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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

    *********** 斯蒂芬嘿,大家好。

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

    歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

    讓我們向JON BATISTE問好。

  • HELLO, JON!

    你好,喬恩!

  • HEY, JON, TELL ME ABOUT "PLAY ON LIVE" TONIGHT.

    嘿,喬恩,告訴我今晚的 "現場直播"。

  • >> Jon: OH, YEAH.

    >> 喬恩。哦,是的。

  • >> Stephen: YOU WERE ON THE CBS TONIGHT WITH "THE PLAY ON

    >> 你今晚在CBS的 "The PLAY ON "節目中出現了。

  • LIVE."

    活。"

  • TELL ME ABOUT THAT.

    告訴我吧

  • >> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT, WITH MY FRIEND EMILY KING AND SARAH

    >> 喬恩:這是正確的,與我的朋友埃米莉-金和SARAH。

  • BERRALIS.

    BERRALIS:

  • WE DID A SONG WITH MANY GREAT ARTISTS AND IT BENEFITTED THE

    我們和很多優秀的藝術家一起做了一首歌曲,這讓我們受益匪淺。

  • N.A.A.C.P. LEGAL DEFENSE FUND, AND AN ORGANIZATION I HAVE BEEN

    N.A.A.C.P. LEGAL DEFENSE FUND, AND AN ORGANIZATION HAVE BEEN.

  • INVOLVED WITH AND A FRIEND OF FOR MAN YEARS, THE LAST FIVE,

    過去五年來,我和他是朋友。

  • SIX YEARS.

    六年了

  • WE PLAYED A CURTIS MAYFIELD SONG WITH THE IMPRESSIONS.

    我們和 "印象 "樂隊一起演奏了一首CURTIS MAYFIELD的歌。

  • BEFORE IT WAS JUST CURTIS.

    之前只是CURTIS。

  • PEOPLE GET READY THERE'S A TRAIN A-COMING

    人們準備好有一列火車來了

  • WE DID THAT AND IT WAS KILLING.

    我們這樣做,這是在殺人。

  • STEVE ON THE DRUMS.

    史蒂夫對DRUMS。

  • IT WAS GREAT.

    它是偉大的。

  • I WAS SO HAPPY WITH IT.

    我很高興與它。

  • >> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU, JON.

    >> 喬恩-巴蒂斯特,各位,謝謝你,喬恩。

  • FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME PICKING THE TIMELIEST

    夥計們,你們知道,我花了很多時間來挑選最及時的。

  • STORY APPLES, GRINDING THEM INTO THE PERFECT TOPICAL EXTRACT AND

    故事蘋果,把它們磨成完美的主題內容和

  • MIXING IT WITH CINNAMON, MAPLE SYRUP, ALLSPICE AND OTHER

    與肉桂、楓糖漿、ALLSPICE等混合使用。

  • SEASONALLY-APT AROMATICS TO BREW THE GOURMET ARTISANAL HOT APPLE

    季節性的芳香劑來釀造GOURMET ARTISANAL HOT APPLE。

  • CIDER MUG THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

    CIDER MUG THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

  • BUT ONCE IN A WHILE, I DUMP SOME APPLE SHASTA AND GRAIN

    但偶爾,我扔掉一些蘋果夏士達和穀物。

  • ALCOHOL INTO A ONE-GALLON ZIPLOC BAG, ADD SOME CRUSHED UP FRUIT

    將酒精裝入一加侖的密封袋中,再加入一些水果碎末。

  • BITS I PICKED OUT OF OLD FIG NEWTONS, AND THE RIND OF A

    我從舊的FIG NEWTONS裡撿到的一些東西,以及一個人的故事。

  • JACK-O'-LANTERN LEFT OUTSIDE SINCE HALLOWEEN, TOSS IN SOME

    JACK-O'-LANTERN LEFT OUTSIDE SINCE HALLOWEEN, TOSS IN SOME

  • YEAST, AND FERMENT IT UNDER MY MATTRESS, THEN STRAIN IT THROUGH

    酵母菌,在我的床墊下發酵,然後通過濾網過濾

  • A SOCK TO CREATE THE CONTRABAND TOILET-HOOCH OF NEWS THAT IS MY

    襪子創造了我的新聞的傳統洗碗機--------------。

  • SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, ACCORDING TO A

    SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"QUARANTINE -WHILE!"QUARANTINE -WHILE, ACCORDING TO A.

  • NEW STUDY, YOUR DOG DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

    新研究,您的狗並不知道您在做什麼。

  • TALKING ABOUT.

    談到:

  • YOU CAN SEE ALL THE DETAILS IN THE PRESTIGIOUS "NEW ENGLAND

    您可以在 "新英格蘭 "中看到所有的細節。

  • JOURNAL OF THAT'S WHAT WE ASSUMED."

    這就是我們的假設。"

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, A PHYSICIST DISCOVERED A NEW WAY TO MAKE

    QUARANTINE-WHILE,一位物理學家發現了一種新的製造方法。

  • CHEAP N-95 MASKS BY USING A COTTON CANDY MACHINE.

    棉花糖機使用便宜的N-95面具。

  • THAT IS AWESOME.

    這是真棒。

  • BUT HOT TIP: DON'T EAT YOUR MASK AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GO ON THE

    但熱心提示:不要吃完麵膜就馬上去上廁所。

  • TILT-A-WHIRL, OR ELSE YOU KNOW THAT THING'S COMING RIGHT BACK

    傾斜的漩渦,否則你就知道事情會回來的

  • UP.

    上升。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, FOLLOWING A REPORT FROM THE FRENCH MILITARY

    夸父----在法國軍隊的報告之後。

  • ETHICS COMMITTEE, THE FRENCH ARMY GOT AN ETHICAL GO-AHEAD TO

    道德委員會,法國陸軍得到了道德上的許可,以使其能夠在法國陸軍中開展工作。

  • CREATE BIONIC SOLDIERS AND NOW HAVE PERMISSION TO DEVELOP

    創造仿生阿兵哥,現在已獲得開發許可

  • "AUGMENTED SOLDIERS," BUT HAS FORBIDDEN ANY MODIFICATION THAT

    "增強型阿兵哥",但禁止任何修改,即:

  • WOULD AFFECT A SOLDIER'S SENSE OF "HUMANITY."

    會影響阿兵哥的 "人情味"。

  • ALWAYS COMFORTING TO SEE "HUMANITY" IN QUOTES.

    看到 "人性 "總是令人欣慰的在報價中。

  • NOTHING TO "WORRY" ABOUT, WE'VE REALLY "THOUGHT" THIS THROUGH,

    沒什麼好 "擔心 "的,我們已經 "想 "過了。

  • SO FEEL FREE TO LET DOWN YOUR "DEFENSES."

    所以,隨時可以放下你的 "防線"。

  • BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

    但這還不是全部。

  • FURTHER EXAMPLES OF BANNED MODIFICATIONS INCLUDE COGNITIVE

    其他被禁修改的例子包括:認知性的

  • IMPLANTS THAT WOULD AFFECT THE EXERCISE OF A SOLDIER'S FREE

    會影響阿兵哥自由行使權利的植入物。

  • WILL.

    會的。

  • SO, EVERYBODY OUT THERE WORRIED THEY ARE GOING TO BUILD A

    所以,大家都在擔心他們要建一個... ...

  • TERMINATOR, CALM DOWN.

    終端機,冷靜下來。

  • IT'S GOING TO BE "LE TERMINATEUR!"

    這將是 "LE TERMINATEUR"!

  • NOW, WE HERE AT "MEANWHILE CONSOLIDATED PETROLEUM AND HUMOR

    現在,我們在這裡 "此時此刻綜合石油和幽默。

  • PRODUCTS" SOMETIMES COME ACROSS SO MANY PENIS-RELATED STORIES,

    產品 "有時會遇到這麼多的陰莖相關的故事。

  • WE HAVE TO CORRAL THEM IN OUR GROIN-FOCUSED "QUARANTINE-WHILE"

    我們必須在我們的專注於 "量子力學 "的 "量子 "中把它們收斂起來。

  • SUB SEGMENT: "PEEN-WHILE."

    "PEEN -WHILE"。

  • PEEN-WHILE, NEW FOOTAGE FROM CENTRAL CHINA SHOWS ANOTHER

    PEEN-WHILE,來自中國中部的新鏡頭展示了另一個世界。

  • REASON THEY HAVE BECOME OUR MOST FORMIDABLE ENEMY.

    他們已經成為我們最強大的敵人的原因。

  • >> WANG LIUTAI IS NO ORDINARY KUNG FU MASTER.

    >> 王六臺不是普通的功夫大師。

  • THE 65-YEAR-OLD PRACTICES A UNIUE AND EXCRUCIATING-LOOKING

    65歲的老人練就了一身獨特的絕活。

  • TYPE OF MARTIAL ARTS KNOWN AS "IRON CROTCH KUNG FU."

    被稱為 "鐵拳 "的國術類型。

  • ITS MOST FAMOUS TECHNIQUE INVOLVES SWINGING A

    它最著名的技術包括揮動一個。

  • STEEL-PLATE-CAPPED, TWO-METER- LONG LOG THROUGH THE AIR TO

    鋼板蓋,兩米長的木頭穿過空氣,到空中。

  • SMASH INTO A MAN'S CROTCH.

    撞到一個人的胸口。

  • >> Stephen: PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO'S EVER SAID, "I LOVE MARTIAL

    >> Stephen:非常適合那些曾經說過 "我愛婚姻 "的人。

  • ARTS, BUT THERE JUST AREN'T ENOUGH NUT SHOTS.

    藝術,但只是沒有足夠的堅果拍攝。

  • SOMETIMES I LEAVE A SPARRING LESSION, AND MY GROIN ISN'T

    有時候,我離開了一個sparring LESSION,而我的GROIN是不是

  • BLACK AND BLUE.

    黑色和藍色。

  • IT'S LIKE, WHAT AM I DOING THIS FOR?"

    這就像,什麼是我做這個?"

  • ALSO, THAT'S A LOT OF EFFORT JUST TO GET HIT IN THE NUTS.

    另外,這也是一個很大的努力 只是得到擊中的堅果。

  • BUDDY'S GOT A BEAM TRESTLE, CHAIN RIGGING, FORESTRY... I

    兄弟有一個樑架,鏈架,林業... ...I

  • KNOW FOR A FACT THAT, WHETHER YOU ASKED FOR IT OR NOT, YOU CAN

    你要知道,不管你是否要求,你都可以做到。

  • GET THE SAME EFFECT FROM A 10-YEAR-OLD WITH A NERF GUN.

    從一個10歲的孩子那裡得到同樣的效果,用一把呆子槍。

  • PROPONENTS OF IRON CROTCH KUNG FU INSIST THAT NOTHING

    鐵架子功夫的支持者堅持認為,沒有任何東西

  • BEATS A GOOD TREE TO THE GROIN.

    揍一棵好樹,打到肚子上。

  • AS ONE PUT IT, "WHEN YOU PRACTICE IRON CROTCH KUNG FU, AS

    有人說:"當你練習鐵十字拳時,你會發現,你是在練鐵十字拳。

  • LONG AS YOU PUSH YOURSELF, YOU WILL FEEL GREAT."

    只要你推自己,你就會感覺很好。"

  • YOU'VE GOT TO PUSH YOURSELF.

    你必須推動自己。

  • WHICH RAISES A QUESTION: WHO SUSPENDS A LOG FROM A CHAIN,

    這就提出了一個問題:誰會從鏈子上撬下一個木頭。

  • POSITIONS HIMSELF INSIDE THE LOG'S PROJECTED PARABOLA, AND

    擺在自己的位置在LOG的投射的比喻句,和。

  • THEN DECIDES TO PHONE IT IN?

    然後決定打電話給他?

  • STILL, THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME OF YEAR TO TAKE UP CROTCH-FU,

    不過,現在是一年中最適合的時間,採取的 CROTCH -FU。

  • BECAUSE YOU'LL FINALLY HAVE A USE FOR YOUR TREE BEYOND

    因為你終於可以為你的樹提供一個用途,除了

  • CHRISTMAS.

    聖誕節。

  • RIGHT IN THE JINGLE BELLS!

    正好在鈴鐺聲中!

  • PEEN-WHILE, A RUSSIAN AIRLINE OFFICIAL WAS FIRED FOR CREATING

    俄羅斯航空公司的一名官員因製造 "PEEN-WHILE "而被解僱。

  • A PENIS-SHAPED FLIGHT DETOUR.

    陰莖形狀的飛碟。

  • FUN FACT: "PENIS-SHAPED FLIGHT DETOUR" WAS THE NAME OF MY

    有趣的是:"陰莖形狀的飛行軌跡 "是我的名字。

  • JEFFERSON AIRPLANE COVER BAND.

    JEFFERSON AIRPLANE COVER BAND.

  • AND I WOULD HATE TO BE ON THAT PLANE:

    我也不想坐那架飛機。

  • "UHH, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.

    "呃,這是你的隊長說話。

  • NORMALLY WE'D BE STARTING OUR DESCENT, BUT I'M GONNA TAKE A

    通常情況下,我們會開始我們的下降, 但我要採取一個。

  • BEAT TO DRAW A GIANT SKY DONG.

    打畫出一個巨大的天空DONG。

  • IT WILL DELAY US SIGNIFICANTLY, BUT IT WILL BE HILARIOUS--

    它將會大大拖延我們的時間,但它將會是熱鬧的 --

  • I REPEAT, HILARIOUS."

    我重複一遍,搞笑。"

  • ANYWAY, HOW ANATOMICALLY ACCURATE CAN A PENIS DRAWN USING

    不過,使用以下方法繪製的陰莖有多準確呢?

  • A FLIGHT PATH BE-- WOW.

    一個飛行路線是 - 哇。

  • ALSO, GIVEN THE TEMPERATURE AT 30,000 FEET, VERY IMPRESSIVE.

    另外,鑑於三萬英尺的溫度,非常令人印象深刻。

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, IT'S OFFICIAL: HARRISON FORD WILL RETURN IN A

    QUARANTINE-WHOILE, IT'S OFFICIAL: HARRISON FORD WILL RURN IN A?

  • FIFTH "INDIANA JONES" MOVIE.

    第五部 "印第安納-瓊斯 "電影。

  • DESPITE BEING 78-YEARS-OLD, SO, IN THE SUMMER OF 2022, LOOK

    儘管已經78歲了,所以,在2022年的夏天,看...

  • FORWARD TO "INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF SOUP," FOLLOWED UP

    前進到 "印第安納-瓊斯和湯的殿堂",然後是:

  • BY "INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST ARK, BUT IT WAS ON TOP OF HIS

    由 "印第安納-瓊斯和失落的方舟,但它是在他的頂部。

  • HEAD THE WHOLE TIME."

    頭部的整個時間。"

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANDERSON COOPER AND ANDY COHEN.

    我們將很快與安德森・庫珀安迪・科恩回來。

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

    ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

*********** 斯蒂芬嘿,大家好。

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B2 中高級 中文 TheLateShow 喬恩 陰莖 阿兵哥 瓊斯 法國

隔離...現在是嘗試 "鐵襠功 "的最佳時機。 (Quarantinewhile... Now Is The Perfect Time To Try "Iron Crotch" Kung Fu)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 12 月 16 日
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