rich for generations, whatever.

And since I made my own money, they do find that impressive.

Yeah, yeah yeah.

Like a magic trick.

Well, doing like a back handspring

on a balance beam is impressive, too.

Every time I'm with rich people,

I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio on the Titanic.

That's what I feel like.

That's what I smell like.

Mm-hmm.

Hi, it's me, Trixie Mattel.

And I'm Katya.

And we are two queens who like to watch.

Today we have the distinct pleasure

of watching Bling Empire, a new Netflix original

that follows the lives of some crazy rich Asians

as they navigate billionaire stuff in Los Angeles.

Can I say that I think the word "bling" is gauche?

Yeah, it's tacky.

Kind of like...

Like...

Spoiler alert, they're all rich, and they're all crazy.

And they're all Asian, yeah.

I heard this show is sort of a marriage

of the magic of Crazy Rich Asians,

meets the drama of Selling Sunset.

So, I would like to see it.

Back in Philadelphia,

I was one of the only Asian people growing up.

- I was always the first-- - Ooh, Kevin,

with a face like that, your hardships?

They're not real.

They haven't existed, and I don't believe it.

I'm having a hard time tapping into the sympathy,

but you never know, let's see.

Kevin's a model.

Super good-looking.

I'll get you some stuff.

Wait, hold the phone.

We need to examine the anatomy of that face.

- The cheeks. - The cheeks!

He just keep rolls of quarters in there, or what?

Listen, I'm fine with it.

We are no stranger, our whole friend group

is held together by paperclips.

Modulated.

So we're fine with it, but I'm just saying,

we have to acknowledge it.

That's why we call it Mandarin.

- What is this? - Look at that, come on.

I look like I'm a Chinese--

[Trixie] Look at that shoe wall.

[Katya] That looks like the clearance section at DSW.

If I was that rich, I'd have a closet that's very deep,

and then people lay in them.

Hold them.

- Hold them. - Hold them.

Lot of muscular endurance.

[Trixie] Kevin is beautiful.

[Katya] Yeah, he's really hot.

My husband, Dr. Chiu, he is 24th generation,

direct descent of the Song dynasty.

[Trixie] What?

If dynasties were still in existence,

my husband's father would be an emperor.

[Katya] He's got that good old blood.

I would want bigger, I want more power.

I'm like, "This is my husband Chang Su.

He's the emperor of the underworld,

and every 100 years, there's a mortal combat,

and he steals souls."

You're going all Chanel tonight, huh?

[Trixie] What about people who have jewelry

laid out in those dramatic boxes?

You're just asking to be robbed, I feel like.

Mine is literally, it is in a trash bag

and they're all clumped together and tangled.

No earring has a back to it.

I moved to Los Angeles to chase a boy.

[Katya] Just young, and hot, and wet.

"You guys are gonna be showering?

Okay, we'll be right over.

We're gonna film you guys kissing in the shower."

Meanwhile, for drag, the story people are like,

"Please don't tell us to come in until you are fully clothed."

- Yeah. - “Please.”

"Can you give us some advance warning?

The camera guy's throwing up."

“We can't afford two lunches today.”

- Bleh. - Yeah.

Trust has always been an issue.

Am I the baby?

Yeah, you're the baby.

[Trixie] If I'm in a relationship

and you tell me I'm the baby?

[Katya] You better get ready

for that diaper to be (beep) in.

(Beep) down the legs.

I want a rattle, I want a nookie, I want lah lah lah.

I'm up all night.

All night.

I'm teething, yeah.

My ex-husband was arrested, and he was running

one of the largest cyber scams--

[Katya] Cyber scammer.

Nothing hot and cool and lucrative ever happens to me.

I'm lucky if I go to Beaches in West Hollywood

and they let me cut the line.

[Katya] Yeah.

I only want to date for love now.

- Is that even possible? - “Date for love.”

Grow up, (beep).

“Katya has entered the chat.”

She's either bored, or won't accept

that there's not a door where a door needs to be,

so she's just knocking that wall down.

I truly relate.

Anyone's family that makes like weapons and tanks,

you don't wanna mess with them.

Her dad owned an arms company, which is very lucrative

because hey, everyone has 'em.

Right.

[Trixie] By the way, she needs to work on her upper body.

How many swings to get through drywall, Mary?

[Katya] She's all passion, no technique.

I mean, they're strong women,

but they don't seem like strong women.

I'm surprised she knew which end to use.

Do you like shows showing the lives

of extremely rich people?

I don't, because I think that I judge the kind of person

who would willingly and enthusiastically

want that kind of wealth.

And ultimately, you see people who are this rich,

and it is often a reminder that like,

money doesn't glue much back together.

In fact, usually these shows are successful

because these rich people's lives are in total shambles.

- Deep fractures. - Yeah.

- But we're not here to read. - No!

We're just observing,

because we are highly adjusted people.

Very well adjusted, highly functioning,

totally mentally healthy.

Never had a problem.

We've never had any hardships, no.

Me and Drew fight here and there,

but that's every couple, right?

[Katya] Rich people, they're just like us.

It's just so disalarming for me--

- It's disalarming. - Disalarming, yeah.

Oh no, not a photo shoot.

Well, this is moments before that chopper

just decapitated him.

Would you ever do like a lifestyle photo shoot like this?

Yeah, as a joke.

I don't even like taking pictures out of drag.

No, I never do.

If I didn't do drag, people would be like,

- "No one knows how to reach him." - Yeah.

"Also, no one knows what he looks like."

Yeah.

"No one's seen him."

- "No one even knows him." - Yeah.

You guys like it?

Wow, Kim.

Give me some arch.

[Trixie] I would look like

a Ninja (beep) Turtle in that outfit.

They need to really up the stakes, you know?

Smoke bombs, animals, you know what I mean?

She gets her whole family and friends to take a picture,

and she goes, "Are you guys ready?"

And then the chopper goes by, and she reaches up,

grabs the ladder, and just (beep)ing flies away

and they're like, "This is your phone!"

And you learn later on that she's been training

with Navy SEALs for the past six months in order to do that.

I love the relationship I have with my mom.

Show your skin.

"Show us your clam!"

Stand, like...

Like how, you show me then!

She is glam.

This does have some Kris Jenner and Kim vibes right now.

Totally.

The mom's gonna get totally naked and be like.

The mom's gonna be like,

"I want you to do it more like this."

[Katya] Yeah.

"Take it out and tweak it.

And cheat out."

- "And tweak it." - "Really get that nipple hard."

- [Trixie] "I want you to penetrate skin

with your fingernail."

All right, so these folks are going to Las Vegas,

and they're talking about what would happen

if they were potentially cut off from their families.

That looks so cute with your--

[Trixie] I love that yellow jacket!

- That's cute. - Really cute!

I love it.

This much wealth, and just shopping?

Like haven't you exhausted all those resources?

Also, shopping isn't as thrilling as stealing.

Stealing, or like hunting human beings for sport.

Yeah, doing a quick stabbing.

Meet me halfway here.

You're 21 now.

Does your dad want you to work?

Because my dad's being super tough on me right now.

[Trixie] She's ready to go

full barbershop quartet with that hat.

♪ Bah dah dah doom, bah dah dah ♪

Yep.

♪ I was sailing along ♪

♪ On Moonlight Bay ♪

Yeah, she looks like the Babadook.

How was your dad like, growing up, Christine?

Yeah, I've never heard you mention your parents.

It's a really long story, but I was basically cut off.

[Trixie] Come on!

You're gonna wear that hat

and then hold back on the personal details?

"It's just really personal, I can't talk about it.

However, I will do this reality show

where I flaunt my wealth."

I know, she's like, "I can't get into this right now.

I have to do my colonial reenactment, goodbye."

- Cheers to daddy issues! - Cheers to issues.

What would happen to people like this

if they did get cut off?

Would they know how to cook a box of macaroni and cheese,

or like--

No, I feel like they'd die of dehydration at home

or something, you know what I mean?

'Cause there's no servant there to mist them

like a house plant, and they don't know

how to drink water anymore,

and they're just like...

Today is Baby G's first birthday party.

I guess you could celebrate baby's birthdays

like, "Ah, he's one.

- I only got 17 more years!" - Right.

[Trixie] We're counting 'em down, folks.

Virtual reality, a Gucci claw machine.

Never had my face plastered on something like that.

[Katya] He'll probably have a heroin problem

by five years old.

The great thing about this kid is,

he's gonna be able to go to school,

and make friends very easily

because his life is just like everyone else's.

He's gonna be able to relate

to so many people in so many ways.

This is serious to them,

and that's why it's fun to make fun of.

Think of the scale, the scope

that these people could have in terms of problems.

They could be arguing over who's gonna save Flint, Michigan.

Yeah, totally.