There's no law about that.

沒有法律規定。

I love being a woman.

我喜歡做一個女人。

Probably generated always look like that.

可能生成總是這樣的樣子。

She used to look like this.

她以前是這樣的

A nice, normal girl on what she's done is convinced other nice, normal girls that she made her face go from this to this via a lipstick that only she says just to let you in on something.

一個善良正常的女孩在她所做的事情上，是讓其他善良正常的女孩相信，她通過一支只有她說的口紅讓自己的臉從這個變成了這個樣子，只是為了讓你知道一些事情。

I'm wearing that lipstick right now.

我現在就塗著那支口紅。

No one told me that I was gonna grow a beard.

沒有人告訴我，我是要去長鬍子。

No one told me.

沒有人告訴我。

I found out that I had one on my second date with my boyfriend.

我是在和男友第二次約會的時候發現自己有一個。

He said very politely, You've got a just that Ah, hair e thought Well, this is a second date.

他很有禮貌地說，你有一個剛剛那個啊，發e想嗯，這是第二次約會。

This could be very embarrassing, but I decided I would style it out.

這可能是非常尷尬的，但我決定我會風格出來。

You know, be the strong, confident woman he met.

你知道的，做他遇到的那個堅強、自信的女人。

So I leaned into him and I went, Go on, babe, get it.

於是我靠在他身上，我說，去吧，寶貝，去吧。

And he said, Which one ast women.

他說，哪一個是女人。

We never do anything wrong.

我們從不做錯事。

Do the ladies e Well, they love me.

女生們都喜歡我嗎？

E never do nothing wrong Eyes.

E從不做錯事，眼睛。

What we do is psychological trauma but it z not illegal.

我們做的是心理創傷，但這並不違法。

It is totally undetectable.

完全無法察覺。

I sold £42,000.

我賣了42000英鎊。

Where for tickets.

在哪裡買票。

Last year.

去年。

I made minus £3500 I.

我賺了負3500英鎊一。

But the main reason is is because if you'll see that's a 6.4 wind sequence sign with my name on it that now lives at the end of my bed, which my boyfriend is thrilled about.

但最主要的原因是，如果你看到那是一個6.4的風序牌，上面有我的名字，現在就住在我的床頭，我男朋友很激動。

I could tell you that's my boyfriend.

我可以告訴你這是我的男朋友。

There, in a more suit dresses a hot air balloon.

在那裡，穿著更西裝革履的熱氣球。

Hey was free on The reason it was expensive is because that's a gay on a piano.

嘿，是免費的，之所以貴，是因為那是鋼琴上的同志。

And you know what?

你知道嗎？

Gays are expensive because they know they're worth.

同志們之所以貴，是因為他們知道自己的價值。

I've realized that when you take yourself seriously, you need to like research things to do with yourself and I'm fat.

我已經意識到，當你認真對待自己的時候，你需要喜歡研究與自己有關的事情，我很胖。

It's fine.

沒事的

I went onto the Internet and I started to write fat acceptance, but actually they've changed that word.

我上了網，開始寫胖子接受，但其實他們已經改了這個詞。

It's now called Body Positivity, so we let the skinny girls get involved.

現在叫 "身體正能量"，所以我們讓瘦弱的女孩參與進來。

Welcome thing.

歡迎的事情。

Have you seen these eyebrows on these kids?

你看到這些孩子的眉毛了嗎？

Of course you have.

當然，你有。

You got Google ER, if you could just find them things is what the girls want their eyebrows to look like, but unfortunately, this is what they actually know.

你得到了谷歌ER，如果你能找到他們的東西是什麼女孩希望他們的眉毛看起來，但不幸的是，這是他們實際上知道。

I don't run.

我不跑。

I don't even running my own nightmares.

我連自己的噩夢都不跑了。

I'm being chased by a man with a knife getting stabbed in every single one of my dreams.

我在每一個夢裡都被一個拿著刀子的人追殺，被刺傷。

E C.

E C．

M.

M.

A feminist all the time to get that stuff mainly.

一個女權主義者一直以得到這些東西為主。

But sometimes I'm not one when it's my turn to go with shops in the rain.

但有時輪到我和商店在雨中走的時候，我卻不是一個人。

I'm not a feminist.

我不是一個女權主義者。

Then he's like, Got the shops, It's your turn and I'm like me but I'm just a little dainty ballet lady.

然後他就說，拿到了商店，輪到你了，我就像我一樣，但我只是一個小嬌滴滴的芭蕾舞女郎。

Everyone loves us.

大家都喜歡我們。

Yeah, Wow!

是啊，哇！

Used to remember what it's like everywhere.

曾經記得各地的情況。

Late nineties.

九十年代末。

Everyone loved him.

每個人都喜歡他。

If you wanted to sell a product, you you know, you just strap like soft porn or the idea of someone.

如果你想賣產品，你知道，你只是帶像軟色情或某人的想法。

Men might get laid now by it, but it's all different now.

現在的男人可能會被它搞到手，但現在都不一樣了。

Things have changed.

事情已經發生了變化。

It's all about inspirational porn.

都是關於勵志色情的。

If you strap a good deed to a product, people will buy it like this bottle, right?

如果你把好事綁在產品上，人們就會像這個瓶子一樣買它，對嗎？

I bought it so I wouldn't buy plastic bottles, but I keep forgetting it, and I bought seven.

我買它是為了不買塑料瓶，但我一直忘記了，我買了七個。

I'm not sure if that's what they want.

我不知道這是不是他們想要的。

Paris Hilton appointed Kim Kardashians air stylists But as we can see by the clothes that Paris Hilton was wearing back then, I don't think a lot of styling was going on.

帕麗斯-希爾頓任命金-卡戴珊的空中造型師但是從帕麗斯-希爾頓當時穿的衣服就可以看出，我覺得當時並沒有進行很多造型設計。

I think they were probably doing much more than styling here.

我想他們在這裡做的可能遠不止是造型。

They are doing much more than styling on all this time I've been doing comedy.

他們在我做喜劇的這段時間裡，做的遠遠不止是造型。

I thought What I've been doing, like the position on stage I've been doing and was the best one thing.

我覺得我一直在做的事情，比如說我在舞臺上的位置，是最好的一件事情。

One walking up and down, looking a bit confident, showing numerous every now and again to show vulnerability.

一個人走起路來，顯得有些自信，時不時地露出無數的脆弱。

E O.

E O.

I thought it was this, you know, But apparently as a feminist in 2019, that's the wrong position to take his.

我以為是這樣，你知道，但顯然作為2019年的女權主義者，這是錯誤的立場，採取他的。

According to Beyonce, when I went to see her show, I should have done the entire show so far Thistles, a photo shoot where they got all these actresses that are older and stuff.

根據碧昂絲的說法，當我去看她的節目時，我應該做了整個節目，到目前為止薊，他們得到了所有這些女演員的照片，這些女演員的年齡和東西。

And they made them all where, like, black turtlenecks, they look great.

他們把它們都做成了黑色的高領衫，看起來很不錯。

But what I love about this is they all got the memo.

但我喜歡的是，他們都得到了備忘錄。

Aled, these ladies, right?

阿萊德，這些女士們，對嗎？

But then when Helen Mirren got the memo, she said, This is a faras I'm going on.

但當海倫-米倫收到備忘錄後，她說，這是我要去的法拉斯。

We're taking down the bad men, aren't we?

我們要幹掉壞人，對吧？

girls?

姑娘們？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Lows of men that I fucked up.

谷底的男人，我搞砸了。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Who does?

誰？

China is actually the accent with China.

中國其實是與中國的口音。

They say it's us women to rile us all up.

他們說是我們這些女人把我們都激怒了。

But it's not us.

但這不是我們。

It's not even white guys.

甚至不是白人。

It's just China.

這只是中國。

Women are funny.

女人很有趣。

Your wife must have a sense of humor.

你老婆一定很有幽默感。

She's seen you naked.

她看過你的裸體。

Uh, I don't like you.

呃，我不喜歡你。

Come back.

回來吧

Do I call you or do I just commit a crime?

我是給你打電話，還是直接犯罪？

Probably committing a crime would get me to Ukraine.

可能犯罪會讓我去烏克蘭。

This is me at my most invited.

這是我最被邀請的時候。

Thank you and good night.

謝謝你，晚安。