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  • -Welcome, everybody! Welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

    -歡迎大家!歡迎來到 "今夜秀"!

  • Thank you for watching.

    謝謝你的觀看。

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • Well, guys, it is the last night of Donald Trump's presidency.

    好了,夥計們,這是唐納德-特朗普總統任期的最後一夜。

  • And...

    還有...

  • [ Band plays, cheers and applause ]

    [樂隊演奏,歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • I don't know what tomorrow's gonna feel like.

    我不知道明天會是什麼感覺。

  • Probably like that moment

    可能就像那一刻

  • when they pull the nasal swab out of your nose.

    當他們從你的鼻子里拉出鼻拭子的時候,

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • At least Trump is leaving on top.

    至少特朗普是頂著壓力離開的。

  • I mean, Washington D.C. has never looked more beautiful.

    我是說,華盛頓特區從來沒有這麼漂亮過。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Actually, that has nothing to do with the riots.

    其實,這與騷亂無關。

  • Those are just some of Melania's old Christmas decorations.

    這些只是梅拉尼婭的一些舊聖誕裝飾品。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, one more night.

    是的,還有一個晚上。

  • For most Americans, it feels like the night of Thanksgiving

    對於大多數美國人來說,感覺就像感恩節的夜晚一樣。

  • when you're just staring at your aunt and uncle thinking,

    當你只是盯著你的叔叔阿姨想。

  • "Go home."

    "回家吧。"

  • I think everyone is ready for Trump to move on.

    我想大家都已經準備好讓特朗普繼續前進了。

  • This afternoon, even the Lincoln Memorial stood up

    今天下午,連林肯紀念堂都站起來了

  • and helped Trump pack.

    並幫助特朗普打包。

  • He's like, "I got it, I got it."

    他就像,"我知道了,我知道了。"

  • Some people are sad to see Trump go.

    有些人看到特朗普走了,很傷心。

  • Earlier today, the movers shook his hand and said,

    今天早些時候,搬家工人握著他的手說。

  • "We've never moved so many people out of their offices

    "我們從來沒有把這麼多的人從他們的辦公室裡搬出來過

  • in four years.

    四年內。

  • You put our kids through college.

    你讓我們的孩子上了大學

  • Thank you."

    謝謝你。"

  • It was a touching scene at the White House tonight,

    今晚在白宮,這是感人的一幕。

  • especially when Trump's four remaining staffers toasted him

    尤其是當特朗普剩下的四名幕僚向他敬酒時

  • by raising a glass of bleach.

    舉起一杯漂白劑。

  • I thought that was sweet.

    我覺得這很甜蜜。

  • Today, all of the White House staffers

    今天,所有的白宮工作人員

  • are signing each other's yearbooks

    在對方的年鑑上簽名

  • with things like, "Keep in touch,"

    諸如 "保持聯繫"

  • "Friends for life," and, "I won't testify against you

    "一輩子的朋友","我不會指證你

  • if you don't testify against me."

    如果你不指證我的話。"

  • Well, tomorrow morning, Trump's holding a farewell event

    明天早上,特朗普要舉行一個告別活動。

  • at Joint Base Andrews.

    在安德魯斯聯合基地。

  • I heard that everyone who's invited

    聽說凡是被邀請的人

  • has to be there by 7:15 a.m.,

    必須在早上7點15分之前到達那裡。

  • and they can each bring along five people.

    而且他們每個人可以帶五個人一起去。

  • You know they're having trouble filling seats

    你知道他們的座位很難填滿

  • when they offer everyone a plus-five.

    當他們為每個人提供一個加五。

  • Never heard of a plus-five.

    從來沒有聽說過加五的說法。

  • "You can come if you want. You can you bring 30 people."

    "你可以來,如果你想。你可以... ...你可以帶30個人來。"

  • But it sounds like a great party.

    但聽起來是個很棒的派對

  • I mean, guests have to arrive by 7:15 in the morning

    我的意思是,客人必須在早上7: 15之前到達。

  • on a Wednesday in the middle of January

    一月中旬的一個星期三

  • during a pandemic.

    在大流行期間。

  • Even Craigslist actors were like, "Pass."

    連Craigslist的演員都說:"不幹了。"

  • And this is true.

    而這是事實。

  • The guest list is so thin,

    客人名單太少了。

  • even Anthony Scaramucci got an invite.

    連安東尼・斯卡拉穆奇都收到了邀請。

  • You know your party is struggling

    你知道你的黨在掙扎

  • when it's half family and half staff you fired four years ago.

    四年前你解僱了一半的家人和一半的員工。

  • But today, Trump released a pre-recorded farewell address

    但今天,特朗普發佈了事先錄製好的告別演說。

  • from the White House, and here are some of the highlights.

    從白宮,這裡是一些亮點。

  • -Now as I prepare to hand power over

    -在我準備交出權力的時候。

  • to a new administration

    移交給新政府

  • at noon on Wednesday,

    週三中午,。

  • I want you to know that the movement we started

    我想讓你知道,我們發起的這個運動

  • is only just beginning.

    才剛剛開始。

  • We did what we came here to do

    我們做了我們來這裡要做的事

  • and so much more.

    以及更多。

  • The world respects us again.

    世界再次尊重我們。

  • Please don't lose that respect.

    請不要失去這種尊重。

  • -Yeah.

    -是的

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Trump said, "We did what we came here to do."

    特朗普說:"我們做了我們來這裡要做的事情。"

  • It's true. I remember his big campaign promise

    這是真的。我記得他在競選時的承諾

  • was, "Build part of a wall and pay for it ourselves."

    是,"建一部分牆,我們自己出錢。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, Trump also said, "The world respects us again."

    是的,特朗普還說:"世界再次尊重我們"。

  • When he heard that, Vladimir Putin was like,

    當他聽到這句話時,弗拉基米爾-普京就像。

  • "Yes, yes, is always good to end with joke."

    "是的,是的,以玩笑結束總是好的。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • "Classic, Buddy. [ Laughs ]"

    "經典,巴迪。[笑]"

  • But today wasn't all bad.

    但今天也不全是壞事。

  • There was actually some nice news for Trump. Listen to this.

    其實對特朗普來說,還有一些好消息。聽聽這個。

  • -President Trump's youngest daughter has a big announcement.

    -特朗普總統的小女兒要宣佈一個重大消息。

  • Tiffany Trump is getting married.

    Tiffany Trump要結婚了。

  • The 27-year-old took to Instagram

    27歲的他在Instagram上

  • to announce her happy news.

    來宣佈她的喜訊。

  • -Trump was so sweet.

    -特朗普真是太可愛了

  • He was like, "This week isn't about you, Tiffany!"

    他說:"這周不是關於你的,Tiffany!"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Asked what she's most excited for,

    問她最興奮的是什麼?

  • Tiffany was like, "Changing last names."

    蒂芙尼很喜歡,"改變姓氏。"

  • Some entertainment news.

    一些娛樂新聞。

  • Last night was an all-new episode of "The Bachelor,"

    昨晚是 "單身漢 "的全新一集。

  • and Serena had a one-on-one date with Matt.

    和Serena與Matt進行了一對一的約會。

  • And the date was going well

    約會進行得很順利

  • until an unexpected visitor showed up.

    直到一個不速之客出現。

  • Watch this.

    看這個。

  • -The feelings that I'm already having for you,

    -我對你的感情已經有了。

  • like, throughout this experience is like,

    像,整個這個體驗是像。

  • they're real.

    他們是真實的。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • [ Donkey brays ]

    [驢叫聲]

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -All that was missing was a graphic that said,

    -只缺一張圖,上面寫著:

  • "Donkey, age 7, social media influencer."

    "驢子,7歲,社交媒體影響者。"

  • Yep, now along with herpes,

    是的,現在隨著皰疹。

  • "The Bachelor" has to worry about foot-and-mouth disease.

    "單身漢 "要擔心口蹄疫。

  • Hey, check this out.

    嘿,看看這個。

  • I saw that Nissan has designed a new concept van

    我看到日產設計了一款新的概念車。

  • intended to serve as a mobile office for remote workers.

    旨在作為遠程工作者的移動辦公室。

  • Take a look at this.

    看看這個。

  • Yeah. And this is cool.

    是啊,這很酷。而這是很酷。

  • It comes with a bumper sticker that says,

    它帶有一個保險槓貼紙,上面寫著。

  • "I didn't get custody."

    "我沒有得到監護權。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, Nissan will release the car

    是的,日產將發佈該車

  • right after everyone is vaccinated

    等到大家都打完疫苗之後

  • and returns to the office.

    並返回辦公室。

  • We have a great show.

    我們有一個偉大的節目。

  • give it up for The Roots everybody.

    大家為 "根 "樂隊歡呼吧

-Welcome, everybody! Welcome to "The Tonight Show"!

-歡迎大家!歡迎來到 "今夜秀"!

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