸了一樣

and then finding out your dad bribed the ump.

然後發現你爸爸賄賂了裁判。

Right now, Putin and the ayatollah are on a couch

現在，普京和阿亞圖拉在沙發上。

like a Nora Ephron movie.

就像Nora Ephron的電影

[ Russian accent ] We met hacking the election.

[俄羅斯口音] 我們遇到了黑客選舉。

He wanted to hack ballots.

他想黑掉選票。

I wanted to hack Twitter.

我想黑掉Twitter。

And we've been together ever since.

從此我們就在一起了。

Well, some business news here.

好了，一些商業新聞在這裡。

I saw that Mountain Dew is releasing

我看到了山露水正在發行

a new sugar-free soda called Frost Bite Zero Sugar.

一種新的無糖蘇打水，名為Frost Bite Zero Sugar。

Here's a photo.

這是一張照片。

Yeah, something tells me that if you're drinking

是啊，我有種感覺，如果你喝了酒

a neon-blue drink called Frost Bite,

一種叫 "冰霜之咬 "的霓虹藍色飲料。

you're not that worried about the sugar content.

你並不擔心糖的含量。

Meanwhile, I saw that Heinz just launched

同時，我看到亨氏剛剛推出了

three new combo condiments called

三種新的組合調味品稱為

Hanch, Wasabioli, and Tarchup.

Hanch, Wasabioli, and Tarchup.

-Yes!

-是的！

-When asked how they came up with these, Heinz was like,

-當被問到他們是怎麼想出這些東西的時候，海因茨說：

"We got draked -- drunk and baked."

"我們得到了draked -- 醉酒和烘烤。"

I'm actually trying to be a little healthier,

其實我是想讓自己更健康一點。

so I'm waiting for Tarchup Zero.

所以我在等塔丘普零號。

That's right -- there are three new combo condiments.

沒錯，有三種新的組合調味品。

There's Tarchup, which is tartar sauce and ketchup,

有Tarchup，就是塔塔醬和番茄醬。

Hanch, which is hot sauce and ranch,

漢奇，就是辣醬和牧場。

and Wasabioli, which is wasabi and aioli.

和Wasabioli，也就是芥末和青菜。

They're funny names, but some of the other combos

他們的名字很有趣，但其他一些組合。

they tried didn't really work out.

他們嘗試了，但沒有真正的工作了。

For example, they tried combining

例如，他們嘗試將

balsamic and hot sauce and got...

香醋和辣醬，並得到了... ...

Then they combined oil, aioli, and mayo and got...

然後他們把油、蛋黃醬和蛋黃醬結合在一起，然後... ...

And, finally, they combined beef gravy, Italian dressing,

最後，他們把牛肉汁、意大利調味料結合起來。

and Greek yogurt in a wok with barbecue sauce and got...

和希臘酸奶在鍋裡與燒烤醬和得到了... ...

I mean, that's...

我的意思是，那是...

This is interesting.

這很有趣

A new study found that almost 80% of Manhattan office workers

一項新的研究發現，曼哈頓近八成的上班族。

will not return to their workplace full time

將不會全職返回工作場所

once their office reopens.

一旦他們的辦公室重新開放。

Yep, 80% are happy that they won't return to their workplace,

是的，80%的人都很高興，他們不會再回到他們的工作場所。

while the other 20% are parents.

而另外20%是父母。

"I'll be back in 15 hours.

"我15小時後回來。

You guys know how to tuck yourselves in, right?

你們知道怎麼把自己塞進去吧？

Cool. See ya."

涼爽。再見。"

Yeah, bosses are already trying to get people to come back.

是啊，老闆們已經在努力讓人們回來了。

They're like, "Come on.

他們就像，"來吧。

There's free Hanch in the kitchen."

廚房裡有免費的漢奇。"

It sort of makes sense.

這有點道理。

It's basically, "Do I want my three-bedroom office

基本上就是，"我想讓我的三居室的辦公室

with a private bathroom

帶私人浴室

or do I want to share a cubicle with Frank,

還是我想和Frank住一個隔間？

the guy in the office who burns microwave popcorn?"

辦公室裡那個燒微波爐爆米花的傢伙？"

[ Chuckles ]

[笑]

There's someone here that does that.

這裡有一個人是這樣做的。

I forget who it is.

我忘了是誰。

I'll find out. I always smell it.

我會發現的。我總是聞到它。

Is that you, Quest? -Yeah.

是你嗎，任務？-是的。

-I go, "Come on, man.

-我走了，"來吧，夥計"。

If you're gonna do it, just make -- Just stop it.

如果你要做的話，就... ... 停止吧。

You know, I know you'll waste 10 kernels.

你知道的，我知道你會浪費10顆核。

Just don't --"

不要..."

"I got to push all the way.

"我得一路推下去。

Got to get all those kernels popped."

得把這些果核都爆掉。"

You ruined it, burned it, and the whole office smells like it.

你毀了它，燒了它，整個辦公室都是它的味道。

-2 minutes and 37 seconds. I got it to a science.

-2分37秒我把它變成了一門科學。

-No way, man. No, no.

-沒門，夥計不，不

I'm sensor pop all the way, man. -Sensor pop?

我是傳感器彈出的所有方式，男人。-感應器爆裂？

-Yeah, man. You got to do it by the sensors.

-是的，夥計你必須通過傳感器來做。

You type "popcorn sensor," and it shuts off automatically.

你輸入 "爆米花傳感器"，它就會自動關閉。

-It does? -Yeah.

-是嗎？-是的

-I got to try that. -It totally works.

-我得試試-完全有效

You know how they do it? -How do they do it?

你知道他們是怎麼做的嗎？-他們怎麼做的？

-What do you think? Any guesses?

-你怎麼看？你有什麼看法？

-Um, I would guess that it's, like -- It's an audio thing.

-嗯，我猜想，這是，就像 - 這是一個音頻的事情。

Like, it's -- Once, you know --

就像，它的 - 一旦，你知道 -

But you're talking microwave oven, right?

但你說的是微波爐吧？

-Correct.

-正確

-Once the microwave, like, no longer hears

-一旦微波爐，喜歡，不再聽到。

the popping sound or, you know, once the pops are a certain,

啪啪的聲音，或者，你知道，一旦啪啪的聲音是一定的。

you know, distance apart or amount of time apart,

你知道，相隔的距離或相隔的時間量。

then it shuts down.

然後它就關閉了。

-Because you think it slows -- the popping slows down to --

-因為你認為它減緩了... 啪啪聲減緩了... ...

-I know the popping slows down as the popcorn --

-我知道爆米花的爆裂聲慢了下來，因為爆米花 --

That's -- Here's what we know.

這是... 這是我們知道的。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

When you cook some popcorn... -Uh-huh.

當你煮爆米花的時候... ...-嗯哼

-...the closer it is to being completely done,

-...越是接近於完全完成。

the less it's gonna pop, because, you know,

越少它的會彈出， 因為，你知道，

the kernels have already popped.

內核已經彈出。

But there may be some strays, you know.

但可能會有一些流浪者，你知道的。

-You got a couple strays there, which totally

-你有一對夫婦流浪在那裡，這完全...

debunks your theory, so, no, you're wrong, unfortunately.

揭穿了你的理論，所以，不，你錯了，很不幸。

-Uh, I don't know. Okay. How's it work?

-呃，我也不知道好吧，怎麼用？

-Uh, uh...steam.

-呃，呃... 蒸汽。

-Ah! -There you go, everybody.

-給你的，各位。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-And now back to the show.

-現在回到節目中來

[ Bell dings ] -Speaking of...

[鐘聲] 說到... ...

Speaking of working from home,

說到在家工作。

there's a new app for Zoom users.

有一個新的應用程序為Zoom用戶。

Check this out.

看看這個。

-The Zoom Escaper app.

-Zoom Escaper應用。

It allows Zoom users to sabotage their own calls

它允許Zoom用戶破壞自己的通話。

with sound effects, like a crying baby.

有聲音效果，就像一個哭泣的嬰兒。

You can also make it seem as if you have a bad connection.

你也可以讓人覺得你的連接不好。

-Yeah. That's right -- an app that will make it seem like

-是的，沒錯...沒錯... 一個應用程序會讓人覺得...

your Zoom has technical difficulties.

您的Zoom有技術問題。

So, basically, these guys invented Zoom.

所以，基本上，這些傢伙發明了Zoom。

And, finally, some news for Mega Millions players.

最後，對百萬玩家來說，有些消息。

Watch this.

看這個。

-An unclaimed Mega Millions ticket

-一張無人認領的百萬彩票

purchased last year is set to expire tomorrow.

去年購買的產品將於明天到期。

The winning ticket was bought in Rhode Island

中獎彩票是在羅德島買的

on St. Patrick's Day 2020.

在2020年聖帕特里克節。

It's worth $1 million, and the rightful owner

價值一百萬元，合法的主人

has less than 24 hours to accept the lump sum.

有不到24小時的時間來接受一次性付款。

-You know last March, a guy left the ticket in his office

-你知道去年三月，有個人把票留在他的辦公室裡。

next to a half-eaten sandwich, thinking,

在一個吃了一半的三明治旁邊，想。

"I'll take care of this tomorrow."

"明天我會處理好的。"