Name: 安全派对贴士（Party Safe On Super Bowl Sunday With These Tips From The CDC）
Uploaded: 2021-02-03T03:50:29.000Z
Duration: 5 min 12 s
Description: Sure, the pandemic has put a damper on party plans this year, but the folks at the CDC don't want it to stop you from having a good time on Sunday! Don't miss Stephen...

BUT THE SNOW, WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT GROWING UP IN NEW ORLEANS.

I'M STILL GETTING USED TO THIS LEVEL OF SNOW.

>> Stephen: DID IT EVER FOR ANY REASON SNOW BACK IN

THE ENTIRE TIME I LIVED THERE, ALL 17 YEARS BEFORE I MOVED TO

I DIDN'T EVEN SEE SNOW UNTIL I MOVED AWAY.

>> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST SNOW LIKE?

>> Jon: I DIDN'T HAVE A WINTER COAT, I REMEMBER THAT.

AND I WALKED AROUND, AND I REMEMBER MY HANDS STARTED TO

THIS PART STARTED TURNING BLUE AND THAT'S WHEN I WAS, LIKE,

OKAY, I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING BETTER ABOUT THIS.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO WARM UP THE NORTHEAST CORRIDOR?

>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE LESS THAN A

FOOTBALL: THE SUPER BOWL, RIGHT HERE ON CBS!

IT'S A BLOCKBUSTER MATCH UP BETWEEN PATRICK MAHOMES OF THE

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS AND TOM BRADY OF NOT THE PATRIOTS, BUT I'M

SURE TAMPA BAY LOVES OUR COUNTRY JUST THE SAME.

BUT THE SUNDAY SPORTS FUN WON'T STOP AT THE FOOTBALL BUZZER.

STAY TUNED AFTER THE GAME FOR A VERY SPECIAL "A LATE SHOW: SUPER

BOWL EDITION!" I'LL ROCKET OUT OF THE GATE LIKE

TYREEK HILL ON A GO ROUTE THROUGH A TAMPA BAY COVER TWO

DEFENSE, AND BY THE TIME WE AIR, I'LL HAVE HAD SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO

EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEST PART OF SUPER BOWL SUNDAY IS THE PARTY:

GETTING TOGETHER WITH FRIENDS FOR CHIPS, DIPS, EATING COLD

CUTS WITH YOUR HANDS, CHUGGING A BEER, AND OTHER THINGS THAT

AND STAYING IN THE KITCHEN MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE YOU HAVE

P.T.S.D. FROM THE SEARING ABUSE YOU SUFFERED AT THE HANDS OF

OF COURSE, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE HUMANS ENJOY, THE PANDEMIC HAS

AND THE C.D.C. HAS RELEASED NEW GUIDANCE ON HOW TO SAFELY ENJOY

INCLUDING, "THE SAFEST WAY TO WATCH THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR

ALSO KNOWN AS THE PEOPLE YOU NOW WORK WITH, THE PEOPLE YOU NOW

EDUCATE, THE PEOPLE WHO HIDE THE LAST PIECE OF THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

IN THEIR POCKET SO THEY CAN BE THE HERO WHO FINISHES IT.

IF YOU DO ENJOY THE GAME WITH FRIENDS OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSEHOLD,

THE C.D.C. SUGGESTS HOSTING A VIRTUAL SUPER BOWL

WHICH IS GOING TO MAKE FOR SOME AWKWARDNESS ON ZOOM.

SUGGESTS WEARING CLOTHING OR DECORATING YOUR HOME WITH YOUR

CLEARLY THE C.D.C. HAS NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY.

"I'D LIKE TO ISSUE SOME GUIDELINES FOR MY BIRTHDAY

WE COULD ADORN THE LIVING ROOM WITH COLORED RIBBONS OR PERHAPS

POUCHES OF LATEX INFLATED WITH SOME LIGHTER-THAN-AIR ELEMENTAL

GAS, TETHERED, OF COURSE, SO THEY DO NOT ASCEND TO AN

ATMOSPHERIC LEVEL WHERE THEY ATTAIN A NEUTRAL BUOYANCY.

TOWARD THE END OF THE EVENING, I WOULD ENJOY A SWEET

CONFECTION FEATURING MY NAME AND SOME SORT OF WAX-BASED

INCENDIARY DEVICES THAT I COULD EXTINGUISH AFTER IMAGINING SOME

GOOD FORTUNE THAT I HOPE TO BEFALL ME, IF I SUCCESSFULLY

EXTINGUISH ALL OF THEM WITH ONE LUNGFUL OF CARBON DIOXIDE."

BUT IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF PARTY ANIMAL WHO LIKES FOOTBALL MORE

THAN KEEPING YOUR LOVED ONES OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, THE C.D.C. SAYS

INDOOR GATHERINGS ARE SAFEST IF YOU DO NOT CHANT OR CHEER, AND

UNFORTUNATELY, THEY DON'T SAY WHAT TO DO IF YOUR NEIGHBORS

BECAUSE I AM UNAWARE OF A SOCIALLY DISTANT WAY TO MURDER

ANOTHER WAY TO KEEP A SUPER BOWL GATHERING SAFE IS BY LIMITING

THIS IS A GOOD SUGGESTION, BECAUSE IF YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD

IDEA TO ATTEND A PARTY DURING COVID, YOU'RE ALREADY PRETTY

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安全派对贴士（Party Safe On Super Bowl Sunday With These Tips From The CDC）

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