Uh, you have really made a name for yourself.

呃，你還真是出了名的。

You're very well respected comedic performer and a very funny and and and agile mind.

你是非常受人尊敬的喜劇演員，也是一個非常有趣和和敏捷的頭腦。

Yet I find this tragic when you search your name on audible and you've done you know, you're a big you're a big name.

然而我覺得這很悲劇，當你在audible上搜索你的名字，你已經做了你知道，你是個大你是個大人物。

When you search your name inaudible.

當你搜索你的名字聽不清。

Only porn comes up only porn.

只有色情片出現只有色情片。

Yeah.

是啊。

Look at this.

看看這個

This is right here.

就在這裡

We have older slut, banged hard.

我們有年長的騷貨，被狠狠地撞了一下。

Um, hard as it gets, This has to do with your last name.

嗯，很難，因為它得到， 這有做你的姓氏。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

Yeah.

是啊。

I mean, I think I think maybe the first time we met we we got a good laugh out of the fact that my last name does spell out the words Get hard.

我的意思是，我想我想也許我們第一次見面的時候... ...我們... ...我們得到了一個很好的笑聲出來的事實，我的姓確實拼出了單詞Get hard。

That's just a true sad fact about my life.

這只是我生活中的一個真實的悲哀事實。

So when you search my name inaudible Yeah, the number one search result is older.

所以，當你搜索我的名字聽不清 是的，第一搜索結果是老。

Slut gets banged hard because get and harder both in there.

蕩婦被狠狠地撞了一下，因為得到和更硬都在那裡。

But the thing that makes me really sad because I've been hearing that joke since middle school.

但讓我非常難過的是，因為我從國中開始就一直聽著這個笑話。

Yeah, I can get used to that thing that makes me really sad is I've written three books and that.

是啊，我可以習慣那件事，讓我真的很傷心的是我已經寫了三本書，那。

Like, I wish that was at least number four.

就像，我希望那至少是四號。

You know, I wish older slut gets banged hard came in after my actual written works.

你知道嗎，我希望老騷貨被狠狠幹在我真正的文字作品之後。

I don't even think I'm in the top five of books that come up when you search together.

我覺得我都不在一起搜索時出現的書的前五名。

It's all pornography, right?

都是色情片吧？

It does occur to me that if you did porn, your name would be at the top.

我確實想到了，如果你拍色情片，你的名字會排在最前面。

Talk about a cash cow right there.

談到現金牛就在那裡。

Because your name is get hard, and then you could put get hard in the title.

因為你的名字叫 "變硬"，然後你就可以把 "變硬 "放在標題裡。

And, you know, I bet there's tons of people watching right now looking at this going, Yeah, let's make that happen.

而且，你知道，我敢打賭，有噸的人看 現在看著這個去，是啊，讓我們做到這一點。

I really want this guy to segue into a pornography career.

我真想讓這傢伙轉入色情業。

Don't put it down.

不要把它放下。

I'm Listen, Chris.

我聽著，克里斯。

I am also pigment challenged.

我也有色素障礙。

I'm a very pale, sickly person.

我是一個很蒼白、病態的人。

I tried it like in the eighties for a year or two and, uh, didn't go well, but it didn't go horribly.

我在80年代試過一兩年，呃，不順利，但也不可怕。

Is there any parody porn about you?

有沒有關於你的模仿色情片？

That's a big thing.

這是一件大事。

Parody Porn, right?

模仿色情片，對吧？

Uh, yeah.

嗯，是的。

I don't know that there is.

我不知道有沒有。

I mean, let's put that out there again.

我的意思是，讓我們再次把它放在那裡。

To the to the viewers.

對觀眾來說。

If if anyone out there knows of any Conan with Bonin Moanin, um, you know, Please don't make me do the work for you.

如果有誰知道任何柯南與Bonin Moanin，嗯，你知道，請不要讓我為你做工作。

Let's just find if it's out there because I want my cut Talk about teaching they only a piece.

讓我們來看看，如果它在那裡，因為我想我的切談教他們只有一塊。

You know, if not if they find some super tall redhead guy who looks like you and they give him a sidekick.

你知道，如果他們找到一些超級高大的紅頭髮的傢伙 誰看起來像你，他們給他一個助手。

And they named the sidekick like Brandy Victor.

他們給小夥伴起了個像白蘭地維克多的名字。

And then they started that.

然後他們就開始了。

That that would be That would be amazing.

這將是 這將是驚人的。

Would you want Would you watch it?

你想看嗎？

Yes, I would.

是的，我會的。

Yes, I would.

是的，我會的。

I would watch it repeatedly.

我會反覆看。

I'd watch it long after.

我看了很久。

Um, people could even think that it was I was doing it.

嗯，人們甚至可以認為是我在做。

Ironically, they would just become clear that I was addicted to that Pornography.

諷刺的是，他們只會清楚地知道，我對那本《色情小說》上癮了。