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  • - I think this show is made for us.

  • - Yeah

  • - Interesting hairstyles, booze, drugs and (bleep).

  • (Laughs)

  • - Good old sweaty (bleep).

  • - Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel.

  • - And I'm Katya.

  • - And we are two queens who like to watch.

  • - And what are we watching today?

  • Well, The Queen's Gambit.

  • - Yeah, it's pulled directly from the YouTube comments.

  • This was heavily requested.

  • - Heavily requested and thoroughly enjoyed by me

  • prior to this experience.

  • - Oh really?

  • - Oh yes, honey, I watched it.

  • I watched the (bleep) out of it.

  • - Do you (bleep) with chess?

  • - I don't (bleep) with chess but I (bleep) with this series.

  • - Not at all, not at all.

  • - See you on Farmville, (bleep).

  • (Laughs)

  • (Dramatic music)

  • - [Trixie] Spoilers ahead.

  • - Spoilers alert.

  • - I'm just envisioning that it's going to be

  • this hot girl with short bangs,

  • like leaning over a board,

  • like modeling a lot.

  • - When I (bleep) tell you that's exactly what she does,

  • it's the pursed lips and the focused stare.

  • - It's going to be that.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Maybe we should get into chess.

  • - Nope. No.

  • So now we get to look at the origin story

  • of the lovely Ms. Elizabeth Harmon.

  • Orphaned. Me? Whore-phan.

  • - [Elizabeth] I'm coming.

  • Oh!

  • (Crashing)

  • - [Katya] I love a fall in the bathtub,

  • sets you up for a fun whimsical lump.

  • - Okay. Still hot.

  • - (Bleep).

  • - Oh my God,

  • she's a party girl.

  • You know, a little pep-pill.

  • - Guess who's in the bed.

  • - Her daughter

  • (Laughs)

  • - She's 17.

  • - She's, Oh.

  • Well she's drinking and taking pills.

  • She's in France.

  • - Allô pâlot.

  • What do you think of that wig?

  • She's wigging out.

  • Why is she running?

  • - Mama? She's late for a match.

  • - Boy, I love a Pilgrim shoe.

  • Work (bleep).

  • Oh. Oh is she famous?

  • - Oh yeah, oh yeah.

  • Rising up through the ranks of chess-dom.

  • - That's how famous people get from chess?

  • - Mama, grandmaster wizard level.

  • - I'm sorry.

  • - So that's the Russian guy, he's fabulous.

  • - He's playing against her?

  • - Uh-huh.

  • - Oh, he's been waiting, he's mad.

  • You know how I would sit down

  • if I was playing chess these people?

  • (Moans)

  • and I'll go, uh.

  • What did we say?

  • Hot girl staring in a hot way.

  • - She has a face that you just want to look at.

  • - I want far apart eyes and like

  • - It's the Cupid's bow.

  • - my eyes are so close together,

  • I look like Cyclops.

  • - I think it's the shape.

  • - Oh, I'm not talking about now.

  • But also, how dare you?

  • (Laughs)

  • Well maybe it's the dark black circles

  • you draw around them, you (bleep) baby.

  • - Picasso wasn't understood in his day.

  • - Oh, she's that kind of orphan.

  • - Humble beginnings.

  • - Oh my God.

  • - Every good series starts with a fatal car accident.

  • - Oh.

  • Maybe this is like Slumdog Millionaire

  • and she's good at chess because

  • her parents are dead.

  • She had nothing to do.

  • - Chess-dog Millionaire.

  • - You understand dear, your mother's passed on.

  • You know what that means, don't you?

  • - Is that Nathan Lane?

  • - I love a dramatic lull.

  • Nobody wants to adopt a person over five years old.

  • - Not me, I'm looking for someone 17 and a half.

  • I'm looking to do a quick six months,

  • say I did it.

  • - This is Elizabeth Harmon.

  • - You're all a bunch of (bleep)ing (bleep)suckers!

  • - Jolene.

  • (Laughs)

  • - I did tell you I had a role in this.

  • - You're one of the (bleep)suckers?

  • - Yeah I was (bleep)sucker #2.

  • - Beth is being introduced to her first addiction

  • she picks up, which is pills

  • because the children get drugged here.

  • - I save the green ones up for the nighttime.

  • Otherwise they turn off right

  • when you need them to turn on.

  • - That's a friend.

  • - Your mama and daddy dead?

  • What's the last thing they said to you before they died?

  • - Oh my God.

  • - I know.

  • - This is me trying to relate to people.

  • - I know.

  • - Interesting. Both your parents died.

  • - Both dead? Murder? How bloody?

  • - Yeah, bloody? Yeah.

  • Was it open-casket? Okay.

  • - Do you know how many basic people are about to

  • start chess lessons in two second because of the show?

  • - Like, if I do chess

  • will people think I'm complicated and hot?

  • - Yeah but when they find out it's not checkers,

  • that's a wrap.

  • - I go to chess and the whole time,

  • I think it's Bananagrams.

  • I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to spell a word

  • with this.

  • - Scrabble.

  • - Words with Friends.

  • - Funny story,

  • I got so beaten down in Words with Friends

  • that I actually cried.

  • I cried.

  • I cried because I was like, nor

  • N-O-R

  • I was like, what the (bleep) kind of word is that?

  • He's like, neither, nor.

  • I was like, I actually started crying.

  • The Queen's Gambit.

  • (Laughs)

  • - [Katya] So there's this dude in the basement, right?

  • He's kind of like the mysterious janitor

  • and she really wants to get chess lessons.

  • - Oh, she wants to learn.

  • - Yeah.

  • - I hope he's like fine, I'll do it

  • but you have to grow out your bangs.

  • (Laughs)

  • We're not doing this anymore.

  • - Seriously.

  • (Dramatic music)

  • - [Trixie] Let's get turnt.

  • - Any drug addict knows that

  • if you take drugs at night,

  • you develop a special skill.

  • - I can't tell if you're kidding.

  • - No, of course I'm kidding.

  • - Oh, well, I don't know if you have,

  • it depends on what kind of drugs you take.

  • - Yeah, I guess.

  • - If you take drugs at night

  • you might develop a really clean home.

  • - That's true.

  • - You know?

  • - That's true.

  • - Beth, a troubled young drug addict,

  • meets a failed talent who likes to drink.

  • I don't know if you and I will have any insight

  • into this type of relationship,

  • but we'll have to see.

  • - The adventures of Boozehound & Cracky,

  • tonight at eleven.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Everything is so drab.

  • - Color had not been invented yet.

  • Oh.

  • - Fashion montage.

  • - Don't you look lovely.

  • - A lovely utilitarian smock.

  • - Aren't we going to look at the chess sets?

  • - Another time, dear.

  • But I'm going to start giving you 40 cents a week allowance.

  • - Did you have an allowance?

  • - Of course not.

  • - Okay.

  • - My mom had an allowance from the state.

  • (Laughs)

  • It's called welfare, (bleep).

  • Did you have an allowance?

  • - Yeah.

  • - What'd you get?

  • - Ten dollars a week.

  • - I mean, how old were you?

  • - Twenty two.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Do you have any books on chess?

  • - Hi, do you have a VHS copy of the off-Broadway run

  • of the musical chess?

  • - I need you to fill this prescription for me.

  • - And while you're there,

  • - Give me a pack of smokes.

  • - Buy yourself a Coke,

  • - Oh. Six pennies?

  • (Bleep) really? A coke?

  • - I loved back in the day.

  • Will you get me like a winter coat,

  • a couple of refrigerators,

  • three weeks worth of ham,

  • here's a fiver.

  • - Yeah.

  • - There was a lady in my town,

  • I pumped her gas once and she gave me 35 cents.

  • - And that was enough.

  • - She thought so.

  • (Laughs)

  • - I started siphoning that gas

  • straight back out of that truck.

  • I say, no girl.

  • - Doctor Talbot has decided I need more tranquility.

  • Much more.

  • - So are we to understand that that's like a xanny?

  • - Yes, I'm taking a xanny-bar.

  • My black beauty's kicking in

  • Here I go, Gallop.

  • Gallop.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Why do they only fill these bottles half-full?

  • - Oh, she's stealing them.

  • This time the hallucination doesn't work,

  • it's just me in the corner, nude like this.

  • I'm doing TikTok dancing in the corner.

  • I hope when she read for this role, it was like

  • do you think you could lay down in an Anna Wintour bob

  • and stare at the ceiling for about half the series?

  • (Laughs)

  • - This is a Cardinal.

  • - It's a butt plug.

  • - This is a butt-

  • (Laughs)

  • I don't know what this is.

  • - Oh, I know what this is,

  • this is an obsidian roller.

  • It's great for the skin.

  • It, apparently it's a puzzle.

  • Is it supposed to do that?

  • - You know what the fun thing about puzzles is?

  • Figure them out.

  • (Laughs)

  • - This is my house and I almost through this.

  • - It's like a Chinese finger trap from Addams family.

  • (Squeaking)

  • There's a trick.

  • - No.

  • - So she's learning that this chess game

  • could yield a little bit of cash-money.

  • - Oh really?

  • - And then the mom is also seeing dollar signs too.

  • So they got a little, they get a little grift cooking.

  • - Nothing brings a family together

  • like exploiting children for business.

  • - Absolutely.

  • - Britney's dad encouraged her to do music

  • and she's fine now.

  • (Laughs)

  • - I just didn't have the faintest idea

  • that people made money playing chess.

  • - There's tournaments with much bigger prizes,

  • a lot.

  • - How much bigger?

  • - Love her.

  • I'm her!

  • I'm her.

  • I'm her!

  • I want a child with a challenging haircut and-

  • - A skill

  • - A skill I can monetize, yes.

  • I feel like they could have given this to her

  • earlier in life.

  • - Like a little travel set or something.

  • - It says here that there is a tournament in Cincinnati

  • and the first prize is $500.

  • - That's the equivalent of like 500 million.

  • - Where would we stay?

  • - At the Gibson hotel in a double room for $22 a night.

  • - This is me trying to get you to do things.

  • - I know, I know.

  • - I'm waking you up at 1:00 PM like, guess what flop?

  • I got us a Netflix gig!

  • - Dresses, backless. Hair, not done.

  • (Laughs)

  • - So the winnings keep coming in

  • as she gets introduced to alcohol.

  • - Perhaps you could give me a 10%?

  • As an agent's commission.

  • - At least she's only asking for 10.

  • - Thank you.

  • - Imagine if I had a manager instead of a mom.

  • - School girl beats grandmaster in Pittsburgh,

  • onlookers were amazed at her useful fine points of strategy.

  • - Airplanes back in the day? Fierce.

  • - You think this is fierce?

  • Someone's smoking on a plane

  • with like no protections.

  • - Yes.

  • - Okay.

  • (Laughs)

  • - [Trixie] I don't like to drink on planes.

  • - [Katya] Why?

  • - [Trixie] That's a lie.

  • (Laughs)

  • Well, you know how people-

  • - I don't like people to know

  • that I drink on planes.

  • No, like, international flight,

  • sure, give me the wine.

  • I'll go to sleep

  • but if you're going somewhere to go do something,

  • you don't want land twisted or hungover.

  • - No, not from like Boston to New York.

  • - Yeah.

  • - She has a fever of 101.

  • - It started out as mono,

  • she's like yeah, her head's fell off.

  • - Yeah.

  • - [Trixie] So what's going on here?

  • - She is ready for love.

  • It's Valentime's day.

  • - Valentime's?

  • - Yeah.

  • That's her Valentine.

  • Are you saying Valentime?

  • - Everyone calls me Townes.

  • Maybe that's why I call you Harmon instead of Elizabeth.

  • - He's very erotic.

  • - Very sexual.

  • - I don't want to say I've been deprived,

  • but no one's ever treated me like that.

  • - No one, tell me about it.

  • - I want to be photographed like a fragile menagerie.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Mama, he's a homo.

  • - Oh, he's gay.

  • He seems not gay.

  • - I know, that's the gag of it.

  • - This doesn't seem gay.

  • Look at, that's my face

  • I want to make while men look at me.

  • (Laughs)

  • That's what she looks like.

  • - When you answer the door, you'll be like this.

  • (Laughs)

  • - This doesn't seem gay.

  • - Does this seem gay?

  • - Oh hi.

  • - Hi.

  • Hello.

  • - What's going on?

  • (Laughs)

  • - You two carry on, I'll be gone in a minute.

  • - [Trixie] Does this mean you're not gonna (bleep) me?

  • - [Katya] Yeah.

  • - Pleasure to meet you Beth.

  • - Comes back in his pum-pum shorts

  • just to belabor the point.

  • - Where have you been, honey?

  • You do me a favor and hand me a beer on the desk over there?

  • - I'm just going to say this mom is in great shape

  • for a boozer and a piller.

  • - I suppose you've never had beer.

  • - Try it, surly.

  • - Have you ever been at a party

  • and been too twisted and have to go

  • to the bathroom and like, get yourself together?

  • - Are you kidding?

  • - Where you're like, I have to pee

  • and then you get to the bathroom

  • and you look in the mirror

  • and you're like, Mary.

  • - I'm like, oh, this is, okay.

  • We need to hoohoo.

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • Remember when I dyed my hair orange and did acid

  • - You dyed your hair orange and then did acid?

  • - No, drop the acid,

  • immediately dyed my hair orange,

  • - Uh-huh

  • - looked in the mirror when I was tripping,

  • shaved it off, shaved it off.

  • - I was thinking more like go to the bathroom

  • and look at the mirror like.

  • (Laughs)

  • But that's fun too,

  • I like that.

  • - [Trixie] So she's learning Russian

  • because she wants to compete with the best

  • and Russian people are best at everything.

  • - [Katya] Best at everything,

  • besides the Mongolians.

  • - And Kenyans.

  • There's a category of running in the Olympics

  • that the Kenyans have won every year since 1983.

  • - Do you know why it has to do with positive reinforcement?

  • Can-ya!

  • (Laughs)

  • - Can-ya not?

  • (Laughs)

  • - One more time, Beth.

  • (Speaking in Russian)

  • - What are you doing, you know like, right now?

  • - She has friends.

  • - She got friends now and they're smoking wacky weed.

  • Groovy.

  • - Phone's in the bedroom, through the kitchen.

  • - [Trixie] Can you show me where it is?

  • Unhh.

  • - [Trixie] What is she doing?

  • WHAT?

  • Me manifesting a (bleep) every night

  • going ahh.

  • - Oh, it was a penis candle?

  • - Yes it was a (bleep).

  • I know a dick anywhere.

  • - It's little heavy-handed.

  • - Category is straight man writing

  • for the role of a woman.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Yes.

  • (Phone ringing)

  • - Hello?

  • - Hey

  • - Just wanna let you know I'm going to

  • get (bleep)ed down in a minute.

  • - Just be careful what you smoke, honey.

  • - You calling me?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Be careful what you smoke honey.

  • - Try not to do that PCP,

  • It's not always that great.

  • - But she sits right down on that flaming (bleep).

  • It's about to be her first time,

  • they're having the sacrificial tomato soup beforehand.

  • - What's that burning purple thing there?

  • - You tell me.

  • (Moaning)

  • - So Beth is on her way to Mexico city

  • where she's going to have her first big failure.

  • - Oh, she lost.

  • She's never lost before.

  • - She is plucked.

  • - I'm so glad you didn't see it.

  • - It's her mom.

  • - The mom is dead!

  • Spoiler alert, the mom is dead.

  • - Look

  • - Oh no.

  • Listen, you play stupid games,

  • you win stupid prizes.

  • I know that's not compassionate but.

  • - Stupid game being, having a mom?

  • - No!

  • The throws of drug and alcohol.

  • (Laughing)

  • All right, so Beth is beating the best

  • and she gets an offer to learn tricks.

  • She's playing Freddy Krueger.

  • - What's in Moscow?

  • - [Katya] Russia.

  • - The Moscow invitational.

  • Well you'll need a good trainer.

  • - Who'd you have in mind?

  • - Meryl Streep.

  • (Laughs)

  • - What are you going to do instead huh? Get drunk?

  • - Now that you mention it, yeah.

  • - [Katya] I'm a bad girl.

  • - We'll leave from here, I'll drive us.

  • Oh, and about sex, forget it.

  • - She wanted to (bleep) him and he said,

  • I'm not (bleep)ing you.

  • Have you seen your bangs?

  • (Laughs)

  • (Soft music)

  • - [Trixie] Whoa.

  • - [Katya] Yeah.

  • - [Trixie] She beat all of them, Wow.

  • It all leads to her playing chess

  • against this champion, Borgov,

  • and the night before she got a little turnt up

  • and so now, she's late.

  • Can you play chess hungover?

  • - I mean, she's trying to.

  • Ugh.

  • - This is crazy.

  • Chess is crazy.

  • - Wah wah wah.

  • Unhh.

  • Is she (bleep)ed again? No!

  • She lost again.

  • She's realizing it.

  • - I resign.

  • - The thing about chess is

  • I have a hard time not getting board.

  • - Oh.

  • - Chessboard.

  • (Laughing)

  • I will say it's the Queen's Gambit.

  • Our version, the drag queen's gambit.

  • - Yeah

  • - It's two homosexuals in wigs

  • trying to learn how to play chess.

  • We both start naked.

  • (Laughs)

  • And then if you, if you lose,

  • you have to cut off skin.

  • - Wait, what is a gambit?

  • Is it like a-

  • - Trap. The queen's trap.

  • - It's like The Parent Trap.

  • - Oh yeah, she's going to realize that she has a twin.

  • - She's Jamie Lee Curtis.

  • - Yeah.

  • - That's Freaky Friday.

  • All right guys, thanks so much for tuning in.

  • - Jamie Lee Curtis isn't in Freaky Friday.

  • - She could be.

  • - [Trixie] The man who taught her how to play chess

  • passes away.

  • She's going back for his funeral and she finds out

  • that he had all this pride from teaching her.

  • (Gasps)

  • He was a serial killer.

  • (Laughs)

  • Those are all the victims.

  • - The trophies, all the skin trophies.

  • - [Trixie] Aw, he was so proud.

  • - Aw Frederica memo right there.

  • (Laughs)

  • - I don't think my mom has one of these.

  • - Oh, I don't think she does either.

  • - I told her about Blister In The Sun.

  • She said, haven't I seen this?

  • (Laughs)

  • I thought you showed me.

  • Anyway, I tried to make this cake called better than sex,

  • I didn't think it was that good.

  • - Meanwhile, my parents send me certificates

  • for being alive every week.

  • (Laughs)

  • - [Katya] Another seven days, sweetie, you made it.

  • - [Trixie] She's trying to get to Russia

  • and this church wants her to say horrible things

  • about Russia, but she's not going to do it.

  • - Christian Crusade,

  • We'd like you to make your position public.

  • - What position is that?

  • - The spread of communism is also the spread of atheism.

  • - If I was her, I would start doing this two seconds-

  • - Yeah, yeah. Ughh.

  • - We had something prepared,

  • there you go.

  • - I, Beth, think the entire country of Russia

  • is a bunch of (bleep)es.

  • - Flops.

  • - Russia, flops, gutted, bald.

  • - Look, I have no intention of saying anything like this.

  • - Why not?

  • - Because it's (bleep)ing nonsense?

  • - Work.

  • - [Trixie] Put those (bleep)ing (bleep)es in their place.

  • Squad goals.

  • All the gentlemen she has beat are kind of like

  • grouping up to help her train so she can beat Borgov.

  • - Hey

  • - Would you let him?

  • - Oh yeah.

  • Oh yeah.

  • Oh yeah.

  • - Hello?

  • - If he goes for the knight,

  • hit him with a king, rook, pawn.

  • 7:00 AM here,

  • but we've been working on it for three hours.

  • - We?

  • - Hey!

  • - They're all there crunching numbers in the lab for her.

  • - Aw.

  • All right.

  • She's sober, she's focused, she's trained

  • and she is about to be the world champion.

  • Borgov never offers draws.

  • - She said, no, (bleep).

  • He's shook.

  • I hope if he loses, he's like,

  • and like his eyeballs pop and blood explodes.

  • Like blood.

  • Give me the rook.

  • See, I would sit down and I would sit across

  • from this guy and I'd be like.

  • (Laughs)

  • - No, you gotta fake him out, you gotta.

  • (Laughs)

  • - Oh God,

  • you gotta do the-

  • - Checkmate.

  • Is she realizing she's going to win?

  • - It's your game.

  • - Oh, you speak English this whole time. Hm.

  • Aw, respect.

  • - Yeah

  • Love that, this makes me happy too.

  • This show has everything.

  • A woman excelling in a male-dominated sport,

  • - pill popping, booze hounding,

  • - Bangs,

  • - Bangs. Levels.

  • - Fashion,

  • - fashion,

  • - chess,

  • - chess,

  • - Drinking and pills honey!

  • So if you're one of the last people alive like me

  • to see it, go watch it.

  • - The Queen's Gambit on Netflix.

  • - Goodbye.

  • Knight to E4.

- I think this show is made for us.

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拖曳女王Trixie Mattel和Katya對The Queen's Gambit的反應｜我喜歡看｜Netflix - Powered by Discuz! (Drag Queens Trixie Mattel & Katya React to The Queen's Gambit | I Like to Watch | Netflix)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 03 月 06 日
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