to "The Tonight Show."

到 "今夜秀"。

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Thank you very much for being here.

非常感謝你能來這裡。

We have a great show for you tonight.

我們今晚有一場精彩的演出

Bruce Springsteen is here in studio.

布魯斯-斯普林斯汀在這裡的工作室。

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

I saw Bruce backstage. I said,

我在後臺看到了布魯斯。我說：

"Thank you so much for being here on the first night

"非常感謝你頭天晚上來這裡

of Hanukkah." And Bruce said,

的光明節。"而布魯斯說。

[ As Springsteen ] "Jimmy, for the last time, I'm not Jewish."

"吉米，最後一次，我不是猶太人"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Normal voice ] Let's get to the news and jokes.

讓我們來看看新聞和笑話。

Well, guys, things aren't going too well

好了，夥計們，事情不是很順利。

for President Trump lately, but that didn't stop him

為特朗普總統最近，但這並沒有阻止他。

from throwing a party last night. Watch this.

從拋出一個黨的最後一晚。看這個。

-Overnight, President Trump hosting a Hanukkah party

-一夜之間，特朗普總統舉辦光棍節派對。

at the White House using the holiday gathering to once again

在白宮利用節日聚會，再次

falsely claim he can still win the election.

謊稱自己還能贏得選舉。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Ah, yes, the festival of lies.

啊，是的，謊言的節日。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Even the dreidel was looking at Trump like,

就連德瑞德也像看特朗普一樣。

"Damn, this guy spins more than I do."

"媽的，這傢伙比我還會轉。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I like how everyone whipped out their phones

我喜歡每個人都拿出手機的樣子

to record Trump like it was a drunken fight

記錄特朗普就像它是一個喝醉了的戰鬥。

in a Waffle House. Like,

在華夫餅屋。喜歡。

"Oh, this is going to go viral. This is going to get some hits."

"哦，這是要去病毒。這是要得到一些點擊率。"

It's probably good that Trump talked about the election.

特朗普談及大選，可能是好事。

I feel like him winging the story of Hanukkah

我覺得他就像在講光明節的故事一樣。

might have been worse. It's like,

可能會更糟。這就像。

[ As Trump ] "For eight nights,

"8個晚上。

Jewish Santa would visit all the good little Kushners."

猶太聖誕老人會拜訪所有善良的小庫什納。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Normal voice ] Speaking of the White House,

說到白宮。

I read that once Trump moves out,

我讀到，一旦特朗普搬出去。

officials are going to disinfect the whole building

官員們將對整棟樓進行消毒

before Biden moves in. -Yes!

在拜登上場之前-是的！

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I have a feeling this is going to be necessary

我覺得這是很有必要的。

with or without COVID. [ Laughter ]

與或沒有COVID。[笑聲]

There's a half-eaten Baconator between the cushions here.

墊子中間有一個吃了一半的培根捲餅

"Turn on the black light. Good God! Oh, my --"

"打開黑燈。天啊！哦，我的--"

-Eww! [ Laughter ]

-哦！[笑聲]

-"My retinas are burning! Oh, my --"

"我的視網膜在燃燒！哦，我的--哦，我的--"

Biden's going to be the first president to be sworn in,

拜登將成為第一位宣誓就職的總統。

then spend the next week crashing at a La Quinta.

然後花一個星期的時間在拉昆塔酒店過夜。

Apparently, the CDC told Biden it would be safer

很明顯，疾控中心告訴拜登這樣做會更安全。

if he just moved into a bowling shoe.

如果他剛搬進保齡球鞋。

That doesn't sound -- That doesn't sound right, does it?

這聽起來不... 這聽起來不對，是嗎？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Speaking of Biden, I heard that he might take

說到拜登，我聽說他可能會拿下。

an Amtrak train to his inauguration,

一輛美鐵列車去參加他的就職典禮。

which is slightly different than what other presidents have done.

這與其他總統的做法略有不同。

That brings us to our new educational segment called

這就給我們帶來了新的教育環節，叫做

"Presidential Inaugurations: Betcha Didn't Know!"

"總統就職典禮，你肯定不知道！"總統就職典禮：你不知道！"

-Joe Biden might travel to his inauguration by Amtrak,

喬-拜登可能會坐美鐵去參加他的就職典禮。

but betcha didn't know Jimmy Carter

但你肯定不知道吉米-卡特

traveled to his inauguration

赴任

by shooting himself out of a cannon.

從大炮裡射出自己。

♪♪

♪♪

This has been "Presidential Inaugurations:

這已經是 "總統就職典禮"。

Betcha Didn't Know!" -Yeah, it's amazing.

Betcha Didn't Know！"-是啊，太神奇了。

I didn't know any of that.

這些我都不知道

Listen to this -- a pharmaceutical company

聽聽這個--一家制藥公司

had to issue a recall after two of their drugs got mixed up.

不得不發出召回後，他們的兩個藥物得到了混合了。

Let's see which ones they were.

讓我們來看看他們是哪些人。

-There is a recall this morning after a drug

-今天早上，在一種藥物之後，有一個召回事件。

used to treat depression somehow got bottled up

以前治療抑鬱症的方法，不知怎麼就被憋壞了。

and sent out with the generic form of Viagra!

並送出了偉哥的仿製藥!

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-People knew something was up when, well...

-人們知道有什麼事情發生了，當... ...

-Hey! -...something was up.

-嘿，有事情發生了。

All right? Ah, come on. [ Cymbals playing ]

好嗎？ - 啊，來吧。啊，來吧。[鐃鈸演奏]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yeah, the people in depression commercials were like,

是啊，人們在抑鬱症的廣告是這樣的。

"Why do I have the sudden urge to sit in an outdoor bathtub?"

"為什麼我突然有種想坐在室外浴缸裡的衝動？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Samsung just announced its new 110-inch microLED TV,

三星剛剛發佈了新款110英寸microLED電視。

and it costs about $155,000.

而它的成本約為155,000美元。

Yep, so now you have a 110-inch TV playing

是的，所以現在你有一個110英寸的電視播放。

while you scroll through Instagram on your phone.

當你在手機上滾動瀏覽Instagram時。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Can you lower that?

你能降低嗎？

And finally, I saw that Jay-Z just launched

最後，我看到Jay-Z剛剛推出了

his own premium brand of weed called Monogram.

他自己的優質品牌的雜草叫Monogram。

It must be good. Today, Jay-Z was like,

它必須是好的。今天，Jay-Z很喜歡。

"I got two problems and forgot the other 97!"

"我有兩個問題，卻忘了另一個97！"

You know, some things happen to you in life,

你知道，有些事情發生在你的生活中。

you just go, "Oh, my gosh,

你只是去，"哦，我的天哪。

I love that that just happened

我喜歡這樣的事情發生

because you just made me so happy."

因為你只是讓我這麼開心。"

Well, last night, we just got home from doing our show,

好吧，昨晚，我們剛做完節目回家。

and everyone just started sending me texts and they go,

每個人都剛開始給我發簡訊，他們去。

"Dude, Dionne Warwick just tweeted at you."

"哥們，Dionne Warwick剛剛在推特上對你說了一句話。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

So Dionne Warwick is on Twitter now, and she's like owning.

Dionne Warwick現在在推特上，她就像擁有。

She's running Twitter right now. -Yes.

她現在正在管理Twitter。-是的

-And it's so fun. And it's her. And she tweeted,

-而且它是如此的有趣。而且是她她在推特上寫道：

"Does anybody know if Jimmy Fallon will be doing

"有誰知道吉米-法倫是否會做

the Christmas Sweaters countdown this year?

今年的聖誕毛衣倒計時？

I love those wretched things."

我喜歡那些可憐的東西。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Dionne Warwick.

Dionne Warwick.

I flipped out,

我翻了出來。

and then I tweeted back to her,

然後我就給她回了微博。

and then she tweeted back to me again.

然後她又給我回了微博。

-What? -Yeah. And then I tweeted

-什麼？然後我發了一條微博

back to her again. And then I guess...

再次回到她身邊。然後我想...

Did you send her a playlist?

你給她發了播放列表嗎？

-Oh, she got that? -Dude, she got that and said,

-哦，她知道了？-夥計，她知道了，然後說：

"A playlist from Questlove and a sweater from Jimmy Fallon.

"Questlove的播放列表 和Jimmy Fallon的毛衣。

I'm a happy lady, I can go to bed happy" or something.

我是一個快樂的女人，我可以快樂的睡覺 "之類的。

I'm like, "You are the greatest."

我想，"你是最偉大的。"

My dad...

我爸爸...

I called my dad after that happened

事情發生後，我打電話給我爸

because she performed on his aircraft carrier,

因為她在他的航母上表演。

the USS Constellation in 1968 in San Diego.

1968年，美國海軍星座號在聖地亞哥。

And trust me, I've heard this story my whole life.

相信我，這個故事我聽了一輩子了。

And that's the whole story.

這就是整個故事。

But I think he saw her even backstage and just said

但我覺得他在後臺也看到了她，就說了一句話

how nice he was and all this stuff.

他是多麼好，所有這些東西。

So we've always been fans.

所以我們一直是粉絲。

And my dad said, "I took a photo,"

我爸爸說："我拍了一張照片"

and it's so great. This is so my dad.

它是如此之大。這是我的爸爸。

So I go, "Yeah, you have a photo of Dionne Warwick performing?"

所以我走了，"是啊，你有Dionne Warwick表演的照片？"

And this is 1968.

而這是1968年。

So it's one of those cameras

所以它是那些相機中的一個

that have the cube flash, the spinner.

有立方體閃光燈的，轉盤。

So this is my dad's photo, he says, of Dionne Warwick

所以這是我爸爸的照片，他說，Dionne Warwick的。

performing on his...

在他的...

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

That is his photo of Dionne Warwick,

那是他給迪昂-沃裡克拍的照片。

and it was cool. I mean, I have photos like this,

它是很酷。我的意思是，我有這樣的照片。

too, at concerts where I'm like, "Oh, my gosh,

太，在音樂會上，我想， "哦，我的天哪，"。

I'll never forget it." But he really never forgot this

我永遠不會忘記。"但他真的從來沒有忘記過

and talked about it all the time.

並一直在談論它。

And so I thank Dionne for just being awesome

是以，我感謝Dionne的只是真棒。

and all the jams. She's unbelievable.

和所有的卡姆。她是令人難以置信的。

And I love you, Dionne Warwick, so much.

我也愛你，迪昂-沃裡克，非常愛你。

You just made my whole night and world last night.

你只是讓我的整個夜晚和世界昨晚。

So thank you for bringing up the sweater.

所以，謝謝你提出的毛衣。

We whipped up a special sweater just for you, pal.

我們為你準備了一件特別的毛衣，夥計。

One of these wretched sweaters.

其中一件可憐的毛衣。

Check your mailbox 'cause this guy's coming.

檢查你的郵箱，因為這個傢伙的到來。

Oh, look at this.

哦，看這個。

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

♪♪

♪♪

Only you can rock this, Dionne.

只有你可以搖滾這一點，迪奧尼。

Only you could rock this sweater.

只有你才有能力穿上這件毛衣

You'll make it look good, and we love you.

你會讓它看起來很好，我們愛你。

And thanks for thinking about us and tweeting about us.

也感謝大家對我們的惦記和對我們的推送。

Be well, pal. I hope to see you and talk to you soon.

要好好的，夥計。我希望能儘快見到你，和你談談。

We have exactly seven shows left before we go on Christmas break,

在聖誕假期之前，我們還剩下七場演出。

which means it's time for that beloved

這意味著是時候為心愛的

"Tonight Show" tradition.

"今夜秀 "傳統。

It's time for 12 days of Christmas sweaters!

12天的聖誕毛衣時間到了!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

♪ 12 days of Christmas sweaters ♪

12天的聖誕毛衣

♪ Seven days left ♪

七天了

-That's right! Every show between now and Christmas,

-沒錯！從現在到聖誕節的每一場演出

will be giving one lucky audience member

將給一位幸運觀眾

a sensational Christmas sweater

轟轟烈烈的聖誕毛衣

from the countdown to Christmas cabinet.

從倒計時到聖誕櫃。

Since there are seven shows left,

由於還有七場演出。

let's open door number 7.

讓我們打開7號。

[ Drum roll ] Go for it.

[鼓聲]去吧。

All right. Let's look at it.

好吧，我們來看看。讓我們來看看它。

Beautiful. Oh!

真漂亮哦！

Wow!

哇！

That is...

那是...

That is something else. That is something else.

那是別的東西。這是另一種東西。

Yeah, literally, I think it might be something else.

是啊，從字面上看，我覺得可能是別的什麼東西。

All right. Let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater.

好吧，讓我們看看誰能帶著今晚的毛衣回家。讓我們看看誰會帶著今晚的毛衣回家。

Everyone look at your seat number.

大家看一下自己的座位號。

If I call your number, come on down.

如果我打你的電話，下來吧。

Quest, can I get a drum roll, please?

探索，我可以得到一個鼓聲，好嗎？

-Yeah. [ Drum roll ]

-是啊。[鼓聲]

-It is number...

-這是數字...

364!

364!

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey!

-嘿！

Oh, my goodness. Look at this.

哦，我的天啊。看看這個。

Congratulations, you've won tonight's Christmas sweater.

恭喜你，你贏得了今晚的聖誕毛衣。

What is your name, and where are you from?

你叫什麼名字，來自哪裡？

-Jenny, and I'm from Jersey. -Jenny from Jersey!

-珍妮，我來自新澤西州。-澤西島的珍妮！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Jenny, would you mind trying that on for us right now?

珍妮，你介意現在為我們試穿一下嗎？

Is that okay? -It's my favorite color.

可以嗎？-這是我最喜歡的顏色

It really -- Oh, my gosh.

它真的... ... 哦，我的天哪。

You are going to love this.

你一定會喜歡這個的

There's no right way to put it on.

沒有正確的方法把它。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yeah, your head can go in that way.

是的，你的頭可以往那邊去。

It doesn't really -- They are sleeves.

這不是真的... 他們是袖子。

That works. Yes. Oh, this is --

這就對了是的，這是...哦，這是 -

Already I can tell. Jenny?

我已經看出來了珍妮？

Yes, just stop there. That's perfect.

是的，就停在那裡。這是完美的。

Jenny, it's almost too -- Yeah, it's perfect!

珍妮，它幾乎太 - 是啊，這是完美的！

Look at how beautiful. Yeah. Look. Lookit!

你看多漂亮啊是啊，看你看，你看！看啊！

This is what I'm talking about.

這就是我所說的。

Yeah. Come on, now!

是啊。來吧，現在！

Jenny, look at that.

珍妮，看那個。

You should be our model for all these.

你應該是我們這些人的榜樣。

Congratulations. Thanks again to Jenny,

恭喜你再次感謝珍妮。

our lucky audience member. Stick around.

我們的幸運觀眾。留下來吧

We'll be right back with Bruce Springsteen!

我們馬上回來，布魯斯-斯普林斯汀！

Talking about Jersey? Come on!

說到澤西島？來吧！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪