Now, of course, there's already a lot of competing information out there about the vaccines.

當然，現在已經有很多關於疫苗的競爭資訊了。

And people have a lot of questions.

而且人們有很多問題。

Namely, which vaccine is more effective, Andy, Everyone wants to know which is the better of the two vaccines we got to know.

也就是哪種疫苗更有效，安迪，大家都想知道兩種疫苗哪種更好，我們來了解一下。

We got to know which one safer.

我們得知道哪個更安全。

How much will each cost?

每個要多少錢？

Well, I decided to talk with representatives from both companies to clear up people's questions.

好吧，我決定和兩家公司的代表談談，以澄清人們的疑問。

Right now we have Dan Evans from Pfizer and Tom Cleghorn from Moderna.

現在我們有來自輝瑞的丹-埃文斯和來自摩德納的湯姆-克萊霍恩。

Thanks for being here, guys.

謝謝你來這裡，夥計們。

Thanks for having me, Conan.

謝謝你邀請我，柯南

Yes.

是的，我知道

And thank you also for having me to talk about fighters superior vaccine.

也謝謝你請我來談談戰鬥機優疫苗。

Okay, well, that's exactly what we want to talk about.

好吧，這正是我們要談的。

Your company originally said your vaccine was 90% effective, but after modern is 94.5% effective vaccine data came out.

你們公司原來說你們的疫苗有效率是90%，但現代是94.5%的有效疫苗數據出來後。

Suddenly you're vaccine changed to 95% effective.

突然間，你的疫苗變成了95%的有效性。

It did.

確實如此。

It just went up a 950.5%.

剛漲了950.5%。

Mawr, effective than modern is as a actually.

莫爾，比現代有效的是作為一個其實。

Actually, we have Madonna have a special announcement.

其實，我們有麥當娜有一個特別的公告。

Recent tests have shown that our vaccine is actually 96.8% effective.

最近的試驗表明，我們的疫苗實際上有96.8%的效果。

Wait, So now that fighters vaccine is 95% effective.

等等，所以現在戰鬥機疫苗的有效性是95%。

Modern nas is 96.8% effective.

現代納豆的有效率為96.8%。

Yeah, well, actually are even more recent tests are now showing that our vaccine is 98.2% effective.

是啊，其實是更多最近的測試，現在顯示我們的疫苗是98.2％的有效性。

So that's that's just Well, I just got a text.

所以，這是... ...這只是... ...嗯，我只是得到了一個文本。

Super recent test.

超最近的測試。

Moderna Vaccine, 99.999% effective.

莫德納疫苗，99.999%有效。

Fire emoji.

火的表情。

Thumbs up, emoji boom!

豎起大拇指，emoji boom!

Wow.

哇哦

I guess that's pretty much now the most effective covert 19 vaccine that one could make.

我想，這幾乎是現在最有效的隱蔽的19種疫苗，一個人可以做。

Well, I guess for Kobe 19.

好吧，我想對於科比19。

Yes, but But our vaccine is also backwards compatible against covitz four through 18.

是的，但我們的疫苗也是向後兼容 針對covitz4到18。

So factor that that is that is impressive.

所以因素那就是那就是令人印象深刻。

Our vaccine is actually effective against other diseases like trapezoid flu.

其實我們的疫苗對其他疾病也有效果，比如說梯形流感。

What?

什麼？

Yeah, what's the trapezoid flu?

是啊，什麼是梯形流感？

You'll find out.

你會發現。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Well, Conan are vaccine will give you the ability.

嗯，柯南是疫苗會給你能力。

Get this to dunk a basketball.

拿這個去灌籃。

Wow.

哇哦

Are vaccine gives you perfect night vision?

疫苗能讓你擁有完美的夜視力嗎？

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的。

Well deserved vaccine coming strawberry flavor?

當之無愧的疫苗來了草莓味？

No, but it does come with sides like sweet potato fries and a small caesar salad.

沒有，但它確實有配菜，比如紅薯條和小凱撒沙拉。

Are vaccine can improve your credit score.

疫苗是否可以提高你的信用分數。

Our vaccine can improve your relationship with your father.

我們的疫苗可以改善你和父親的關係。

Okay, guys, guys, come on.

好了，夥計們，夥計們，來吧。

This can't all be true.

這不可能都是真的。

It's all true.

這都是真的。

Coming.

來了

See, Madonna is an honest company who can actually guarantee their vaccine doesn't contain government tracking microchips.

你看，麥當娜是一家誠實的公司，他們能保證自己的疫苗不含政府追蹤的微芯片。

Whoa.

哇。

Ours doesn't either.

我們的也沒有。

Why do you bring it up, then?

那你為什麼要提出來呢？

Defensive much.

防守多。

You know you are such a dick.

你知道你是這樣一個傢伙。

I've hated you ever since we met in vaccine school.

自從我們在疫苗學校相遇後，我就一直恨你。

Your wife likes our vaccine better.

你老婆比較喜歡我們的疫苗

You, Tom.

你，湯姆

Me.

是我

Guys, guys, guys, it's getting very personal.

夥計們，夥計們，夥計們，它變得非常個人化。

Now, I had you on to talk about your vaccines.

現在，我讓你來談談你的疫苗。

If we're talking about vaccines, let's not forget that Russian vaccine was first to hit the market.

如果說到疫苗，別忘了俄羅斯的疫苗是最先上市的。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

Who are you and how did you get this Zoom link?

你是誰，怎麼會有這個Zoom鏈接？

I am respectable Russian doctor type human and zoom link is available on Dark web.

我是受人尊敬的俄羅斯醫生型人類，在暗網上有變焦鏈接。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Well, now that you're here, how does Russia's vaccine work?

好了，既然你來了，俄羅斯的疫苗怎麼用？

So it's simple.

所以很簡單。

Russian vaccine simply pushes coronavirus out.

俄羅斯疫苗只是把冠狀病毒推了出去。

A hotel window is part of government cover up.

酒店窗口是政府掩飾的一部分。

Also, Russian vaccine is 90%.

另外，俄羅斯疫苗佔90%。

What?

什麼？

Uh, that actually might work.

呃，這實際上可能會工作。

Thank you very much.

非常感謝你。

Tom Cleghorn and the other character, Dan Evans.

Tom Cleghorn和另一個角色Dan Evans。

I am also character.

我也是性格。