WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

JON, ARE YOU STAYING WARM?

>> Jon: OH, I'M TRYING MY BEST.

I CAN'T GO OUTSIDE.

BUT THE SNOW, WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT GROWING UP IN NEW ORLEANS.

I'M STILL GETTING USED TO THIS LEVEL OF SNOW.

>> Stephen: DID IT EVER FOR ANY REASON SNOW BACK IN

NEW ORLEANS, EVEN ON THE STRANGEST DAY?

>> Jon: NO.

THE ENTIRE TIME I LIVED THERE, ALL 17 YEARS BEFORE I MOVED TO

NEW YORK, NOT ONE DAY OF SNOW.

WE NEVER HAD A SNOW DAY AT SCHOOL.

I DIDN'T EVEN SEE SNOW UNTIL I MOVED AWAY.

IT'S CRAZY.

>> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST SNOW LIKE?

>> Jon: I DIDN'T HAVE A WINTER COAT, I REMEMBER THAT.

AND I REMEMBER HOW THAT FELT.

AND I WALKED AROUND, AND I REMEMBER MY HANDS STARTED TO

TURN BLUE.

THIS PART STARTED TURNING BLUE AND THAT'S WHEN I WAS, LIKE,

OKAY, I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING BETTER ABOUT THIS.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, JON.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO WARM UP THE NORTHEAST CORRIDOR?

>> Jon: MMM, MMM -- ♪♪♪

YOU KNOW THAT?

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: NOT YET.

I'LL HAVE TO FIND OUT LATER.

JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU, JON.

>> Jon: LATER ON.

>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE LESS THAN A

WEEK AWAY FROM THE BIGGEST GAME IN MEN'S

FOOTBALL: THE SUPER BOWL, RIGHT HERE ON CBS!

SUPER BOWL, WHAT IS THAT?

50 WHAT?

LV RIGHT HERE ON CBS.

IT'S A BLOCKBUSTER MATCH UP BETWEEN PATRICK MAHOMES OF THE

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS AND TOM BRADY OF NOT THE PATRIOTS, BUT I'M

SURE TAMPA BAY LOVES OUR COUNTRY JUST THE SAME.

BUT THE SUNDAY SPORTS FUN WON'T STOP AT THE FOOTBALL BUZZER.

STAY TUNED AFTER THE GAME FOR A VERY SPECIAL "A LATE SHOW: SUPER

BOWL EDITION!" I'LL ROCKET OUT OF THE GATE LIKE

TYREEK HILL ON A GO ROUTE THROUGH A TAMPA BAY COVER TWO

DEFENSE, AND BY THE TIME WE AIR, I'LL HAVE HAD SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO

ME WHAT I JUST SAID.

EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEST PART OF SUPER BOWL SUNDAY IS THE PARTY:

GETTING TOGETHER WITH FRIENDS FOR CHIPS, DIPS, EATING COLD

CUTS WITH YOUR HANDS, CHUGGING A BEER, AND OTHER THINGS THAT

CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE.

AND STAYING IN THE KITCHEN MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE YOU HAVE

P.T.S.D. FROM THE SEARING ABUSE YOU SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF

YOUR HIGH SCHOOL'S JOCKS.

OF COURSE, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE HUMANS ENJOY, THE PANDEMIC HAS

CANCELLED ALL THAT.

AND THE C.D.C. HAS RELEASED NEW GUIDANCE ON HOW TO SAFELY ENJOY

THE BIG GAME.

INCLUDING, "THE SAFEST WAY TO WATCH THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR

IS AT HOME WITH PEOPLE YOU LIVE WITH."

ALSO KNOWN AS THE PEOPLE YOU NOW WORK WITH, THE PEOPLE YOU NOW

EDUCATE, THE PEOPLE WHO HIDE THE LAST PIECE OF THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

IN THEIR POCKET SO THEY CAN BE THE HERO WHO FINISHES IT.

WHERE IS THE LAST WATER LILY, EVIE?!

IF YOU DO ENJOY THE GAME WITH FRIENDS OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSEHOLD,

THE C.D.C. SUGGESTS HOSTING A VIRTUAL SUPER BOWL

PARTY.

WHICH IS GOING TO MAKE FOR SOME AWKWARDNESS ON ZOOM.

"I'M SORRY, I WAS ABOUT TO CHEER.

WERE YOU ABOUT TO CHEER?

YOU GO FIRST."

TO LIVEN THINGS UP, THE C.D.C.

SUGGESTS WEARING CLOTHING OR DECORATING YOUR HOME WITH YOUR

FAVORITE TEAM'S LOGO OR COLORS.

OH, MY GOD.

CLEARLY THE C.D.C. HAS NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY.

"I'D LIKE TO ISSUE SOME GUIDELINES FOR MY BIRTHDAY

FESTIVITIES.

WE COULD ADORN THE LIVING ROOM WITH COLORED RIBBONS OR PERHAPS

POUCHES OF LATEX INFLATED WITH SOME LIGHTER-THAN-AIR ELEMENTAL

GAS, TETHERED, OF COURSE, SO THEY DO NOT ASCEND TO AN

ATMOSPHERIC LEVEL WHERE THEY ATTAIN A NEUTRAL BUOYANCY.

TOWARD THE END OF THE EVENING, I WOULD ENJOY A SWEET

CONFECTION FEATURING MY NAME AND SOME SORT OF WAX-BASED

INCENDIARY DEVICES THAT I COULD EXTINGUISH AFTER IMAGINING SOME

GOOD FORTUNE THAT I HOPE TO BEFALL ME, IF I SUCCESSFULLY

EXTINGUISH ALL OF THEM WITH ONE LUNGFUL OF CARBON DIOXIDE."

BUT IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF PARTY ANIMAL WHO LIKES FOOTBALL MORE

THAN KEEPING YOUR LOVED ONES OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, THE C.D.C. SAYS

INDOOR GATHERINGS ARE SAFEST IF YOU DO NOT CHANT OR CHEER, AND

INSTEAD STOMP.

UNFORTUNATELY, THEY DON'T SAY WHAT TO DO IF YOUR NEIGHBORS

TAKE THAT ADVICE.

BECAUSE I AM UNAWARE OF A SOCIALLY DISTANT WAY TO MURDER

THE GUYS IN THE APARTMENT ABOVE YOU.

ANOTHER WAY TO KEEP A SUPER BOWL GATHERING SAFE IS BY LIMITING

ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION.

THIS IS A GOOD SUGGESTION, BECAUSE IF YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD

IDEA TO ATTEND A PARTY DURING COVID, YOU'RE ALREADY PRETTY

HIGH.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ETHAN HAWKE.

♪♪♪