- This sale should be easy.

- 這個銷售應該很容易。

Tanner, we're not peddling manures to the Vatican,

坦納，我們不是向梵蒂岡兜售糞便。

we're selling medicine to sick people.

我們在賣藥給病人。

Put China on the line.

把中國的線。

(speaks in foreign language)

(講外語)

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

Am I in the wrong house?

我是不是走錯門了？

(speaks in foreign language)

(講外語)

(music)

(音樂)

(Door knock)

（敲門）

- Hey Blark,

- 嘿，布拉克

I was wondering if I could borrow some bedding

我在想能不能借我一些床上用品？

for a house guest I'm expecting.

為我期待的一個客人。

I'd use mine, but (giggles)

我想用我的，但（傻笑）。

I had to sell them,

我不得不賣掉它們。

for food to eat,

為吃的食物。

to live.

生活。

- Sure. Do you need them now?

- 當然，你現在需要嗎？

Cause I sorta got a bird in my nest,

因為我的窩裡有一隻鳥。

if you know what I mean.

如果你知道我的意思。

- Blark, the romantic.

- 布拉克，浪漫的。

Ooh, la la.

哦，啦啦。

I do. I really, really do.

我真的很想。我真的，真的做。

Oh, thanks a ton.

哦，謝謝一噸。

I promise I won't get in the way of your, holy (beep)

我保證我不會妨礙你的，神聖的（嗶嗶聲）。

that's my mom!

那是我媽媽！

(music)

(音樂)

Blark, this is my mom, Frankie,

布拉克，這是我的媽媽，弗蘭基。

Mom, this is

媽媽，這是

- Blark.

- 布拉克。

I'm familiar.

我很熟悉。

I only needed to hear two words under this man's mouth

我只要聽到這個人嘴下的兩個字就可以了

to know he served our country,

知道他為我們的國家服務。

he's good with his hands

身手矯健

and has more life stories

並有更多的人生故事

and a God damn immortal.

和一個神仙。

- And I only needed to hear that you're Stacey's mom

- 我只需要知道你是史黛西的媽媽就夠了。

wants to know that you're his mom.

想知道你是他的媽媽。

- Okay. Well mom, I asked you to visit so we could talk.

- 好吧，媽媽，我叫你來是為了讓我們談談。好吧，媽媽，我問你參觀 所以我們可以談談。

So can we go?

那我們可以走了嗎？

- You have an extra bedroom stud muffin.

- 你有一個額外的臥室螺柱鬆餅。

- I have a son's room.

- 我有一個兒子的房間。

He had sleep away space camp with a junior.

他和一個小輩一起睡過太空營。

- Perfect.

- 完美的。

Stacey, no offense,

史黛西，我無意冒犯。

but I prefer to stay in a home with a working heater.

但我更喜歡呆在有暖氣的家裡。

So Blark, I'm in your room.

所以，布拉克，我在你的房間裡。

You'll take the living room.

你要去客廳。

Stacey, you'll be in son's room.

斯泰西，你會在兒子的房間裡。

Also, whatever you're cooking smells like deep space evil

還有，不管你做的是什麼，都有一股深空惡魔的味道。

and it's drawing my contacts out.

而且它吸引了我的聯繫人。

- It's my signature soup, soup.

- 這是我的招牌湯，湯。

I make every batch by can.

我每一批都是用罐頭做的。

- Don't care.

- 不在乎。

My assistant already ordered vetoes,

我的助手已經下令否決了。

it'll be here at 7:00 PM exactly.

它將在這裡在晚上7: 00準確。

That means soup's gone,

這意味著湯的消失。

table set by 6:45.

6: 45之前擺好桌子。

We'll eat Italian

我們要吃意大利菜

and talk softly.

並輕言細語。

That work for everyone?

這對大家都有用嗎？

- No, I am not staying in son's room

- 不，我不會住在兒子的房間裡。

for more than a night.

一夜以上。

- Great.

- 厲害

You, get my luggage from the car

你，把我的行李從車上拿下來

and organize my clothes in your closet

把我的衣服放在你的衣櫃裡

from black to jet black.

從黑色到噴黑。

- Get out of the way.

- 讓路吧

(panting)

（氣喘吁吁）

(door bang)

（門砰）

- Great to see you, honey.

- 很高興見到你，親愛的。

- Oh.

- 哦。

(music)

(音樂)

- Ah.

- 啊。

- Blark, No.

- 布拉克，沒有。

Don't tell me

別跟我說

because you slightly picked my mother's interest

因為你稍微挑起了我媽媽的興趣

that you think I'm your son now.

你以為我現在是你的兒子。

I am not playing this game with you.

我不跟你玩這個遊戲。

You can call me Stacey

你可以叫我Stacey

and we can have a civilized conversation.

我們可以有一個文明的對話。

I will not answer to son.

我不會回答兒子。

- Son!

- 兒子！

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

(beep)

（嗶嗶聲）

- Fine. What do you want from me?

- 好吧，你想從我這裡得到什麼？你想從我這裡得到什麼？

- Stacey, now that I'm your pappy,

- 斯泰西，現在我是你爸爸了。

I think it's time we do some father, son bonding activities.

我想是時候我們做一些父子親情活動了。

- This is, this is hell.

- 這就是，這就是地獄。

- We only have two options.

- 我們只有兩個選擇。

One, we scream break a wine glass in the garage together

一、我們一起在車庫裡尖叫著打碎一個酒杯。

or two, we egg our geeky neighbors, Stacey's house, huh.

或兩個，我們雞蛋我們的怪胎鄰居，斯泰西的房子，呵呵。

- Shouldn't you be with your new, huh, girlfriend?

- 你不是應該和你的新女友在一起嗎？

- Well, there's no question,

- 嗯，沒有問題。

your mother and I go together like a shrimp Po'boy

你媽媽和我在一起就像蝦寶一樣

in a Louisiana sunset

在路易斯安那州的夕陽下

but since she's got here,

但既然她已經到了這裡，

it's been all business and no Blark.

它一直是所有的業務，沒有Blark。

I'm starting to think she doesn't even like me.

我開始覺得她根本不喜歡我。

- Blark, Blark.

- 布拉克，布拉克。

My mother thinks I called her here to ask for money.

我媽媽以為我打電話給她是來要錢的。

So she's using you to ignore me

所以她利用你不理我了

so she doesn't have to face the reality

這樣她就不用面對現實了。

of having to bail me out again

又要保釋我

and sadly, it's not even the reason I called her here.

可悲的是，這甚至不是我叫她來的原因。

I wanted to tell her that,

我想告訴她。

(music)

(音樂)

nevermind.

不記得了

We just don't get along.

我們就是合不來

- You know I once brokered a peace treaty in 1957,

- 你知道我曾經在1957年促成了一個和平條約。

between two warring street gangs,

兩個交戰的街頭幫派之間。

the Jets who were white Americans

美國白人的噴氣機隊

and the sharks who were were to Puerto Rican Americans.

和鯊魚誰是波多黎各美國人。

I can do the same for you.

我可以為你做同樣的事情。

- That's West side story.

- 那是西邊的故事。

- That West side story is my real life, life.

- 那個西邊的故事是我真實的生活，人生。

- Blark, I'm not son. You can't just.

- 布拉克，我不是兒子。你不能只是。

- You are my boy.

- 你是我的孩子。

I'm gonna patch up your she-dad relationship,

我要把你們的 "她爸 "關係搞好。

just like I did in 1933 with that cherry haired orphan

就像我在1933年和那個櫻桃小丸子一樣

and her billionaire bald dad.

和她的億萬富翁光頭爸爸。

- That's Annie the musical.

- 那是音樂劇《安妮》

(laughs)

（笑）

♪ It's a hard knock life, for Blark. ♪

對布拉克來說，這是個艱難的生活。

♪ It's a hard knock life, for Blark. ♪

對布拉克來說，這是個艱難的生活。

(sighs)

（嘆氣）

(laughs)

（笑）

- You Swanson's are a riot,

- 你們斯旺森家是個暴亂的地方。

that's why I took the time to create this piece of art

這就是為什麼我花時間來創作這幅作品的原因。

to capture your bubbly love for one another.

來捕捉你們之間的氣泡式愛情。

- We look miserable.

- 我們看起來很悲慘。

Also, when did you even capture this?

還有，你什麼時候拍到的？

- Oh, well I actually don't know.

- 哦，其實我也不知道。

- He's trying to do something nice, Mom.

- 他想做一些好事，媽媽。

No need to grill him.

沒必要烤他。

Although I will say,

雖然我想說。

the heart shaped frame was a bad choice.

心形的框架是一個錯誤的選擇。

- I mean we're all in it

- 我的意思是，我們都在其中

and I don't even own a printer.

我甚至沒有打印機。

- Kinda like the choice

- 有點像選擇

to shut down your psychiatric practice

關閉你的精神科診所

to write a pop finance book that bombed.

寫一本爆款金融書，炸了。

- Mom, that's not fair.

- 媽媽，這不公平。

- Guys, seriously.

- 夥計們，說真的。

I think there's a Phantom photographer loose in my house.

我想我家有一個Phantom攝影師在逃。

- What's not fair,

- 有什麼不公平的。

is you having to keep calling Mommy for money.

是你一直給媽媽打電話要錢。

Let me guess,

讓我猜猜看

another book you've written went down in flames.

你寫的另一本書被燒燬了。

- Mom, (laughs)

- 媽媽，（笑）

Can we not do this?

我們能不能不這樣做？

- Okay. What's really baking my noodle?

- 好吧，我知道了我的麵條到底是怎麼烤的？

Is how in the hell was this photo taken?

這張照片到底是怎麼拍的？

- Stacey, let's cut to the chase.

- 史黛西，我們直接進入正題吧。

I'm done giving you money

我不會再給你錢了

but I'll make you an offer.

但我可以給你開個價

- Mom.

- 媽

- Pack up the pants,

- 收拾好褲子。

move back East

東遷

and help run the business with me

和我一起經營

and your baby sister, Greg.

和你的小妹妹，格雷格。

- I don't, I actually wanted to tell you,

- 我不知道，其實我想告訴你。

- Stacey, this is my final offer.

- 斯泰西，這是我最後的報價。

- No, mom.

- 不，媽媽。

I'm not some (beep) client you can make offers to.

我不是你能提供的某個（嗶嗶聲）客戶。

I have, I have spent my whole life

我有，我花了我的一生

trying to do what you wanted.

試圖做你想要的。

I-I, I wanna write novels.

我--我，我想寫小說。

- You wrote a book.

- 你寫了一本書。

- No, I wrote a pop finance book.

- 不，我寫了一本流行金融書。

You wanted me to write

你要我寫

because you thought there was a market for it,

因為你認為它有市場。

but I am done living my life by your standards.

但我已經不再按照你的標準來生活了。

I want to write fiction, fantasy, goblins, wizards, dragons,

我想寫小說，幻想，妖精，巫師，龍。

magical, mythical mayhem

魔幻混亂

but every time I'd start,

但每次我都會開始。

I have your voice in the back of my head

我腦海裡有你的聲音。

yapping about how it's not a viable option.

嚷嚷著說這不是一個可行的選擇。

Well I've got bad news to you Mommy,

好吧，我有一個壞消息要告訴你，媽媽。

it is a viable option

是一個可行的選擇

because I am an artist!

因為我是一個藝術家！

Yes, your worst nightmare, mom

是的，你最可怕的噩夢，媽媽

and artsy, fartsy, struggling, sensitive, loser artist.

和藝術的、屁顛屁顛的、奮鬥的、敏感的、屌絲藝術家。

- Oh.

- 哦。

(sighs)

（嘆氣）

- I'm leaving.

- 我要走了

- Hey, this baby bird just fell from the nest.

- 嘿，這隻小鳥剛從巢裡掉下來。

He needs his mama bird.

他需要他的媽媽鳥。

Now, I don't know about you

現在，我不知道你

but my nest is a safe space for all sons

但我的巢穴是所有兒子的安全空間。

and I'd like to keep it that way.

我想保持這種方式。

Although this paparazzi Poltergeist is a legitimate concern.

雖然這個狗仔隊的波爾塔斯是一個合理的關注。

- [Ghost] A little to the left.

- 往左一點

- Oh, Stacey.

- 哦，斯泰西。

You are obnoxious, selfish, narcissistic,

你是討厭的，自私的，自戀的。

probably an alcoholic and your own worst enemy.

可能是一個酒鬼和你自己最大的敵人。

- I appreciate you adding probably before alcoholic.

- 我很感激你在酒鬼之前加上了大概。

- But Blark is right, you are my son

- 但布拉克說的沒錯，你是我的兒子

and I should support you,

而我應該支持你。

that's why I came,

這就是為什麼我來到這裡。

that's why I always come.

這就是為什麼我總是來。

Now, I don't understand goblins and wizards

現在，我不懂妖精和巫師了

but I'll try.

但我會努力的

We'll go back to your place

我們會去你的地方

and you'll tell me everything that's going on with you.

你會告訴我你的一切。

But before that, Blark,

但在此之前，布拉克。

you assertive, loving,

你自信的，愛的。

sensitive Falcon,

敏感的獵鷹。

that was the God damn sexiest thing

那是他媽的最性感的事情

anybody's ever done to me.

任何人都曾經對我做過。

And you are wearing far too many clothes right now.

而且你現在穿的衣服太多了。

Take a hot shower,

洗個熱水澡。

put on an early eighties funk record

灌製八十年代初的放克唱片。

and meet me in your room in six and a half minutes.

六分半鐘後在你的房間見我。

Also, the blazer stays on, boys.

還有，西裝外套要穿在身上，男生。

(music)

(音樂)

- Blark, that was such a breakthrough.

- 布拉克，就是這樣一個突破口。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

- Stacey, listen,

- 斯泰西，聽著。

Frankie is a vicious otherworldly miniature of a woman

弗蘭基是一個惡毒的異界女人的縮影。

and I am very scared of her

我很怕她

but that doesn't mean I won't stand up

但這並不意味著我不會站出來。

and face the heat for you.

併為你面對高溫。

We're family.

我們是一家人

That being said,

話說回來。

I'm gonna go (beep) your mom.

我要去（嗶）你媽。

(music)

(音樂)

(chattering)

（喋喋不休）

(music)

(音樂)