Name: 雜草，懷孕，陰莖和更多。你最擔心的事情被證實了 (Weed, Pregnancy, Penises & More: Your Worst Fears Confirmed)
Uploaded: 2021-01-31T19:16:15.000Z
Duration: 12 min 13 s

關係子句

And here's how The shaft of your Penis, which is full of blood and guts, is connected to the rest of your body with skin and guts.

你的陰莖的軸，充滿了血液和內臟，與你身體的其他部分用皮膚和內臟連接。

If that connection is loosened or severed, your Penis will drop off.

如果這種連接鬆動或切斷，你的陰莖就會掉下來。

Loosen if you spend the next 80 plus years gently tugging on your Penis, pulling it from your body, this will cause the skin to become more elastic.

松如果你用80多年的時間輕輕拉動你的陰莖，把它從你的身體里拉出來，這樣會使皮膚變得更有彈性。

If, at the same time you exposed the area where your shaft connects to your body, too harsh winds and cold, the skin connecting your shaft will begin to dry and flake.

如果，你同時暴露在陽具與身體連接的地方，過於刺骨的風和寒冷，連接陽具的皮膚就會開始乾燥、脫屑。

If you do not moisturize that area, the flakes will start to peel off.

如果你不對該部位進行保溼，皮屑就會開始脫落。

And if at that same time, you contract whooping cough and do not have access to modern medicine, the continual contractions from your abdomen will shake all the flaking skin off your shaft and cause your Penis to naturally pop off.

而如果在同一時間，你感染了百日咳，又得不到現代醫學的治療，腹部的持續收縮會把你陰莖上的脫皮全部抖落，使你的陰莖自然彈落。

比方說，你從來不碰你的陰莖。

It's perfectly connected to the rest of your body.

它與你身體的其他部位完美地連接在一起。

If you happen to score tickets to the zoo and are given the privilege of entering the gorilla cage.

如果你碰巧買到了動物園的門票，並獲得了進入大猩猩籠子的特權。

Perhaps you've befriended the zookeeper or have won a contest.

也許你已經和動物園管理員交好了，或者贏得了比賽。

If on that day you wear loose fitting sweatpants that have gotten thin from years of where And the gorilla is a female who is in heat and sees the outline of your Penis from your very thin sweats, she could wrap her fingers and opposable thumb around the shaft of your Penis.

如果那天你穿的是寬鬆的運動褲，由於多年的哪裡而變得很薄，而大猩猩是一個發情的雌性，從你很薄的運動褲中看到了你陰莖的輪廓，她可以用手指和可對立的拇指包住你陰莖的軸。

At which point a simple tug from the lady gorilla can pull your Penis clean off.

這時，只要大猩猩小姐輕輕一拉，就能把你的陰莖拉得乾乾淨淨。

你不是一個大猩猩的人，好嗎？

Let's say we take the gorilla out of the equation and instead put you in the cage with the boat construct.

比如說，我們把大猩猩從方程中拿出來，而把你和船的構造放在籠子裡。

It wraps itself around the shaft of your Penis, cuts off the oxygen and blood flow.

它包裹著你的陰莖，切斷氧氣和血液流動。

Let's say you're never at the zoo, but instead are running through brush and run past an incredibly strong blade of grass.

比方說，你從來沒有去過動物園，而是在灌木叢中奔跑，跑過一片無比堅固的草叢。

You jump in just in time for the rope to wrap around your Penis.

你跳進去的時候，正好繩子纏住了你的陰莖。

They dropped the rope, but at the same time, too ornery hawks scoop down.

他們丟掉了繩子，但同時，太過矯情的鷹也舀了下來。

怎麼樣有沒有院子，有沒有草。

You're in a barren wasteland of sand and dust.

你身處在一片沙塵瀰漫的荒原上。

You decided to lie down, face towards the ground.

Unbeknownst to you, right under you is a tiny sinkhole, small, single diameter.

你不知道，就在你的腳下，有一個小小的天坑，很小，直徑單一。

3.66 inches for flaccid Penis and 4.59 inches if sleep makes you hard.

陰莖鬆弛時為3.66英寸，如果睡覺讓你硬起來，則為4.59英寸。

Hey, it happens to some people, and that's fine.

嘿，它發生在一些人身上，這很好。

Let's say you fall asleep and lay there for 36 hours.

比如說你睡著了，躺在那裡36小時。

That sinkhole will suck your Penis off those air.

那個天坑會把你的老二從那些空氣中吸走。

Just five scenarios that are very likely.

So in conclusion, yes, your Penis can fall off.

所以綜上所述，是的，你的陰莖是可以脫落的。

I'm expert Natasha, and your worst fear has been confirmed.

我是專家娜塔莎，你最擔心的事情已經被證實了。

Can you get pregnant from sitting on your boyfriend's lap 100%.

And here's how you're sitting on your boyfriend's lap, face to face.

而你就是這樣坐在男友的腿上，面對面的。

The manufacturer of the genes made an error, but too much space in between the buttons.

基因的製造商犯了一個錯誤，但按鈕之間的空間太大。

This leaves a gap wide enough for the tip of the Penis to poke at its little head.

這樣一來，就會留出一條足夠大的縫隙，讓陰莖的頂端戳到它的小腦袋。

Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend is not wearing underwear.

你不知道，你的男朋友沒有穿內褲。

The window in the living room is slightly ajar because it's springtime and a dandelion petals flies in.

客廳的窗戶微微打開，因為正值春天，一片蒲公英的花瓣飛了進來。

He sneezes 0.8% of men orgasm when they sneeze.

He's one of those men as he sneezes, his body contracts and pushes your crotch so it is directly above the hole where his Penis pokes out of his button fly.

他是那種男人，當他打噴嚏時，他的身體會收縮，並推動你的胯部，使它直接位於他的陰莖從他的鈕釦飛出的洞口之上。

Now, if you're a woman who has ever sat on a surface other than 100% cotton, the crotch of your pants is filled with microscopic holes.

現在，如果你是一個曾經坐在100%純棉以外的表面上的女人，你的褲襠裡充滿了微孔。

If one of those pant holes lines up with the exposed tip of your boyfriend's Penis, no penetration necessary.

如果其中一個褲孔與你男友的陰莖裸露的頂端對上了，就不需要插入了。

Let's say you're on your boyfriend's lap, but upside down your crotches all the way up by his face because you're showing him what you learned in yoga class.

比方說，你趴在男友的腿上，但是倒立著，你的胯部一直在他的臉上，因為你在向他展示你在瑜伽課上學到的東西。

Unbeknownst to you, he has Pyrenees disease, a disease that causes a man's Penis to curve over 60 degrees.

你不知道，他得了比利牛斯病，這種病會導致男人的陰莖彎曲超過60度。

Such a drastic curve causes the sperm to shoot out of his button fly and all the way over your body until gravity forces the sperm back down to Earth, where it lands right in your vagina.

這樣一個急劇的曲線導致精子從他的鈕釦飛射而出，一直飛過你的身體，直到重力將精子逼回地球，落在你的陰道里。

Let's say you're nowhere near your boyfriend's lap.

比方說，你現在離你男朋友的大腿遠著呢。

You're sitting across the room talking about something unsexy well, like magnets or roofers in your area.

你坐在房間的另一邊談論一些不性感的東西好了，比如磁鐵或你們地區的屋頂工人。

But you live in a region of the country plagued by cold fronts and a low pressure system.

但你住在一個被冷鋒和低壓系統困擾的地區。

Outside your window, a southerly wind of 15 MPH changes to a south westerly winds of 50 MPH at 5000 ft altitude.

在你的窗外，15英里/小時的南風會在5000英尺的高度變成50英里/小時的南西風。

Now you've got a tornado right outside your window.

現在你的窗外就有一場龍捲風。

Both of you get sucked into the wind vortex in the eye of the tornado.

你們兩個都會被吸進龍捲風眼裡的風渦。

All of your clothes, a rip off and the wind sends your body onto his lap.

你所有的衣服，一扯，風把你的身體送到他的腿上。

The pull of the vortex creates a suction around your boyfriend's Penis and sucks him right off to completion.

漩渦的拉力會在你男友的陰莖周圍產生一個吸力，並將他吸得一乾二淨。

The semen is pulled out of his body and onto your lap.

精液從他的身體裡被拉出來，放到你的腿上。

You're in the ocean, swimming alone, but you get picked up by a riptide.

你一個人在海里游泳，卻被海浪捲走了。

You spent years surviving on Berries and wild game.

你多年來靠著漿果和野味生存。

But one night, ah, pair of pants washes up on shore.

但是有一天晚上，啊，一條褲子被衝上了岸。

You haven't seen another humans closing years.

你還沒有看到另一個人類關閉多年。

You don't know what to Dio, so you sit on them, you naked their pants.

你不知道什麼迪奧，所以你坐在他們身上，你脫光他們的褲子。

Those pants were last worn by a man who threw them in the ocean after he dry humped to completion.

那條褲子最後是一個人穿的，他在幹駝完成後把它扔進了海里。

The saltwater has preserved the semen, and now you're pregnant with some other woman's boyfriend's baby.

鹽水已經保存了精液，現在你又懷上了別的女人男朋友的孩子。

In conclusion, you will get pregnant by sitting on your boyfriend's lap.

總之，坐在男友腿上就會懷孕。

I'm Dr Natasha Vein blot, and your worst fear has been confirmed.

我是娜塔莎醫生 靜脈斑點，你最擔心的事情已經被證實了。

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雜草，懷孕，陰莖和更多。你最擔心的事情被證實了 (Weed, Pregnancy, Penises & More: Your Worst Fears Confirmed)

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