WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向JON BATISTE先生問好。JON BATISTE。

HEY, JON, GOOD TOY SOO YOU AGAIN.

嘿，喬恩，好玩具，所以你又來了。

MAN, LAST NIGHT, WE'RE STILL HAVING TO COOL DOWN THE BUILDING

夥計，昨晚我們還得給大樓降溫呢

FROM YOUR PERFORMANCE ON THE SHOW LAST NIGHT.

從你昨晚的表演中，你的表現。

THERE WAS STRUCTURAL DAMAGE.

有結構性的破壞。

THEY HAD TO BRING IN ENGINEERS TO SEE IF THEY COULD SHORE UP

他們必須請來工程師，看看他們是否能撐起一片天

THE ED SULLIVAN.

ED SULLIVAN.

>> Jon: YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT WAS FOUR OF ME.

>> 喬恩。是的，你知道，是我的四個人。

WHEN YOU HAVE FOUR OF ME IT'S A LOT.

當你有四個我的時候，就會有很多。

>> Stephen: LEGALLY YOU CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN FOUR JON BATISTES

>> 史蒂芬: 法律上你不能有四個以上的喬恩-巴蒂斯特。

IN ONE LOCATION.

在一個地方。

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> 喬恩。沒錯。

I GOT FOUR REGISTRATION NUMBERS FOR THAT GIG.

我得到了四個註冊號碼的那場演出。

IT WAS BIG.

它是大的。

THE UNION HAD TO COME IN ON THAT, YOU SEE.

聯合會不得不介入，你知道的。

>> Stephen: IS THERE ANY MUSIC LEFT IN YOUR BODY TODAY, JON?

>> 史蒂芬：今天你身體裡還有音樂嗎，喬恩？

YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO FAVOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WITH?

你可能會喜歡美國人民，用？

>> Jon: YEAH, ALWAYS A LITTLE TASTE IN THIS.

>> 喬恩：是的，總是有一點味道在這。

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A FINE

>> 史蒂芬：你有一個很好的。

WAY TO TREAT A STEINWAY.

如何處理一個STEINWAY。

MR. JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

喬恩-巴蒂斯特先生，各位。JON BATISTE，大家好。

THANK YOU, JON.

謝謝你，喬恩。

>> Jon: LAY IT ON.

>> 喬恩。躺上去。

>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THERE ARE A LOT OF

>> 女士們，先生們，有很多人在這裡。

URGENT CONCERNS FACING AMERICANS RIGHT NOW: WHEN WILL THE

美國人現在面臨的緊迫問題。什麼時候

VACCINATION RATE ALLOW US TO REACH HERD IMMUNITY?

疫苗接種率能讓我們達到牛群免疫力嗎？

HAS SOCIAL MEDIA FLUNG OUR NATION INTO AN EPISTEMOLOGICAL

社會化媒體是否將我們的國家帶入了語言學的漩渦？

CRISIS?

CRISIS？

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SWAMP-BASED TV SHOWS?

為什麼有這麼多以沼澤為基礎的電視節目？

THE ISSUE IS THAT THERE ARE SO MANY BIG ISSUES, THAT SOMETIMES

問題是，有這麼多的大問題，所以有時

YOU LOSE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE ISSUES BECAUSE OF SUCH BIG

你會因為這些大問題而忽略了一些小問題。

ISSUES.

問題：

AND THAT'S AN ISSUE.

這是一個問題。

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY RECURRING SEGMENT, "UH-OH!" WHERE WE

這讓我想到了我的復發部分，"呃，哦！"我們在哪裡

EXAMINE ISSUES THAT, ONCE YOU START THINKING ABOUT, YOU REALLY

審視那些一旦開始思考，你就會發現的問題。

WISH YOU COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT.

希望你不要再去想：

TONIGHT'S "UH-OH," BIG TECH COMPANIES LOVE TO MAKE PROMISES

今晚的 "烏龍"，大科技公司愛做承諾。

IN ORDER TO SUCK UP THOSE SWEET SWEET STATE SUBSIDIES, LIKE THE

為了吸食那些甜甜的國家補助金，如

PROPOSED WISCONSIN FOXCONN PLANT THAT PROMISED 13,000 JOBS, AND

擬建的威斯康星FOXCONN工廠，承諾提供13,000個工作崗位，並。

FOR WHICH "FOXCONN TORE UP A SMALL TOWN," "RAZED HOMES AND

其中，"福克斯康恩撕毀了一個小城鎮"，"夷為平地的房屋和"。

CROPS," AND WAS PROMISED "MORE THAN $4.5 BILLION IN GOVERNMENT

農作物"，並得到了 "超過45億美元的政府承諾"。

INCENTIVES."

獎勵"。

AND TO THIS DAY, THAT PLANT "STILL HASN'T BEEN BUILT."

直到今天，該廠 "仍然沒有建成。"

PLUS, THE FOXCONN C.E.O.

另外，FOXCONN C.E.O.

PROMISED 76 TROMBONES!

承諾的76個軍團!

PLUS, COPPER-BOTTOM TIMPANI IN HORSE PLATOONS AND DOUBLE BELL

另外，銅底TIMPANI馬排和雙鈴鐺。

EUPHONIUMS AND BIG BASSOONS!

EUPHONIUMS和大巴松管!

THAT FELLA'S BEEN A RASPBERRY SEED IN MY WISDOM TOOTH

費拉一直是我的智慧之牙中的一顆紅莓種子。

LONG ENOUGH!

足夠長的時間！

PLUS, NOW TECH COMPANIES HAVE REALIZED THERE'S A MAJOR

此外，現在科技公司已經意識到有一個重大的。

PROBLEM WITH STRIPPING LOCAL COMMUNITIES FOR THEIR GOLD

剝奪當地社區的黃金資源的問題

FILLINGS AND TAX BASE: THE HASSLE OF HAVING TO LIE FIRST.

填報和稅基：先要撒謊的麻煩。

BUT THERE'S A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM OF ANY PUBLIC

但是，有一個解決任何公共的問題的辦法

ACCOUNTABILITY, BECAUSE IN ORDER TO ATTRACT JOBS AND INVESTMENT,

問責制，因為為了吸引工作和投資；

"A NEW NEVADA BILL WOULD ALLOW TECH COMPANIES TO CREATE THEIR

"新的內華達州法案將允許科技公司創建自己的。

OWN GOVERNMENTS," "ESTABLISHING NEW BUSINESS AREAS WHERE THEY

自己的政府"、"建立新的商業領域，在這些領域中，他們的工作是非常重要的。

CAN FORM SEPARATE LOCAL GOVERNMENTS," WHICH PROVIDE

可以成立單獨的地方政府，"它們提供的是

SERVICES AND IMPOSE TAXES.

服務和徵收稅款。

UH-OH.

呃，哦。

I, FOR ONE, DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN THE PRINCIPALITY OF

就我而言，我不想生活在以下的原則中

"GOOGLETOWN."

"GOOGLETOWN"。

YOU WON'T BE ALLOWED TO BUY GOOGLEMILK AT THE GOOGLEMART

您將不被允許在GOOGLEMILART購買GOOGLEMILK。

UNLESS YOU BUY A GOOGLE GLASS!

除非你買一個谷歌眼鏡!

NO ONE WANTS IT!

沒有人想要它！

STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT GOOGLE HAPPEN!

不要再試圖讓它GOOGLE發生!

NOW, ENCOURAGING INNOVATIVE COMPANIES TO COME TO YOUR STATE

現在，鼓勵創新公司到你的州去。

IS A GOOD THING, BUT NOT IF THEY REPLACE THE STATE.

是一件好事，但如果他們取代了國家，就不是。

AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THIS PROPOSES, WHICH LEADS TO MY

而這正是這個建議，這也導致了我的。

"UH-OH" SUB-SEGMENT: "YIKES!" THESE CORPORATE GOVERNMENTS

"UH-OH "SUB-SEGMENT:"YIKES！"這些企業政府

WOULDN'T EVEN BE SUBJECT TO LOCAL GOVERNMENT.

甚至不會受制於地方政府。

THEY WOULD BE CARVED OUT SEPARATELY AS SO-CALLED

它們將被分別刻畫成所謂的

"INNOVATION ZONES," AND WOULD BE GIVEN THE SAME AUTHORITY AS

"創新區"，並將被賦予與 "創新區 "相同的權力。

COUNTIES.

縣：

YIKES!

YIKES！

WE ALREADY HAVE A WORD FOR MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE WHO HOLD

我們已經有一句話要對宇宙的主宰者說，他們掌握著：

THE SAME POWER AS GOVERNMENTS: IT'S CALLED "FEUDALISM."

和政府一樣的權力。這就是所謂的 "封建主義"。

YOU REALLY WANT TO ESTABLISH A SOCIETY BASED ON THE MIDDLE

你真的想建立一個以中產階級為基礎的社會嗎？

AGES?

年齡？

GOOD LUCK, BECAUSE THE HOSPITAL YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE THE

好運，因為你的醫院不會再有了。

CORPORATE TAXES TO PAY FOR IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE A BUCKET OF

公司稅的支付現在只是一袋錢。

LEECHES.

LEECHES：

SUCKER!

笨蛋！

NOW, YOU MAY BE ASKING, CAN ANYONE WHO OWNS A RADIOSHACK

現在，你可能會問，誰能擁有一個輻射黑客？

FRANCHISE FOUND THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT IN NEVADA?

FRANCHISE在NEVADA成立了自己的政府？

THE ANSWER IS NO, BUT THAT'S SOMEHOW LESS COMFORTING,

答案是 "不"，但這多少讓人不舒服。

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY "YIKES!" SUB-SUB-SEGMENT: "GULP!"

這讓我想到了我的 "YIKES！"子子部分。"GULP！"

ACCORDING TO THE PROPOSED LAW, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO COULD APPLY

根據擬議的法律，只有在下列情況下才可以申請： 1.

FOR AN "INNOVATION ZONE" WOULD NEED TO HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, ACRES

對於 "創新區 "來說，需要有足夠的資金和土地。

UPON ACRES OF UNDEVELOPED LAND, AND AN "INNOVATIVE TECHNOLOGY."

佔地數英畝的未開發土地，和一個 "創新技術"。

GULP!

咕嚕！

THOSE ARE THREE CONDITIONS BETTER KNOWN AS THE BOND VILLAIN

這三種情況更容易被稱為 "邦德惡棍"。

COMBO.

組合：

AND IT'S HAPPENING AS I SPEAK.

我說話的時候，它正在發生。

A COMPANY CALLED BLOCKCHAINS L.L.C. HAS ALREADY COMMITTED TO

一家名為BLOCKCHAINS L.L.C.的公司已經承諾："我們將繼續努力。

BUILDING A "SMART CITY" THAT WILL RUN ON ITS TECHNOLOGY.

打造一個依靠科技運行的 "智能城市"。

GULP!

咕嚕！

BLOCKCHAIN IS WHAT THEY USE FOR CRYPTOCURRENCY, YOU KNOW, THE

區塊鏈是他們用來做加密貨幣的東西，你知道的，就是...

MADE-UP MONEY FOR DRUG LORDS, HIT MEN, AND GUYS ON TINDER WHO

為毒販、殺手和毒販子賺取的錢財

WANT TO EXPLAIN WHAT BLOCKCHAIN IS!

想解釋一下什麼是BLOCKCHAIN!

THIS IS A BAD ROAD TO GO DOWN, FOLKS, BECAUSE IF WE START

這是條不好的路，夥計們，因為如果我們開始。

HANDING OVER OUR INDEPENDENT GOVERNMENT TO THE INTERESTS OF

把我們的獨立政府交給利益相關者

PRIVATE INDUSTRY JUST FOR JOBS AND INVESTMENT, THE NEXT THING

私營企業只為就業和投資，下一個目標。

YOU KNOW, WE'LL BE SPENDING BILLIONS IN PUBLIC FUNDS TO A

你知道嗎，我們將花費數十億的公共資金，以一個。

LEAGUE THAT PAYS NO TAXES FOR FOOTBALL STADIUMS THAT IT ONLY

不為足球場館納稅的聯盟，它只有

USES FOR EIGHT GAMES A YEAR-- WHAT?!!

一年八場比賽的用途--什麼？

UH-OH!

呃，哦！

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF "WANDAVISION," PAUL BETTANY.

我們馬上就會回到 "WANDAVISION "的明星，保羅-貝塔尼。

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