(Josh laughs)

（喬希笑）

(Rob screams)

（羅布尖叫聲）

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Hey guys, welcome to "Stir Crazy".

- 嗨，歡迎來到 "瘋狂攪拌"。

My guest today loves football, comedy and Zoom talk shows.

我今天的嘉賓喜歡足球、喜劇和Zoom脫口秀。

Hey, I'm decent at at least one of those things.

嘿，我至少對其中的一件事很在行。

It's Rob Riggle. - Hello.

我是羅伯-瑞格爾- 你好，我是羅伯-瑞格爾

- Is that a football in your pants,

- 你的褲子裡有個足球嗎？

or are you just happy to see me today, sir?

還是你今天見到我很高興，先生？

- Hey oh!

- 嘿，哦！

It's a football in my pants, actually.

其實是我褲子裡的足球。

I put a football in my pants.

我把一個足球放在我的褲子裡。

- So there is, apparently, this team

- 所以有，顯然，這個團隊

called the Kansas City Chiefs,

叫堪薩斯城酋長隊。

and they're going to the Super Bowl.

他們要去超級碗。

Have you heard about this?

你聽說過這個嗎？

Have you gotten notifications?

你收到通知了嗎？

- I've been made aware of it through my Google Alerts,

- 我已經通過我的Google Alerts知道了。

that there is the football club

有足球俱樂部

from Kansas City to going to the Super Bowl.

從堪薩斯城到去超級碗。

Obviously, I grew up in Kansas City.

很明顯，我是在堪薩斯城長大的。

So I'm a huge Kansas City Chiefs fan.

所以我是堪薩斯城酋長隊的忠實球迷。

So these are the greatest days of my life.

所以這些日子是我一生中最美好的日子。

- Between a one and a birth of your children,

- 在你的孩子的一個和一個出生之間。

like where is this in the happiness meter of Rob Riggle?

就像羅伯-裡格爾的幸福指數一樣，這在哪裡？

- A half a percentage point under birth of children.

- 兒出生率低半個百分點。

- At least it's below, I'm relieved, but it is that high.

- 至少在下面，我放心了，但就是這麼高。

- Yeah, I mean, again, half a percentage point, it's close.

- 是的，我的意思是，再一次，半個百分點，很接近。

- The Kansas City Chiefs, your team,

- 堪薩斯城酋長隊，你的球隊。

has a disproportionate amount

有過多的

of attractive, funny men that like it.

有吸引力的，有趣的男人，喜歡它。

It's like an odd, strange...

這就像一個奇怪的，奇怪的... ...

You got the Paul Rudds.

你得到了保羅-魯德。

You got the John Hamms.

你得到了約翰-漢姆的消息

He got the Sudeikises.

他得到了Sudeikises。

You got the Riggles.

你得到了裡格爾斯。

What?

什麼？

- The Dave Koechners, the Eric Stonestreets, oh yeah.

- Dave Koechners, Eric Stonestreets, oh yeah.

- It's odd.

- 這很奇怪。

Are you competitive with them, over like

你是否與他們競爭，超過喜歡

who's the biggest fan in that peer group?

誰是最大的風扇 在該同行組？

Like, are you a bigger Chiefs fan?

比如，你是酋長隊的大粉絲嗎？

- No. - No?

- 沒有 沒有？

- No, I think it's pretty well established

- 不，我想這已經是公認的了

that I'm the number one fan, but yeah.

我是頭號粉絲，但是是的。

- [Josh] That seems like...

- 這看起來像...

- I don't think it's being contested anymore, is it?

- 我想現在已經不爭氣了吧？

What have you heard?

你聽到什麼了？

- No, I mean, I would have to get them on.

- 不，我的意思是，我必須讓他們上。

I don't have their direct lines.

我沒有他們的直系電話。

- Well, it's weird that you would even bring it up.

- 好吧，這很奇怪，你甚至會提出來。

'Cause I thought it was understood.

因為我以為已經明白了。

- No, no I guess I didn't do

- 不，不，我想我沒有做。

enough research to realize that it was...

足夠的研究意識到這是... ...

- But you obviously heard something.

- 但你顯然聽到了什麼。

You heard like someone's challenging-

你聽到有人在挑戰...

- You actually seem really defensive all of a sudden.

- 你居然突然間顯得很有防備心。

You've changed like the way you...

你變了，就像你... ...

- Hey, no, no, you brought it up.

- 嘿，不，不，你提出來的。

I just wanna be real clear.

我只想說清楚

- Okay, for the record, in Rob Riggle's mind,

- 好吧，記錄在案，在羅伯-裡格爾的腦海裡。

he's the number one fan.

他是頭號粉絲。

And maybe that's true, maybe it's not, I guess is what...

也許是真的，也許不是，我想是... ...

What, what is that?

什麼，那是什麼？

Number one, that's- - Number one.

第一，那是第一。

- Okay, okay, whatever gets you to bed at night.

- 好吧，好吧，不管什麼讓你晚上睡覺。

How far would you go for the love of this team?

為了這個團隊的愛，你會走多遠？

Like, would you kill a dude to earn Pat Mahomes' respect?

就像你會為了贏得帕特-馬霍姆斯的尊重而殺人嗎？

You're taking way too long on this.

你花了太多時間在這上面。

There was an obvious answer,

有一個明顯的答案。

and you're failing miserably right now.

而你現在卻失敗得很慘。

- Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.

- 哦，對不起，你是對的。

The answer's yes, sorry.

答案是肯定的，對不起。

- Okay, good to know (laughs).

- 好的，很高興知道（笑）。

- When I think of football,

- 當我想到足球的時候。

I think of the touchdown celebrations.

我想到了觸地的慶祝活動。

I know they're a little bit muted in recent years.

我知道他們近幾年有點淡定了。

You're not allowed to kinda go crazy after a touchdown.

你不允許在觸地得分後還有點瘋狂。

But I wanna celebrate what those dances,

但我想慶祝那些舞蹈

what those celebrations are all about.

這些慶祝活動都是為了什麼。

I have a challenge for you.

我有一個挑戰給你。

I'm gonna give you a name of a touchdown celebration.

我給你一個達陣慶祝的名字。

You show me in as much detail as you want

你想讓我看多詳細就看多詳細吧

how this celebration would go in your brain.

這個慶祝活動會如何在你的大腦中進行。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

Okay, this is the touchdown celebration

好吧，這就是觸地慶祝

known as the Riggle Wiggle, what happens?

被稱為 "搖搖擺擺"，會發生什麼？

- It's a...

- 這是一個...

You gotta almost...

你必須幾乎...

It's like machine gun shoulders.

這就像機槍的肩膀。

- It's like, am I looking

- 這就像，我在看

at Shakira or Rob Riggle right now?

在夏奇拉或羅布裡格爾現在？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Okay, we call this one the Enthusiastic Librarian.

好吧，我們管這個叫熱心的圖書管理員。

What happens?

發生了什麼？

(Josh laughs)

（喬希笑）

- It's a lot of, but they do that.

- 這是一個很大的，但他們這樣做。

You see players doing that to shush the crowd

你看到球員們這樣做是為了噓寒問暖嗎？

when they're at the other person's stadium.

當他們在對方的體育場。

So that would be it.

所以，這將是它。

I would just walk on shushing everybody.

我只是走在大家的噓聲中。

But first you gotta be going through the pages.

但是，首先你得是 通過頁面。

(Josh laughs)

（喬希笑）

- Finally, this is my favorite.

- 最後，這是我最喜歡的。

This is a new touchdown celebration

這是一個新的觸地慶祝活動

we call the Exploding Penis.

我們稱之為 "爆炸的陰莖"。

(Josh laughs)

（喬希笑）

(Rob screams)

（羅布尖叫聲）

- And it goes on for five more minutes, that exact-

- 再過5分鐘，就這樣... ...

- Wow, that's a peek

- 哇，這是個偷看的機會

into your personal life I never wanted.(laughs)

我從來沒有想過要進入你的私人生活。 （笑）

By my count, let's see, I checked IMDB,

據我統計，讓我看看，我查了IMDB。

you've been in 129 projects.

你已經在129個項目中。

I don't know what like debts you have

我不知道你欠了什麼債？

that you're trying to pay off, what's going on.

你想付清的錢，這是怎麼回事。

Take a break, buddy, what's going on? (laughs)

歇歇吧，哥們，怎麼了？（笑）

Is there one line that you get quoted to you?

有沒有一句話，你會被引用給你？

I have a guess, but you tell me,

我有一個猜測，但你告訴我。

what's the one line you get the most?

你得到最多的一句話是什麼？

- People yell "Pal" at me a lot.

- 人們經常對我喊 "老兄"。

And I also get "Not up in here."

我也得到了 "不要在這上面"。

I get, "Not you, fat Jesus" "In the face"

我聽到的是，"不是你，胖子耶穌"，"打臉"。

those are the ones I get the most.

這些都是我得到最多的。

- So when you say something like "In the face"

- 所以當你說 "當面 "這樣的話時

in "Hangover" does it register like,

在 "宿醉 "中，它的登記方式是：

oh, I bet this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life or?

哦，我敢打賭，這是要去困擾我 我的餘生或？

No, you never know.

不，你永遠不知道。

- No, not at all, not at all.

- 不，一點也不，一點也不。

That's the thing about,

這就是關於。

I've been so blessed in the projects that I've done,

在我做的項目中，我已經很幸福了。

that they allow me to improvise.

他們允許我即興發揮。

But it's a blessing and a curse,

但這是福也是禍。

because sometimes you just say things,

因為有時候你只是說說而已。

and you don't even think twice about it.

而你卻連想都不想就這麼做了。

You don't even remember you said it

你連自己說過的話都不記得了

until you see in the premiere or whatever.

直到你看到在首映或什麼。

You see it in the film.

你在電影裡看到的。

I did something at the end of "21 Jump Street"

我在 "21跳街 "的結尾做了一些事情。

where I actually get my ding-a-ling shot off.

在那裡，我實際上得到我的叮叮噹噹的拍攝了。

I think I went down out of cameras,

我想我的相機壞了。

I pick up my my ding-a-ling or whatever,

我拿起我的叮叮噹噹什麼的。

and they're like, no.

他們很喜歡，沒有。

And Jonah said, "Try to grab it with your mouth"

約拿說："試著用你的嘴去抓它"

or whatever, so I went out of frame

所以我出鏡了

to try to grab something.

試圖抓住一些東西。

Got a big reaction from the crew.

得到了劇組的熱烈反響。

So next thing I know,

所以接下來我知道的事情。

they're getting a banana out of crafting.

他們得到了一個香蕉的手藝了。

You know, they're putting fake blood on it and stuff,

你知道，他們把假血在它和東西。

and I got to grab it with my mouth.

而我得用嘴去抓它。

It comes up and pops out of my mouth.

它一上來就從我嘴裡蹦出來。

Oh, more laughs.

哦，更多的笑聲。

And I'm thinking, this is just to keep our energy up.

我在想，這只是為了保持我們的能量。

This is just good hi-jinks and fun.

這只是好的喜劇和樂趣。

No way the good people at Sony

索尼的好心人不可能

are gonna allow this to be put in

是要去允許這個被放在

the final version of the movie.

電影的最終版本。

Well, that's what happens,

嗯，這就是發生的事情。

my friend, sometimes these things...

我的朋友，有時這些東西...

Now that lives on forever.

現在，它永遠地活了下來。

- Do people ask you to recreate

- 人們要求你重新創造

the scene for them, with their own junk?

場景為他們，與自己的垃圾？

- Thank God no, but I do have people come up and say,

- 謝天謝地，沒有，但我確實有人過來說。

hey man, you got your dick shot off.

嘿，夥計，你得到了你的雞巴拍攝了。

I'm like, okay, here we go.

我想，好吧，我們走吧。

(Josh laughs)

（喬希笑）

Next challenge for you.

下一個挑戰給你。

This is a game we love to play.

這是一個我們喜歡玩的遊戲。

We call this Who Am I?

我們稱之為 "我是誰"？

Here's what's gonna happen.

這就是將要發生的事情。

You're gonna get a bunch of celebrity names

你會得到一堆名人的名字。

shown to you on the screen.

在螢幕上顯示給您。

You're gonna have to try to make me guess who you are.

你得讓我猜猜你是誰。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

You've got a mohawk, Mr. T.

你有一個莫霍克，T先生。

(Rob mumbles)

（羅布喃喃自語）

- Kermit the- - You're Kermit the frog?

- 你是青蛙柯密特？

- How does Kermit talk?

- 柯密特是怎麼說話的？

Does Kermit the frog talk like this?

柯密特青蛙會這樣說話嗎？

- Yeah, but wait, are you Kermit the Frog?

- 是的，但等一下，你是柯密特青蛙嗎？

'Cause that ruins the game, Rob.

因為那會毀了遊戲，羅伯。

- Oh no, no, I'm not.

- 哦，不，不，我不是。

- You're not Kermit the frog.

- 你不是柯密特青蛙。

You're an acquaintance of Kermit.

你是柯密特的熟人。

- Would you like to buy some Allstate?

- 你想買一些全州？

- Wilford Brimley?

- Wilford Brimley?

Are these football players?

這些是足球運動員嗎？

'Cause I'm gonna get every one of these wrong if it is.

因為如果是這樣的話，我一定會把這些都弄錯的。

- Yes.

- 是的，我知道

- (laughs) Who was that?

- （笑）那是誰？

- Patrick Mahomes.

- Patrick Mahomes

That was Patrick Mahomes.

那是Patrick Mahomes

- We've established I don't know anything.

- 我們已經確定我什麼都不知道。

Why are we doing this?

我們為什麼要這樣做？

- Hi SpongeBob, how are you?

- 嗨，海綿寶寶，你好嗎？

- Sponge Bob Square Pants.

- 海綿寶寶廣場褲。

Who's Sponge Bob's friend?

誰是海綿寶寶的朋友？

Jeff?

傑夫？

- Same, name as the last guy.

- 和上一個人一樣，名字。

- Patrick, the starfish, Mahomes, the-

- 帕特里克、海星、馬霍姆斯、...

I got it, really?

我明白了，真的嗎？

I'm learning so much today.

今天我學到了很多東西。

Oh, you're the queen.

哦，你是女王。

You're...

你是...

- I also throw footballs, what's up?

- 我也會扔腳球，怎麼了？

- You're a gentleman, you're Tom Brady.

- 你是個紳士，你是湯姆-布雷迪。

Oh really? - You got it.

哦，真的嗎？- 你明白了。

- Wow, it's like one of three quarterbacks I knew.

- 哇，這就像我認識的三個四分衛之一。

- That was my Tom Brady handsome face.

- 那是我的湯姆-布雷迪帥氣的臉。

- All right, it's my turn.

- 好了，輪到我了。

Let me have a crack at this.

讓我來試試這個。

Oh, I'm a funny guy that's in the poster behind you.

哦，我是一個有趣的傢伙，在你後面的海報。

- Oh, Will Ferrell.

- 哦，威爾-費洛爾。

- I love Kentucky Fried Chicken and I'm in the military.

- 我喜歡肯德基炸雞，而且我是軍人。

- Rob Riggle.

- 羅伯-瑞格爾

- (laughs) Well, this guy also fits the bill.

- (笑)嗯，這傢伙也符合要求。

He's wears white and he's like old timey and...

他穿著白色的衣服，他就像一個老古董...

- Colonel Sanders.

- 桑德斯上校

- Yeah, there you go.

- 是啊，你去那裡。

Thank God these aren't football players.

謝天謝地，這些不是足球運動員。

Oh, "21 Jump Street" Star, not Jonah Hill, the other guy.

哦，"21跳街 "明星，不是喬納-希爾，另一個人。

- Channing Tatum.

- Channing Tatum.

- There he is.

- 他在那裡

- I thought we had to do impersonations.

- 我以為我們要做模仿。

That's why I was trying to do the Kermit voice.

所以我才想學柯密特的聲音。

(Josh laughs)

（喬希笑）

You just described these.

你剛才描述了這些。

Is this Pyramid or is this impersonations charades?

這是金字塔還是冒充猜字遊戲？

What are we doing?

我們在做什麼？

- Some really stupid Would You Rather

- 一些非常愚蠢的你寧願

questions for you, Rob, you ready?

有問題要問你，羅布，你準備好了嗎？

- Fire away, yes.

- 開火，是的。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

- Would you rather have a football-shaped penis or nose?

- 你喜歡足球形狀的陰莖還是鼻子？

Are you looking at your,

你是不是在看你的。

what are you doing?

你在做什麼？

Are you looking at it?

你在看嗎？

- I mean, it's oddly shaped.

- 我的意思是，它的形狀很奇怪。

I don't wanna talk about it.

我不想談論它。

I think it's already done, the die is already cast.

我認為已經完成了，模具已經鑄造好了。

- I hit upon a sore subject, I didn't realize.

- 我撞到了一個痛的話題，我沒有意識到。

Would you rather legally change your name

你是否願意合法地改變你的名字

to Patrick Mahomy or Rob Wiggle?

帕特里克-馬霍米還是羅布-威格爾？

- Patrick Mahomy.

- 帕特里克-馬霍米

- That's cool, or is it just,

- 這很酷，還是隻是。

you don't wanna go by the wiggle?

你不想去的擺動？

- No, I think it's just cool.

- 不，我認為這只是很酷。

I think that's what's up, Patrick Mahomy.

我想這就是問題所在，帕特里克-馬霍米。

- Would you rather live

- 你是否願意活下去

locked inside the jumbotron at Arrowhead,

被鎖在箭頭城的大屏幕上。

or be in a Marine boot camp for six months?

還是在海軍陸戰隊新兵營裡呆半年？

- Oh, the jumbotron, no doubt.

- 哦，毫無疑問，是大屏幕。

- (laughs) Is that, you wanna live there,