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  • [CollegeHumor Originals.]

    [CollegeHumor 原創影片]

  • Oh... hello.

    喔... 哈囉。

  • Do it.

    來吧!

  • Take a selfie.

    來自拍。

  • Here?

    這裡?

  • -In the bathroom? -Mm-hmm

    -在廁所?-嗯哼

  • Isn't that a little narcissistic?

    不會有點自戀嗎?

  • Selfies are empowering.

    自拍使人感到自信與獨立。

  • They help young girls redefine the standards of beauty.

    自拍幫助年輕女孩重新定義美的標準。

  • Oh, that's nice.

    喔,那很好啊!

  • So stick out your tits and take a picture.

    那就快把你的長輩挺出來拍張照。

  • Okay...

    好...

  • Adorbz!

    敲口愛!

  • I'm just concerning that this is gonna come across as like some pathetic plea for attention.

    我只是在擔心,這會不會像是某種懇求他人注意的可悲行為。

  • Do you know what selfie stands for?

    你知道 selfie 這個字代表什麼嗎?

  • Self-portrait.

    自畫像。

  • Guess who does self-portraits?

    猜猜看誰會畫自畫像。

  • Artists, like Van Gogh.

    藝術家,例如梵谷。

  • And James Franco.

    還有演員詹姆斯・法蘭科。

  • Astronauts take selfies.

    太空人也會自拍。

  • In outer space, as they test the limits of mankind!

    那是在外太空,當他們在挑戰人類極限時!

  • Not in the bathroom where they just took a shit.

    才不是在剛大完便的廁所裡。

  • She made me second-guess my selfie.

    她讓我覺得這不是一個好主意。

  • It's fine, no first draft ever made it to Instagram.

    沒問題的,反正第一張自拍從來不會被 po 上 IG。

  • Just relax.

    放鬆。

  • You know, let your body just fall the way it naturally does.

    你知道,讓身體自然就好。

  • You can't post that.

    你不能 po 這張!

  • You will look like a raging narcissist.

    你會看起像個發瘋的自戀狂。

  • It's the Internet.

    這是網路時代了!

  • Everyone does.

    每個人都這樣!

  • Just hashtag "nomakeup" and text "some money to cancer".

    你就 #素顏,再打上「捐錢給癌症病患」之類的話。

  • That's indulgences.

    這只是在縱容自己。

  • Paying money to be relieved of guilt?

    付點錢來免除罪惡感?

  • No one's gonna buy that.

    沒人會接受的。

  • Why do you give such a fuck what other people think?

    你為什麼這麼在乎別人的想法?

  • Uh... actually I don't give a fuck.

    呃...其實根本我不在乎。

  • That's why I don't post selfies.

    所以我才不 po 自拍照。

  • Well, I don't either.

    這個嘛,我也不在乎。

  • And that's why I do.

    所以我才愛 po 自拍。

  • I also don't give a fuck.

    我也不在乎。

  • Fine.

    隨便啦!

  • Make a weird face but caption it: "Being Silly. What is my life?"

    扮個鬼臉,然後打上標題:「裝個傻,我人生怎麼搞的?」

  • What?

    什麼?

  • No, cute weird.

    不,我說的是可愛的鬼臉。

  • Stick your tongue out, but still have beautiful eyes.

    吐舌頭,但仍然要有電眼。

  • Now look away like you don't know you are taking a picture of yourself.

    現在眼睛看別處,好像你不知道自己在自拍一樣。

  • Does that make sense to you?

    妳懂嗎?

  • What you just said?

    妳剛剛說什麼?

  • Now hold up a sign about feminism, but still have great cleavage. [Feminism is awesome.]

    現在拿起有關女性主義的牌子,但還是要露事業線。[女性主義最棒]

  • It's really starting to seem like you do give a fuck.

    這看起來越來越像妳超級在乎別人的眼光。

  • Oh my God, adorbz.

    噢天啊,敲口愛。

  • Just being a nerd, #nomakeup.

    只是個呆子,#素顏。

  • No one's gonna fall for this.

    才沒有人會相信咧!

  • I don't normally post selfies, but just being goofy, and living life LOL. #cancerresearch

    我通常不 po 自拍照,但今天就當個瞎妹,爽爽過每一天。#癌症研究

  • Oh gross.

    噢,真噁心。

  • Did you see Arence's selfie?

    妳有看到 Arence 的自拍嗎?

  • She is such an attention whore.

    她根本是個想吸引注意力的婊子。

  • It's like, stop shoving your face on my feed.

    拜託不要一直出現在我動態上了。

  • [Adorbz.]

    [超可愛的。]

  • Hey guys, if you liked this video click and subscribe, okay?

    嗨,如果你喜歡這支影片,點擊追蹤好嗎?

  • Because these videos matter, we're here, right now, doing it, Kony 2012, gotta find him, where is he?

    因為這些影片很重要,我們此時此刻正在努力做影片,Joesph Kony (Kony 2012 紀錄片的主角),必須找到他,他在哪?

  • I dunnohe's the... bad guy?

    我不知道,他超…超壞的…?

  • Gotta get at that rascal!

    必須抓到那個惡棍!

[CollegeHumor Originals.]

[CollegeHumor 原創影片]

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