WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

TODAY WAS THE FIRST FULL DAY ON THE JOB FOR PRESIDENT BIDEN.

今天是比登主席上任後的第一個全天。

OH -- OH, I'VE GOT TO SAY, THAT DOES FEEL GOOD ON THE TONGUE --

哦... 哦，我得說，這確實是感覺很好的舌頭 -

PRESIDENT BIDEN.

比登主席：

IT'S LIKE LICKING FROSTING RIGHT OFF THE SPATULA.

就像在鏟子上舔霜一樣。

(OVER-ARTICULATING) PREZZZIDENT BIIIDEN NEEEVEER

(過熱)PREZZZIDENT BIIIDEN NEEEVEER（過熱）。

BAAAANKRUPPTED A CAAAASINOO.

BAAAANKRUPPTED A CAAAASINOO。

THE FIRST DAY OF ANY JOB IS STRESSFUL, ESPECIALLY WHEN

任何工作的第一天都是緊張的，尤其是在以下情況下。

YOU'RE THE NEW MANAGER, AND THE LAST GUY GOT CALLED INTO HR

你是新經理，最後一個人被叫進了人力資源部。

FOR "INAPPROPRIATE WORKPLACE TREASONING."

對於 "不正當的工作場所財物"。

HE WAS ME-COUP'D.

他是我的伴侶。

BUT THIS NEW ADMINISTRATION HAS AN UNPRECEDENTED TO-DO LIST,

但是，這個新的行政機構有一個無預設的待辦事項清單。

WHICH BIDEN LAID OUT IN HIS INAUGURAL ADDRESS: THE VIRUS,

這是比登在就職演說中提出的。病毒：

CLIMATE CHANGE, GROWING INEQUALITY, RACISM, AMERICA'S

氣候變化, 日益加劇的不平等, 種族主義, 美利堅合眾國

GLOBAL STANDING, AND AN ATTACK ON TRUTH AND DEMOCRACY.

全球立場，以及對真理和民主的攻擊。

IT'S LIKE THE NEW FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE, WITH TWO

這就像新的四騎士的啟示錄，與兩個

BONUS HORSES!

額外的馬！

YOU'VE GOT WAR, FAMINE, PESTILENCE, DEATH, PLUS GLOBAL

你已經有了戰爭，飢餓，瘟疫，死亡，再加上全球性的。

WARMING, AND YOUR UNCLE CARL.

暖，和你的卡爾叔叔。

THE HORSE IN THE LEAD IS PESTILENCE.

領頭的馬是瘟疫。

BECAUSE THE PANDEMIC IS WORSE THAN EVER.

因為恐慌症比以往任何時候都嚴重。

YESTERDAY, THE U.S. RECORDED THE SECOND HIGHEST NUMBER OF COVID

昨天，美國創下了第二高的錄像數量。

DEATHS EVER, AND RIGHT NOW, AMERICANS ARE DYING FASTER OF

有史以來的死亡，而現在，美國人死得更快。

COVID-19 THAN OUR SOLDIERS DID IN WORLD WAR II.

比我們的阿兵哥在第二次世界大戰中的表現還要好。

ONLY TO WIN THAT CONFLICT, WE HAD TO GET THE FASCISTS OUT OF

為了贏得這場衝突，我們必須把法西斯趕出去。

THE GERMAN CAPITAL.

德國首都：

SO TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN SIGNED TEN EXECUTIVE ORDERS TO GET HIS

所以今天，比登總統簽署了十項行政命令，讓他的。

PANDEMIC PLAN ROLLING, INCLUDING A REQUIREMENT FOR MASKS WHILE

PANDEMIC PLAN ROLLING，包括對面具的要求。

TRAVELING, STUDIES AND TRIALS OF COVID-19 TREATMENTS, AND MORE

COVID-19療法的旅行、研究和試驗，以及更多內容

PUBLIC DATA ON CASES AND VACCINATIONS.

關於病例和疫苗的公開數據：

IT'S A NEW STRATEGY THE WHITE HOUSE IS CALLING "OPERATION:

白宮稱之為 "行動 "的新策略。

WELL, DUH!" ONE EXECUTIVE ORDER IS AIMED AT

好吧，咄！"一項行政命令的目標是：

MAKING IT SAFER TO GO TO WORK, BY DIRECTING OSHA TO PUBLISH

通過訓示OSHA公佈，使上班更安全。

WORKER SAFETY GUIDELINES.

工人安全指南；

THAT MEANS MASKS IN BREAK ROOMS, HAND SANITIZER AT THE DOORWAYS,

這意味著在休息室的口罩，門口的洗手液。

AND CHIPOTLE WILL CANCEL ITS POPULAR "BOBBING FOR GUAC."

和CHIPOTLE將取消我流行的 "BOBBING FOR GUAC"。

"YES, IT'S EXTRA."

"是的，這是額外的。"

AND THE BEST PART IS, THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION IS GOING TO KEEP

最重要的是，比登政府將繼續保持。

US INFORMED ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE DOING, WITH REGULAR EXPERT-LED

告知我們他們正在做的事情，並提供定期的專家指導。

SCIENCE-BASED PUBLIC BRIEFINGS.

以科學為基礎的公共簡報。

WHICH WILL BE A NICE CHANGE FROM MORON-LED, CLOROX-BASED,

這將是一個很好的變化，從MORON-LED，CLOROX-BASED。

DEXAMETHASONE RAMBLINGS.

DEXAMETHASONE RAMBLINGS。

TODAY, WE HEARD FROM A MAN SO DEDICATED TO PROPER

今天，我們聽到了一個人如此執著地致力於公益事業。

STERILIZATION TECHNIQUES THAT HE'S THE ONLY ONE TO EMERGE FROM

他是唯一一個從這裡走出來的人。

THE LAST ADMINISTRATION NOT COVERED IN THE STENCH OF

最後一個未被列入《聯合國憲章》的政府。

FAILURE, DR. ANTHONY FAUCI.

FAILURE, DR.ANTHONY FAUCI.

FAUCI SAYS HE'S GETTING ONE SPECIFIC QUESTION ABOUT THE NEW

FAUCI說他得到了一個關於新的具體問題。

COVID STRAINS THAT HAVE APPEARED IN THE U.K. AND SOUTH AFRICA.

在英國和南非出現的COVID病毒。

>> WHAT IS IT ABOUT THESE MUTANTS THAT YOU ARE HEARING

>> 你聽到的這些變種人是怎麼回事？

ABOUT?

關於?

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S AUDITIONING FOR THE

>> 好吧，這聽起來像是他在為 "我 "做試音。

NEXT "X-MEN" MOVIE.

下一部《X戰警》電影。

(AS FAUCI) "WHAT ARE THESE MUTANTS WE HEAR

(AS FAUCI) "我們聽到的這些變種人是什麼？"。

ABOUT?

關於?

WHY WON'T PROFESSOR X RELEASE HIS STUDENT BODY LIST?

為什麼X教授不公佈他的學生名單？

IF HE'S GOT RAZOR-SHARP KNIVES IN HIS HANDS, WHY DOESN'T

如果他的手有鋒利的刀，為什麼沒有？

WOLVERINE HAVE A CLOSER SHAVE?

狼獾有一個更接近的鬍子？

ONE GUY'S NAME IS CYCLOPS AND HE'S GOT TWO EYES?

一個人的名字叫CYCLOPS，他有兩隻眼睛？

NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!" NEXT QUESTION.

這一切都沒有意義！"下一個問題。

FAUCI TOUCHED ON HOW THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE DIFFERS FROM THE

FAUCI談比登白宮如何區別於以往的白宮。

LAST ONE, AND HE THREW SOME SHADE.

最後一個，他扔了一些陰影。

>> ONE OF THE NEW THINGS IN THIS ADMINISTRATION, IF YOU DON'T

>> 本屆政府的新事物之一，如果你不知道。

HAVE THE ANSWER, DON'T GUESS.

有答案，不要猜。

JUST SAY YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER.

就說你不知道答案。

>> STEPHEN: DR. FAUCI?

>> 博士：FAUCI？

MORE LIKE DOCTOR OUCH-IE!

更多的是像ochie醫生！

BECAUSE THAT WAS A BURN!

因為那是一次燒傷！

ME-YOW!

我--哇！

YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE UP AN ANSWER

你不需要編造答案。

TO "HOW DOES TONY FEEL ABOUT THE PREVIOUS PRESIDENT," BECAUSE THE

對 "TONY對前任主席有何看法 "的問題，因為...。

D.N.A. TEST CAME BACK AND HE'S 100% THAT (BLEEP)!

D.N.A. TEST TEST CAME BACK AND HE'S 100% THAT (BLEEP)!

THE GOOD DOCTOR MADE IT CLEAR, HE IS GLAD TO BE DONE DEALING

好醫生說得很清楚，他很高興結束交易。

WITH THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION.

與上屆政府一起。

>> I TAKE NO PLEASURE AT ALL IN BEING IN A SITUATION OF

>> 我對處於這樣的境地一點也不感到高興。

CONTRADICTING THE PRESIDENT.

對抗主席，

SO IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T FEEL YOU COULD ACTUALLY

所以這真的是一件你不覺得你能做的事嗎？

SAY SOMETHING AND THERE WOULDN'T BE REPERCUSSIONS ABOUT IT.

說點什麼，就不會有評論了。

THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN GET UP HERE AND TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU

你可以站在這裡談論你的想法。

KNOW AND WHAT THE EVIDENCE-- WHAT THE SCIENCE IS, AND KNOW

知道什麼是證據--什麼是科學，知道

THAT'S IT.

這就是它。

LET THE SCIENCE SPEAK.

讓科學說話。

IT IS SOMEWHAT OF A LIBERATING FEELING.

它是某種程度上的一種解放的感覺。

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT, HE CAN JUST LET THE SCIENCE SPEAK.

>> 沒錯，他可以讓科學來說話。

FOR EXAMPLE: NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM.

例如：自然厭惡真空。

AND LIKE A VACUUM, THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION SUCKED.

就像一個吸塵器一樣，前一屆政府很糟糕。

MEOW!

喵！

EVEN THOUGH THE LAST PRESIDENT CLEARLY WASN'T IMPLEMENTING

儘管上一任總統顯然沒有執行。

THEIR VACCINATION PLAN VERY WELL, BIDEN'S TEAM WERE HESITANT

他們的疫苗接種計劃非常好，比登的團隊是猶豫的

TO CRITICIZE THEM, BECAUSE THEY WERE "ALREADY HAVING A HARD TIME

責備他們，因為他們 "已經過了一段艱難的日子"。

GETTING CRITICAL INFORMATION AND COOPERATION FROM THE OUTGOING

從即將到來的會議上獲得關鍵資訊和合作。

ADMINISTRATION."

行政管理。"

THEY HAD TO BE NICE SO WHEN THEY GOT THERE, THE PREVIOUS FOLKS

他們必須是好的，所以當他們到了那裡，以前的人，

WOULD LEAVE THEM THEIR PLAN!

會把他們的計劃留給他們！

WELL, YESTERDAY, BIDEN'S TEAM GOT THE PLAN, AND THEY FOUND OUT

好了，今天，比登的團隊得到了計劃，而且他們發現了

THAT PLAN IS NON-EXISTENT.

這個計劃是不存在的。

SO THEY NEVER HAD A PLAN TO FIX THE WORST PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS

所以他們從來沒有計劃解決最嚴重的公共衛生危機。

IN A CENTURY?

在一個世紀裡？

THAT'S LIKE IF THE "OCEANS 11" HEIST KICKED OFF WITH GEORGE

這就像如果 "海洋11 "搶劫案是由喬治開始的一樣

CLOONEY SAYING THIS: >> THIS IS THE VAULT AT THE

CLOONEY說這。>> 這是在VAULT

BELLAGIO.

BELLAGIO.

I GOT NOTHING.

我什麼都沒有。

LET'S GO!

我們走吧！

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY。

>> STEPHEN: BUT ASSISTANCE IS ON THE WAY, BECAUSE NOW, AMAZON IS

>> 不過，援助正在路上，因為現在，亞馬遜是。

OFFERING TO HELP WITH VACCINE DISTRIBUTION.

願意幫助分發疫苗。

THANK GOD!

謝天謝地！

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET A THREE-FOOT BOX THAT JUST HAS ONE SYRINGE

我等不及要買一個三尺長的盒子，只有一個彈簧的盒子

RATTLING AROUND.

吵吵鬧鬧。

OR BETTER YET, FIRE UP ONE OF THOSE DRONES AND LET IT SHOOT A

或者更好的是，啟動這些無人機中的一個，並讓它拍攝一個。

NEEDLE DIRECTLY INTO MY NECK!

直接在我的脖子上扎針!

UNTIL AMAZON IS READY, JUST TO GET THE VACCINE, PEOPLE ARE

在亞馬遜準備好之前，只要拿到疫苗，人們就會。

TAKING EXTREME RISKS.

冒著極大的風險。

BY WHICH I MEAN, GOING TO FLORIDA.

我的意思是，去佛羅里達州。

PEOPLE FROM OUTSIDE THE STATE ARE COMING TO FLORIDA TO GET

州外的人都來佛羅里達州找工作了

VACCINATED, AN ISSUE THAT'S BEING CALLED VACCINE TOURISM.

VACCINATED，一個問題，被稱為 疫苗旅遊。

IT'S JUST ONE OF THE MANY TYPES OF FLORIDA-SPECIFIC TOURISM.

這只是佛羅里達州特色旅遊的眾多類型之一。

YOU'VE GOT "THEME PARK" TOURISM, "GOLF" TOURISM, AND "DIVORCED

你有 "主題公園 "旅遊，"高爾夫 "旅遊，和 "離婚"。

DAD REALLY GETTING INTO A JIMMY BUFFET PHASE."

爸爸真的進入了一個JIMMY BUFFET階段。"

IT'S POSSIBLE THIS VACCINE TOURISM IS ACTUALLY THE RESULT

這可能是這種疫苗旅遊是實際上的結果。

OF A HUGE OVERSIGHT, BECAUSE UNDER THE STATE'S CURRENT

因為根據國家目前的政策，我認為這是一個巨大的疏忽。

VACCINATION PLAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FROM FLORIDA IN ORDER

疫苗接種計劃，您不必從佛羅里達州來，也可以接種。

TO GET A VACCINE.

去打針。

SEEMS LIKE CHECKING AN ADDRESS WOULD BE IMPORTANT BEFORE

似乎檢查一個地址是很重要的之前

HANDING OUT A VACCINE.

遞出疫苗。

YOU DON'T SEE STRIP CLUB BOUNCERS CHECKING I.D.S AND

你沒有看到脫衣舞俱樂部的保鏢在檢查身份證和

SAYING, "WOW, THIS LOOKS PROFESSIONALLY LAMINATED.

說，"哇，這看起來專業 LAMINATED。

ENJOY THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM, MR. 'JOHN P. LEGAL-AGE'."

好好享受香榭麗舍吧，先生。JOHN P. LEGAL -AGE。"

BUT THE STATE IS CRACKING DOWN, AND NOW PEOPLE WHO SHOW UP FOR

但國家正在崩潰，現在人們誰出現了對。

VACCINES WILL BE ASKED TO SHOW THEIR FLORIDA I.D. IN ORDER TO

疫苗將被要求出示他們的佛羅里達州身份證，以便接種。

GET THE SHOT.

得到的鏡頭。

AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE, YOU CAN PROVE

如果您沒有佛羅里達州的駕照，您可以證明您的駕照。

YOUR RESIDENCY BY SHOWING YOUR TRAMP STAMP OF CALVIN AND THE

通過展示您的卡爾文和他們的旅行印章，您的居住地。

TASMANIAN DEVIL PEEING ON THE NAME OF YOUR EX.

塔斯曼惡魔在你前妻的名字上撒尿。

YESTERDAY'S INAUGURATION WAS A ROUGH DAY FOR MEMBERS OF Q-ANON,

昨天的就職典禮對Q-ANON的成員來說是艱難的一天。

WHICH IS A BIZARRE COLLECTION OF ONLINE CONSPIRACY THEORIES FROM

這是一個瘋狂的收集網上陰謀論的理論，從

A COMPLICATED PLOT CONNECTING UF.O.S AND THE ILLUMINATI TO

將UF.O.S和ILLUMINATI聯繫起來的複雜陰謀。

THE CLAIM THAT CERTAIN CELEBRITIES, ENTREPRENEURS AND

二、關於某些名人、企業家和其他有關人員的索賠的建議

POLITICIANS ARE LIZARD PEOPLE DISGUISED IN HUMAN SKIN.

政治家是披著人皮的蜥蜴人。

OF COURSE, SOME OF THE LIZARDMAN SKIN SUITS ARE LESS CONVINCING

當然，有些蜥蜴人的皮膚套裝不那麼讓人信服了

THAN OTHERS.

比別人多。

YOU MAY KNOW OF Q-ANON THANKS TO THEIR EXTENSIVE PRODUCT

您可能知道Q-ANON，這要歸功於他們豐富的產品。

PLACEMENT AT THE CAPITOL RIOT.

在首都暴動中的安置。

Q-ANON CRAZIES TAKE THEIR MARCHING ORDERS FROM A SHADOWY

Q-非瘋子們從一個陰暗的地方接受他們的行軍令。

ONLINE ANONYMOUS FIGURE NAMED "Q."

網上的匿名人物叫 "Q"。

NO ONE KNOWS HIS OR HER, OR ITS REAL NAME, BUT AUTHORITIES HAVE

沒有人知道他或她或其真名，但權威人士已經。

RELEASED THIS VIDEO OF Q WITH TWO CO-CONSPIRATORS.

發佈了這段Q與同謀的視頻。

Q HAS POSTED THOUSANDS OF CRYPTIC MESSAGES SINCE 2017,

Q自2017年以來，已經發布了數千條CRYPTIC資訊。

CLAIMING AMONG OTHER THINGS THAT THE 45TH PRESIDENT WAS SECRETLY

除其他事項外，還聲稱第45屆主席曾祕密地

SPEARHEADING A SPIRITUAL WAR AGAINST AN ELITE CABAL OF

矛頭指向反對精英集團的精神戰爭。

CHILD-EATING SATANISTS WHO CONTROLLED WASHINGTON, HOLLYWOOD

控制華盛頓、好萊塢的吃小孩的撒旦教徒

AND THE WORLD AND WOULD SOON CORRAL HIS ENEMIES FOR MILITARY

和世界，很快就會因軍事原因將他的敵人繩之以法。

TRIBUNALS AND MASS EXECUTIONS IN A SHOW OF FORCE THEY CALLED "THE

三軍團和大規模處決，在他們所謂的 "武力秀 "中。

STORM."

STORM。"

I DIDN'T KNOW WHY THEY THOUGHT HE COULD PULL OFF "THE STORM."

我不知道他們為什麼認為他能把 "風暴 "拉下來。

HE CAN'T EVEN CLOSE "THE UMBRELLA."

他甚至不能關閉 "UMBRELLA。"

FOR FOUR YEARS, Q KEPT SAYING "TODAY'S THE DAY," AND THEN

四年來，Q一直說 "今天是個好日子"，然後...

NOTHING HAPPENED THAT DAY.

那天什麼也沒發生。

MEANWHILE, THE ONLINE PROMOTERS OF Q'S FAILED PROPHECIES WERE

與此同時，網上的推廣者的Q的失敗的建議是：。

RAKING IN CASH BY SELLING Q-ANON MERCHANDISE.

通過銷售Q-ANON商品賺取現金。

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY MAKE THEM PAY FOR MERCH.

我不相信他們讓他們支付的商品。

THE BEST CULTS GIVE YOU FREE KOOL-AID AND NIKES.

最好的崇拜者會給你免費的酷愛和尼克。

THE ELECTION PRESENTED A BIT OF PROBLEM FOR Q.

選舉給阿Q帶來了一些問題。

IF THE ALL-POWERFUL GUY WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THE POWERFUL

如果那個全能的傢伙應該做的是強者的工作

THING WASN'T IN POWER ANYMORE, HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO THE

事情已經不在權力範圍內了，他該怎麼做呢？

THING?

東西？

SO YESTERDAY, Q-ANON FOLLOWERS WATCHED THE INAUGURATION LIKE

所以，昨天，Q-ANON FOLLOWERS觀看了就職典禮，像。

LINUS IN A PUMPKIN PATCH, AND THE CONSPIRACY PEDDLERS KEPT

LINUS在PUMPKIN PATCH，和陰謀的PEDDLERS保存。

LEADING THEM ON, PROMISING THINGS LIKE THE BIDENS, OBAMAS

引導他們，承諾像比登斯、奧巴馬那樣的事情。

AND CLINTONS WOULD BE ROUNDED UP AND EXECUTED FOR CHILD SEX

克林頓夫婦將因兒童性行為被逮捕並處決

TRAFFICKING, TREASON AND OTHER CRIMES, AND THAT THE FORMER

販賣人口、犯罪和其他罪行，以及前南斯拉夫的

PRESIDENT WOULD REMAIN IN POWER.

主席將繼續執政。

IT SOUNDS DERANGED, BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF WEIRD INTERNET

它聽起來很怪異，但有很多奇怪的互聯網。

THEORIES ABOUT HIM.

關於他的理論：

FOR INSTANCE, IS HE...

暫時來說，他是... ...

PART SASQUATCH?

PART SASQUATCH？

BY THE TIME BIDEN WAS SWORN IN, IT BECAME APPARENT THAT THE

在比登宣誓就職的時候，人們發現

STORM WASN'T COMING, AND Q-ANON FOLLOWERS STARTED POSTING THINGS

風暴沒有來，和Q-ANON的追隨者開始發佈的東西。

LIKE "I CAN'T STOP CRYING," "I FEEL SICK, DISGUSTED AND

比如 "我無法停止哭泣"、"我覺得噁心、噁心、噁心 "等。

DISAPPOINTED," AND "IT'S OVER.

失望"、"結束了"。

IT IS SADLY, SADLY OVER."

它是可悲的，可悲的結束。"

IT WAS A SHORT WALK FROM "Q" TO "WHY!?"

從 "Q "到 "Why!"是一段很短的路。

ONE FOLLOWER WAS IN DISBELIEF, POSTING, "IT SIMPLY DOESN'T MAKE

有一位跟帖者表示不解，發帖說："它簡單地沒有讓人覺得有什麼不妥。

SENSE THAT WE ALL GOT PLAYED."

感，我們都得到了發揮。"

UH... YES, IT DOES.

呃...是的，它做到了。

YOU LISTENED TO A RANDO ON THE INTERNET.

你在網上聽了一個蘭度的話。

BUT IF YOU'D LIKE TO GET REVENGE ON THAT RANDO, ALL YOU HAVE TO

但如果你想報復那個蘭度，你只需要... ...

DO IS SEND SOME MONEY TO A NIGERIAN PRINCE I KNOW.

要做的就是給我認識的一個尼日利亞王子寄點錢。

OR JUST SEND IT TO ME, I'LL MAKE SURE HE GETS IT.

或者直接寄給我，我會確保他收到的。

THEN AGAIN, NOT EVERYTHING CAN MAKE AS MUCH SENSE AS J.F.K. JR

然後再一次，不是所有的事情都能像J.F.K.JR那樣有意義。

FAKING HIS OWN DEATH IN ORDER TO ONE DAY RE-EMERGE TO JOIN THE

偽造自己的死亡，以便有朝一日能重出江湖，加入我們。

REPUBLICAN TICKET AND STOP BILL GATES FROM MICROCHIPPING OUR

共和黨的票據和阻止比爾-蓋茨對我們的微芯片。

VACCINES.

疫苗：

COME ON, Q FOLLOWERS.

來吧，Q的追隨者。

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN THE REST OF US IN THE RATIONAL

現在加入我們理性的行列還不晚。

WORLD, AND WAIT FOR JESUS TO COME BACK ON A CLOUD OF GLORY TO

世界，並等待耶穌乘著榮耀的雲彩回來。

JUDGE THE LIVING AND THE DEAD.

審判活人和死人。

AFTER THE INAUGURAL, Q FOLLOWERS GOT A DOSE OF REALITY FROM ONE Q

在就職典禮之後，Q粉們從一個Q那裡得到了一劑現實的力量。

FORUM ADMINISTRATOR, WHO POSTED, "WE HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT SWORN

論壇管理員，他發帖說："我們有一個新的主席宣誓就職。

IN, AND IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY AS CITIZENS TO RESPECT THE

作為公民，我們有責任遵守《公約》。

CONSTITUTION" ADDING, "PLEASE REMEMBER ALL THE FRIENDS AND

"，並補充說："請記住所有的朋友和朋友們。

HAPPY MEMORIES WE MADE TOGETHER OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS."

"過去幾年我們一起度過的快樂的回憶。"

"TURNS OUT, THE REAL CONSPIRACY THEORY WAS THE CANNIBAL LIZARD

"事實證明，真正的陰謀論是罐頭蜥蜴，

FRIENDS WE MADE ALONG THE WAY."

我們一路走來的朋友。"

MUST BE DIFFICULT FOR THE Q-ANONS-- OR Q-BERTS, AS THEY

對Q-ANONS或Q-BERTS來說，他們一定是困難的。

ARE NEVER CALLED-- BUT IF THEY'RE SAD AND LOOKING FOR

從來不叫... 但如果他們是閱讀和尋找。

WAYS TO SPEND HOURS ON THE INTERNET RESEARCHING ARCANE

花時間在互聯網上研究阿卡尼的方法

AND IMPOSSIBLE-TO-UNDERSTAND THEORIES, MIGHT I SUGGEST

和不可能理解的理論，我可以建議

NERD CULTURE?

書呆子文化？

JOIN US!

加入我們!

IT'S GREAT!

它的偉大！

I SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT I'M NOT ON CAMERA READING J.R.R

我每天醒來的時候都在讀《J. R. R》。

TOLKIEN, AND READING ABOUT J.R.R. TOLKIEN, AND LISTENING TO

TOLKIEN, and READING ABOUT J.R.R. TOLKIEN, and Listening to.

TOLKIEN PODCASTS AND TAKING TOLKIEN QUIZZES AND READING THE

TOLKIEN PODCASTS and TAKING TOLKIEN QUIZZES AND READING THE TOP。

TOLKIEN DICTIONARY AND CORRECTING THE ENTRIES!

TOLKIEN DICTIONARY AND CORRECTING THE ENTRIES!

WHY BE UPSET ABOUT FICTIONAL REPTILIAN SATANISTS, WHEN YOU

為什麼對虛構的爬行者撒旦教徒感到不安，當你

CAN BE ANGRY AT THE VERY REAL FACT THAT GLORFINDEL GOT SHAFTED

可以憤怒的事實，格洛芬黛爾被洗劫一空。

IN THE "LORD OF THE RINGS" MOVIES?

在《指環王》電影中？

LOOK, I UNDERSTAND ADDING ARWEN.

聽著，我明白增加阿文。

I LIKE THAT.

我喜歡這樣。

EVEN THE PROFESSOR KNEW THAT SHE WAS AN UNDERDEVELOPED CHARACTER

連教授都知道她是個發展不成熟的角色。

IN THE NOVEL, BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CUT GLORFINDEL OUT?

在小說裡，但你為什麼要把格洛芬黛爾刪掉？

HE DEFEATED A BALROG AT THE FALL OF GONDOLIN.

他在貢多林之戰中擊敗了一隻禿鷹。

DOES THAT NOT COUNT FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE?

難道這就不算什麼了嗎？

AND PLEASE, NO LETTERS THAT GLORFINDEL HIMSELF WAS KILLED

請不要寫格奧爾芬黛爾本人被殺的信。

WHILE DEFEATING THE BALROG.

雖然擊敗了BALROG，

SO WAS ECTHELION, LORD OF THE HOUSE OF THE FOUNTAIN!

埃克塞利翁也是如此，他是森林之屋的主人！

AND THAT WAS AGAINST GOTHMOG!

那是針對GOTHMOG的！

SO WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

那你想說什麼？

AND I PROMISE, JUST LIKE Q-ANON, YOU WILL SOUND CRAZY, AND YOUR

我保證，就像Q-ANON一樣，你會聽起來很瘋狂，而你的。

FAMILY WILL WISH YOU WOULD FIND ANOTHER OUTLET FOR YOUR

家人會希望你能為你的孩子找到另一個出口。

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER.

強迫性-強迫症。

AND NOR ONE WILL DIE, EXCEPT GANDALF.

也沒有人會死，除了甘達夫。

Q-ANON'S NOT THE ONLY RIGHT-WING NUT JOBS DISAPPOINTED BY THE