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  • You guys, right now it's time for "Tonight Show Hashtag".

    各位現在是我們「Tonight Show 主題標籤」的時間。 (註:Hashtag 是各個社群媒體,在#之後加上關鍵字的主題標籤)

  • Let's check it out.

    我們來看看。

  • Hashtag

    (主題標籤 主題標籤)

  • You guys are on Twitter, right?

    你們有在用推特對吧?

  • It's fun, we use Twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along.

    這超好玩的,我們每個星期都會用推特,所以假如你在看節目然後想要跟我們一起玩的話。

  • We do this thing every Wednesday where I send out a hashtag.

    我們每個星期三都會玩這個,我會公布一個主題標籤。

  • And we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic.

    然後我會請你們發布一則貼文,根據我所公布的主題。

  • So, because the season finale of The Bachelor is coming up, I went on Twitter and started a hashtag, called "hashtag awkward break up".

    因為「單身漢」本季的最終章準備要上演了 (註:The Bachelor 美國真人實境的約會節目),所以我決定在推特開始標籤,標籤「超怪分手」。

  • I asked you guys to tweet out a funny or awkward breakup story that happened to you or someone you know.

    我請你們發表一則好笑或是怪異的分手故事,無論是發生在自己身上或是你認識的其他人身上。

  • We got thousands of Tweets.

    我們收到上千則推特貼文。

  • I mean a lot of people have great stories.

    我的意思是,很多人都有很棒的故事。

  • In fact, within an half-hour, it was a worldwide trending topic.

    事實上,在半個小時之中這變成全球風靡的話題。

  • So, thank you for those Tweets.

    所以感謝你們的貼文。

  • I appreciate it.

    我誠心感謝。

  • They're all awkward.

    它們都很怪。

  • Breaking up is the worst, it's just nothing good about it.

    分手真的不好受,也沒有什麼好事可以說。

  • But then, when it's awkward that's the funny part of it.

    但當它很奇怪的時候,那就是好笑的部分。

  • That's what makes me laugh.

    那就是讓我發笑的點。

  • So now, I thought I would share some of my favorite awkward breakup Tweets from you guys.

    所以現在,我想跟你們分享一些我最喜歡的貼文。

  • Here we go.

    我們開始吧。

  • This first ones from MikeFeeneyPXP.

    這則來自 MikeFeeneyPXP。

  • He says, She emailed it was over.

    他說: 她 email 說一切結束了。

  • Waited.

    等了一會。

  • Got impatient.

    等到不耐煩。

  • Called me and said, "You should check your email"!

    打給我,然後說「你應該去檢查你的 Email」!

  • Then hung up.

    之後就掛電話了。

  • God!

    天呀!

  • That's cold.

    這真是冰冷!

  • Yeah, cold-blooded.

    對呀!冷血。

  • Cold-blooded, man.

    冷血呀!

  • Cold-blooded.

    冷血

  • This ones from Ang4ND1.

    這則來自 Ang4ND1。

  • She says,"I broke up with my boyfriend, but he was so drunk that he forgot and showed up to hang out the next day, so I had to break up with him again".

    她說:「我跟我的男友分手但他喝醉到全忘了,當他第一天出現準備出去晃晃時,我只好再跟他分手一次」。

  • It's like, he made me do it twice!

    這就像是說 「你讓我做了兩次」!!

  • It over, again.

    一切都「再次」結束了!

  • Yeah, you're good at it now.

    是呀,那你現在肯定很在行。

  • This one is awesome.

    這個太屌了。

  • This one's from ryanmarbles.

    這則來自 ryanmarbles。

  • He says,"My girlfriend dumped me while I was paying for a pizza, and the delivery guy felt so bad that he gave me a hug".

    他說:「我女友在我付 pizza 錢的時候甩了我,送餐員難過到給了我一個擁抱。」

  • Hugs on the house, buddy.

    老兄, 擁抱免費,我請客!

  • Get over here, come on bring it.

    過來吧,盡量哭吧!

  • Is that a bread stick in your pocket, or you're happy to see me?

    在你口袋中的是麵包棍,還是你高興見到我? (註:Mae West 梅·蕙絲的經典台詞。Mae West 是黑白電視時代的美國演員,以黃色雙關語最為熟知。這邊的意思,就是男子抱到送餐員時,感受到不該感受到的東西。)

  • No way!

    才不是!

  • This one's from jameskorkie.

    這則來自 jameskorkie。

  • He says,"I once had a girl break up with me in the jeans aisle of Marshalls".

    他說:「有一個女孩曾經在出清百貨的牛仔褲專區跟我分手」。(註:Marshalls是美國著名的購物商場,主要販賣過季的品牌商品,但絕對不是分手的好場所)

  • Oh, that's good.

    喔,這個蠻屌的。

  • That was awkward.

    這超怪的。

  • Bastard, why can't you think you can wait.

    可惡,你為什麼不能多等一會?

  • No.

    等不住。

  • I can't do it, I can't wait any longer.

    我做不到,我等不下去了。

  • Jeans aisle of Marshalls.

    出清百貨的牛仔褲專區。

  • This one's weird.

    這則超怪。

  • This one's from hannah_eve.

    這則來自 hannah_eve。

  • She says,"After the breakup, he said he was finished dating, and wanted to live his life alone like his great aunt did".

    她說:「分手之後,他說他受夠約會了,他決定要跟自己的大姑媽一樣過獨居的生活」。

  • What?

    這啥?

  • Weird people, man!

    怪人!

  • My great aunt Edna, she lived alone for thirty years of Manse on the hill.

    我的大姑媽 Edna,他在山上的修道院住了三十年。

  • She had the best life ever.

    他擁有全世界最美好的生活。

  • Yeah.

    是呀。

  • She would go up and down the stairs, like.......

    她會像這樣上下階梯......。(註:美國獨居老人常常會在家中加裝上下樓梯的電動座椅)

  • She had three thousand cats.

    她有三千隻貓。 (註:美國人對於獨居老人的印象就是養了很多寵物)

  • Facs of National Geography says "Aye" at your head.

    國家地理頻道的工作人員看到她還要敬禮。 (註:fac 是 faculty,就是工作人員的意思)

  • We found her corpse.

    我們找她的屍體了。 (註:獨居老人常常音訊全無,所以死了也不知道)

  • She was clutching the remote control.

    他手裡還拿著遙控器。

  • We haven't heard from her for two years.

    我們已經兩年沒有跟她聯絡了。

  • By the time you showed up, there's a house full of thousands of fat cats.

    當你到了房子的時候,就會看到一屋子上千隻的肥貓。 (註:fat cats除了指吃的肥胖的貓外,也帶有暗諷華爾街肥貓的意思,意指專撈別人的油水,自己卻遊手好閒)

  • I won't describe the rest.

    其他的我不說了。

  • One of them, merda, opened the fridge.

    有一隻,瑪達,打開了冰箱。

  • Unbelieving everything that cats can do that.

    完全不敢相信貓會做這種事。

  • Made of casserole, the mustard was spectacular.

    用砂鍋悶的那個芥末,風味真的棒極了。

  • [Indistinct]

    [聲音模糊]

  • There I was sitting with a bunch of cats.

    我就坐在那裏跟一群貓。

  • Someone should make a painting of that.

    有人真該為我們畫一張圖。

  • Then they played poker.

    之後他們就玩撲克牌。

  • Then we played poker with dogs.

    然後我們就跟狗玩撲克牌。

  • Anyway, I want to live like her.

    總之,我就是想跟她活的一樣。

  • I've worn their skins for years.

    我穿了他們的皮毛好幾年了。

  • Oh, alright.

    噢, 好了。

  • This one's from YoussefOujdad.

    這則來自 YoussefOujdad。

  • He says,"I broke up with my high school girlfriend using an excel chart to illustrate the downward trend of our relationship."

    他說:「我跟我的高中女友分手,用一張 Excel 圖表描繪我們向下墜落的情感」。

  • You notice here, there's a sharp decline of snuggles.

    你可以看到,在這裡我們依偎的次數有明顯的遞減。

  • In the month of June, we didn't snuggle at all.

    在六月,我們完全沒有依偎。

  • Your comments grow how I love them.

    你的評論讓我更愛這些貼文了!

  • This one's from AmyKimiko.

    這則來自 AmyKimiko。

  • She says,"A guy broke up with me and his final words were, 'This relationship is terminated'".

    她說:「有一個男生跟我分手,他最後的言語是『這段感情終結了!』」 。(註:電影梗,阿諾所主演的魔鬼終結者 (The Terminator) 有一句經典台詞,就是 "You are terminated")

  • He won't be back.

    他不會再回來了! (註:魔鬼終結者的片尾都會說 "I'll be back",這邊主持人刻意說"He won't be back")

  • This one's from JordanPhillie.

    這則來自 JordanPhillie。

  • He says,"I had a terrible cold when my girlfriend broke up with me. When she said, 'I want to see other people,' I accidentally sneezed in her face".

    他說:「我女友跟我分手時,我剛好重感冒,當她說『我想跟別人約會』時,我不小心在她臉上打了個噴嚏」。

  • There you have it.

    就如你們看到的。

  • This is the "Tonight Show Hashtag".

    這就是「Tonight Show 主題標籤」。

  • Check out more of our favorite quotes on TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS.

    你可以在 TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS 看看其他我們喜歡的貼文。

  • Or some of you might be downloading our new Tonight Show App available on iTunes, and for Android.

    或是有些人已經下載了我們全新的 Tonight Show App 在 iTunes。

You guys, right now it's time for "Tonight Show Hashtag".

各位現在是我們「Tonight Show 主題標籤」的時間。 (註:Hashtag 是各個社群媒體,在#之後加上關鍵字的主題標籤)

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【吉米秀】超強分手八招 (Jimmy Fallon: Tonight Show Hashtags: #AwkwardBreakup)

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    Colin Lin 發佈於 2018 年 02 月 21 日
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