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  • -Our next guest has released his latest comedy special,

    -下一位嘉賓發佈了他最新的喜劇特輯。

  • "Out To Lunch," for free on YouTube.

    "Out To Lunch",免費在YouTube上。

  • Please welcome the very funny Mark Normand!

    請歡迎非常有趣的馬克-諾曼德!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Hey, hey. Comedian Mark Normand here.

    嘿,嘿,我是喜劇演員馬克-諾曼德我是喜劇演員馬克-諾曼德

  • We're in New York City,

    我們在紐約市。

  • great town for comedy, but not anymore.

    偉大的城市的喜劇,但不再是。

  • The clubs are closed. So we got to get creative.

    俱樂部都關門了所以我們要發揮創意

  • Let's try this floating comedy club.

    讓我們試試這個漂浮的喜劇俱樂部。

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • Comedy!

    喜劇!

  • [ Foghorn blows ]

    [ Foghorn blows ]

  • Hey, hey, folks!

    嘿,嘿,夥計們!

  • Here we are on the Staten Island Ferry

    我們在史坦頓島渡輪上

  • in New York City.

    在紐約市。

  • Whoo! [ Cheers and applause ]

    嗚![歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • Thanks for coming out. This is good times.

    謝謝你能來這是美好的時光。

  • Good to be here.

    很高興來到這裡。

  • This is kind of like being on the Titanic,

    這有點像在泰坦尼克號上。

  • except it's the economy that's sinking.

    除非是經濟下沉。

  • Yeah, yeah, these are crazy times.

    是啊,是啊,這是個瘋狂的時代。

  • I can't believe we're all here

    我不敢相信我們都在這裡

  • 'cause some guy made love to a bat.

    因為有人跟蝙蝠做愛了

  • Speaking of bats, they actually shut down the production of

    說到蝙蝠,他們實際上是關閉了生產的

  • the movie "Batman" because Batman got corona,

    電影 "蝙蝠俠",因為蝙蝠俠得到了電暈。

  • which doesn't shock me too much,

    這並沒有讓我太震驚。

  • 'cause the wrong part of his face is covered.

    因為他的臉部被遮擋住了

  • Man, corona's starting to feel like the "check engine" light.

    天啊,電暈的感覺就像 "檢查引擎 "的燈。

  • At first, it's scary, but after a while, you're like,

    起初,它是可怕的, 但過了一會兒,你喜歡。

  • "Screw it.

    "去他的吧。

  • I got to go to work."

    我得去上班了。"

  • This has been a wild year.

    今年是瘋狂的一年。

  • 2020. This is the only year my therapist has ever recommended

    2020.這是我的治療師唯一建議的一年。

  • I start living in the past.

    我開始活在過去。

  • I watch the news every day. It's a big bummer.

    我每天都看新聞。這是個大麻煩。

  • I think everybody knows that.

    我想大家都知道。

  • How about that Fauci? He's cute.

    那個Fauci怎麼樣?他很可愛

  • Oh, yeah.

    哦,是的。

  • Fauci -- he's like a COVID groundhog.

    Fauci -- 他就像一隻COVID土撥鼠。

  • Every time I see him, I'm like,

    每次我看到他,我就像。

  • "Aah, we got six more weeks of pandemic."

    "啊,我們還有六個星期的流行病。"

  • Oh, he's so little. I love him.

    哦,他是如此的小。我愛他。

  • Yeah, the NBA. That's weird, too.

    是啊,NBA。這也很奇怪。

  • There's no one in the seats. How eerie is that?

    座位上沒有人。多麼詭異啊?

  • No one in the seats at the NBA games.

    NBA比賽的座位上沒有人。

  • I got an idea.

    我有一個想法。

  • All those racist statues you tore down?

    你拆掉的那些種族主義雕像?

  • Let's put them in the seats.

    讓我們把他們放在座位上。

  • I think that would motivate the players.

    我想這樣可以激發球員的積極性。

  • You know, LeBron's like, "Is that Robert E. Lee?

    你知道,勒布朗就像,"那是羅伯特-E-李嗎?

  • Alright, we got to win this one."

    好吧,我們得贏下這一場。"

  • Yeah, everybody needs a break right now.

    是啊,每個人都需要休息,現在。

  • I went to the hot-dog-eating contest in Brooklyn.

    我去參加了布魯克林的吃熱狗比賽。

  • It was nice, but I got to say,

    很好,但我得說。

  • the hot dog is the perfect symbol for America,

    熱狗是美國的完美象徵。

  • because it's enjoyable, but once you find out how it was made,

    因為它是享受的,但一旦你發現它是如何製作的。

  • you're like, "Ooh!

    你想,"哦!

  • I didn't want to know."

    我不想知道。"

  • We all got to come together.

    我們都得走到一起。

  • A lot of tension out there.

    外面的氣氛很緊張。

  • I have no hatred towards any group.

    我對任何群體都沒有仇恨。

  • You know, we're all the same color on the inside.

    你知道,我們的內心都是一樣的顏色。

  • Well, except for smokers.

    嗯,除了吸菸者。

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    是啊,是啊,是啊。

  • Everybody's upset about something.

    每個人都有不開心的事情。

  • Everybody's very sensitive right now.

    現在大家都很敏感。

  • My buddy's a vegan. Ooh!

    我朋友是素食主義者哦!

  • I'm walking on eggshells around this guy.

    我在這傢伙身邊走來走去。

  • He really hates that.

    他真的很討厭這樣。

  • Yeah, I went to a strip club in Texas.

    是的,我去了德州的一家脫衣舞俱樂部。

  • Man, it's so weird. The women have to wear masks.

    男人,它是如此奇怪。女人都要戴面具。

  • It's crazy.

    太瘋狂了

  • I had to go get a private dance, you know,

    我得去跳個私人舞,你知道的。

  • and the stripper was like, "Hey, tell me a joke."

    和脫衣舞娘一樣, "嘿,告訴我一個笑話。"

  • I'm like, "Look, I'm not at work.

    我想,"你看,我不是在工作。

  • You are."

    你是。"

  • I brought my girlfriend to a pet shop.

    我帶女友去寵物店。

  • You got to get a dog these days.

    這年頭,你得養條狗。

  • That will make you feel better.

    這將使你感覺更好。

  • Brought my girlfriend to a pet shop.

    帶我女朋友去寵物店。

  • Geez Louise!

    天啊,路易絲!

  • The pet shop -- that is the strip club for women.

    寵物店--那是女人的脫衣舞俱樂部。

  • A woman in a pet shop is like a horny guy at a strip club.

    寵物店裡的女人就像脫衣舞俱樂部裡的色狼。

  • She just walks in.

    她就這麼走了進來。

  • She can barely handle it like, "Oh, my God.

    她幾乎不能處理它喜歡,"哦,我的上帝。

  • I want to touch them all."

    我想把它們都摸一遍。"

  • I had to be like, "Hey, relax.

    我不得不說:"嘿,放鬆。

  • Some of these are broken homes. They might bite you."

    有些是破家。他們可能會咬你。"

  • Yeah, she was just going down the line like a horny guy.

    是啊,她就像個好色之徒一樣下線。

  • "That one's beautiful. That one's gorgeous.

    "那個人真漂亮。那個人真漂亮。

  • That's my favorite. I like that one the best."

    這是我最喜歡的。我最喜歡那個。"

  • You know?

    你知道嗎?

  • The manager was like, "Hey, that's Roxy.

    經理就說:"嘿,那是洛克希。

  • Everybody likes Roxy. Yeah, yeah. Bring over Roxy."

    每個人都喜歡洛克希。是啊,是啊。帶過洛克希。"

  • Yeah, now they go to a private area.

    是啊,現在他們去一個私人區域。

  • They put her on her lap. They're having a great time.

    他們把她放在她的腿上。他們玩得很開心。

  • She's like, "I swear to God, Roxy's in love with me."

    她就像,"我向上帝發誓,洛克希愛上了我。"

  • I'm like, "No, she's just looking for a better life."

    我想,"不,她只是在尋找一個更好的生活。"

  • Thanks a lot. I'm Kevin Hart. Enjoy the second wave.

    謝謝你,我是凱文・哈特 Thanks a lot.我是Kevin Hart.享受第二波。

  • Thank you, New York! Have a good night.

    謝謝你,紐約!祝你有一個美好的夜晚。

  • Comedy!

    喜劇!

  • [ Sea gulls squawking ]

    [海鷗叫聲]

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Mark Normand.

    馬克-諾曼德

  • For more info, visit marknormandcomedy.com.

    更多資訊,請訪問marknormandcomedy.com。

-Our next guest has released his latest comedy special,

-下一位嘉賓發佈了他最新的喜劇特輯。

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馬克-諾曼德站立 (Mark Normand Stand-Up)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 11 日
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