AND WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎收看特別的 "深夜秀"。

I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

IT'S THE DAY BEFORE THE DAY WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR,

這是我們一直在等待的日子的前一天。

BECAUSE TONIGHT IS THE LAST SHOW WE'LL DO DURING THE PRESIDENCY

因為今天晚上是我們在總統任期內的最後一場演出了

OF HE WHO SHALL REMAIN SHAMELESS.

恥辱的人的。

NOW, WE COULD TELL IMMEDIATELY THAT ENDURING THIS

現在，我們可以立即告訴大家，忍受這種

ADMINISTRATION WAS GOING TO BE A CHALLENGE.

行政管理將是一個挑戰。

THIS IS WHAT I SAID IN MY FIRST MONOLOGUE AFTER HIS ELECTION:

這就是我在他當選後的第一段獨白中所說的話。

FOUR YEARS?

四年了？

FOUR YEARS?

四年了？

WE HAVE FOUR VERY INTERESTING YEARS IN FRONT OF US.

我們前面還有四年非常有趣的年份。

I MIGHT HAVE UNDERSOLD THAT JUST A SMIDGE.

我可能已經理解了，只是一點點。

IT HAS BEEN INTERESTING, IN THE SAME WAY RIDING IN A CAR GOING

它是有趣的，在同樣的方式乘坐汽車去。

OVER A CLIFF IS THOUGHT-PROVOKING.

翻越懸崖是發人深省的。

BUT TOMORROW, LIKE A MIRACLE, HE WILL DISAPPEAR.

但是，明天，像一個奇蹟，他將消失。

SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF HIS LOWLIGHTS INCLUDE STARTING HIS

他的一些高光的低光包括開始他的

PRESIDENCY BY DECRYING AMERICAN CARNAGE.

美國殯儀館的總統。

HIS MUSLIM TRAVEL BAN.

他的穆斯林旅行禁令。

VERY FINE PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES.

雙方都是非常好的人。

BONDING WITH PUTIN IN HELSINKI.

在赫爾斯基與普京結緣。

BONDING WITH KIM JONG-UN IN SINGAPORE.

在新加坡與金正恩結緣。

BONDING WITH THE MY PILLOW GUY EVERYWHERE ELSE.

與我的枕頭男結緣，其他地方。

WANTING TO TRADE PUERTO RICO FOR GREENLAND.

想把波多黎各換成綠地。

TALKING ABOUT NUKING HURRICANES OR CHANGING THEIR PATH WITH A

談論核彈或用核彈來改變颶風的路徑。

SHARPIE.

SHARPIE：

CALLING THE 26 WOMEN ACCUSING HIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT LIARS.

稱26名指控他性侵犯的婦女為金光黨。

WISHING AN ACCUSED SEX TRAFFICKER WELL.

祝願一個被指控的性販子好起來。

CAGING ASYLUM-SEEKING CHILDREN THAT HE TORE FROM THEIR PARENTS.

他從父母那裡搶走的那些尋求亞利蘭的孩子。

GETTING IMPEACHED FOR TRYING TO BLACKMAIL UKRAINE TO INTERFERE

因試圖通過黑郵英國來干涉而受到指責。

IN OUR ELECTION.

在我們的選舉中，

COMPLETELY SHANKING A PANDEMIC.

徹底地砍掉了PANDEMIC。

TEAR-GASSING PEACEFUL PROTESTERS.

催淚和平示威者：

HOLDING A BIBLE DUMB.

抱著聖經啞巴。

UNDERMINING FAITH IN OUR DEMOCRACY.

破壞對我們民主的信仰。

INCITING AN ANGRY MOB TO MURDER HIS OWN VICE PRESIDENT.

煽動憤怒的暴徒來謀殺他自己的副主席。

AND RUINING "Y.M.C.A."

和破壞 "Y. M. C. A."

♪ ♪ ♪ WE DIDN'T EVEN TRY HARD FOR THAT

我們甚至沒有努力為那

LIST.

列表：

WE WERE JUST LIKE, IT'S ONLY AN HOUR SHOW.

我們只是喜歡，這只是一個小時的節目。

BUT THE WEIRDEST THING OF THE LAST FOUR YEARS-- IT WAS YEAR

但過去四年裡最奇怪的事情 -- 就是今年了

ONE, RIGHT-- WAS WHEN HE WAS AT THE NATIONAL

一，是的 -- 是當他在全國的時候。

BOY SCOUT JAMBOREE AND TOLD A STORY ABOUT A RICH GUY HE KNEW

童子軍JAMBOREE，並講述了一個故事 一個有錢人，他知道的

WHO HAD A YACHT, AND SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT SOUNDED

誰有一艘遊艇，和一些關於聽起來像的東西

LIKE A SEX PARTY ON A BOAT.

就像船上的性愛派對。

IT REALLY SUMMED UP THIS LAST FOUR YEARS: YOU DIDN'T KNOW

它真的總結了這過去的四年：你不知道。

EXACTLY KNOW WHERE HE WAS GOING OR WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT

完全知道他要去哪裡，或者他在說什麼，但

IT MADE YOU REALLY FEEL DIRTY AND YOU YOU KNEW IT WAS BAD FOR

它讓你感覺很髒，你知道這對你很不好。

CHILDREN.

兒童：

I WOULD BE LYING JUST LIKE HE DOES, BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE

我也會像他一樣撒謊，因為根據《聖經》中的規定。

"WASHINGTON POST" PINOCCHIO LIE TRACKER, SINCE ASSUMING OFFICE,

"華盛頓郵報 "匹諾曹謊言追蹤者，自上任以來。

THE PRESIDENT HAS MADE 30,534 FALSE OR MISLEADING STATEMENTS.

主席發表了30,534條虛假或誤導性的言論。

IN THE END, PINOCCHIO THREW HIMSELF INTO A WOODCHIPPER.

最後，匹諾曹把自己扔進了木頭人的肚子裡。

>> I'M FREE!

>> 我是自由的!

>> Stephen: IN THE END, THE TAKEAWAY FROM THIS PRESIDENCY

>> 斯蒂芬: 最後，本次總統任期的啟示是

IS TAKE HIM AWAY.

是把他帶走。

WE HERE AT "THE LATE SHOW" HAVE BEEN COUNTING DOWN TO THIS DAY

我們這裡的 "晚間秀 "已經開始倒計時了。

FOR FOUR LONG YEARS.

長達四年之久。

LITERALLY COUNTING.

字面意義上的計算。

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED WHEN WE WERE IN THE THEATER THERE WAS A

你可能已經注意到，當我們在劇院的時候，有一個

NUMBER IN THE BACK OF THE DOME.

穹頂後面的數字。

THAT WAS THE NUMBER OF DAYS UNTIL THE END OF THE PRESIDENT'S

這是總統任期結束前的天數。

TERM.

期限：

AND WE COUNTED IT DOWN EVERY NIGHT FOR FOUR LONG PAINFUL

我們每天晚上都在數著時間，度過了四個漫長的痛苦時光

YEARS.

年。

AND TONIGHT, THE NUMBER ON THE DOME HAS COUNTED DOWN TO ONE.

而今晚，穹頂上的數字已經倒數到一。

♪ HIT THE ROAD, JACK AND DON'T YOU COME BACK

上路，傑克，你不要回來

♪ NO MORE, NO MORE NO MORE, NO MORE ♪

沒有更多，沒有更多，沒有更多的

♪ HIT THE ROAD, JACK AND DON'T YOU COME BACK

上路，傑克，你不要回來

♪ WHAT YOU SAY ♪ HIT THE ROAD, JACK

"你說什麼，傑克，上路吧

AND DON'T YOU COME BACK >> Stephen: HIT THE ROAD,

你不要再回來了 >> 上路吧。

JACK.

JACK.

COME ON JACK.

來吧傑克。

THERE'S A ROAD, HIT IT.

有一條路，打它。

( LAUGHTER ) THROUGHOUT ALL THE CRAZINESS AND

（笑）通過所有的瘋狂和。

THREATS TO EVERYTHING WE HOLD SACRED, THERE WAS ONE HERO WHO

威脅到我們神聖的東西，有一個英雄是誰

KEPT OUR COUNTRY TOGETHER: AND THAT'S YOU, THE AMERICAN

讓我們的國家團結在一起，那就是你，美國人。

PEOPLE.

人。

FOR ALL HIS DANGEROUS ASSAULTS ON DEMOCRACY, DEMOCRACY KICKED

由於他對民主的所有危險的攻擊，民主踢了

HIS ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO FLORIDA.

他的屁股一路回到佛羅里達州。

AND IN THIS CASE, I, FOR ONE, WILL NEVER BE SICK OF WINNING.

在這種情況下，我，就我而言，永遠不會厭倦勝利。

SO, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELVES.

所以，你應該為自己感到驕傲。

COUNT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS THIS YEAR STOPPING HOMEGROWN AMERICAN

統計一下你今年阻止美國本土化的成就。

FASCISM AND HITTING 10,000 STEPS JUST WALKING BETWEEN YOUR FRIDGE

FASCISM和打10000步只是走在你的公寓之間。

AND YOUR COUCH.■ç YOU, YOU, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE,

和你的教練.■ç你，你，美國人民。

YOU HELD YOUR GROUND.

你堅持自己的立場。

YOU NEVER WARMED UP TO THE GUY.

你從來沒有對這傢伙熱情過。

EVEN WHEN HE WON, HE LOST THE POPULAR VOTE.

即使他贏了，他也失去了民意的選票。

AND ACCORDING TO GALLUP, HIS AVERAGE APPROVAL RATING WAS 41%,

而根據GALLUP的數據，他的平均支持率為41%。

"FOUR POINTS LOWER THAN ANY OTHER PRESIDENT."

"比其他任何總統都要低四個百分點"

HE'S SO UNPOPULAR, THIS IS HOW HE'LL BE REMEMBERED IN THE HALL

他是如此的不受歡迎，這是他將如何在大廳裡被記住

OF PRESIDENTS: >> WHAT A SCHMUCK I WAS.

的總統。>> 我真是個笨蛋。

WHAT A SCHMUCK.Ñi ( LAUGHTER )

什麼是SCHMUCK.NII（笑）。

>> Stephen: NOW, IF IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M MAKING A BIG DEAL

>> Stephen:現在，如果這聽起來像我在做一筆大買賣的話

ABOUT HIM LEAVING, IT'S NOT NEARLY AS BIG A DEAL AS HE WANTS

關於他的離開，並沒有他想的那麼大。

TO MAKE ABOUT IT.

要做的事：

THE PRESIDENT WANTS A BIG MILITARY SEND-OFF AT ANDREWS AIR

總統希望在安德魯斯機場舉行盛大的軍事歡送儀式。

FORCE BASE, WITH A RED CARPET AND A 21-GUN SALUTE.

部隊基地，有紅色地毯和21支槍的禮炮。

AND THIS TIME, THE GUNS AREN'T AIMED AT MIKE PENCE.

而且這次的槍口不是針對MIKE PENCE的。

BUT IT'S BEEN A CHALLENGE GETTING A BIG ENOUGH CROWD TO

但要獲得足夠多的觀眾是一個挑戰。

SATISFY THE PRESIDENT, IN PART BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO THE

令主席滿意的部分原因是，根據《公約》第3條，

INVITATION, "ALL GUESTS MUST ARRIVE BETWEEN 6:00 A.M. AND

邀請函，"所有客人必須在上午6:00和下午3:00之前到達。

7:15 A.M."

早上7點15分"

A PARTY AT 6:00 A.M.?

凌晨六點的派對？

AWESOME!

厲害了！

FOR THE LEAST-POPULAR MAN ON EARTH?

對於地球上最不受歡迎的人？

SWEET!

甜蜜！

HEY, TELL YOU WHAT, THROW IN A KARAOKE MACHINE THAT ONLY PLAYS

嘿，告訴你什麼，扔在卡拉OK機，只播放

"ICE ICE BABY," AND I AM IN!

"冰冰寶貝"，我加入！

NOW, REPORTEDLY, THE WHITE HOUSE IS SO DESPERATE TO HAVE PEOPLE

現在，據報道，白宮急於讓人們... ...

ATTEND THIS PITY PARTY, THAT IT INVITED ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI TO

參加這個可憐的聚會，它邀請了安東尼-斯卡拉穆奇來參加

THE EVENT.

事件：

SCARAMUCCI?

SCARAMUCCI？

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

你在做什麼？

THE MOOCH IS CLEARLY A SEASON-ONE CHARACTER.

MOOCH顯然是一個季節性的人物。

THAT'S LIKE IF THE "HAPPY DAYS" REUNION WAS KICKED OFF BY

這就像如果 "快樂時光 "的重聚是由 "快樂時光 "開場的。

RICHIE'S BROTHER.

RICHIE的兄弟。

THAT'S RIGHT.

這是正確的。

RICHIE HAD AN OLDER BROTHER WHO WHO PLAYED BASKETBALL, WAS VERY

RICHIE有一個哥哥誰打籃球，是非常的。

TALL, AND DISAPPEARED WITH NO SCPLAWNGZ.

高大，並消失了沒有SCPLAWNGZ。

I WOULD CHECK POTSIE'S CRAWL SPACE.

我想檢查一下POTSIE的RAWL空間。

THE EMAIL INVITE ALSO TOLD GUESTS THEY CAN BRING AS MANY AS

電子郵件的邀請還告訴客人，他們可以帶來儘可能多的人。

FIVE PLUS-ONES TO TRUMP'S ELABORATE EXIT CEREMONY.

五個加號給特朗普的選舉退場儀式。

MAN, THAT IS THIRSTY.

男人，這是STY。

"HEY, UH, PLEASE COME TO MY IMPROV SHOW.

"嘿，呃，請來我的改進表演。

I'LL GET YOU TWO-FOR-ONE COUPONS THAT'S GOOD FOR FIVE

我給你買二送一的優惠券，可以買五張。

PEOPLE.

人。

AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE PEOPLE.

而他們不必是人。

THEY CAN BE CARDBOARD CUTOUTS, OR MANNEQUINS, OR DOGS, OR

它們可以是紙板剪貼畫，或模型，或狗，或

BROOMS WITH GOOGLY EYES.

掃帚與GOOGLY EES。

PLEASE, MY PARENTS ARE COMING!" NOW, AFTER THE PRESIDENT LEAVES,

求你了，我的父母來了！"現在，在主席離開後。

THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HOSE OUT 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,

他們要把賓夕法尼亞大道1600號的廁所給拆了。

AN UNDERTAKING CARRIED OUT BY THE 90-PERSON WHITE HOUSE

由90人組成的白宮所執行的一項協議

RESIDENCE STAFF IN ABOUT FIVE HOURS.

宿管人員在大約5小時內。

COME ON, THAT'S A BIG HOUSE, AND THEY ONLY HAVE FIVE HOURS TO

來吧，這是一個很大的房子，而他們只有五個小時的時間來。

CLEAN IT?

清潔它？

THAT'S INSANE.

這是瘋了。

IT'S GOING TO TAKE AT LEAST AN HOUR TO PULL ERIC'S HEAD OUT OF

至少要花一個小時才能把埃裡克的頭拉出來。

THE BANISTER.

班師：

( AS ERIC ) "HELP, HELP, I'M IN HEAD-JAIL!

（作為埃裡克）"幫助，幫助，我在頭獄！

TELL DAD TO PARDON MY HEAD!" SOME NIGHTS I HAVE TOO MUCH

告訴爸爸，原諒我的頭！"有些晚上，我有太多的。

SALIVA FOR ERIC.

薩利瓦為埃裡克。

"IT WON'T STAY UP!

"它不會停留在上面!

I'M NOT GOING TO MISS HIM!" WITH EVERY DAY THAT PASSES...

我不會想念他的！"隨著一天天過去... ...

( LAUGHTER ) WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MAGA

我們瞭解到更多關於瑪格的資訊。

MILITIA THAT ATTACKED THE CAPITOL.

攻打首都的民兵。

BUT NOW WE'RE ALSO LEARNING ABOUT THEIR ARRESTS.

但現在我們也知道了他們被抓的事情。

SO, IT'S TIME FOR MY HOPEFULLY 10,000-PART SEGMENT,

所以，現在是我的時間 希望10,000部分的部分。

"SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUND-UP."

"SEDITIONIST ROUND-UP ROUND-UP。"

SEEMS LIKE THE COW IS IN ON IT.

似乎牛是在它。

SEEMS LIKE THE COW IS INTO IT.

似乎牛是在它。

THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR TO THE COW.

這似乎對牛不公平。

FIRST UP IN THE LASSO OF JUSTICE IS LOCAL TRAITOR AND WOMAN

第一個上場的是當地的誘捕者和婦女。

REALIZING SHE SHOULD TOUCH UP THOSE ROOTS TO LOOK HER BEST IN

意識到她應該修整這些根部，讓自己看起來最好。

JAIL, JENNA RYAN.

JAIL, JENNA RYAN.

WHEN SHE'S NOT BREAKING INTO THE CAPITOL, RYAN IS A REAL ESTATE

當她不闖入首都的時候，Ryan是個房地產商。

BROKER FROM FRISCO, TEXAS.

來自德克薩斯州弗里斯科的經紀人。

AH, THAT EXPLAINS WHY THE RIOT SMELLED LIKE FRESH-BAKED

啊，這就解釋了為什麼暴動聞起來像剛烤好的。

COOKIES.

COOKIES。

MAKES IT SEEM HOMEY.

讓人覺得很溫馨。

THE FEDS DIDN'T HAVE TO DIG TOO DEEP TO FIND OUT WHO SHE WAS,

聯邦調查局不需要深入調查就能發現她是誰。

BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT SHE LVE-STREAMED DURING THE ATTACK:

因為這是她在攻擊過程中的動作。

>> HERE WE GO.

>> 在這裡，我們去。

Y'ALL KNOW WHO TO HIRE FOR YOUR REALTOR.

你們都知道該找誰做你的房地產經紀人了。

JENNA RYAN, YOUR REALTOR.

詹娜-瑞恩，你的房地產經紀人。

>> Stephen: KIND OF A WEIRD PLACE TO PROMOTE YOUR BUSINESS.

>> Stephen: 一個奇怪的地方來推廣你的業務。

YOU NEVER HEARD A CONFEDERATE GENERAL SHOUTING:

你從來沒聽過一個聯邦將軍大喊大叫。

( SOUTHERN ACCENT ) "THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN

（南方口音）"南方將再次崛起"。

AGAINST NORTHERN AGGRESSORS!

反對北方的侵略者！

BUT WHAT SHAN'T RISE ARE MY SUPER-LOW PRICES ON HARDTACK AND

但不會上漲的是我的超低價格的硬殼和。

BUCKLES!

巴克爾斯！

STONEWALL'S GENERAL STORE, WE VALIDATE HORSE PARKING!

STONEWALL'S GENERAL STORE, WE VALIDATE HORSE PARKING!

CHARGE!" RYAN CONTINUED TO

充電！"雷恩繼續說道。

SCREAM-VERTIZE.

尖叫--核實。

>> YOU GUYS, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

>> 你們這些傢伙，你能相信嗎？

I AM NOT MESSING AROUND.

我不是在開玩笑。

WHEN I COME TO SELL YOUR HOUSE, THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO.

當我來賣你的房子時，這就是我會做的。

( LAUGHTER ).

（笑）：

>> Stephen: WHAT?

>> Stephen:什麼？

BREAK WINDOWS AND TILL IT WITH WHITE SUPREMACISTS.

打破窗戶，用白色的超級電容器將其翻轉。

"AND YOU CAN TURN THIS INTO AN ACCENT WALL WITH JUST A CAN OF

"你可以把這裡變成一個重點牆，只需一罐的

PEPPER SPRAY.

胡椒噴霧：

I BROUGHT SOME COLOR SWATCHES!

我帶了一些顏色的圍巾！

OOH, I LIKE EYEBALL VOLCANO.

哦，我喜歡EYEBALL VOLCANO。

UHM, SINUS MELTDOWN!" NOW, WE CAN'T SOLELY BLAME THE

UHM，SINUS MELTDOWN！"現在，我們不能只怪... ...

PRESIDENT FOR INCITING THIS STUPID, STUPID, WOMAN, BECAUSE,

主席煽動這個愚蠢的，愚蠢的，婦女，因為：

APPARENTLY, SHE ALSO LISTENS TO OTHER SOURCES.

顯然，她也聽從其他來源。

>> NOT JUST THE PRESIDENT.

>> 不僅僅是主席。

THERE'S ALSO-- I FOLLOW EVERYTHING THAT RUDY GIULIANI

還有... 我關注魯迪-格里亞尼的所有事情。

SAYS.

說：

>> Stephen: FINDING OUT THE WOMAN IN CHARGE OF THE CONTRACTS

>> Stephen:找出負責合同的女人。

FOR YOUR HOME IS TAKING ADVICE FROM RUDY GIULIANI IS LIKE

對於你的家來說，接受魯迪-吉利安尼的建議就像。

FINDING OUT YOUR DENTIST IS TAKING ADVICE FROM RUDY

發現您的牙科醫生正在接受RUDY的建議。

GIULIANI.■ç "ALL RIGHT, LET'S START WITH A

GIULIANI.■ç "好吧，讓我們從一個開始。

RED WINE RINSE, AND WHAT DO YOU SAY WE REPLACE YOUR LOWER ROW OF

紅酒漂白，你說我們該怎麼替換你的下排的酒呢？

TEETH WITH FEED CORN AND CIGARETTE BUTTS."

牙齒與飼料玉米和雪茄煙蒂。"

ELSEWHERE IN THE ROUND-UP ROUND-UP, AUTHORITIES HAVE

在其他地方的綜述中，作者們已

ARRESTED MARYLAND WHITE SUPREMACIST AND MAN WHO MADE THE

被逮捕的馬里蘭白人至上主義者和製造 "大屠殺 "的人。

WRONG CHOICE BETWEEN MUSTACHE AND BEARD, BRYAN BETANCUR.

錯誤地選擇了鬍子和鬍鬚，布賴恩-貝坦庫爾。

BASED ON A TIP, THE SUSPECT WAS IDENTIFIED IN A SOCIAL MEDIA

根據線索，嫌疑人是在社交媒體上被發現的。

POST.■ç BUT IT ALSO HELPED THAT ON

POST.■ç但它也幫助了那上。

JANUARY 6, HE WAS OUT ON PAROLE FOR A TOTALLY DIFFERENT CRIME

1月6日，他因完全不同的罪行被保釋出獄。

AND WEARING A G.P.S. ANKLE MONITOR THAT PLACED HIM AT THE

戴著G. P. S. 踝關節監視器，把他放在了最前面。

RIOT.

RIOT。

CLEARLY, NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED, WHICH IS TOO BAD,

很明顯，不是最鋒利的工具，這是太糟糕了。

BECAUSE HE COULD HAVE USED THAT TOOL TO CUT OFF THAT ANKLE

因為他本來可以用那把工具把腳踝切掉的

MONITOR.

監測：

THE FEDS HAVE ALSO ARRESTED TEXAS GUY, GUY REFFITT, WHO YOU

聯邦調查局也逮捕了德州人，葛瑞菲特，你是誰？

MIGHT REMEMBER FROM BEING PEPPER SPRAYED ON THE CAPITOL STEPS.

可能還記得被人在國會臺階上噴了胡椒粉。

BUT HE STOOD HIS GROUND.

但他堅持自己的立場。

IT REMINDS ME OF PATRICK HENRY'S FAMOUS WORDS, "GIVE ME LIBERTY

這讓我想起了帕特里克-亨利的名言："給我自由"。

OR-- AAARGH!

或者... ... AAARGH！

NOT IN THE EYES!

不是在眼睛裡！

GAAAH!" REFFITT WAS TRACKED DOWN BY THE

GAAAH！"雷菲特被追蹤到的。

F.B.I. AFTER FOOTAGE OF HIM WAS SEEN ONLINE.

F.B.I. AFOTAGE OF HIM WESEN ONLINE.

AND IT'S A GOOD THING THE F.B.I.

這是件好事，F. B. I.

TRACKED HIM DOWN, BECAUSE BEFORE HIS ARREST, HE WARNED HIS

追蹤他，因為在他被捕前，他警告過他的家人。

CHILDREN, "IF YOU TURN ME IN, YOU'RE A TRAITOR.

孩子們，"如果你把我交出去，你就是個誘捕者。

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO TRAITORS, TRAITORS GET SHOT."

你知道訓練者的下場是什麼嗎？ 訓練者會被槍殺。"

SOMETIMES.

有時。

BUT SOMETIMES, THEY JUST GET PEPPER SPRAYED ON THE STEPS OF

但有時，他們只是在臺階上噴上了胡椒粉。

THE CAPITOL.

首都。

WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

我們已經為你準備了一個很棒的節目，今晚。

STAR OF "OUR FRIEND" JASON SEGEL IS HERE.

"我們的朋友 "的明星賈森-塞格爾在這裡。

BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"

但是，當我們回來的時候，"meanWHILE！"

JOIN US, WON'T YOU.

加入我們，你願意嗎？

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