THE SHOW.

節目：

THANKS FOR JOINING ME, HERE IN MY GARAGE.

謝謝你和我一起，在我的車庫裡。

REGGIE, THE BAND, AND IAN ARE ALL JOINING ME REMOTELY.

REGGIE，樂隊，和IAN都和我一起遠程。

AND, YOU KNOW, DESPITE HOW WEIRD THIS SETUP IS, WE'VE GOT A GOOD

而且，你知道，儘管這個設置是多麼的奇怪，我們已經得到了一個很好的。

SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU.

為您策劃的演出。

WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE DASHING ROB LOWE.

我們將與 "閃電羅伯-洛夫 "交談。

AND LATER, WE HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM ZOE WEES.

之後，我們有一個來自ZOE WEES的表演。

YOU'LL WANT TO STICK AROUND FOR THAT.

你會想留下來的。

BUT IT'S MONDAY, THE WEEKEND JUST HAPPENED.

但今天是週一，週末剛剛發生了。

A POINTLESS QUESTION, BUT WE STILL ASK, WHAT DID YOU GET UP

一個無關緊要的問題，但我們還是要問，你起床了嗎？

TO THIS WEEKEND, REGGIE?

到這個週末，雷吉？

IAN?

IAN？

>> Reggie: PARTY CENTRAL.

>> 雷吉：黨中央。

>> WAS IT PARTY CENTRAL, REG WHAT DID YOU DO?

>> 是黨中央，雷格你做了什麼？

>> Reggie: OH MAN, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

>> 哦，夥計，你不會相信的。

I TOOK LIKE A HUGE DOSE OF THC AND THEN I-- .

我採取了像一個大劑量的THC，然後我 - 。

>> James: AND BEFORE YOU KNEW IT IT WAS MONDAY.

>> 詹姆斯。在你意識到之前，已經是週一了。

>> Reggie: EXACTLY, NOW I'M HERE.

>> 完全正確，現在我在這裡。

>> James: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE AN

>> 詹姆斯。我能告訴你一件事嗎？

IMPACT ON TONIGHT'S SHOW?

對今晚節目的影響？

THERE IS A FLY IN HERE.

有一隻蒼蠅在這裡。

>> Reggie: OH NO.

>> 哦，不。

>> James: HE'S TOYING WITH ME.

>> 詹姆斯。他在玩弄我。

BECAUSE IT WAS HERE BEFORE, WE STARTED.

因為它之前就在這裡，我們開始了。

AND I WAS LIKE-- THAT.

而我就像...

AND THEN I THOUGHT OH, HE'S GONE.

然後我想，哦，他走了。

I JUST SAW HIM EMERGE.

我剛剛看到他出現了。

>> BREAKING BAD GOT AN ENTIRE EPISODE OU OF THIS.

>> 破碎的壞得到了一個完整的EPISODE的這一點。

SO I THINK WE MIGHT BE IN GOOD SHAPE.

所以我想我們可能是在良好的狀態。

>> James: YES, THAT WAS MY LEAST FAVORITE EPISODE OF

>> 詹姆斯。是的，這是我最不喜歡的EPISODE的。

BREAKING BAD.

壞人。

AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF SAYING THAT TO BRYAN CRANSTON.

我犯了一個錯誤，對布萊恩・克蘭斯頓說了這句話。

>> IT WAS IN A CONVERSATION AND YOU DID THAT WHOLE ONE JUST YOU

>> 在一次談話中，你就這樣做了。

AND THAT GUY TALKING ABOUT A FLY.

還有那個傢伙說的是一隻蒼蠅。

AND HE WENT-- AND BRYAN, LOVELIEST MAN ON PLANET EARTH

他去了... 和布賴恩，地球上最可愛的人，

WENT, DUDE, YOU KNOW, IT WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE'S FAVORITE

去了，夥計，你知道，它是很多人的最愛。

EPISODE.

EPISODE.

AND I THOUGHT THIS COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS HERE.

我想這可以去兩種方式中的一種在這裡。

I COULD EITHER GO OH NO, I LOVE IT, I'M KIDDING.

我既可以去哦，不，我喜歡它，我在開玩笑。

I JUST WENT NO.

我只是去了沒有。

NOW GUYS, I I'VE GOT IT TO TELL YOU, I HAVE BOT SOME GOOD NEWS.

夥計們，我得告訴你們，我有一些好消息。

I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR ALL OF YOU, FOR EVERYONE AT HOME.

我有一些好消息要告訴你們，給家裡的所有人。

THIS, RIGHT NOW, WE ARE IN THE FINAL FULL WEEK OF THE TRUMP

現在，我們正處於特朗普事件的最後一個星期

PRESIDENCY!

總統！

FINAL WEEK.

最後一週。

YEAH.

是的。

BUT APPARENTLY AFTER THE AWFUL DISPLAY THAT WE SAW LAST WEEK,

但顯然，在上週我們看到的可怕的展示之後，。

57% OF AMERICANS NOW WANT PRESIDENT TRUMP REMOVED FROM

57%的美國人現在希望特朗普總統下臺。

OFFICE IMMEDIATELY THE OTHER 42% WERE BUSY DRY CLEANING THEIR

其餘42%的人正忙著乾洗自己的辦公室。

AMERICAN FLAG AND BUFFALO HAT AND COULDN'T BE REACHED FOR

美國國旗和布法羅帽子，無法聯繫到你。

COMMENT.

評論：

57% OF AMERICANS WOULD LIKE TRUMP OUT.

57%的美國人希望特朗普出局。

DID WE NEED THIS POLL, ANYONE?

我們需要這個民意調查嗎，有人嗎？

I THOUGHT THIS IS WHAT ELECTIONS WERE FOR BUT BASICALLY THIS IS

我以為這就是選舉的目的，但基本上，這就是。

THE PART OF THE MOVIE WHERE AMERICA HAS FINALLY DECIDED THAT

電影的一部分，美國終於決定，

THEY ARE OVER THEIR TOXIC EX.

他們是在他們的毒前。

THEY GET A NEW HAIRCUT, UNWRITTEN BY NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

他們得到了一個新的髮型，納塔莎BEDINGFIELD未寫的。

STARTS PLAYING AND THEY JUST STRIDE PURPOSEFULLY DOWN THE

開始播放，他們只是大步流星地走了下來。

ROAD LETTING THE WORLD KNOW THAT THEY ARE STARTING FRESH.

路讓世界知道，他們正在開始新鮮。

DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS WANT TRUMP OUT ALSO.

國會中的民主黨人也希望特朗普下臺。

THEY ARE TELLING VICE PRESIDENT PENCE THAT HE NEEDS TO INVOKE

他們在告訴彭斯副總統，他需要調用。

THE 259 AMENDMENT AND REMOVE TRUMP FROM OFFICE OR THEY WILL

259修正案，將特朗普趕下臺，否則他們將

IMPEACH TRUMP FOR A SECOND TIME.

暗示特朗普第二次。

THIS IS A LOT ON MIKE PENCE.

這對MIKE PENCE來說是個很大的打擊。

HE'S SO CONCERNED, THIS AFTERNOON HE ALMOST MADE A

他很擔心，今天晚上他幾乎做了一個。

FACIAL EXPRESSION.

面部表達：

THE DEMOCRATS ARE GIVING PENCE UNTIL WEDNESDAY.

民主黨在週三之前都會發放硬幣。

I DONE KNOW WHY WEDNESDAY, THIS IS BASICALLY THE POLITICAL

我知道為什麼週二，這基本上是政治上的。

VERSION OF WHEN A PARENT IS LIKE RIGHT, YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO

版本的當父母是喜歡的權利，你有三秒鐘的時間來

START CLEANING YOUR ROOM, OKAY.

開始清理你的房間，好嗎。

ONE.

一：

TWO.

二：

I MEAN IT.

我的意思是。

TWO AND A HALF.

兩個半。

YOU BETTER START.

你最好開始。

I'M ALMOST THERE.

我快到了。

AND YOU KNOW HOW TRUMP WAS PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM TWITTER

你知道特朗普是如何被永久禁止使用微博的嗎？

ON FRIDAY?

週五？

ACCORDING TO REPORTS, TRUMP WENT QUOTE BALLISTIC AFTER THE

據報道，特魯姆普在美國總統特朗普上臺後，變得很有氣勢。

DECISION.

決定：

I MEAN IS THIS, ARE WE SAYING THAT HE WASN'T BALLISTIC FOR ALL

我的意思是說，我們是不是說他沒有任何球技？

OF THOSE YEARS LEADING UP TO THIS DECISION?

在做出這個決定之前的這些年裡，有多少人？

IT'S ALMOST A PITTEE FOR DONALD TRUMP TO BE THAT ANGRY WITHOUT

唐納德-特朗普沒有那麼生氣，這幾乎是一個委員會。

ACCESS TO TWITTER TMENT IS LIKE LEBRON JAMES TRYING TO DUNK

訪問Twitter TMENT就像LEBRON JAMES試圖扣籃一樣。

WITHOUT A BASKETBALL.

沒有一個籃板球。

I MUST SAY, IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING TO SEE A GUY WHO

我必須說，這有點令人尷尬的看到一個人誰的。

DESPERATELY DRIVES ON ATTENTION FROM OTHER PEOPLE SUDDENLY NOT

極力吸引別人的注意，但卻不知道。

BEING ABLE TO GET THAT ATTENTION.

能夠得到這種關注。

OF COURSE I'M SAYING THIS AS I AM TALKING ABOUT MYSELF DOING A

當然，我這麼說是因為我在說我自己做的事情。

SHOW FROM A GARAGE.

從車庫展示。

MEANWHILE TRUMP ANNOUNCED THAT HE WILL NOT BE ATTENDING JOE

與此同時，特朗普宣佈他將不會出席喬

BIDEN'S INAUGURATION NEXT WEEK MAKES SENSE, HE LIKES TO KEEP A

比登下週舉行就職典禮有意義，他喜歡保持一個。

LOW PROFILE, STAY OUT OF THE PUBLIC EYE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE,

低調，儘量遠離公眾視線。

JUST LET THINGS HAPPEN ORGANICALLY.

只是讓事情發生的有機。

IRONICALLY THE FACT THAT TRUMP ISN'T GOING TO THE INAUGURATION

諷刺的是，特朗普不會去參加就職典禮的事實。

AND CAN'T LIVE TWEET ABOUT IT, IN ITS OWN WAY DOES MAKE AMERICA

和不能活的推特上，在我自己的方式不使美國

GREAT AGAIN.

偉大的再次。

MIKE PENCE PLANS TO ATTEND.

邁克-彭斯計劃出席。

NOW, I KNOW THE VICE PRESIDENT IS TAKING THE HIGH ROAD AND

現在，我知道副主席要走高路了，而且... ...

DOING THE RIGHT THING...

做正確的事... ...

BUT IS THERE A LESS-FESTIVE SENTENCE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

但在英語中是否有一個不那麼喜慶的句子？

THAN "MIKE PENCE PLANS TO ATTEND"?

比 "邁克-彭斯計劃出席 "更重要?

AND WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS, BECAUSE NOW, IN ADDITION TO A

下雨的時候，雨水就會傾瀉而下，因為現在，除此之外，還有

POSSIBLE IMPEACHMENT AND BEING KICKED OFF TWITTER, EVEN

可能的受賄和被踢出Twitter，甚至是

PROFESSIONAL GOLF IS COMING FOR TRUMP.

職業高爾夫將為特朗普而來。

THE P.G.A. ANNOUNCED IT HAS STRIPPED THE 2022 P.G.A.

P.G.A.宣佈已取消2022年的P.G.A.。

CHAMPIONSHIP FROM ONE OF TRUMP'S GOLF COURSES.

來自特朗普的高爾夫球場之一的冠軍獎盃。

IN OTHER WORDS, THE P.G.A.

在其他文字中，P.G.A.

FINALLY FOUND A HOLE THEY DIDN'T WANT.

終於找到了一個他們不想要的洞。

IT'S NICE TO SEE SO MANY PEOPLE TAKING A STAND.

很高興看到這麼多人站在這裡。

IF IS, I MEAN I'M STILL NOT GOING TO WATCH THE GOLF.

如果是，我的意思是我還是不看高爾夫了。

BUT GOOD FOR THEM 6 EVEN GOLF IS TURNING ITS BACK ON

但對他們來說是好事 6甚至高爾夫也開始反悔了。

TRUMP.

特朗普：

THIS IS ALMOST TOO MUCH.

這幾乎是太多了。

THIS IS PROBABLY WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WATCH RITA WILSON AND TOM

這大概就是看麗塔-威爾遜和湯姆的感覺吧。

HANKS ARGUE.

漢克斯爭論。

THEY TOOK AWAY TRUMP'S TWITTER ACCOUNT, NOW THEY'RE TAKING AWAY

他們奪走了特朗普的微博賬號，現在又要奪走。

HIS GOLF TOURNAMENTS.

他的高爾夫比賽。

TRUMP IS ONE "K.F.C. BAN" AWAY FROM A FULL-ON MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

特朗普離精神崩潰只有一個 "K.F.C.禁令 "的距離。

AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THISMENT A MAN IN THE UNITED

我們想給你看這篇《一個男人在聯合國》。

KINGDOM TRIED TO SURPRISE HER CHILD WITH A PEPPA PIG BIRTHDAY

王國試圖用PEPPA豬的生日給她的孩子一個驚喜。

CAKE.

蛋糕。

THIS IS WHAT PEPPA PIG LOOKS LIKE HERE AM

這就是PEPPA PIG在這裡的樣子。

WELL, THE CAKE WENT VIRAL AFTER PEOPLE ONLINE NOTICED IT

好吧，蛋糕走紅後，人們在線上注意到了它

RESEMBLED-- CAN YOU GUESS?

看起來像... 你能猜到嗎？

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

BASICALLY, SHE TRIED TO MAKE A CAKE FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY AND

基本上，她試著做了一個蛋糕的生日派對和

ENDED UP MAKING A CAKE FOR A BACHELORETTE PARTY.

最後做了一個蛋糕的BACHELETTE派對。

YOU CAN'T EVEN CALL THAT A BOTCHED PEPPA PIG CAKE.

你甚至不能把它叫做 "壞掉的胡椒粉豬蛋糕"。

THAT'S A PENIS CAKE WITH EYEBALLS.

這是一個陰莖蛋糕與眼球。

AND FINALLY, THIS IS FUN, YESTERDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME

最後，這是有趣的，昨天是第一次

EVER, AN NFL GAME WAS BROADCAST ON NICKELODEON WHICH MEANT THAT

有一次，NFL的比賽在NICKELODEON上播出，這就意味著

THERE WERE SOME CHANGES TO THE BROADCAST, INCLUDING THE

有一些變化的廣播，包括在廣播的

ADDITION OF VIRTUAL SLIME CANONS.

增加虛擬瘦身大炮。

TO THE END ZONE.

到終點區。

OH, ON THE FLOOR FIRST, THERE WE GO WITH THE SLIME CANONS.

哦，在地板上第一， 我們去與SLIME CANONS。

HEY, THAT IS EPIC.

嘿，這是EPIC。

AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT, WHENEVER THERE WAS A PENALTY,

最重要的是，只要有罰金。

YOUNG SHELL DONE WOULD POP UP AND EXPLAIN.

年輕的貝殼做的會突然出現並解釋。

>> OFFENSE NUMBER 51 FIVE YARD PENALTY, IT REMAINS THIRD

>> 51號進攻，五碼罰球，仍然是第三場。

DOWN.

下。

>> A FALSE START WHEN A DEFENSIVE PLAYER MOVES PRIOR TO

>> 當防守球員在進攻前移動時，出現假啟動。

THE SNAP LIKE WHEN DAD STARTS SHOVELING IN DINNER BEFORE MOM

啪的一聲，就像當爸爸開始在晚餐之前，媽媽開始掃地。

SAYS GRACE.

說GRACE。

>> THANK YOU, YES.

>> 謝謝你，是的。

>> I THINK IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

>> 我覺得它有點可愛。

ALTHOUGH IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT REALLY INTERESTING, YOU KNOW

雖然如果你想讓它變得有趣，你知道... ...

WHAT I SAY, JUST PUT YOUNG SHELL DON ON THE-- SHELDON ON THE

我說什麼，只是把年輕的殼唐在... ...謝爾頓在上。

FIELD.

FIELD：

MAKE IT A BONUS POINT, IF A TEAM CAN GRAB YOUNG SHELL DONE AND

如果一個團隊能夠抓住年輕的貝殼，並使其成為一個加分點。

RUN WITH HIM THE ENTIRE FIELD AND GET HIM OVER THE TOUCHDOWN

和他一起跑遍全場，讓他越過觸地線。

LINE.

線：

>> MEANWHILE ON THE NFL GAME ON BRAVO, INSTEAD OF GATORADE, THE

>> 在BRAVO電視臺的NFL比賽中，在GATORADE電視臺的比賽中

PLAYERS DOUSED THEIR HEAD COACH WITH A TUB OF CHEAP RED WINE.

球員們用一桶廉價的紅葡萄酒給他們的主教練洗澡。

AN NFL GAME ON NICKELODEON.

NFL的比賽在NICKELODEON上進行。

IT ALL WENT FINE UNTIL THE THIRD QUARTER WHEN THE GAME HAD TO BE

一切都很順利，直到第三節比賽不得不進行。

POSTPONED AFTER SPONGEBOB GOT LOADED AND HIT THE FIELD.

暫停後，海綿寶寶得到加載和上場。