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  • So that's Johnny Depp, of course.

    這當然是強尼•戴普,

  • And that's Johnny Depp's shoulder.

    這是他的肩膀。

  • And that's Johnny Depp's famous shoulder tattoo.

    這是他肩上著名的紋身。

  • Some of you might know that, in 1990,

    你們有些人可能知道,戴普在1990年,

  • Depp got engaged to Winona Ryder,

    和薇諾娜•瑞德曾訂婚,

  • and he had tattooed on his right shoulder

    並在他的右肩上刺上

  • "Winona forever."

    「永遠的薇諾娜」。

  • And then three years later --

    3年後--

  • which in fairness, kind of is forever by Hollywood standards --

    從好萊塢的標準來說應該算得上是「 永遠 」--

  • they broke up,

    他們分手了,

  • and Johnny went and got a little bit of repair work done.

    然後强尼改了一下他的紋身 。

  • And now his shoulder says, "Wino forever."

    現在他肩上說的是 「 永遠的酒鬼 」。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So like Johnny Depp,

    像强尼一樣,

  • and like 25 percent of Americans

    也像25%的

  • between the ages of 16 and 50,

    年齡在16到50歲間的美國人一樣,

  • I have a tattoo.

    我也是有紋身的。

  • I first started thinking about getting it in my mid-20s,

    我第一次想去弄一個紋身是在我25歲左右,

  • but I deliberately waited a really long time.

    我是已經刻意等了很久的。

  • Because we all know people

    要知道很多人在17歲的時候

  • who have gotten tattoos when they were 17

    就想弄一個了,

  • or 19 or 23

    或者19歲, 23歲,

  • and regretted it by the time they were 30.

    並且對此都在自己30歲前就後悔。

  • That didn't happen to me.

    但是這卻沒有發生在我身上 。

  • I got my tattoo when I was 29,

    我是在29時繡上了紋身,

  • and I regretted it instantly.

    然後立刻就後悔了 。

  • And by "regretted it,"

    我說的後悔是

  • I mean that I stepped outside of the tattoo place --

    我腳跟剛剛離開紋身店--

  • this is just a couple miles from here

    就發生在離這裡幾英哩外的

  • down on the Lower East Side --

    下東城區--

  • and I had a massive emotional meltdown in broad daylight

    大白天就歇斯底理、徹底崩潰了,

  • on the corner of East Broadway and Canal Street.

    就在東百老匯和運河街相交的轉角 。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Which is a great place to do it because nobody cares.

    那真是個做這事的好地方,因為沒人理你 。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And then I went home that night, and I had an even larger emotional meltdown,

    那晚回到家,再一次更加嚴重的情感崩潰,

  • which I'll say more about in a minute.

    詳細狀況我等會兒再說。

  • And this was all actually quite shocking to me,

    那次的事真的是把我自己嚇到了,

  • because prior to this moment,

    因為在之前

  • I had prided myself

    我一直為我自己

  • on having absolutely no regrets.

    肯定不會後悔感到自豪。

  • I made a lot of mistakes

    我曾經犯了很多錯,

  • and dumb decisions, of course.

    一直在做錯的決定,

  • I do that hourly.

    每小時一次吧。

  • But I had always felt like, look, you know,

    但是我也總是會認為

  • I made the best choice I could make

    我已經是做出了最好的決定,

  • given who I was then,

    根據我那時的心態,

  • given the information I had on hand.

    那時的想法,

  • I learned a lesson from it.

    我從中也學習了一些東西。

  • It somehow got me to where I am in life right now.

    我的人生也是因為它才完整 。

  • And okay, I wouldn't change it.

    總之我不會想著要改變它 。

  • In other words, I had drunk our great cultural Kool-Aid about regret,

    換句話說, 我已經是我們文化中關於後悔教導的狂信者,

  • which is that lamenting things that occurred in the past

    他們認為為過去的事哀傷

  • is an absolute waste of time,

    是一種完全沒有意義的事,

  • that we should always look forward and not backward,

    我們應該向前看而非向後看,

  • and that one of the noblest and best things we can do

    在生活中儘量不要後悔,

  • is strive to live a life free of regrets.

    這是我們能做的最好的事。

  • This idea is nicely captured by this quote:

    以下的引用句非常恰當的描述這個道理:

  • "Things without all remedy

    「 沒有挽救方法的事

  • should be without regard;

    就不要關注了;

  • what's done is done."

    事情做了就做了」 。

  • And it seems like kind of an admirable philosophy at first --

    一開始這看起來的確是很令人深省的哲理--

  • something we might all agree to sign onto ...

    一些我們都應遵守的信條..

  • until I tell you who said it.

    直至我告訴你這句話是誰說 。

  • Right, so this is Lady MacBeth

    這是麥克白的夫人,

  • basically telling her husband to stop being such a wuss

    說這句話只不過是用來勸麥克白不要像個膽小鬼,

  • for feeling bad about murdering people.

    為殺人而感到罪惡感 。

  • And as it happens, Shakespeare was onto something here,

    莎翁在這裡應該也如他以往

  • as he generally was.

    在說些有內涵的話 。

  • Because the inability to experience regret

    因為沒有能力去經歷後悔,

  • is actually one of the diagnostic characteristics

    這其實是反社會的典型的

  • of sociopaths.

    診斷特徵。

  • It's also, by the way, a characteristic of certain kinds of brain damage.

    同時這也是大腦某部份損傷的特徵。

  • So people who have damage

    那些

  • to their orbital frontal cortex

    眼眶額皮質受損的人

  • seem to be unable to feel regret

    看起來就算做了

  • in the face of even obviously very poor decisions.

    再差的決定也不會後悔。

  • So if, in fact, you want to live a life free of regret,

    所以, 如果你不想過充滿後悔的生活,

  • there is an option open to you.

    你可以去做一個

  • It's called a lobotomy.

    前額腦皮質切除手術。

  • But if you want to be fully functional

    但是如果你想要自己機能完整,

  • and fully human

    是一個完整的人,

  • and fully humane,

    是一個完整的靈魂,

  • I think you need to learn to live, not without regret, but with it.

    我想你要學的是怎樣在後悔中生存, 而非是擺脫它。

  • So let's start off by defining some terms.

    接下來讓我們開始先給一些專屬名詞定義吧 。

  • What is regret?

    那麼什麽是後悔?

  • Regret is the emotion we experience

    後悔是一種情緒,

  • when we think that our present situation

    是一種當我們認為我們假如

  • could be better or happier

    在以前做了不同的事,

  • if we had done something different in the past.

    現在的情況會更好的話的情緒,

  • So in other words, regret requires two things.

    那麼後悔是需要兩個前提條件的。

  • It requires, first of all, agency -- we had to make a decision in the first place.

    首先它是需要一個媒介--你必須在之前做一個決定。

  • And second of all, it requires imagination.

    然後, 它需要的是想像力。

  • We need to be able to imagine going back and making a different choice,

    我們要能想像我們回到過去並且做了不同的決定,

  • and then we need to be able to kind of spool this imaginary record forward

    接下來我們要把這段想像稍微前移一點

  • and imagine how things would be playing out in our present.

    並想像一下現在事情會變成怎麼 。

  • And in fact, the more we have of either of these things --

    只要我們這兩個條件中的一個越多--

  • the more agency and the more imagination

    就是, 越多的媒介或者越多的想像

  • with respect to a given regret,

    就有越多的後悔,

  • the more acute that regret will be.

    後悔感就越強烈 。

  • So let's say for instance

    就比如,

  • that you're on your way to your best friend's wedding

    你在你好朋友婚禮的路上,

  • and you're trying to get to the airport and you're stuck in terrible traffic,

    正在趕飛機, 結果遇上了堵車,

  • and you finally arrive at your gate

    最後你到了你的登機口

  • and you've missed your flight.

    發現你錯過了你的航班。

  • You're going to experience more regret in that situation

    在這種情形下, 你將會感到更多的後悔感,

  • if you missed your flight by three minutes

    假如你只不過是誤機了3分鐘

  • than if you missed it by 20.

    而非20分鐘 。

  • Why?

    爲什麽呢?

  • Well because, if you miss your flight by three minutes,

    因為你只是錯過了飛機3分鐘,

  • it is painfully easy to imagine

    對你來說是痛苦的想像,

  • that you could have made different decisions

    你可以做了別的不同選擇

  • that would have led to a better outcome.

    並且有個很好的結果是很簡單的 。

  • "I should have taken the bridge and not the tunnel.

    「 我應該從橋上走而不是走隧道 。

  • I should have gone through that yellow light."

    我應該衝過那黃燈 。」

  • These are the classic conditions that create regret.

    這些都是很自然的引發後悔的因素 。

  • We feel regret when we think we are responsible

    當我們認為我們是應該

  • for a decision that came out badly,

    對這個明明可以變好

  • but almost came out well.

    卻弄砸的決定, 我們便後悔 。

  • Now within that framework,

    在這樣的一個框架中,

  • we can obviously experience regret about a lot of different things.

    我們很顯然會經歷各種悔恨。

  • This session today is about behavioral economics.

    今天的話題是關於行為經濟學 。

  • And most of what we know about regret

    我們所知道有關後悔的一切

  • comes to us out of that domain.

    也都是來自那個領域的 。

  • We have a vast body of literature

    我們有一堆關於消費者

  • on consumer and financial decisions

    和財政決策, 和關於他們

  • and the regrets associated with them --

    對這些決策後悔的書籍--

  • buyer's remorse, basically.

    基本上主要是買家的懊悔 。

  • But then finally, it occurred to some researchers to step back

    到最後, 這樣的一個問題會出現在那些研究者腦中

  • and say, well okay, but overall,

    並說, 既然這樣了,

  • what do we regret most in life?

    那麼什麽是我們一輩子最後悔的事情呢?

  • Here's what the answers turn out to look like.

    這是他們總結這個問題的答案 。

  • So top six regrets --

    後悔排行--

  • the things we regret most in life:

    我們一輩子最後悔的六件事:

  • Number one by far, education.

    目前為止, 教育排在第一。

  • 33 percent of all of our regrets

    我們一生百分之33

  • pertain to decisions we made about education.

    的後悔都會與自己的教育有關。

  • We wish we'd gotten more of it.

    我們總希望曾經能多學一點 。

  • We wish we'd taken better advantage of the education that we did have.

    我們總希望曾經更好的利用我們獲得的教育。

  • We wish we'd chosen to study a different topic.

    我們希望曾經能選擇學另外一個科目 。

  • Others very high on our list of regrets

    另外幾個很“熱”的後悔包括

  • include career, romance, parenting,

    我們的職業, 愛情, 教養方式,

  • various decisions and choices about our sense of self

    對自己的各種評價和選擇,

  • and how we spend our leisure time --

    還有我們業餘時間的耗費--

  • or actually more specifically,

    或更準確的事,

  • how we fail to spend our leisure time.

    我們沒有好好利用業餘時間 。

  • The remaining regrets

    接下來的後悔

  • pertain to these things:

    就是涉及:

  • finance, family issues unrelated to romance or parenting,

    金錢, 愛情和養育之外的家庭問題,

  • health, friends,

    健康, 朋友,

  • spirituality and community.

    信仰, 組織 。

  • So in other words, we know most of what we know about regret

    換句話說, 我們通過研究經濟

  • by the study of finance.

    知道了我們一輩子最後悔的事 。

  • But it turns out, when you look overall at what people regret in life,

    但是當你仔細看看我們這輩子的遺憾時,

  • you know what, our financial decisions don't even rank.

    我們的經濟問題不是那六個之一 。

  • They account for less than three percent of our total regrets.

    他們僅僅是我們後悔中的百分之3 。

  • So if you're sitting there stressing

    所以你假如坐在那裡

  • about large cap versus small cap,

    比較著大杯子小杯子,

  • or company A versus company B,

    或公司A 公司B,

  • or should you buy the Subaru or the Prius,

    或者普銳斯還是斯巴魯的時候,

  • you know what, let it go.

    你應該明白--隨便它吧。

  • Odds are, you're not going to care in five years.

    賠率是五年後你不會後悔那些事情 。

  • But for these things that we actually do really care about

    但是那些你真正關心的問題

  • and do experience profound regret around,

    和那深沉的懊悔,

  • what does that experience feel like?

    那樣的經歷感覺是怎樣的?

  • We all know the short answer.

    我們都有一個簡短的答案 。

  • It feels terrible. Regret feels awful.

    那感覺很糟糕 。很難受 。

  • But it turns out that regret feels awful

    但那些令人痛苦的後悔