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  • Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

    謄寫者: Leslie GauthierLeslie Gauthier 審稿人: Krystian ApartaKrystian Aparta

  • About three years ago,

    大約三年前。

  • I lost my daughter.

    我失去了我的女兒。

  • She was sexually assaulted and murdered.

    她被性侵犯和謀殺。

  • She was my only child

    她是我唯一的孩子

  • and was just 19.

    並且當時只有19歲。

  • As the shock wore off

    隨著衝擊的消失

  • and the all-consuming grief took over,

    和所有的悲傷佔據了。

  • I lost all meaning and purpose in life.

    我失去了生活的意義和目標。

  • Then my daughter spoke to me.

    然後我的女兒對我說。

  • She asked me to keep living.

    她讓我繼續活下去。

  • If I am not around,

    如果我不在身邊。

  • she will have one less heart to continue to live in.

    她就少了一顆繼續活下去的心。

  • With that, my partner Susan and I started our desperate climb

    就這樣,我和我的搭檔蘇珊開始了我們的拼命攀登。

  • out of this deep hole of trauma and loss.

    走出這個創傷和損失的深洞。

  • In the journey back to the land of the living with grief,

    在帶著悲痛回生地的旅途中。

  • we unexpectedly found

    我們意外地發現

  • a rather unlikely and very helpful ally:

    一個相當不可能的和非常有用的盟友。

  • my work.

    我的工作。

  • At first, I wasn't even sure if I should go back to work.

    一開始,我甚至不知道自己是否應該回去工作。

  • I had a lot of self-doubt.

    我有很多的自我懷疑。

  • As a senior executive,

    作為一名高級管理人員。

  • I'm responsible for thousands of employees

    我負責幾千名員工

  • and billions of dollars.

    和數十億美元。

  • After all that trauma,

    在經歷了那麼多的創傷之後。

  • is my mind still sharp and creative enough for that job?

    我的頭腦還夠敏銳和有創造力嗎?

  • Can I still relate to people?

    我還能與人交往嗎?

  • Can I get past the resentment and regret I felt

    我能不能忘掉我的怨恨和後悔?

  • about all the time I spent working

    我花在工作上的時間

  • instead of being with my daughter?

    而不是和我女兒在一起?

  • Is it fair to leave Susan home alone,

    讓蘇珊一個人在家公平嗎?

  • dealing with her own grief and pain?

    處理她自己的悲傷和痛苦?

  • At the end,

    在最後。

  • I made the decision to go back to work,

    我決定回去工作。

  • and I am very glad I did.

    我很高興我做到了。

  • We all experience grief and loss in our lives.

    在我們的生活中,我們都會經歷悲傷和失去。

  • For most of us,

    對於我們大多數人來說。

  • that means, at some point, getting up and getting back to work

    這意味著,在某些時候,起身回去工作。

  • while living with the grief.

    而生活在悲痛之中。

  • On those days,

    在那些日子裡。

  • we will continue to carry the incredible burden of sadness,

    我們將繼續揹負著難以置信的悲傷負擔。

  • but also a hope that work itself can restore for us

    但同時也是一種希望,即工作本身可以為我們恢復。

  • that much-needed feeling of purpose.

    亟需的目標感。

  • For me, work started out as just a productive distraction,

    對我來說,工作一開始只是一種生產上的分心。

  • but evolved to being truly therapeutic

    但發展到真正的治療性

  • and meaningful in so many ways.

    並在很多方面有意義。

  • And my return to work proved to be a good thing for the company as well.

    而事實證明,我重返工作崗位對公司也是一件好事。

  • I know I'm not indispensable,

    我知道我不是不可缺少的。

  • but retaining my expertise proved to be very beneficial,

    但事實證明,保留我的專業知識是非常有益的。

  • and my return helped all the teams avoid disruptions and distractions.

    而我的迴歸也幫助所有團隊避免了混亂和分心。

  • When you lose the most precious thing in your life,

    當你失去你生命中最珍貴的東西。

  • you gain a lot of humility

    厚積薄發

  • and a very different perspective free of egos and agendas,

    和一個非常不同的角度,沒有自我和議程。

  • and I think I'm a better coworker and a leader because of that.

    我認為我是一個更好的同事和上司,因為這個。

  • For all the good that came from it, though,

    對於所有的好處,雖然。

  • my reentry into work was far from easy.

    我重返工作崗位絕非易事。

  • It was very hard.

    這是很難的。

  • The biggest challenge

    最大的挑戰

  • was having to separate my personal and professional lives completely.

    是不得不把我的個人生活和職業生活完全分開。

  • You know --

    你知道...

  • OK to cry early in the morning,

    好吧,一大早就哭。

  • but slap a smile on the face promptly at eight o'clock

    但八點整準時打出一個微笑

  • and act as if everything is the same as before

    故步自封

  • until the workday is over.

    直到工作日結束。

  • Living in two completely different worlds at the same time,

    同時生活在兩個完全不同的世界裡。

  • and all the hiding and pretending that went with it,

    和所有的隱藏和假裝,去了它。

  • it was --

    它是 --

  • it was exhausting,

    它是累人的。

  • and made me feel very alone.

    並讓我感到非常孤獨。

  • Over time, I worked through those struggles

    隨著時間的推移,我努力克服這些困難

  • and I gained the confidence

    我獲得了信心

  • and the acceptance to bring my whole self to work.

    和接受把我的整個自我帶到工作中去。

  • And as a direct result of that,

    而直接的結果是。

  • I found joy again in it.

    我又在其中找到了快樂。

  • During that hard journey back to work,

    在那段艱難的返工途中。

  • I learned the power of having a culture of empathy in the workplace.

    我瞭解到在職場中擁有同理心文化的力量。

  • Not sympathy,

    不是同情。

  • not compassion,

    而不是憐憫。

  • but empathy.

    但同理心。

  • I came to believe

    我開始相信

  • that a workplace where empathy is a core part of the culture,

    一個工作場所,同理心是文化的核心部分。

  • that is a joyful and productive workplace,

    那是一個快樂而富有成效的工作場所。

  • and that workplace inspires a great deal of loyalty.

    而這種工作環境激發了人們極大的忠誠度。

  • I believe there are three things a company can do

    我認為公司可以做三件事。

  • to create and nurture a culture of empathy in the workplace in general

    在工作場所普遍創造和培養一種同理心文化;

  • and support a grieving employee like myself in particular.

    並特別支持像我這樣的悲痛員工。

  • One is to have policies

    一是要有政策

  • that let an employee deal with their loss in peace,

    讓員工平靜地處理他們的損失。

  • without worrying about administrative logistics.

    而不用擔心行政後勤的問題。

  • Second, provide return-to-work therapy to the employee

    第二,為員工提供重返工作崗位的治療。

  • as an integral part of the health benefits package.

    作為一攬子保健福利的一個組成部分。

  • And third,

    第三:

  • provide training for all employees on how to support each other --

    為所有僱員提供關於如何相互支持的培訓 -- -- -- ...

  • empathy training, as I call it.

    同理心訓練,我稱之為。

  • In the first category of policies to help deal with the loss,

    在第一類政策,以幫助處理損失。

  • the most important policy is regarding time off.

    最重要的政策是關於休息時間。

  • It's true that there is no expiration date to grieve

    的確,悲傷是沒有期限的。

  • and time cannot undo a loss,

    和時間無法挽回損失。

  • but time away from work helped me

    但工作之外的時間幫助我

  • figure out how daily life can coexist with grief.

    弄清楚日常生活如何與悲傷共存。

  • We don't want a grieving employee to have to cobble together vacation days

    我們不希望一個悲痛的員工不得不湊齊休假時間

  • and sick days

    和病假

  • and unpaid leave and whatever else.

    和無薪假什麼的。

  • A formal time-off policy

    正式的休假政策

  • that also allows the employee to come back to the same role they had

    也允許員工回到原來的角色。

  • before their time off --

    在他們的休息時間之前 -- --

  • that policy will make a real difference.

    該政策將帶來真正的變化。

  • Personally, I was so grateful to come back to my old role.

    就我個人而言,我很慶幸能回到我的老角色。

  • The familiar work, familiar people,

    熟悉的工作,熟悉的人。

  • provided a lot of comfort.

    提供了很多的安慰。

  • The second category of help companies can provide to employees

    第二類是企業可以為員工提供的幫助。

  • is return-to-work therapy.

    是重返工作崗位療法。

  • Therapy helped me muster the courage needed

    治療幫我鼓起了必要的勇氣

  • to bring my whole self to work

    全身心投入工作

  • and merge the two parallel worlds I was straddling into one,

    並將我所跨越的兩個平行世界合二為一。

  • and just have one life.

    而只是有一個生命。

  • A couple of years ago,

    幾年前。

  • I spent a weekend scattering my daughter's ashes in the Pacific.

    我花了一個週末把女兒的骨灰撒在太平洋上。

  • It was a --

    這是一個...

  • it was a horrific time.

    這是一個可怕的時間。

  • When I returned to work from that that following Monday,

    當我從那個下週一回到工作崗位上時。

  • one of the first meetings was to arbitrate a very passionate debate

    其中一次會議是對一場非常激烈的辯論進行仲裁

  • on office wallpaper.

    在辦公室牆紙上。

  • I needed therapy to figure out how to be considerate

    我需要治療來弄清楚如何體貼人。

  • of others' normal lives

    別人的正常生活

  • when my own life is so very different.

    當我自己的生活是如此的不同。

  • Therapy helped me give myself permission to be vulnerable.

    治療幫助我允許自己變得脆弱。

  • Even if vulnerability is not often seen as a strength in the corporate world,

    即使在企業界,弱勢也不常被視為一種力量。

  • when seemingly unrelated and just trivial things

    當看似無關緊要的小事發生時

  • triggered deep feelings of sadness

    觸發了悲傷的情緒

  • right smack in the middle of the workday,

    正好在工作日的中間。

  • therapy helped me deal with them.

    治療幫助我處理它們。

  • And when painful anniversaries and events tried to hijack the day,

    而當痛苦的紀念日和事件試圖劫持這一天。

  • like when I got a call from Texas Rangers

    就像我接到德州遊騎兵隊的電話一樣

  • regarding an arrest in my child's death,

    關於我孩子的死亡的逮捕。

  • I was at work.

    我當時在工作。

  • Therapy helped me stay productive

    治療幫助我保持生產力

  • while still remaining true to the unique realities

    而又不失其獨特的現實意義

  • and the painful realities of my life.

    以及我痛苦的現實生活。

  • During the course of the return-to-work therapy,

    在重返工作崗位的治療過程中。

  • I had realized something.

    我意識到了什麼。

  • I had realized that many of those learnings,

    我曾意識到,很多學問。

  • they would have been very helpful for me at work all along,

    他們會一直對我的工作很有幫助。

  • independent of my loss.

    獨立於我的損失。

  • And that realization brings me to the final category

    而這一認識讓我想到了最後一類

  • of things companies can do.

    的事情,公司可以做。

  • Provide empathy training to the employees.

    對員工進行同理心培訓。

  • Look, I know it sounds odd,

    你看,我知道這聽起來很奇怪。

  • but empathy can be a learned behavior.

    但同理心可以是一種學習行為。

  • For some, showing empathy comes naturally.

    對於一些人來說,表現出同理心是很自然的。

  • A colleague came to see me;

    一個同事來找我。

  • I had this electronic photo frame on my desk,

    我的辦公桌上有這個電子相框。

  • rotating through pictures of my daughter.

    旋轉著我女兒的照片。

  • As she was leaving, she simply said,

    臨走時,她只說了一句話。

  • "Tilak, when you're ready,

    "蒂拉克,等你準備好了。

  • I would love for you to tell me the story behind each of those pictures."

    我很想讓你給我講講這些照片背後的故事。"

  • She didn't ignore my sadness;

    她沒有忽略我的悲傷。

  • she didn't dwell on it.

    她沒有糾結於此。

  • She simply gave me permission to be myself

    她只是允許我做自己

  • and made a human connection.

    並建立了人與人之間的聯繫。

  • This was her version of empathy,

    這是她的同理心版本。

  • of which I'm sure there are many.

    其中我相信有很多。

  • But not everybody is a natural with empathy,

    但不是每個人都是天生的同理心。

  • and traditional work cultures don't always emphasize empathy.

    和傳統的工作文化並不總是強調同理心。

  • One person said to me,

    有一個人對我說。

  • "I can't believe you made it back to work.

    "想不到你竟然還能回來上班。

  • I don't think I could have done it."

    我想我是做不到的。"

  • Boy, did that make me feel awful.

    天啊,這讓我感覺很糟糕。

  • Is my love for my child not strong?

    我對孩子的愛不強烈嗎?

  • Another person decided to be my spokesperson,

    另一個人決定做我的代言人。

  • guiding other folks on how and when to interact with me,

    指導其他鄉親如何、何時與我互動。

  • all without my knowledge or consent.

    都是在我不知情或不同意的情況下。

  • A few folks just maintained absolute stoic and deafening silence,

    幾個人只是保持著絕對的隱忍和震耳欲聾的沉默。

  • which in some ways trivialized my loss.

    這在某種程度上輕視了我的損失。

  • Some spent a ton of water-cooler time

    有些人花了大量的水冷時間

  • speculating if I would be any good at all at work,

    猜測我在工作中是否會有什麼好的表現。

  • coming back from such a devastating loss.

    從這樣一個毀滅性的損失回來。

  • Time, frankly, would have been better spent

    時間,坦率地說,會被更好地利用。

  • in figuring out how to help me instead.

    在想辦法幫助我,而是。

  • And then there was that moment where I had to console someone,

    還有那一刻,我不得不安慰別人。

  • very distraught,

    非常心煩意亂。

  • who said, "I understand your loss.

    他說:"我理解你的損失。

  • My dog died last year."

    我的狗去年死了。"

  • Empathy training can help avoid that inherent awkwardness

    同理心訓練可以幫助避免這種固有的尷尬。

  • in dealing with loss.

    在處理損失時。

  • It can give people the confidence to bring their whole self to work,

    它可以讓人們有信心把整個自我帶到工作中去。

  • and the people around them,

    和身邊的人。

  • the awareness to accept them for who they are.

    意識到要接受他們的身份。

  • And together,

    並一起。

  • we'll all be better for it.

    我們都將是更好的它。

  • Empathy training can help people acknowledge

    同理心訓練可以幫助人們認識到

  • that a coworker is a very different person after a life-changing loss,

    同事在經歷了人生的改變後,變得截然不同。

  • and ask that simple and direct question:

    並提出這個簡單而直接的問題。

  • what would you like me to do differently to help you?

    你希望我怎麼做才能幫助你?

  • There will come a day when I finally see my daughter,

    總會有一天,我終於見到我的女兒。

  • my little girl,

    我的小女兒。

  • again.

    再次。

  • And as she always did,

    就像她一貫的做法一樣。

  • she's going to make fun of me for working so much.

    她會取笑我工作太多。

  • But she knew.

    但她知道。

  • She knew that she was the top priority --

    她知道,她是最優先的 -

  • number one priority.

    頭等大事。

  • And she will be thankful that work helped Dad live a purposeful life

    而她會感謝工作幫助爸爸過上了有意義的生活。

  • after she was gone.

    在她走後。

  • It is such an incredible relief

    這真是一種不可思議的解脫

  • that the loss I experienced is not as common.

    我所經歷的損失並不常見。

  • A child dying ahead of the parent is just absolutely horrific --

    孩子先於父母死亡是絕對可怕的 -- --

  • the most nightmarish and unnatural thing to happen.

    最噩夢般、最不自然的事情發生了。

  • But loss in itself is not uncommon.

    但損失本身並不稀奇。

  • When done right,

    如果做得對。

  • returning to work can help us survive loss and grief.

    重返工作崗位可以幫助我們渡過損失和悲傷。

  • And companies can help do it right,

    而企業可以幫助做好。

  • by fostering a culture of empathy in the workplace.

    通過在工作場所培養同理心文化。

  • It's not a burden or a lot of effort or expense.

    這不是一種負擔,也不是很多的努力和花費。

  • And creating such a workplace,

    而創造這樣的工作環境。

  • where empathy is core to the culture --

    同理心是文化的核心 -- --

  • it will be one of the best investments a company can make.

    這將是公司能做的最好的投資之一。

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你了

Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

謄寫者: Leslie GauthierLeslie Gauthier 審稿人: Krystian ApartaKrystian Aparta

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B1 中級 中文 TED 同理心 工作 損失 悲傷 重返

公司支持悲痛員工的3種方式|Tilak Mandadi (3 ways companies can support grieving employees | Tilak Mandadi)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 19 日
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