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  • So, last night, I was at the drug store refilling my prescription for...

    所以我昨晚在一間藥局拿藥,為了……

  • You know what? It's not even your business, actually!

    你知道嗎?不干你們的事!

  • I was at the drug store, and I was shopping, and I realized we have way too many choices of every kind of product.

    我在一間藥局採買,然後我發現我們實在有太多選擇了。

  • Don't you think there are so many different things out there?

    不覺得市面上有很多選擇嗎?

  • The world is cluttered.

    世界被堆的亂七八糟的。

  • You know, they say variety is the spice of life, but maybe we're getting too spicy.

    他們說「多樣性是人生的香料」 但這味道可能下太重了。

  • 'Cause the amount.... Let me just show you.

    東西的數量……我直接秀給你們看。

  • I brought some of these things back.

    我把一些東西帶回來了。

  • And I put it on my expense account, so I could just buy everything.

    為了將每樣東西都買回來,我把帳記在公司的公帳下。

  • These are toothpastes that are just at that one drug store.

    這是單單一間藥局的牙膏。

  • Isn't that ridiculous?

    是不是很荒謬?

  • Okay. Here's one I found.

    這是其中一個。

  • This is Aquafresh.

    「家護牙膏」。

  • And it's called extreme clean.

    然後它是「極致潔淨」。

  • And it has whitening action.

    還有亮白作用。

  • Right there, if you see that.

    就在這,看到了嗎?

  • Alright, so you have the whitening action, and, which is, who doesn't want that?

    好,所以我們有亮白功能,誰不想要亮白?

  • I'm not gonna pass that up.

    我絕對不會錯過這個。

  • Until you get to the next one.

    直到你看到下一個。

  • You see this one, Aquafresh advanced two times whitening.

    「家護進階『雙效』亮白」。

  • Now, why wouldn't I choose that?

    現在,叫我怎麼不選這個?

  • So that to me, if you don't have a flash light, you're teeth can help you see in the dark.

    假如你沒有手電筒,牙齒就可以在黑暗中充當照明。

  • Just smile. and you see where you're going.

    笑一個,你就知道該往哪走。

  • Here's one, this is Crest, and it's 3D white, which means your teeth will be incredibly white, but only people with special glasses can see them.

    這裡還有「Crest 3D 亮白」,意思是你的牙齒會無比亮白,但只有戴著特殊眼鏡的人才看得到。

  • This is interesting. Someone came up with this.

    這個有趣了,有個人想出這個點子。

  • Crest, and it's whitening with, of course, everybody wants the whitening.

    「Crest 亮白」當然,所有人都想要亮白。

  • There's nothing that says "not whitening."

    沒有東西寫著「不亮白」。

  • Uh, whitening plus scope and then it has citrus splash.

    亮白加上「Scope 漱口水」再加上飛濺柑橘風味。 (註:Crest 和 Scope 皆為 P&G 底下的口腔清潔品牌,Crest 是牙膏,Scope 是漱口水)

  • See that?

    看到了嗎?

  • It's the wonderful taste of drinking orange juice right after you brush your teeth.

    就是刷完牙後,喝橘子汁的美妙風味。

  • We're all looking for that delicious flavor in your mouth.

    大家都在渴望口腔有這個可口風味。

  • Alright, here are the choices of deodorants that I found.

    好,這是我找到的除臭劑選項。

  • A lot of deodorants.

    真的很多除臭劑。

  • Now, thanks to extreme couponing, you're not gonna believe this: I got all this, 38 cents.

    多虧「折價省錢王」 (註:折價省錢王是旅遊生活頻道的節目。教人如何用折價卷省大錢。) 你們絕對不會相信,我買這些只花了 38 分。

  • Now, if your favorite deodorant is Secret, you're in luck, because here are some of the deodorant choices for Secret.

    假如你最喜歡的除臭劑品牌是 Secret,那你走運了,因為這裡有一些 Secret 的產品選擇。

  • Secret comes in a spray which I thought was illegal.

    Secret 有出噴霧,但我以為這是違法的。 (註:美國和澳洲有些地方隨身攜帶防身噴霧是違法的)

  • And, so you can have that if you want....

    所以假如你喜歡,可以買到這個……

  • I don't know who's still using spray.

    我不知道現在還有誰在使用噴霧。

  • How many people are still using spray for under your arms?

    還有多少人在腋下使用噴霧?

  • Really? Um... OK.

    真的嗎? 哦.....好吧。

  • One person, it's good. Here it is.

    一個人!很好,這就是給你的!

  • It's right here for you.

    專屬給你。

  • That's why they still have it as an option.

    這就是為何仍有這個產品選項。

  • And then here is one that's pH balance, right here.

    然後這還有一個「pH 值平衡」

  • And I don't need that, because my pool guy does that for me.

    我不需要這個,我的泳池維護員會幫我處理。(註:泳池酸鹼性一般維持在中性偏鹼,所以每過一陣子要用藥劑重新平衡酸鹼性,此處 Ellen 用雙關)

  • Here's another Secret, this is called "Flawless Renewal".

    這裡又一有個 Secret 產品 ,這個叫「無暇再生」。

  • Flawless Renewal.

    「無暇再生」。

  • What does that mean?

    到底什麼意思?

  • Carol, what are you using?

    Carol 是用了什麼?

  • You have the armpits of a twenty-year-old.

    你的胳肢窩跟一個二十歲的人一樣。

  • If none of these are what you want, you can use clinical strength sport.

    假如這些都不是你要的,你可以用「診所級運動款」。

  • Look at that!

    你看看!

  • It says it's marathon fresh scent.

    它寫著「馬拉松清爽香氣」。

  • Marathon fresh that is like saying locker room breeze.

    「馬拉松清爽香氣」這就像是在說「更衣室裡的微風」 (註:意指充滿汗臭味)

  • I don't understand all the choices we have, but I guess people like choices.

    我不懂這些選擇,但我猜人們喜歡選擇。

  • So, I'm gonna give you a choice right now.

    所以我現在就要給你們一個選擇。

  • My back has been out, and it's still healing, but your choices are, I can either not dance at all or I can dance very very slowly.

    我的背最近不太舒服,正在康復中。你們的選擇是:我可以完全不跳舞,或是我可以非常非常緩慢的跳舞。 (註:Ellen 每集在開場後都會跳一支舞與現場觀眾互動,是節目的著名橋段)

  • (Dance!!!)

    (跳!)

  • Alright!!

    好呀!

So, last night, I was at the drug store refilling my prescription for...

所以我昨晚在一間藥局拿藥,為了……

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