BECAUSE I'M NOT GREAT WITH BUYING ONLINE.

因為我不擅長網上購物。

THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY.

三週後的今天。

ARE YOU LOCKED IN?

你被鎖住了嗎？

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

你知道自己在做什麼嗎？

>> NO.

>> NO.

>> James: WHEN DO YOU NORMALLY DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING?

>> James:你通常什麼時候做聖誕購物？

>> Reggie: THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.

>> 雷吉：今年以來。

>> James: SO YOU SEE SOMETHING IN MARCH AND SAY THAT WILL BE

>> 詹姆斯。所以，你看到三月的一些事情，並說這將是

LOVELY FOR JAMES, I'LL NEVER GIVE IT TO HIM.

愛詹姆斯，我永遠不會把它給他。

I CAN IMAGINE THAT'S ONLY WHAT IS HAPPENING.

我可以想象這只是發生了什麼。

>> Reggie: IT'S JUST THE THOUGHT OF GIVING YOU THE GIFT

>> 雷吉：這只是給你的禮物的想法。

IS ENOUGH.

是足夠的。

>> James: THOUGHT AT COUNTS.

>> 詹姆斯。思維在數。

>> Reggie: YEAH.

>> 雷吉：YEAH。

>> James: IT'S TRUE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT, IT'S THE

>> 詹姆斯。這是真的，當人們說，這是最真實的。

THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

以為這樣就可以了。

AND WHEN THEY SAY I THOUGHT ABOUT BUYING YOU A GIFT BUT

當他們說我想給你買個禮物，但是... ...

DIDN'T, NO ONE RESPONDS AND SAYS, IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT

沒有，沒有人迴應，並說，這是思想，

COUNTS.

數：

YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW ME, I JUST SAY IT HOW IT IS.

你知道我，你知道我，我只是說它是如何。

YOUR HAIR LOOKS FANTASTIC.

你的頭髮看起來棒極了。

( LAUGHTER ) >> I'M A STRAIGHT SHOOTER.

（笑） >> 我是一個直截了當的射手。

THE MORE BURGUNDY YOU WEAR THE BETTER YOU LOOK.

穿得越多越好看。

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: YOU READY FOR

（笑） >> 詹姆斯：你準備好了

CHRISTMAS?

CHRISTMAS?

>> I'M DONE, MAN.

>> 我完成了，夥計。

I'M JEWISH.

我是猶太人。

HANUKKAH WILL SNEAK UP ON YOU OUT OF NOWHERE, SO YOU'VE GOT TO

哈努卡會突然襲擊你，所以你必須...

FERN YOUR SHOPPING BY THE END OF OCTOBER BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE

在十月底前完成你的購物，因為它可能是一個很好的選擇。

NOVEMBER 1 ONE YEAR, IT MIGHT BE APRIL 10th.

NOVEMBER 1一年，可能是4月10日。

>> James: YOU'VE BOUGHT ALL THE GIFTS ALREADY?

>> 詹姆斯。你已經買了所有的禮物了嗎？

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> James: WOW.

>> 詹姆斯。WOW。

SO YOU'RE COMPLETELY DONE.

所以你已經完全完成了。

>> I'M TONE.

>> 我是音。

>> James: I'VE GOT NOTHING.

>> 詹姆斯。我什麼都沒有。

I NORMALLY DO IT CHRISTMAS EVE.

我通常會在聖誕節前夕做這件事。

I GENUINELY DO.

我是真心的。

THERE'S NO ONE IN THE STORES, AND THERE IS NO OPTION.

商店裡沒有人，也沒有選擇。

YOU'VE GOT TO GET IT BECAUSE I'LL SEE SOMETHING AND I'LL GO,

你一定要拿到它，因為我會看到一些東西，然後我就走。

AH, I'LL REMEMBER THAT, BUT I MIGHT SEE SOMETHING ELSE.

啊，我會記住的，但我可能會看到別的東西。

I'LL NEVER REMEMBER THAT.

我永遠不會記得。

SO CHRISTMAS EVE, NO CHOICE, DONE, YOU DO IT, YOU WRAP IT IN

所以聖誕節前夕，沒有選擇，完成了，你做了，你把它包在。

TINFOIL AND THAT'S IT.

錫箔紙，就是這樣。

>> Reggie: I'M DOING THAT.

>> 我正在做。

I'M DOING THAT.

我正在做的。

>> James: IT'S 100% THE WAY.

>> 詹姆斯。這是100%的方式。

YOU DON'T NEED ANY TAPE.

你不需要任何錄音帶。

>> SCOTCH TAPE.

>> SCOTCH TAPE。

>> James: SCOTCH TAPE, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

>> 詹姆斯。擦鞋帶，我會給你的。

( LAUGHTER ) I'LL LET YOU OFF THAT ONE.

（笑）我將讓你離開那一個。

BUT THE THING WITH TINFOIL, YOU KNOW, DO YOU CALL IT TINFOIL.

但錫紙的問題是，你知道，你叫它錫紙嗎？

>> James: ALUMINUM BOIL FOYLE?

>> 詹姆斯。鋁箔？

TINFOIL.

錫箔。

>> James: REYNOLDS WRAP, WHAT IS IT?

>> 詹姆斯。REYNOLDS WRAP，這是什麼？

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

你知道我在說什麼。

ALUMINUM.

鋁：

>> ALUMINUM.

>> 鋁合金。

>> James: GET THE GIFT, SCRUNCH IT UP, DONE.

>> 詹姆斯。得到的禮物，SCRUNCH起來，完成。

>> THAT'S SO SMART.

>> 這真是太聰明瞭。

>> James: AND KIND OF LOOKS CHRISTMASY.

>> 詹姆斯。和那種看起來很有聖誕氣息。

>> Reggie: YEP.

>> 雷吉：是的。

>> James: LOOKS LIKES LEFTOVERS.

>> 詹姆斯。看起來像左輪。

THAT'S HOW THEY WRAP THINGS UP AT A RESTAURANT.

這就是他們如何包裝東西了餐廳。

>> James: IF YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH YOU KNOW I'VE NEVER EVER

>> 詹姆斯：如果你足夠了解我，你就會知道我從來沒有過。

HAD LEFTOVERS.

有左腳。

IF I WALK INTO A ROOM WITH THAT, NO ONE'S EVER LOOKED AT ME AND

如果我帶著這個走進房間，沒有人看過我，也沒有人看過我。

SAID, HE MUST HAVE LEFT SOME FOOD.

說，他一定是留下了一些食物。

( LAUGHTER ) I REMEMBER SO VIVIDLY, I WAS,

（笑）並記住如此生動，而你，

LIKE, 19, I WAS WALKING DOWN A HOTEL CORRIDOR, AND SOMEONE HAD

19歲的時候，我走在酒店的走廊上，然後有人拿著槍在我面前晃悠

PUT THEIR TRAY OUTSIDE THE ROOM AND IT WAS, LIKE, HALF A BURGER

把他們的托盤放在房間外面，它就像一個漢堡的一半。

AND FRIES AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'D EVER SEEN ANYONE LEAVE

還有薯條，這是我第一次看到有人離開。

FOOD.

食物：

( LAUGHTER ) I TINTED EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A

（笑）我凃甚至知道這是一個。

THING THEY DID!

他們做的事情！

I WAS, LIKE, WOW!

我是，喜歡，哇！

THEY WERE FULL AND DIDN'T EAT UNTIL THEY COULDN'T BREATHE!

他們吃飽了，直到不能呼吸才吃！

WHICH IS FRANKLY MY ENTIRE EXPERIENCE GROWING UP.

坦白說，這是我成長的全部經歷。

>> I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS IN MY HEART --

>> 我已經在心裡知道了這個問題的答案 --

>> James: YES, I DID.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，我做到了。

ME, TOO.

我也是

>> James: YES, I DID.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，我做到了。

EVERY TIME.

每一次。

IT WILL BE THE FIRST THING TOY ONCE THE VACCINE IS OUT.

這將是第一件玩具一旦疫苗出來。

>> James: 100%.

>> 詹姆斯：100%。

EVEN FOUND A COUPLE OF BREAD ROLLS AT THE OTHER END OF THE

甚至還發現了一雙面包卷，在另一端。

CORRIDOR.

CORRIDOR：

( LAUGHTER ) AND THEN I'M, LIKE, WHY AM I

（笑）然後我，喜歡，為什麼我

ORDERING ROOM SERVICE?

訂購客房服務？

I COULD TRAVEL AROUND THE CORRIDORS, SUSHI, SALMON, TWO

我可以在走廊上旅行，SUSHI，鮭魚，兩個。

QUARTERS OF A CASE DeIA, AND TOOK THE BEST BACK FOR MY WIFE.

四分之一的CASE DeIA，並採取了最好的回來為我的妻子。

>> WRAPPED UP IN FOIL, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

>> 包在箔紙裡，聖誕快樂。

>> James: THAT'S IT.

>> 詹姆斯。就是這樣。

LET'S LOOK AT SOME NEWS.

讓我們來看看一些新聞。

I KNOW YOU'RE, LIKE, WHAT HAPPENED IN THE NEWS TODAY.

我知道你是，就像，今天發生在新聞中的事情。

EVERY DAY, WE START WITH THE NEWS LIKE THIS ISN'T NEWS YOU

每天，我們都從新聞開始，就像這不是你的新聞一樣

ALREADY KNOW.

已經知道了。

PRESIDENT TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM IS STILL MAKING A LAST DITCH EFFORT

特朗普總統的律師團仍在做最後的努力。

GIULIANI WAS MAKING HIS EFFORT TO GET FRAUD INVESTIGATED.

GIULIANI正在努力讓欺詐行為受到調查。

HE HAS BEEN IN PHILADELPHIA, ARIZONA AND NOW MICHIGAN.

他曾在費城，亞利桑那州，現在又在密歇根州。

IT'S LIKE A WHERE'S WALDO EXCEPT YOU LITERALLY HAVE NO INTEREST

這就像WALDO在哪裡一樣，除了你真的沒有興趣之外

IN FINDING HIM.

在找到他。

LAST NIGHT'S TELEVISED HEARING, GIULIANI INTRODUCED A STAR

昨晚的電視聽證會上，吉利安尼介紹了一顆明星

WITNESS WHO ENDED UP GOING VIRAL BECAUSE OF HER...

女證人因為她的原因，最終成為病毒性的... ...

ATTITUDE.

ATTITUDE：

TAKE A LOOK AT HOW SHE STRESSED HER CREDIBILITY.

看看她是如何強調自己的信譽的。

>> NOY WHAT I SAW AND I SIGNED SOMETHING SAYING IF I'M I DON'T

>> 我看到的是什麼，我簽了一些東西，說如果我，我不。

CAN GO TO PRISON.

可以去監獄。

DID YOU?

你有嗎？

>> NO >> JAMES: GOTTA SAY, I THINK

>> 沒有 >> 我想，我得說。

SHE'D CRUSH IT IN PRISON.

她會在監獄裡粉碎它。

TO BE FAIR, SHE DOES LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO HAS SPENT

平心而論，她確實看起來像那種花了很多錢的人。

TIME IN DISNEYLAND JAIL.

在迪斯尼樂園監獄的時間。

( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS THEIR "STAR WITNESS?"

這是他們的 "明星證人"？

THAT LOOKED LIKE A SCENE FROM "LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL KARENS

這看起來像 "法律與秩序：特殊的卡倫斯 "的場景

UNIT."

組織、部門。"

THAT WASN'T ALL.

這還不是全部。

AT ANOTHER POINT, THIS SO-CALLED "STAR WITNESS" ACCUSED A

在另一個點上，這個所謂的 "明星證人 "指責了一個：

REPUBLICAN STATE SENATOR OF TAMPERING WITH ELECTION RESULTS.

篡改選舉結果的共和黨州參議員。

>> SO IS THAT -- JOHN'S QUESTION AND THEN.

>> 那就是 -- 約翰的問題，然後：

I THOUGHT THAT WAS HIS ANSWER.

我以為這就是他的答案。

>> MY QUESTION IS WE'RE NOT SEEING THE POLL BOOK OFF BY

>> 我的問題是，我們沒有看到民意調查書關閉由

30,000 VOTES.

30,000票。

>> WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO IT, TAKE IT AND DO SOMETHING CRAZY TO IT?

>> 你們做了什麼，把它和做一些瘋狂的事情嗎？

( LAUGHTER ) >> JAMES: YOU KNOW SHE DROPPED

（笑） >> 詹姆斯：你知道她放棄了。

THAT LINE AND THEN IN HER HEAD SHE WAS LIKE "CHECK AND MATE."

那條線，然後在她的腦海裡，她就像 "檢查和交配"。

( LAUGHTER ) I'M GOING TO BET THIS IS THE

我敢打賭，這是我的第一次。

ONLY VIDEO OF HER WHERE SHE ISN'T WALKING DOWN THE STREET

她唯一沒有在大街上走動的視頻

CRYING, HOLDING HER HEELS IN HER HAND YELLING, I WANT TO GO TO A

哭著，握著她的腳後跟在她的手上大喊，我想去一個

WAFFLE HOUSE!

WAFFLE HOUSE！

( LAUGHTER ) YOU SHUT UP!

（笑）你閉嘴！

I'M GOING TO CALL AN UBER.

我要去打電話給UBER。

IT'S MY SHOE.

這是我的鞋。

( LAUGHTER ) IT GOT SO BAD THAT AT ONE POINT

它變得如此糟糕，在一個點上

RUDY GIULIANI REACHED OVER AND TRIED TO SHUSH HER. TAKE A LOOK.

RUDY GIULIANI REACHED OVER AND TRIED TO SHUSH HER。看一看。

>> TAKE A LOOK AND SEE HOW MANY REGISTERED VOTERS ARE ON THERE.

>> 看一看，看看有多少登記的選民在那裡。

DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT.

你知道這個問題的答案嗎？

>> I'M TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.

>> 我正試圖得到它的底部。

>> THERE ARE ZERO.

>> 有零。

ZERO.

零。

THERE'S ZERO.

沒有。

>> MY QUESTION IS, IF THE -- THAT'S HOW MANY, WAIT -- WHAT

>> 我的問題是，如果... ... 那是多少，等等... ...

ABOUT THE TURNOUT RATE?

關於回報率？

120 PERCENT?

120個百分點？

>> James: GOOD MOVE, RUDY, SHE SEEMS THE KIND OF PERSON WHO

>> 詹姆斯。好動作，魯迪，她似乎是那種人誰。

HE'S A PATIENT MAN, BUT HE WILL NOT BE OUT-CRAZIED.

他是個有耐心的人，但他不會瘋掉。

HER ATTITUDE WAS SO OVER-THE-TOP, AT ONE POINT THE

她的態度太過火了，一度讓人覺得她是個很好的人。

COMMITTEE TRIED TO CALM HER DOWN BY SAYING, JUST BE CALM.

委員會試圖讓她冷靜下來，說："冷靜點。

WHY DON'T YOU SHARE SOME OF YOUR THOUGHTS

你為什麼不分享你的一些想法呢？

ABOUT BEING FORCED TO WEAR MASKS?"

被迫戴上面具？"

( LAUGHTER ) AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

（笑），你們看到了嗎？

IN ORDER TO HELP DEMONSTRATE THE SAFETY OF THE COVID 19 VACCINE.

為了幫助證明COVID 19疫苗的安全性：

FORMER PRESIDENTS CLINTON, BUSH AND OBAMA HAVE SAID THAT THEY

前任總統克林頓、布什和奧巴馬都曾表示，他們

ARE WILLING TO TAKE THE VACCINE LIVE ON TELEVISION.

願意採取的疫苗直播在電視上。

I DON'T KNOW, IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THEY JUST WANT TO GET THE

我不知道，在我聽來，他們好像只是想讓我去找他們的朋友。

FIRST VACCINES.

第一批疫苗：

>> I THOUGHT THAT.

>> 我也這麼想。

>> James: I'LL DO IT!

>> 詹姆斯。我會做到這一點！

I'LL DO IT ON TV TO SHOW IT'S SAFE.

我會在電視上做，以顯示它的安全。

CAN MY FAMILY ALSO GET ONE?

我的家人也能得到一個嗎？

( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS TRUE, CLINTON, BUSH,

這是真的，克林頓，布什。

OBAMA AND ME, THE BIG FOUR.

奧巴馬和我，四巨頭。

( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW US.

（笑）你知道我們。

WE'RE NEVER NOT TOGETHER.

我們永遠不會不在一起。

WE'RE IN A GROUP CALL THE WHAT'S THAT'S.

我們在一個叫 "那是什麼 "的小組裡。

I LIKE THIS IDEA OF THEM DOING IT ON TV.

我喜歡他們在電視上做的這個想法。

THEY SHOULD HAVE ALL OF THEM TAKE THE VACCINE DURING NEW

他們應該讓所有的人在新的期間服用疫苗。

YEAR'S EVE ROCKIN' EVE.

年的前夕搖滾的前夕。

FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO OW!

五、四、三、二、三！

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

新年快樂

( LAUGHTER ) WITH CHRISTMAS COMING UP, WE

（笑） 隨著聖誕節的到來，我們

WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A WOMAN IN AUSTRALIA WAS

想告訴你這一點，一個女人在澳洲是。

SURPRISED TO FIND AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR HAD MADE ITSELF AT HOME

驚奇地發現一個意料之外的訪客竟然在家裡自成一派。

IN HER FAKE CHRISTMAS TREE: THIS ADORABLE KOALA.

在她的假聖誕樹：這個可愛的KOALA。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

HONESTLY, I JUST ASSUMED THAT'S WHAT THEY DO IN AUSTRALIA.

老實說，我只是假設這就是他們在澳洲做的事。

THE ONLY WAY THIS COULD BE MORE OF A CLICHEÉ IS IF THE KOALA WAS

唯一的辦法是，如果KOALA是一個更多的CLICHEÉ是

WEARING A HAT WITH CORKS ON IT DRINKING A FOSTERS, AND

戴著一頂帽子，上面戴著雞冠，喝著FOSTERS，然後。

WRESTLING A MASSIVE CROCODILE WHILE GRILLING SOME SHRIMP ON

摔跤大鱷魚的同時，還可以在上面烤一些蝦米。

THE BARBIE.

BARBIE：

THE KOALA MADE ITSELF AT HOME ON HER FAKE CHRISTMAS TREE, WHICH

KOALA在她的假聖誕樹上做了自己的家，其中

IS WAY BETTER THAN LAST YEAR WHEN THIS HAPPENED.

是比去年更好，當這個發生。

( LAUGHTER ) AND, FINALLY, SOME BIG NEWS OUT

最後，一些重大新聞出來了

OF SOUTHEAST ASIA.

東南亞地區的發展：

SINGAPORE IS NOW THE FIRST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD TO APPROVE

新加坡是世界上第一個準許的國家。

THE SALE OF LAB-CREATED MEAT.

銷售實驗室製造的肉類。

THIS IS A HUGE STEP.

這是一個很大的步驟。

SCIENTISTS SAY AN ACHIEVEMENT LIKE THIS IS VERY RARE... TO

科學家說，像這樣的成就是非常罕見的......到

MEDIUM-RARE.

中罕見的。

( LAUGHTER ) SO NOW YOU CAN GET YOUR PROTEIN

所以，現在你可以得到你的蛋白質。

STRAIGHT FROM THE MEAT LAB, WHICH IS ALSO WHAT I CALL THE

直接從肉類實驗室，這也是我所謂的。

CHILDHOOD HOME OF THE HEMSWORTHS.

HEMSWORTHS的童年之家。

( LAUGHTER ) MEAT LAB.

（笑）肉類實驗室：

I'D LIKE TO START A CLUB NIGHT WITH YOU GUILLERMO CALLED THE

我想和你一起開個俱樂部之夜，叫 "吉勒莫"。

MEAT LAB.

MEAT LAB.

>> WHAT CITY?

>> 什麼城市？

>> James: I'D LIKE TO DO IT IN DOWNTOWN L.A., GUILLERMO AND

>> 詹姆斯。我想在洛杉磯市中心，吉勒莫和。

JAMES' MEAT LAB, ONLY RULE, NO ONE WEARS A TOP.

JAMES'MEAT LAB，唯一的規則，沒有人穿上衣。

>> WE SHOULD DO IT WHEN QUARANTINE'S --

>> 我們應該在夸父的... ...

>> James: FOR SURE.

>> 詹姆斯。當然。

YEAH.

是的。

>> James: I THINK PEOPLE WILL BE DOWN TO THE MEAT LAB.

>> 詹姆斯。我想人們會去肉製品加工廠。

REALLY DARK.

真正的黑暗。

NEVER GETS WEIRD.

永遠不會得到怪異。

>> IT'S REALLY DARK AND NEVER GETS WEIRD?

>> 它真的是黑暗的，永遠不會變得怪異？

>> James: YEAH.

>> 詹姆斯。YEAH.

IMPOSSIBLE.

不可能的。

>> James: IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU AFTER LAST NIGHT'S REVELATIONS.

>> 詹姆斯。對你來說是不可能的，因為《昨夜的啟示》。

>> I'M DISAPPOINTED, JAMES.

>> 我很失望，詹姆斯。

>> James: DID YOU GET ANY MESSAGE FROM YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S

>> 詹姆斯。你從你的女朋友的朋友那裡得到任何消息嗎？

PARENTS?

父母？

>> THEY LOVED IT.

>> 他們喜歡它。

>> James: DID THEY, FOR REAL?

>> 詹姆斯。他們，真的嗎？

YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

是的，絕對的。

>> James: DID YOU MANAGE TO HAVE AN OPEN AND HONEST

>> 詹姆斯。你有沒有設法有一個開放和誠實的。

CONVERSATION ABOUT THE SWINGING?

關於 "搖擺 "的對話？

( LAUGHTER ) >> I WISH I COULD HAVE, BUT

（笑） >> 我希望我可以有，但。

THERE WASN'T ENOUGH TIME.

沒有足夠的時間。

>> James: NO.

>> 詹姆斯。沒有。

YOU HAD TO GET TO A SWINGER'S CLUB.

你必須去一個搖擺的俱樂部。

( LAUGHTER ) I THINK IT'S A GREAT

我想這是一個偉大的。

ADVANCEMENT, I DO.

進步，我做。

LAB-GROWN MEAT, THIS IS THE FUTURE.

實驗室養肉，這是未來。

BUT NOT EVERYONE THINKS LAB-CREATED MEAT IS A GOOD IDEA.

但並不是所有人都認為實驗室製造的肉是個好主意。

THIS WOMAN, FOR EXAMPLE, IS PRETTY SUSPICIOUS.

例如，這個女人，是非常可疑的。

>> WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO, TAKE IT AND DO SOMETHING CRAZY TO IT?

>> 你們做了什麼，把它和做一些瘋狂的事情嗎？