I don't know if you like the dish or not.

不知道你喜不喜歡這道菜。

- You don't know if I like the dish or not?

- 你不知道我到底喜不喜歡這道菜？

Well, let's put it this way.

好吧，讓我們這樣說吧。

Pack your (bleep) knives.

收拾好你的（嗶）刀。

Get out, you're off the show.

滾出去，你就別再表演了。

(upbeat music) (vocalizing)

(歡快的音樂) (發聲)

♪ I gotta say ♪

我得說

♪ I want you ♪

我想你

♪ But I don't need you ♪

但我不需要你

- [Announcer] Today, on Judge Jessie.

- 今天, 關於傑西法官.

Judge Jessie turns up the heat.

傑西法官把事情鬧大了。

- You signed a pice of paper, he gave you the snake,

- 你簽了一張紙，他給了你一條蛇。

then you bring a snake into the home

然後你把一條蛇帶進家門

with two small chihuahuas.

有兩隻小吉娃娃。

- I had not been made aware

- 我還不知道

that the snake would get rid of its skin

蛇會脫皮。

and then the sprinklers came down

然後灑水車就下來了

with the snake skin, ruined my carpet.

蛇皮，毀了我的地毯。

- [Judge] What set off the sprinklers?

- [法官]是什麼觸發了灑水器？

- Unrelated popcorn fire, your honor.

- 無關的爆米花火，法官大人。

- [Announcer] Judge Jessie.

- 傑西法官.

As a police officer,

作為一名警察。

he defended the streets.

他保衛了街道。

As a trial lawyer.

作為一名審判律師。

- Objection!

- 反對！

- He fought for the truth.

- 他為真理而戰。

As a black belt.

作為一個黑帶。

(shouting)

（喊）

He mastered discipline.

他掌握了紀律。

As a carpenter.

作為一個木匠。

He learned the value of craftsmanship.

他學會了工匠精神的價值。

As a surgeon, he mastered a cool head.

作為一名外科醫生，他掌握了一個冷靜的頭腦。

As a crack ho,

作為一個裂縫豪。

(spitting)

（吐痰）

he learned to go days without sleep.

他學會了幾天不睡覺。

And as an announcer,

而作為一個播音員。

he does the voiceover on this show.

他是這個節目的配音員

Coming up on Judge Jessie.

即將到來的傑西法官。

Mr. Simmons, before you speak,

西蒙斯先生，在你說話之前，

I know from experience, that the police

我從經驗中知道，警察

have completely mishandled your case

案子辦砸了

and there's legal precedent for you to win

而且你贏了也有法律先例。

and any good defense attorney would of told you that.

任何一個好的辯護律師都會告訴你這一點。

I also know that obviously the place

我也知道，顯然這個地方

where you hurt your back

傷筋動骨

wasn't structurally up to code, Mr. Oyama

小山先生說："結構上不符合規定。

and furthermore, as a sensei,

此外，作為一個老師。

you should know a man of his skill set

識時務者為俊傑

cannot do a makiage.

不能做makiage。

You should know that.

你應該知道的。

Obviously, I can tell by looking at your alignment,

很明顯，我看你的走位就知道了。

that you've herniated a disc,

你的椎間盤突出。

someplace in your L4, your L5.

某個地方在你的L4，你的L5。

I'm finding for the plaintiff.

我認為原告勝訴。

Not $2,500.

不是2500元

$2,700, Mr. Oyama.

2,700美元，小山先生。

- Thank you, your honor.

- 謝謝你 閣下

- You're quite welcome.

- 不客氣

- [Announcer] Judge Jessie.

- 傑西法官.

- Dusty, can I suck your (bleep)?

- 塵土飛揚，我可以吸你的（嗶）嗎？

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- [Announcer] We met b-boy, Joesph, in Atlanta, GA.

- 我們在佐治亞州亞特蘭大市遇到了B-boy, Joesph.

- Hi, Joesph.

- 嗨，喬瑟夫

- What's up?

- 怎麼了？

- Start the music.

- 開始播放音樂。

(electronic dance music)

(電子舞曲)

- Has he started yet?

- 他開始了嗎？

- I'm pretty sure this is it.

- 我很確定就是這個。

(electronic dance music)

(電子舞曲)

Thank you.

謝謝你了

- Yeah, thank you.

- 是的，謝謝你。

- I aint done yet, though.

- 但我還沒做完

- Thank you, Joesph.

- 謝謝你，喬瑟夫

It's definitely a no for me.

這對我來說絕對是不可能的。

- It's a no.

- 這是一個不。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

- No.

- 不知道

- All right.

- 好吧，我知道了

Thank you, Joesph.

謝謝你，喬瑟夫

- Thank you.

- 謝謝你了

- 'Cause, you know I aint got no formal training

- "因為，你知道我沒有受過正規訓練

or nothing like that.

或者沒有這樣的事情。

I learned on the streets.

我在街上學的。

- That was very apparent,

- 這一點非常明顯。

as it turns out, Joesph.

原來，喬瑟夫。

So, thank you for coming.

所以，謝謝你的到來。

- You know that my momma's on drugs

- 你知道我媽媽在吸毒嗎？

and my daddy in jail?

而我爸爸在監獄裡？

- It's not, not really relevant.

- 這不是，沒有什麼關係。

- Born in coffee can under a bridge?

- 生在橋下的咖啡罐裡？

- That's terrible, Joesph.

- 太可怕了，喬瑟夫

That, that's awful.

這，太可怕了。

But it's not going to--

但它不會...

- My sister shot my brother while my cousin beat my uncle?

- 我姐姐槍殺了我弟弟，而表哥卻打了我叔叔？

- Okay, now it's a lie.

- 好吧，現在它是一個謊言。

- It's a little bit much.

- 這有點過了。

Joesph, thank you very much, but--

喬瑟夫，非常感謝你，但是... ...

- Put myself through school by renting my body out

- 我把自己的身體租給別人，讓自己去上學

as a heroin suitcase?

作為一個海洛因手提箱？

- All right. - Wow.

- 好吧，哇。- 哇哦

- I see what's going on.

- 我知道是怎麼回事了。

Joesph, please, we do have other dancers

Joesph，別這樣，我們還有其他舞者呢

here today who are waiting there turn very politely.

今天在這裡的人都很有禮貌地等待著輪到他們。

No, Joesph, let her come on stage.

不，喬瑟夫，讓她上臺來。

- Oh, okay. - Let her come,

- 哦，好吧。- 讓她來。

no, Joesph.

不，喬瑟夫

- If I win this competition I can put a roof over my house,

- 如果我贏了這次比賽，我就可以給我的房子蓋上屋頂。

'cause I got a house that aint got no roof,

因為我有一棟沒有屋頂的房子。

for real, though?

是真的嗎？

- Joesph.

- Joesph.

- Just one little thing, though.

- 不過，只有一件小事。

- Don't do it, Joesph.

- 不要這樣做，喬瑟夫。

- Really big, it was a loud bridge.

- 真的很大，這是一座響亮的橋。

- Don't finish that sentence.

- 不要把這句話說完。

- I got hearing damage in this ear.

- 我這隻耳朵的聽力受損。

- Joesph!

- Joesph!

- And also in this ear.

- 也在這個耳朵。

- Joesph!

- Joesph!

- The bridge have had trucks go over it.

- 橋上有卡車經過。

- Joesph. - Because the bridge.

- Joesph.- 因為橋。

- Keep it.

- 留著吧

- 15 ton.

- 15噸。

- Hold it.

- 等一下

Put it in your mouth

把它放進你的嘴裡

and get off my stage.

從我的舞臺上下來。

- Rated six.

- 評分六。

- Joe.

- 喬

- That's a big truck.

- 那是一輛大卡車

- Sph.

- Sph.

Okay, Joesph, please.

好吧，喬瑟夫，拜託

And who is this?

這又是誰呢？

- Oh who is this right there?

- 哦，這是誰在那裡？

This is my 12 year old daughter

這是我十二歲的女兒

who I raised all by myself without the help

我一個人把她養大，沒有人幫忙

of anybody else in the entire world,

的任何人在整個世界。

she is my inspiration.

她是我的靈感來源。

- Joesph, it doesn't matter, there's nothing

- 喬斯夫，沒關係，沒有什麼大不了的

you can do or say that's going to make us change

你可以做或說，要讓我們改變。

our minds today.

我們今天的思想。

- That right there, that right there,

- 就在那裡，就在那裡。

that's her daughter.

這是她的女兒。

She blind.

她瞎了。

Come on.

來吧。

So, I raised them both by myself

所以，他們兩個都是我一個人帶大的

without nobody else's help.

沒有別人的幫助。

- Come get your ticket to Vegas.

- 來拿你的票去拉斯維加斯。

(cheering)

（歡呼聲）

- [Judge] Oh my God, yes.

- [法官]哦，我的上帝，是的。

- Good job. - Tremendous.

- 做得好- 厲害啊

- Can you believe it? - Did you see that?

- 你能相信嗎？- 你看到了嗎？

- I'm getting goosies over here.

- 我在這裡得到goosies。

I'm getting goosies, I am.

我得到goosies，我是。

(soft tense music)

(柔和的緊張音樂)

- Drew, come forward.

- 德魯，上前。

- Yes, Chef.

- 是的，大廚

This is a chicken quiche with cremini mushrooms,

這是一個雞肉乳蛋餅與cremini蘑菇。

baby spinach, and feta cheese.

小菠菜，和羊奶酪。

(soft tense music)

(柔和的緊張音樂)

- Unbelievable.

- 難以置信

Walter, I have a huge problem with this dish.

沃爾特，我對這道菜有很大的意見。

It's that you haven't made it for me sooner.

是你沒有早點給我做。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Thank you, Chef.

- 謝謝你，廚師。

- Because if you had, Drew,

- 因為如果你有，德魯。

then I would know how good you are at cooking food

那我就知道你的廚藝有多好了

that's bad.

這是壞的。

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

- I'm sorry, Chef.

- 對不起，大廚

- And when I say bad,

- 當我說不好的時候

I mean Michael Jackson Bad.

我的意思是邁克爾-傑克遜壞。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Thank you, Chef.

- 謝謝你，廚師。

- You know how he looked really really bad

- 你知道他看起來真的很糟糕

at the end of his life?

在他生命的最後一刻？

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

- Chef, I'm sorry.

- 大廚，對不起

I don't know if you like the dish or not.

不知道你喜不喜歡這道菜。

- You don't know if I like the dish or not?

- 你不知道我到底喜不喜歡這道菜？

Well, let's put it this way.

好吧，讓我們這樣說吧。

Pack your (bleep) knives, get out,

收拾好你的（嗶）刀，滾出去。

you're off the show.

你是關閉的節目。

- Sorry, Chef.

- 對不起，大廚

- Because, you should be working

- 因為，你應該在工作

in the finest restaurants in the world.

世界上最好的餐廳裡。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Thank you, Chef.

- 謝謝你，廚師。

- Just not any world that I live in.

- 只是不是我生活的任何世界。

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

- Sorry, Chef.

- 對不起，大廚

- Because frankly, Drew, I'm jealous of you.

- 因為說實話，德魯，我很嫉妒你。

- Thank you, Chef?

- 謝謝你，大廚？

- And your ability to not give a shit

- 而你的能力，不給狗屎

about what you cook.

關於你做的東西。

(tense music)

(緊張的音樂)

This is not fit for human consumption.

這是不適合人類食用的。

No, this should be eaten by a higher life form

不，這應該是由更高級的生命體吃掉的

with a more complex palette

複雜的調色板

but also a altruistic drive

但也是一種利他的動力

to save humanity from dishes like this.

以拯救人類免受這樣的菜。

Joking.

開玩笑的

Not!

不！

You deserve to die!

你應該死！

(screaming) (tense music)

（尖叫） （緊張的音樂）

(grunting) (wet crunching)

（叫聲）（溼的嘎吱聲）。

So you won't have to endure a life

這樣你就不用忍受生活的煎熬了。

in which you will never exceed

其中，你永遠不會超過

what you have achieved here today.

你今天在這裡取得的成就。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Thank you, Chef.

- 謝謝你，廚師。

- In conclusion.

- 最後：

Uh.

呃...

- [Narrator] As Don's week at the warehouse was wrapping up,

- [旁白]當唐在倉庫的一週即將結束時，

it was time to come clean with his employees.

是時候向他的員工坦白了。

- Actually, everybody.

- 其實，大家。

I've got an announcement to make.

我有個消息要宣佈

- Don't nobody want to hear your bull (bleep), newbie.

- 沒人想聽你的廢話，新手。

- Okay. - Don't nobody want

- 好吧 沒有人想

to hear it!

來聽聽吧！

- I think you will hear about this one.

- 我想你會聽到這個消息。

So gather around.

所以圍觀吧。

I'm not actually a new employee.

其實我不是新員工。

- You can say that again, you a waste of space

- 你可以再說一遍，你是個廢物！

as far as I'm concerned.

據我所知。

Can't get nothing done in time.

到時候什麼都做不了。

Like a snail over here.

像一隻蝸牛在這裡。

(chuckling)

（笑著）

- I am actually President of the company.

- 其實我是公司的總裁。

You're on Undercover Boss.

你在做 "臥底老闆"。

(laughing)

（笑）

TV show.

電視劇。

- What?

- 什麼？

- In this week

- 在本週

since I've been working here amongst ya.

自從我在這裡工作後，你們中間。

I got to hear each and every one of your stories.

我聽到了你們每一個人的故事。

Just about and uh--

只是大約和uh --

- You know I was just playing right?

- 你知道我只是在玩，對吧？

You know I was just trying

你知道我只是想

to lighten the mood in the workplace and what not?

來緩解職場中的氣氛什麼的？

- Thank you, Joesph.

- 謝謝你，喬瑟夫

Bill,

比爾。

Buddy, you're telling me that your car broke down

兄弟，你是說你的車壞了嗎？

and it hasn't been working right ever since,

從此以後，它就不能正常工作了。

well I want to get you a new Ford Explorer.

我想給你買輛新的福特探險者。

- Oh my God, thank you so much, Mark,

- 哦，我的上帝，謝謝你這麼多，馬克。

that means so much to me.

這意味著這麼多給我。

- My whole family died in one day.

- 我的全家在一天之內就死了。

- Thank you.

- 謝謝你了

- Huge car crash. - Joesph.

- 巨大的車禍。- Joesph.

- Huge man,

- 巨大的人。

we were having a family picnic

我們正在進行一次家庭野餐

and then this truck just came on through

然後，這輛卡車就來了，通過

and just killing everybody,

並只是殺了大家。

chopping everyone's heads off.

把所有人的頭都砍下來。

- Eleanore.

- 埃莉諾

You were worried that you were not

你擔心你不是

gonna be able to afford college

上得起學

for your two boys

為你的兩個兒子

and uh, I'm starting a college fund for them both,

我正在為他們兩個設立大學基金。

I'm putting $10,000 in each one of them.

我給他們每人投了一萬塊錢。

- This is amazing.

- 這是驚人的。

I'm so grateful.

我很感激

- You know I can't make no family anymore

- 你知道我不能再成家了。

'cause my dick got chopped up in an accident

因為我的老二在一次意外中被砍斷了。

and now I pee out the side.

現在我從旁邊尿出來。

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night,

有時我半夜醒來。

I just, I start to pee.

我只是，我開始撒尿。

Right in my mouth.

就在我的嘴裡。

- Joesph, that's.

- 喬瑟夫，那是。

- Sometimes poop come out the other side.

- 有時大便會從另一邊出來。

I don't even know what-- - Joesph!

我都不知道...

- Dick is in eight pieces.

- 迪克是八塊。

- Joesph.

- Joesph.

Okay, you know.

好吧，你知道。

- Please just give me a rise.

- 請給我升職吧。

I aint asking for no kind of scholarships or nothing.

我不要求任何形式的獎學金或什麼。

- Joesph, I'm gonna get,