Ooh ah! Ooh! I like it! I like it!

哦啊！哦！我喜歡它！我喜歡它！

The one thing I wanted to be in life with all of my vagina,

我一生中最想做的一件事就是用我所有的陰道。

the one thing I wanted to be was a hoe.

我最想做的事就是做個妓女。

Every group of girls has a hoe friend.

每一群女孩都有一個鋤頭朋友。

And if you don't have a hoe friend,

而如果你沒有鋤頭朋友。

that's because you are the hoe friend.

那是因為你是鋤頭朋友。

A lot of my friends have kids.

我的很多朋友都有孩子。

It's always the basic ones that find love first.

先找到愛情的總是基本的。

They always look at me and they're like

他們總是看著我，他們就像。

“London, you need to go out there. Go out.

"倫敦，你需要出去。出去吧。

You'll find a single guy in a club.”

你會在俱樂部裡找到一個單身漢。"

You got more chance of finding a black girl

你有更多的機會找到一個黑人女孩

in a Judd Apatow movie.

在賈德-阿帕圖的電影中。

Think about it.

仔細想想吧

Male comics get treated like gods.

男漫畫家被當做神一樣看待。

You don't have to be good looking.

你不一定要長得好看。

You don't even have to have money,

你甚至不需要有錢。

but women will f**k you if you're funny.

但如果你有趣的話，女人就會和你上床。

It does not work the other way around.

反之則不行。

My dating history looks like a who's who of Uber drivers.

我的約會史就像Uber司機的名人錄一樣

I found a rare white guy in the wild.

我在野外發現了一個罕見的白色傢伙。

He was a bit kinky. He was a bit freaky.

他是一個有點古怪的。他是一個有點怪異。

He was a bit weird. Okay.

他是一個有點怪異。好吧，我知道了

And one day he came in from work and he was like

有一天，他下班回來，他就像

“How sexually free are you?”

"你的性自由度如何？"

And I was like, "Well here's the thing.

我當時想，"好吧，這裡的東西。

I got sacked from a major porn channel,

我被一個大型色情頻道解僱了。

and I sucked d**k for shoes.

而我卻為了鞋子而吸吮d**k。

I'm as sexually free as can be."

我在性方面儘可能的自由。"

Have you ever role played?

你玩過角色扮演嗎？

I was like, "No, I'm a black woman.

我當時就說："不，我是個黑女人。

The role I'm playing is hard enough."

我所扮演的角色已經很辛苦了。"