>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

>> Stephen:歡迎回來，各位。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向先生問好。JON BATISTE.

HELLO, JON.

你好，喬恩。

WELCOME TO DAY TWO OF 2021.

歡迎來到2021年的第二日。

>> Jon: I KNOW, WE IN IT, MAN.

>> 喬恩。我知道，我們在裡面，夥計。

WE CAN'T GO BACK.

我們不能回去了。

>> Stephen: YOU HOLDING IT TOGETHER?

>> 史蒂芬：你把它抱在一起？

>> Jon: I'M HOLDING IT TOGETHER.

>> 喬恩。我把它抱在一起。

>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T GO BACK.

>> 史蒂芬：你不能回去了。

THE ARROW OF TIME POINTS IN ONE DIRECTION.

時間之箭指向一個方向。

>> Jon: WE HAVE TO KEEP MOVING, MAN.

>> 我們必須繼續前進，夥計。

I'M MOVING FORWARD.

我正在前進。

I'M MOVING WELL.

我移動得很好。

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

你怎麼樣？

>> Stephen: I'M DOON FINE.

>> Stephen:我是DOON罰款。

ONE OF THE REASONS I AM DOING SO FINE SIHAD A VERY, VERY MOVING

我做得這麼好的原因之一，西哈德一個非常，非常動人的。

EXPERIENCE OVER THE BREAK.

休會期間的經驗：

I SAW "SOUL" THE NEW PIXAR CLASSIC STARRING JAMIE FOXX AND

我看到了 "靈魂 "新的皮克斯經典主演傑米-福克斯和。

WITH A SOUNDTRACK BY TRENT REZNOR.

搭配TRENT REZNOR的音軌。

BUT JAZZ COMPOSITIONS PERFORMED AND COMPOSED BY MR. JON BATISTE.

BUT JAZZ COMPOSITIONS PERFORMED AND COMPOSED BY MR. JON BATISTE.

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, JON.

絕對美麗的，喬恩。

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

絕對的美麗。

>> Jon: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> 喬恩：謝謝你這麼多

>> Stephen: IT'S FUNNY, I LAUGHED, I CRIED, I WAS MOVED.

>> 史蒂芬：這很有趣，我笑了，我哭了，我被感動了。

IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO LOOKALITY.

它的美麗到LOOKALITY。

ONLY ONE COMPLAINT-- NEED MORE JON BATISTE.

只有一個抱怨 -- 需要更多的JON BATISTE。

NOT ENOUGH JON BATISTE.

不夠喬恩-巴蒂斯特。

>> Jon: I ALWAYS LOVE MORE JON BATISTE.

>> 喬恩我總是喜歡更多的喬恩・巴蒂斯特。

WE HAVE TO GET THE PEOPLE MORE JON BATISTE.

我們必須讓人們更多的JON BATISTE。

I'M WITH IT.

我與它。

>> Stephen: PEOPLE CAN GO GET THIS ALBUM, TOO, RIGHT?

>> Stephen:人們可以去得到這張專輯，太，對不對？

>> Jon: IT'S OUT RIGHT NOW.

>> 現在就出來了。

YOU CAN STREAM IT, AND VINYL, TOO, FOR THE VINYL LISTENERS.

你可以把它和黑膠唱片串起來，給黑膠唱片聽眾。

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, OF COURSE.

>> Stephen:當然，當然。

IT MAKES THE ANIMATION MUCH WARMER.

它使動畫更溫暖。

>> Jon: RIGHT, RIGHT.

>> 喬恩：對，對。

>> Stephen: WELL, JON, DO YOU HAVE-- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING-- I

>> Stephen:喬恩，你有... 你有什麼東西... ...

KNOW YOU WROTE THESE JAZZ COMPOSITIONS.

知道你寫了這些爵士樂曲。

ANYTHING YOU CAN PLAY FOR US THAT IS INSPIRED BY WHAT YOU

任何你能為我們演奏的東西，是受你的靈感啟發的

WERE INSPIRED TO WRITE IN "SOUL."

被啟發寫在 "靈魂"。

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> 喬恩。YEAH.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: YOU GOT THE GIG,

>> 你得到了演出的機會。

TEACH.

教。

JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

JON BATISTE，每個人。

YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME SLOWLY BRAISING THE DAY'S MOST

你知道嗎，我花了很多時間慢慢醞釀當天最重要的事情。

TOPICAL VEAL SHANKS IN WHITE WINE, TOPPING IT WITH THE

在白葡萄酒中加入主題瓣膜，並在其上加註白葡萄酒。

TIMELIEST GREMOLATA AND NEWSIEST BEEF STOCK, TO PREPARE FOR YOU

最時髦的玉米麵和最新的牛肉，為您準備。

THE THREE MICHELIN-STAR OSSO BUCCO THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. BUT

三顆米其林星級的奧索布科，這是我的獨白。但是

SOMETIMES, I RUN TO BOSTON MARKET, SLAP THE CONTENTS OF

有時候，我跑到波士頓市場，把《中國時報》的內容拍下來，然後把《中國時報》的內容拍下來，然後把《中國時報》的內容拍下來。

THEIR FAMILY MEAL DEAL ONTO A TV DINNER TRAY AND DROWN IT IN

他們的家庭飯局上的電視晚餐盤，並把它扔在。

AN UNHEATED JAR OF GRAVY TO CREATE THE RECENTLY-DIVORCED-DAD

一罐未加熱的肉罐子來創造最近離婚的爸爸。

SUNDAY PLATTER OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

週日新聞板塊，這是我的部門。

>> QUARANTINE-WHILE.

>> QUARANTINE-WHILE.

>> Stephen: THE LATEST MAJOR ARCHEOLOGICAL FINDING IN POMPEII

>> Stephen: POMPEII的最新重大考古發現

IS A STREET FOOD STALL.

是一個街頭小吃攤。

THIS DISCOVERY HELPS US ANSWER SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ANCIENT

這個發現幫助我們回答了許多關於古代的問題。

ROME, LIKE, "WHAT DID THEY EAT?" AND "HAS GUAC ALWAYS BEEN

羅馬，像 "他們吃了什麼？"和 "瓜爾克一直是

EXTRA?" ONE OF THE MOST FASCINATING

額外的？"一個最流行的

THINGS ABOUT THE FIND IS ITS DECOR.

關於發現的東西是我的裝飾。

RESEARCHERS FOUND "PAINTED PANELS ON THE FRONT OF A COUNTER

研究人員發現了 "櫃檯前的彩繪板"。

INCLUDED A CENTRAL IMAGE OF A NEREID, THE MYTHOLOGICAL SEA

包括一幅尼瑞德的中心影像，即神話中的海洋。

NYMPH."

NYMPH。"

THE LOGO'S A MERMAID?

LOGO是美人魚？

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE UNEARTHED THE WORLD'S FIRST

女士們，先生們，我們已經發現了世界上第一顆星

STARBUCKS.

星巴克。

THE THEORY WAS CONFIRMED WHEN THEY FOUND A PETRIFIED DUDE

當他們發現一個石化的傢伙時，這個理論得到了證實。

WORKING ON HIS SCREENPLAY.

工作在他的螢幕上播放。

OTHER DECORATIONS INCLUDED FRESCOES OF DUCKS, A ROOSTER,

其他裝飾品包括鴨子的臉譜、公雞。

AND A DOG, AS WELL AS A SIGN THAT READ, "NO TOGA, NO SANDALS,

和一隻狗，以及一個標誌，寫著，"沒有TOGA，沒有涼鞋。

NO SERVITIUM."

沒有SERVITIUM。"

WE SOMETIMES ACQUIRE ENOUGH VAGINA-RELATED STORIES THAT WE

我們有時會獲得足夠的陰道相關的故事，我們

COLLECT THEM ALL IN OUR VAGUINA SUB-SUBSEGMENT, VAGEEN-WHILE.

收集這些都在我們的陰道子子欄目，VAGEEN-WHILE。

COLLECT THEM ALL IN OUR VAGUINA SUB-SUBSEGMENT, VAGEEN-WHILE.

收集這些都在我們的陰道子子欄目，VAGEEN-WHILE。

AN ART INSTALLATION IS CAUSING WHATEVER IS PORTUGUESE FOR

一個藝術裝置正在引起什麼是葡萄牙的。

"KERFUFFLE," BECAUSE "A 108-FOOT LONG CONCRETE VAGINA SCULPTURE

"KERFUFFLE"，因為 "一個108英尺長的混凝土陰道雕塑"。

EMBEDDED ON A HILLSIDE HAS SPARKED FURY IN BRAZIL."

埋藏在山坡上的東西在巴西引發了憤怒。"

HOLY GEORGIA O'KEEFE!

神聖的喬治亞-奧基夫！

I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ART, BUT THAT IS CLEARLY BRAZILIAN.

我對藝術一竅不通，但這顯然是巴西人的作品。

VAGEEN-WHILE, "BRITAIN ON FRIDAY BECAME THE LATEST COUNTRY TO

VAGEEN-WHILE，"英國在星期五成為最遲進入中國的國家。

ELIMINATE SALES TAXES ON WOMEN'S SANITARY PRODUCTS,"

取消婦女衛生用品的銷售稅，"

KNOWN AS THE SO-CALLED 'TAMPON TAX.'"

被稱為所謂的 "坦蓬稅"。"

THIS IS SOMETHING ENGLAND COULD DO ONLY AFTER BREXIT BECAUSE

這是英國在英國脫歐後才可以做的事情，因為

"UNDER E.U. LAW, NATIONS CANNOT REDUCE THE RATE OF VALUE-ADDED

"根據歐盟法律，各國不能降低增值率。

TAX ON MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS BELOW 5% AS THEY ARE DEEMED TO BE

低於5%的男性產品稅，因為它們被認為是。

LUXURY ITEMS."

奢侈品。"

YEP, THOSE EUROPEANS AND THEIR LUXURY VAGINAS.

是的，那些歐洲人和他們豪華的陰道。

IT SOUNDS SILLY, BUT IN FRANCE, BY LAW, ALL THE FEMININE PADS

這聽起來很滑稽，但在法國，根據法律，所有的女用墊子都是如此

ARE MADE BY LOUIS VUITTON, 800 BUCKS ON

由路易-威登製造，800塊錢就能買到。

GOOP.

GOOP：

>> "THE GREAT GATSBY" IS AND ALL YOUR FAVORITE WORKS FROM 1925

>> "偉大的蓋茨比 "是和所有你最喜歡的1925年的作品

HAVE NOTICE ENTERED THE PUBLIC DOMAIN.

已通知進入公共領域。

FINALLY!

終於！

I NO LONGER HAVE TO PAY ROYALTIES TO THE VIRGINIA WOOLF

我再也不用向弗吉尼亞州羊毛協會支付皇室成員的費用了。

ESTATE FOR "STEPHEN COLBERT IS MRS. DALLOWAY!"

"史蒂芬-科爾伯特是達洛維夫人！"的遺產。

THEY DON'T DESERVE A CUT.

他們不應該被削減。

ADDING THE JET SKI CHASE SCENE WAS ALL MY IDEA.

增加噴氣式滑雪追逐的場景是我的主意。

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DR. SANJAY GUPTA.

我們馬上回來與SANJAY GUPTA博士。

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪