Please, sir, I know I'll talk to you later.

拜託，先生，我知道我以後會跟你說的。

That was loved me.

那是愛我的。

Uh, thanks so much for being here.

呃，非常感謝你來這裡。

You look fantastic.

你看起來棒極了

I wanna ask you something, because I know that you take really good care of yourself.

我想問你點事，因為我知道你很會照顧自己。

Obviously, you take great care yourself.

很明顯，你自己也很小心。

Your your diet.

你的你的飲食。

You're a vegan.

你是個素食主義者

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

Vegan means you're There's no no animal product, no animal product.

素食意味著你沒有沒有動物產品，沒有動物產品。

So I'm just curious Thanksgiving coming up.

所以我只是好奇感恩節快到了。

You probably wanna have a big Thanksgiving meal like everyone else.

你可能想和其他人一樣吃一頓感恩節大餐。

What are you gonna eat?

你要吃什麼？

Well, we actually did an episode that airs this week.

好吧，我們其實做了一集，這周播出。

Not tonight.

今晚不行

Yeah, well, yeah, it's tonight s.

是啊，是啊，這是今晚的。

So it's after you've already missed it.

所以是在你已經錯過之後。

You missed it.

你錯過了。

Saps, I think.

我想是Saps

But it's, uh, jive Turkey.

但它是，呃，jive土耳其。

I think it's called the episode, and we did a whole thing on Thanksgiving.

我想這叫插曲，我們在感恩節做了一個完整的事情。

And so we have, like, a huge tofurkey and an inter key.

所以，我們有一樣，一個巨大的火雞和一個跨鍵。

Okay, let's talk with tofurkey.

好吧，讓我們來談談火雞。

Is it zits?

是痘痘嗎？

Tofu?

豆腐？

Yeah, and it zit shaped like a turkey.

是啊，它的形狀像火雞。

There's two.

有兩個。

There's three different cool kinds of tofurky.

有三種不同的酷似火雞的種類。

Didn't get.

沒有得到。

One is like a big smoked tofu tofu, but in the shape of a turkey, Like like a stamp of a turkey like a sticker of a turkey, right?

一個是像大薰豆腐的豆腐，但是是火雞的形狀，像像火雞的印章像火雞的貼紙，對吧？

I mean, like, Yeah, but my question is, Why do they have to have it in the shape of a turkey if it's not a turkey?

我的意思是，像，是的，但我的問題是，為什麼他們有 在火雞的形狀，如果它不是一個火雞？

One's a little that the other one is a little bit scary because it looks like a turkey.

一個是有點，另一個是有點嚇人，因為它看起來像一隻火雞。

It's like a little guy going Z.

這就像一個小傢伙要Z。

It's a little sad.

這是一個有點悲傷。

It looks like a turkey trying to get away, so I don't like that.

它看起來像一隻火雞想逃跑，所以我不喜歡這樣。

One is much right, right?

一個是多對吧？

But it could be in the shape of once You've got the tofu stuff, it could be in the shape of Ted Koppel's head.

但它可能是在形狀 一旦你已經得到了豆腐的東西， 它可能是在形狀 泰德Koppel的頭。

It doesn't matter exactly right.

這並不重要完全正確。

It could be anything.

它可能是任何東西。

That's why I like the one that just it looks like a sticker over turkey because it's just friendly and funny.

這就是為什麼我喜歡那個看起來就像火雞上的貼紙，因為它只是友好和有趣。

And it's like it's nice or could be a smiley face, whatever it could be.

而且好像很好，也可能是個笑臉，不管它能是什麼。

Anything, Uh, now, obviously, I know that you've been over the years and being actually become very comfortable with your body.

任何事情，呃，現在，很明顯， 我知道你已經在這些年 和被實際 變得非常舒適與你的身體。

I'm not comfortable with my body.

我對自己的身體不滿意。

I don't.

我不知道

In fact, no one is comfortable with my body.

事實上，沒有人對我的身體感到舒服。

But you're so thank you.

但你是如此的感謝你。

But you're very comfortable with your body so comfortable, in fact, that I read that you you garden in the nude.

但你對自己的身體很滿意... ...事實上，我讀到你... ...你是裸體花園。

Is that true?

是真的嗎？

Well, sometimes I like to call it a little Alex.

嗯，有時候我喜歡叫它小亞歷克斯。

Do a little naked gardening naked garden, naked gardening.

做一下裸體園藝的裸體花園，裸體園藝。

It's a little thing we say in my home, right?

這是我們家裡的小事，對吧？

Right, I tell the dogs.

對，我告訴狗。

Okay, it's time for decade gardening.

好了，是時候進行十年園藝了。

So you're out in your garden and there's you're not wearing anything, are you?

所以你在花園裡什麼都沒穿，是嗎？

Because it makes it easier to get around and then it's No, it doesn't.

因為這樣可以方便出行，然後就是不，沒有。

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

It makes it easier to get around?

它使交通更方便？

That's just not true.

這不是真的。

Encumbered by pants, I No.

被褲子束縛著，我不。

E on the trampoline.

E在蹦床上。

It's fun to jump on the trampoline naked.

在蹦床上光著身子跳很好玩。

It's fun to jump in the pool naked E c.

光著身子跳進游泳池是很有趣的E c.

Those things, But I know it's a guy, and I wanna be around with shears naked, you know, get rid of E O.

那些東西，但我知道那是個男人，我想光著身子拿著剪子，你知道，擺脫E-O。

No one wants that.

沒有人想這樣。

That's dangerous shears.

那是危險的剪子。

I'm more like my hands delicately pruning the pretty well.

我更喜歡我的手精巧地修剪漂亮的井。

That's nice.

這很好。

That's like a nice That's a nice image.

這就像一個很好的 這是一個很好的影像。

You're But what about neighbors?

你是 但是鄰居呢？

Your neighbors must have like a gong that they ring when you're out.

你的鄰居一定有像鑼一樣的東西，當你出去的時候，他們會敲響。

At least he's out new gardening.

至少他出了新的園藝。

Bon bon.

Bon bon bon bon。

Bon people come running from miles around eyes that happened.

盂蘭盆會的人從周圍幾英里的地方跑來，發生的眼睛。

Not that I'm aware of.

據我所知，沒有。

Not that you're aware of.

你不知道

Sure.

當然可以

If they've got duck blinds and everything, they're excited.

如果他們有鴨子百葉窗和一切，他們會很興奮。

So what about sunburn?

那麼，晒傷怎麼辦？

You have to worry about sunburn.

你要擔心晒傷。

I'm not big.

我不大。

I don't have a big concern about sun burns.

我對晒傷沒有太大的擔心。

You probably get a nice tan.

你可能會得到一個很好的膚色。

I think A good, healthy 20 minutes in the sun.

我想在陽光下晒20分鐘，很好，很健康。

A day is good.

一天就好。

Vitamin D, you know, like without some block.

維生素D，你知道，像沒有一些塊。

You know, it's nice.

你知道，這很好。

I burst into flames after five minutes.

五分鐘後，我爆出了火星。

Yeah, I literally dio I'm just like one of those stunt guys covered in flames.

是啊，我從字面上看，我只是像那些特技演員之一 覆蓋在火焰。

I can't go to the beach, You know, I wear like a bear suit when I go.

我不能去海邊，你知道的，我去的時候穿的像個熊裝。

Uh oh.

嗯，哦。

Now I understand you work very hard.

現在我明白了，你工作很辛苦。

You make movies.

你拍電影。

You didn't watch a lot of prime time television.

你沒有看很多黃金時段的電視。

And the reason that you got interested in television because you got TiVo.

而你之所以對電視感興趣，是因為你有TiVo。

And I don't know how many people here have TiVo, but TiVo makes a huge difference.

而且我不知道這裡有多少人有TiVo，但TiVo讓人感覺很不一樣。

You can So the rest of you don't know what we're gonna talk about now.

你可以... ...所以你們其他人不知道我們現在要談什麼。

What are they talking about?

他們在說什麼？

Tivo is a Martian.

Tivo是火星人。

Uh, well meaning Martian, No.

呃，好心的火星人，不。

TiVo is this device that helps look for television shows that you like, and it saves them.

TiVo就是這個設備，它可以幫助尋找你喜歡的電視節目，並將其保存下來。

It's got a little computer brain so that then you can watch TV at your convenience.

它有一個小小的電腦大腦，這樣的話，你就可以在方便的時候看電視了。

I don't appreciate it when they make that judgment call for May.

我不欣賞他們為5月做出這樣的判斷。

Like I like to pick my Maybe I'm a bit controlling, but I like to pick, you know, you get to pick your own shows and they take it.

我喜歡選擇我的 也許我有點控制慾，但我喜歡選擇， 你知道，你可以選擇你自己的節目，他們把它。

Then all of a sudden they tape shows for you.

然後突然間，他們為你錄下了節目。

And you're like, Why did you tape that?

你就會說，你為什麼要把它錄下來？

You're wasting my tape time on your choice.

你在你的選擇上浪費了我的錄音帶時間。

Chievo has this brain, and it's looking at what you watch and then trying to figure out Oh, if you like this, you'll probably like that and it goes and records it for you.

Chievo有這樣的大腦，它看著你看的東西，然後試圖找出哦，如果你喜歡這個，你可能會喜歡那個，它就會為你記錄下來。

When I got my TiVo for the first time, I literally I swear to God I turned on the TV with TiVo attached and it was on HBO.

當我第一次拿到我的TiVo時，我真的對天發誓，我打開連接TiVo的電視，它正在播放HBO。

It was at night, and G string divas was on.

那是在晚上，G弦女歌手正在上演。

Okay, so I watch for 40 minutes just to see what's happened.

好吧，所以我看了40分鐘，只是為了看看發生了什麼。

You know what, but then I literally I turned the channel not long after that, because it was an episode I had seen and but my girlfriend at the time Later, the next time she turned on the TV TV and she hadn't used it before.

你知道嗎，但後來我真的我轉檯沒多久，因為那是我看過的一集，但我當時的女朋友 後來，下一次她打開電視電視，她沒有用過。

TiVo said, Well, I know you like porn.

TiVo說，嗯，我知道你喜歡色情片。

So here's all this porn.

所以這些色情片都在這裡。

And she suddenly said, Why doesn't think that you like pouring?

她突然說，怎麼覺得你不喜歡倒騰呢？

Yeah, it's pretty good.

是啊，這是相當不錯的。

And I've never seen porn since.

從此我再也沒有看過色情片。

I don't really know what it is now on the show mismatch.

我真的不知道現在的節目錯位是什麼。

What?

什麼？

You're what you're doing now.

你是你現在在做什麼。

You play someone who matches people up, tries to get couples into romantic relationship.

你扮演的人誰匹配的人，試圖讓情侶進入浪漫的關係。

Is that something you're any good at in real life?

這是你在現實生活中擅長的事情嗎？

No, I try.

不，我儘量。

I mean, you know, every time somebody tells me they're single and looking for somebody, I immediately go.

我的意思是，你知道，每次有人告訴我 他們是單身，尋找別人，我立即去。

Okay?

好嗎？

I'm gonna help.

我會幫你的

And then I just sort of my mind goes blank.

然後，我只是有點我的腦海裡一片空白。

But now I feel they're talking.

但現在我覺得他們在說話。

They're probably hoping that it will be.

他們可能希望會是這樣。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

When people are telling you I'm single and I kind of, you know, they probably want you to go.

當人們告訴你我是單身，我有點，你知道，他們可能希望你去。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

You know, let's go on a carriage ride around the park.

你知道嗎，我們去坐馬車逛公園吧。

But but it's hard for you to hook someone up on the carriage rides.

但是，但你很難在坐馬車的時候勾搭到人。

What's up with that?

那是怎麼回事？

What are you talking about?

你在說什麼？

I don't think that's nice.

我不認為這是很好的。

What horses?

什麼馬？

Oh, right.

哦，對了。

I forgot.

我忘了

Oh, no.

哦，不

I meant without a tofurkey dragging it tofurkey would be in front.

我的意思是如果沒有火雞拖著它，火雞就會在前面。

I didn't think carriage, right?

我不認為是馬車吧？

I know there's a bad, bad boo.

我知道有一個壞壞的噓。

What's wrong with them?

他們怎麼了？

Who suggested that that guy in the back?

是誰提議讓後面那個傢伙來的？

But yes, it's so much fun.

但是，是的，它是如此的有趣。

And now I feel like they should really I'm very credible.

現在我覺得他們應該真的我很可信。

Now that I'm playing a matchmaker, People think you know how to do it.

現在，我在扮演一個媒人，人們認為你知道如何做。

Well, I think that they should, Right.

我認為他們應該這樣做，對嗎？

Well, they think you should Yeah.

嗯，他們認為你應該 是啊。

Next time I'm gonna use that, like, you know, sort of.

下次我會用這個，就像，你知道的，那種。

I think I should have a better sense of matching now, working on it, cause I wanna identify with my character, just like okay, you're in Aires.

我想我現在應該有更好的匹配感，正在努力，因為我想認同我的角色，就像好吧，你在艾利斯。

Maybe you could be good with the Leo or that kind of thing.

也許你可以和獅子座的人在一起，或者是這種事情。

I guess.

我想也是

I'm saying my brain goes blank, like, how do you actually do it?

我說我的大腦一片空白，就像，你到底怎麼做？

Because then if you set people, if they're gonna be like, why did you put me with that person?

因為如果你設置的人，如果他們會像， 為什麼你把我和那個人？

I've never done it.

我從來沒有做過。

I've never Even when I think people are right for each other.

我從來沒有即使在我認為人與人之間是對的時候。

I don't want to do it cause I don't want to be responsible for the pain and torment later on.

我不想做，因為我不想為以後的痛苦和折磨負責。

Do you know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

What if I set somebody up and they end up getting married, and then, you know, it doesn't work out?

如果我撮合了某個人，他們最終結婚了，然後，你知道，它不工作了，怎麼辦？

I just I don't want any part of that that caused enough damage through the TV show.

我只是我不希望任何一部分，通過電視劇造成足夠的傷害。

I don't need to spread the hate other ways.

我不需要用其他方式傳播仇恨。

Mismatch airs Friday nights at nine on NBC.

Mismatch》週五晚九點在NBC播出。

Great to see you again.

很高興再次見到你。

You Best of luck to you, Alicia Silverstone.

祝你好運，艾麗西婭-西爾弗斯通。

Everybody will be right back.

每個人都會馬上回來。

Andrew W.

Andrew W.

K.

K.