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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    >> Stephen:嘿,大家好!

  • GOOD TO SEE YOU.

    很高興見到你。

  • WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

    歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

  • I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

    我是你的主播,史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

  • EVY IS HERE TONIGHT.

    每個人都在這裡今晚。

  • THAT'S ALWAYS A GOOD SHOW.

    這總是一個好節目。

  • THAT'S ALWAYS A LOT OF FUN.

    這總是很多的樂趣。

  • THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, 3450EU DARLING.

    謝謝你來這裡,3450歐盟達令。

  • >> MY PLEASURE >> Stephen: IT'S TWO WEEKS TO

    >> 我的榮幸 >> Stephen:兩週後

  • THE DAY SINCE THE ELECTION, AND I'M BEGINNING TO BREATHE EASIER.

    選舉前一天,我開始輕鬆了。

  • IT'S LIKE I'VE HAD A WEIGHT ON MY CHEST.

    就像我的胸口有重物一樣。

  • DOCTORS SAY IT WAS 239 POUNDS, BUT IT FELT HEAVIER.

    醫生說是239磅,但感覺更重。

  • ANYWAY, I'M FEELING GOOD.

    總之,我感覺很好。

  • BUT DOWN IN D.C., THE PRESIDENT IS SLOWLY, AGONIZINGLY GOING

    但在華盛頓特區,總統正緩慢地,漸進地走著。

  • THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF NARCISSIST GRIEF: DENIAL,

    通過五個階段的NARCISSIST GRIFF:否認。

  • DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL, AND DENIAL.

    否認,否認,否認,否認,否認,否認。

  • I KNOW THAT'S SIX, BUT RUDY IS DEMANDING A RECOUNT.

    我知道這是六個,但魯迪要求重新計算。

  • I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF MY

    我將在今晚的 "我的 "雜誌上為您介紹最新的情況。

  • UNFORTUNATELY ONGOING SEGMENT: >> NA!

    不幸的是,正在進行的部分:>>不!

  • NA!

    不!

  • NA!

    不!

  • HEY! HEY!

    嘿!

  • I WON'T LEAVE!

    我不會離開!

  • >> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE."

    >> "白宮之路"。

  • TELL THEM WHAT THEY'VE WON!

    告訴他們他們贏了什麼!

  • >> Stephen: RATHER THAN FINALLY FACING REALITY, ACCORDING

    >> Stephen:而不是最終面對現實,根據。

  • TO ADVISERS, "THE PRESIDENT IS MORE DUG INTO HIS POSITION THAN

    致顧問:"主席對他的職位的鑽研程度超過了他的工作。

  • HE WAS AT THE BEGINNING."

    他是在開始的時候。"

  • THIS AFTERNOON WE LEARNED THIS.

    今天下午我們學到了這個。

  • >> APPARENTLY, THE PRESIDENT IS CONSIDERING CANCELLING HIS TRIP

    >> 看來,總統正在考慮取消他的旅行。

  • TO MAR-A-LAGO.

    到MAR-A-LAGO。

  • >> Stephen: WELL, HISTORY IS FAMOUSLY KIND TO AUTOCRATS WHO

    >> Stephen:好吧,歷史是著名的善良的汽車製造商誰的

  • LOSE AND THEN RETREAT UNDERGROUND.

    輸了,然後再去地下。

  • WHILE THE COMMANDER IN DOOF VOWS TO FIGHT ON, REPORTEDLY, "ALL OF

    雖然指揮官在DOOF發誓要打上,據說,"所有的"。

  • HIS PEOPLE ARE DESPONDENT."

    他的人民都是可憐的。"

  • WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

    歡迎來到俱樂部。

  • I DON'T BLAME THEM.

    我不怪他們。

  • DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THEM TO GET

    你知道他們要得到的東西有多難嗎?

  • A JOB?

    工作?

  • OR A SPITLESS BURGER?

    還是一個無口漢堡?

  • SO FAR, THE CAMPAIGN'S LEGAL CHALLENGES ARE NOT GOING WELL.

    到目前為止,競選活動的法律挑戰並不順利。

  • SINCE FRIDAY, CASES CHALLENGING THE ELECTION RESULTS HAVE BEEN

    從週五開始,質疑選舉結果的案件就一直存在。

  • DROPPED IN ARIZONA, MICHIGAN, GEORGIA, WISCONSIN, AND

    在亞利桑那州、密歇根州、喬治亞州、威斯康星州和... ...

  • PENNSYLVANIA.

    賓夕法尼亞州:

  • TO BE CLEAR, DROPPED.

    要清楚,丟掉。

  • THOSE ARE WITHDRAWN CASES.

    這些都是撤銷的案件。

  • THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOSE THEM.

    他們甚至沒有失去它們。

  • THEY PRE-LOST THEM.

    他們預先失去了他們。

  • IT'S LIKE COMING IN LAST IN THE INDY 500 BECAUSE YOU DECIDED NOT

    就像你決定不參加INDY 500的比賽,卻落在最後一樣。

  • TO BUY A CAR.

    買車。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE PRESIDENT

    (笑)更重要的是,主席......

  • WAS FRUSTRATED THAT HIS CAMPAIGN LAWYERS WERE NOT APPEARING MORE

    他對自己的競選律師沒有更多的露面而感到憤怒。

  • FREQUENTLY ON TELEVISION.

    經常上電視。

  • HE WANTS HIS CLAIMS OF ELECTION FRAUD TAKEN ALL THE WAY TO THE

    他想把他關於選舉舞弊的指控帶到法庭上。

  • HIGHEST COURT IN THE LAND: "HOT BENCH!"

    最高法院:"熱板凳!"

  • TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION, THE PRESIDENT HAS NAMED RUDY

    為了撤銷這一局面,主席已任命魯迪為主席。

  • GIULIANI TO HEAD THE LEGAL TEAM.

    GIULIANI將上司法律團隊。

  • AS ONE CAMPAIGN OFFICIAL NOTED, "IT'S REALLY MORE OF A

    正如一位競選官員所言:"這實際上更像是一個人的行為。

  • PUBLIC-RELATIONS FIGHT NOW THAN A LEGAL ONE."

    公關鬥爭現在比法律鬥爭。"

  • RUDY'S PERFECT FOR THIS JOB, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ABOUT

    RUDY很適合這份工作,因為我不知道什麼是...

  • PUBLIC RELATIONS, BUT HE'S AN OLD HAND AT PUBIC RELATIONS.

    公共關係,但他是一個老手在公共關係。

  • ( LAUGHING ) RUDY'S ALREADY GETTING ALL

    (笑)魯迪已經得到了所有的

  • LEGAL.

    法律方面:

  • IN FACT, TODAY HE APPEARED IN "THE CAMPAIGN'S FEDERAL CASE IN

    事實上,今天他出現在 "競選人的聯邦案件 "中。

  • PENNSYLVANIA."

    賓夕法尼亞州。"

  • OF COURSE, HE WASN'T THERE ALONE.

    當然,他不是一個人在那裡。

  • HE WAS ACCOMPANIED BY HIS LAW PARTNERS, ERNEST AND JULIO

    他與他的法律夥伴ERNEST和JULIO共同合作。

  • GALLO.

    伽羅:

  • THINGS HAVE GOTTEN CONTENTIOUS BEHIND THE SCENES.

    事情在幕後變得越來越多。

  • AFTER THE CAMPAIGN DROPPED A LAWSUIT IN ARIZONA, ON

    競選人在亞利桑那州撤銷訴訟後,關於。

  • SPEAKERPHONE, RUDY CALLED THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAWYERS LIARS FOR

    演講者,魯迪稱特朗普競選的律師是金光黨,因為

  • TELLING THE PRESIDENT HIS ODDS OF CHANGING THE OUTCOME OF THE

    告訴主席他改變選舉結果的機會。

  • ELECTION WERE SLIM.

    選舉是微弱的。

  • IN RESPONSE, ONE CAMPAIGN OFFICIAL CALLED RUDY A-- QUOTE--

    作為迴應,一位競選官員稱RUDY A... 引用...

  • "(BLEEP) ASS (BLEEP)."

    "(BLEEP)屁股(BLEEP)。"

  • AND THE WINNER FOR NICEST THING EVER SAID ABOUT RUDY GIULIANI

    還有關於魯迪-吉利安尼的最佳言論獎得主

  • IS...

    是...

  • IT'S THAT.

    就是這樣。

  • IT'S THAT.

    就是這樣。

  • IT'S THAT.

    就是這樣。

  • ( LAUGHING ) TURNS OUT, RUDY HAS TRIED TO

    (笑)轉出,魯迪已經嘗試了

  • WRESTLE POWER AWAY FROM THE CURRENT LONGSTANDING CAMPAIGN

    把權力從當前的長期競選中解放出來。

  • LEADERSHIP IN AN INTERNAL CAMPAIGN COUP.

    LEADERSHIP IN AN INTERNAL CAMPAIGN COUP.

  • WAIT, THEY ARE ATTEMPTING A COUP INSIDE THEIR COUP?

    等等,他們是在自己的 "伴侶 "裡做 "伴侶 "嗎?

  • THAT IS COUP-COUP!

    這就是COUP-COUP!

  • THAT JOKE SENT TO US BY LITTLE RICHIE DAHM, AGE EIGHT.

    這笑話寄給我們的小裡奇達姆,八歲。

  • THANK YOU, RICHIE.

    謝謝你,RICHIE。

  • YOU'LL BE GETTING A COPY OF OUR HOME GAME.

    你會得到一份我們的家庭遊戲的副本。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND NOW A REPORT SAYS GIULIANI'S

    (笑)現在有一份報告說,GIULIANI的。

  • ASKING THE PRESIDENT'S CAMPAIGN TO COUGH UP $20,000 A DAY FOR

    請主席的競選團每天拿出兩萬元作為經費。

  • HIS LEGAL WORK.

    他的法律工作。

  • BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY FOR EXPERT LEGAL ARGUMENTATION LIKE

    但它是值得每一分錢的專家法律論證,如。

  • THIS: >> AND THEN YOU START DOING

    這:>>然後你就開始做。

  • BALLOTS LIKE THIS-- DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH.

    像這樣的選票 -- 嘟-嘟-嘟-嘟-嘟-嘟-嘟-嘟。

  • >> Stephen: DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH.

    >> Stephen:DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH。

  • THAT'S EITHER HIM COUNTING BALLOTS OR TRYING TO COLD START

    那是他在計算選票或試圖冷啟動。

  • HIS HAND-CRANK PACEMAKER.

    他的手搖式制袋機。

  • WITH THEIR LEGAL CASES FLOUNDERING, SOME REPUBLICANS

    隨著他們的訴訟案件的失敗,一些共和黨人

  • ARE ENCOURAGING OTHER CLEARLY UNDEMOCRATIC MEANS TO KEEP THE

    正在鼓勵其他明顯不民主的手段,以保持

  • PRESIDENT IN OFFICE, LIKE SOUTH CAROLINA SENATOR AND SURGEON

    主席在職,像南卡羅來納州參議員和外科醫生一樣。

  • TRYING TO REMEMBER WHICH PATIENT HE LEFT THAT SCALPEL IN,

    試圖記住哪一個病人 他留下的刮刀。

  • LINDSEY GRAHAM.

    LINDSEY GRAHAM.

  • TURNS OUT, GEORGIA'S SECRETARY OF STATE BRAD RAFFENSPERGER SAYS

    結果,喬治亞州的國務卿布拉德-拉芬斯佩格說,

  • GRAHAM AND OTHER REPUBLICANS HAVE PRESSURED HIM TO TOSS LEGAL

    格雷厄姆和其他共和黨人曾向他施壓,要求他放棄合法的。

  • BALLOTS.

    投票:

  • WELL, THEY FINALLY FOUND SOME VOTER FRAUD!

    他們終於發現了一些選民舞弊!

  • AND IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK: IN THE MIRROR.

    而它永遠是你看的最後一個地方。在鏡子裡。

  • ACCORDING TO RAFFENSPERGER, SENATOR GRAHAM WAS CONCERNED

    據RAFFENSPERGER說,GRAHAM參議員擔心的是:

  • THAT HE WASN'T DISQUALIFYING ENOUGH OF GEORGIA'S MAIL-IN

    說他對喬治亞州的郵寄投票不滿意

  • BALLOTS BASED ON SIGNATURES THAT DON'T MATCH THE REGISTRATION, SO

    根據與登記不符的簽名進行投票,所以。

  • GRAHAM HAD A SUGGESTION: >> SENATOR GRAHAM IMPLIED FOR US

    格雷厄姆有一個建議。>> 格雷厄姆議員對美國暗示:

  • TO AUDIT THE ENVELOPES AND THEN THROW OUT THE BALLOTS FOR

    審核信封,然後將票投出。

  • COUNTIES WHO HAD THE HIGHEST FREQUENCY ERROR OF SIGNATURES.

    簽名錯誤頻率最高的國家:

  • >> Stephen: SO, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE HAVE SLOPPY SIGNATURES,

    >> 史蒂芬: 所以,因為有些人的簽名很滑稽。

  • LINDSEY GRAHAM WANTS TO THROW OUT ALL OF THE VOTES FROM WHOLE

    林賽-格雷厄姆想把所有的選票都扔掉。

  • COUNTIES. THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "WELL, THIS DOOR HINGE IS

    縣。這就像說,"好吧,這個門鉸鏈是。

  • SQUEAKY, TH SIMPLEST THING IS TO JUST BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.

    笨蛋,最簡單的辦法就是把房子燒掉。

  • GRAHAM DENIED MAKING ANY UNCOMFORTABLE DEMANDS OF THE

    格拉漢姆否認對《公約》提出任何難以接受的要求。

  • SECRETARY.

    我的意思是,我的意思是......"。

  • >> I THINK THAT'S JUST RIDICULOUS.

    >> 我覺得這太可笑了。

  • IF HE FEELS THREATENED BY THAT CONVERSATION, HE'S GOT A

    如果他覺得受到了談話的威脅,他就有了一個。

  • PROBLEM.

    問題:

  • I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD CONVERSATION.

    我還真覺得這是個不錯的談話。

  • >> Stephen: IN OTHER WORDS, IT WAS:

    >> Stephen:換句話說,它是:

  • >> AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT PHONE CALL.

    >> 一個絕對完美的電話。

  • >> Stephen: BUT IT'S NOT JUST GRAHAM.

    >> 但它不僅僅是格雷厄姆。

  • RAFFENSPERGER ALSO SAID HE AND HIS WIFE, TRICIA, HAVE RECEIVED

    RAFFENSPERGER還表示,他和他的妻子TRICIA已經收到了。

  • DEATH THREATS IN RECENT DAYS.

    最近幾天的死亡威脅:

  • OBVIOUSLY, THAT IS SAD AND HORRIFYING, BUT ACCORDING TO

    很明顯,這是很悲哀和可怕的,但根據... ...

  • RAFFENSPERGER, "IT'S ALSO VERY DISILLUSIONING, PARTICULARLY

    RAFFENSPERGER,"這也是非常令人沮喪的,特別是:

  • WHEN IT COMES FROM PEOPLE ON MY SIDE OF THE AISLE."

    "當它來自我這邊的人。"

  • YEAH, YOU EXPECT THREATS FROM THE OTHER SIDE, BUT IT HURTS SO

    是的,你期待著來自另一邊的威脅,但它是如此的痛苦。

  • MUCH MORE WHEN IT COMES FROM THE HEAVILY-ARMED YAHOOS WHOSE

    當它來自全副武裝的亞虎國際娛樂網址時,就會更多。

  • UNLIMITED GUN RIGHTS YOU'VE BEEN PROTECTING YOUR ENTIRE CAREER.

    你在整個職業生涯中一直在保護的無限的槍支權利。

  • RAFFENSPERGER ACTUALLY SAVED HIS HARSHEST LANGUAGE FOR GEORGIA

    拉芬斯伯格實際上為喬治亞州保留了他最嚴厲的語言。

  • REPRESENTATIVE DOUGLAS A.

    DOUGLAS A.代表。

  • COLLINS, WHO IS LEADING THE PRESIDENT'S EFFORTS IN GEORGIA

    柯林斯,誰在上司總統在喬治亞州的工作?

  • AND WHO RAFFENSPERGER HAS CALLED A "LIAR" AND A "CHARLATAN."

    還有拉芬斯伯格說他是 "金光黨 "和 "夏拉坦"

  • OOH, A CHARLATAN!

    哦,一個嘎嘎!

  • WATCH OUT, COLLINS!

    小心,柯林斯 Watch out, COLLINS!

  • SOON HE'LL CALL YOU A SCALLAWAG, A MOUNTEBANK, A CHISLER, A

    很快他就會叫你 "斯卡拉瓦格"、"山地銀行"、"奇斯勒"、"阿克蘇"。

  • LILYWHACKER, A RAPSCALLION, A GRUMBLETONIAN, A FLIMFLAMMER,

    LILYWHACKER, RAPSCALLION, THE GRUMBLETONIAN, THE FLIMFLAMMER,

  • AND A SHIBAROON.

    和一個SHIBAROON。

  • THEY'RE ALL IN HIS NEW BOOK: "50 POLITE WAYS TO CALL DOUG

    這些內容都在他的新書《給DOUG打電話的50種禮貌方式》中。

  • COLLINS A DICK."

    COLLINS A DICK."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A BESTSALER.

    (笑)這是一個暢銷書。

  • IT'S A BESTSELLER.

    這是一個暢銷書。

  • BUT SOME REPUBLICANS ARE STARTING TO FACE FACTS, LIKE

    但一些共和黨人開始面對事實,比如說:

  • FLORIDA SENATOR AND VICE PRINCIPAL HOPING SOMEONE WILL

    弗羅裡達州參議員和副州長希望有人會

  • SHOW UP FOR ZOOM OFFICE HOURS, MARCO RUBIO.

    在ZOM辦公時間出現,Marco RUBIO。

  • RUBIO WAS ASKED ABOUT BIDEN'S POTENTIAL CHOICE FOR NATIONAL

    盧比奧被問及比登是否有可能成為國家領導人的人選。

  • INTELLIGENCE DIRECTOR, AND HE SAID THIS:

    情報總監,他說這。

  • >> WELL, THAT WILL BE THE PRESIDENT-ELECT'S DECISION,

    >> 好吧,這將是當選總統的決定。

  • OBVIOUSLY.

    顯然。

  • >> YOU JUST SAID PRESIDENT-ELECT.

    >> 你剛才說的是候任總統。

  • ARE YOU SAYING BIDEN IS THE PRESIDENT-ELECT NOW?

    你是說比登是現在的當選總統嗎?

  • >> WELL, ULTIMATELY, THAT'S WHAT THE RESULTS, THE PRELIMINARY

    >> 好吧,最終,這就是結果,初步的。

  • RESULTS SEEM TO INDICATE.

    結果似乎表明:

  • >> Stephen: THAT IS SOME WEAK ACCEPTANCE OF THE INEVITABLE.

    >> 斯蒂芬:這是對不可避免的事情的一種微弱的接受。

  • I'D HATE TO SEE THE G.O.P.

    我真想看看G. O. P.

  • VERSION OF "ANNIE."

    "安妮 "的版本。

  • THE SUN'LL COME OUT TOMORROW

    太陽明天就要出來了

  • ULTIMATELY THE PRELIMINARY RESULTS SEEM TO INDICATE

    最終的初步結果似乎表明:

  • THERE'LL BE SUN JUST THINKIN' ABOUT,

    想到這裡就會有太陽。

  • TOMORROWTHE MOON HAS THE LEGAL RIGHT

    明天的月亮有合法的權利。

  • TOMORROWTHE MOON HAS THE LEGAL RIGHT TO

    明天的月亮有合法的權利,以

  • PURSUE LEGAL CHALLENGES ♪ 'TIL ITS DONE

    追求法律挑戰,直到它完成。

  • IT'S A HARD FRAUD CASE TO BACK

    # 欺詐案很難查清 # # It's a hard fraud case to back #

  • BUT WE GOTTA SMOOCH HIS CRACK

    但我們必須SMOOCH他的裂縫,

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I STARTED BOTH OF THOSE SLIGHTLY

    (笑)我開始了這兩個稍微

  • HIGHER KEY THAN I'M COMFORTABLE WITH.

    比我能接受的更高的鍵。

  • RUBIO-- YOU FELT THE EMOTION.

    RUBIO -- 你感受到了這種情緒。

  • RUBIO ISN'T THE ONLY G.O.P.

    RUBIO不是唯一的G. O. P.

  • OFFICIAL TAKING A BABY STEP TOWARD REALITY.

    官方採取一個嬰兒的步驟走向現實。

  • SO IS IDAHO SENATOR AND LATEST PUPPET CREATION FROM THE MIND OF

    愛達荷州參議員也是如此,最新的寵物創造從頭腦中的。

  • JEFF DUNHAM, JAMES RISCH.

    JEFF DUNHAM, JAMES RISCH.

  • RISCH ADMITTED TO REPORTERS THAT BIDEN WON, ADDING, "THIS IS MY

    RISCH向記者承認BIDEN獲勝,並補充說:"這是我的。

  • SECOND TRANSITION WHERE WE MOVE FROM ONE POLITICAL PARTY TO

    第二次過渡,在那裡我們從一個政黨轉到一個政黨。

  • ANOTHER IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

    另一個在白宮。

  • IT IS A CHANGE IN THE MUSIC THAT IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND.

    這是在背景音樂中的變化。

  • WE GO FROM HEAVY METAL TO CLASSICAL MUSIC IN ONE FELL

    我們從重金屬到經典音樂,一氣呵成。

  • SWOOP."

    SWOOP。"

  • YES, GOOD-BYE TO THE PRESIDENT'S HEAVY METAL.

    是的,再見了主席的重金屬。

  • THE LAST SONG ON HIS SET LIST?

    他的最後一首歌曲?

  • "ENTER BLANDMAN."

    "輸入BLANDMAN。"

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ WOOO-OOO!

    嗚嗚嗚!

  • YESTERDAY, A REPORTER ASKED JOE BIDEN ABOUT THE REAL-WORLD COST

    昨天,有記者問喬-比登,關於真實的世界成本。

  • OF THE PRESIDENT'S OBSTRUCTION, AND THE TRANSITION, AND THE

    主席的報告和過渡時期的報告

  • PRESIDENT-ELECT DID NOT MINCE WORDS:

    候任主席毫不吝嗇。

  • >> WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE BIGGEST THREAT TO YOUR

    >> 你認為什麼是對你最大的威脅?

  • TRANSITION RIGHT NOW, GIVEN PRESIDENT TRUMP'S UNPRECEDENTED

    鑑於特朗普總統的未雨綢繆,現在就進行過渡。

  • ATTEMPT TO OBSTRUCT AND DELAY A SMOOTH TRANSFER OF POWER?

    試圖阻撓和拖延權力的順利轉移?

  • >> MORE PEOPLE MAY DIE IF WE DON'T COORDINATE.

    >>如果我們不協調,可能會有更多的人死亡。

  • >> Stephen: WE'RE DOOMED!

    >> Stephen:我們要完蛋了!

  • I MEAN, IS THIS A MAN WHO LOOKS COORDINATED?

    我的意思是,這是一個男人誰看起來協調?

  • BUT BIDEN WAS OPTIMISTIC: >> WE'RE MOVING ALONG KNOWING

    但比登是個樂觀主義者: >> 我們知道,我們正在前進。

  • WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE.

    結果是什麼:

  • I FIND THIS MORE EMBARRASSING FOR THE COUNTRY THAN

    我覺得這對國家來說,是最令人尷尬的事情

  • DEBILITATING FOR MY ABILITY TO GET STARTED.

    為我的創業能力打了折扣。

  • >> Stephen: OH, WE'RE WAY PAST EMBARRASSMENT, JOE.

    >> Stephen:哦,我們是過去的尷尬,喬。

  • AFTER A FULL TERM OF THIS PRESIDENT, WE COULD GET OUR

    本屆主席任期屆滿後,我們可以得到我們的。

  • PERIOD IN GYM CLASS, ACCIDENTALLY CALL THE TEACHER

    體育課期間,不小心給老師打了電話

  • "MOM," TRIP IN THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF OUR CRUSH, AND STILL BE

    "媽媽,"在走廊上絆倒在我們的戀人面前,仍然是。

  • LIKE, "YEAH, BETTER THAN THE LAST FOUR YEARS."

    就像,"是啊,比過去四年更好。"

  • LET'S MOVE ON TO PERHAPS THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE DAY: THE

    讓我們轉到可能是今天最大的新聞:The

  • ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE HAS ARRIVED IN NEW YORK

    羅克費勒中心聖誕樹抵達紐約。

  • CITY!

    城市!

  • OKAY, IT'S COOL, NBC.

    好吧,這很好,NBC。

  • YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR OWN NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED HOLIDAY

    你們有自己的國家認可的節日。

  • ICON.

    ICON:

  • MEANWHILE, NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT THE TIMES SQUARE CBS

    同時,沒有人談論時代廣場CBS的事。

  • CORNUCOPIA, EVEN THOUGH IT IS OVERFLOWING WITH FESTIVE

    CORNUCOPIA,儘管它已經被節日的氣氛所淹沒。

  • "60 MINUTES" CORRESPONDENTS!

    "60分鐘 "記者!

  • HOWEVER, ONE CITY'S CHRISTMAS DECORATION DID NOT GO OFF

    然而,一個城市的聖誕裝飾並沒有被取消。

  • EXACTLY AS PLANNED, BECAUSE THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN CINCINNATI

    完全按照計劃,因為辛辛那提的聖誕樹。

  • WENT VIRAL FOR EMBODYING HOW WE FEEL IN 2020.

    因體現了我們在2020年的感受而走紅。

  • UH, OKAY, BUT I'M NOT SURE I BUY THAT.

    呃,好吧,但我不確定我買的。

  • CHRISTMAS TREES ARE CHEERFUL AND HAPPY!

    聖誕樹是快樂和幸福的!

  • HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY EMBODY HOW EVERYONE IS-- YEAH, OKAY.

    這怎麼可能體現大家是如何... ... 是啊,好吧。

  • YEAH, THAT'S ME.

    是的,這就是我。

  • THAT'S GOT THE FEELS.

    這就是感覺。

  • THAT TREE LOOKS LIKE IT JUST WENT ON ITS LAST MARCH INTO

    那棵樹看起來就像它剛走到最後一程的樣子

  • ISENGARD.

    ISENGARD.

  • SO WHY DOES SAD TREE LOOK SAD?

    那麼為什麼傷心樹看起來很傷心呢?

  • WELL, OFFICIALS SAY MANY OF THE BRANCHES ARE STILL TIED WITH

    好吧,官員們說,許多分行仍在與TIED

  • TWINE.

    雙線。

  • OH, YEAH, IT'S THE TWINE.

    哦,是的,是雙胞胎。

  • CAN I START USING THAT EXCUSE, TOO?

    我也可以開始使用這個藉口了嗎?

  • I KNOW IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVEN'T EXERCISED SINCE MARCH,

    我知道這看起來像我從三月開始就沒有運動過。

  • BUT THAT'S JUST THE TWINE.

    但這只是雙胞胎。

  • YOU UN-TWINE ME, AND I'M HARDER THAN A HEMSWORTH.

    你給我解酒,我就會比HEMSWORTH更硬。

  • RIGHT, HONEY?

    對吧,親愛的?

  • >> OH, ABSOLUTELY.

    >> 哦,絕對的。

  • >> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY, THANK YOU.

    >> Stephen:當然,謝謝你。

  • AFTER THAT INITIAL PICTURE WENT VIRAL, CINCINNATI OFFICIALS KEPT

    在最初的圖片被傳播後,辛辛那提官員保持了

  • WORKING ON THE TREE AND RELEASED THIS AFTER-PHOTO:

    在樹上工作,併發布了這張事後照片。

  • AWWWW!

    AWWWW!

  • THAT SPRUCE GOT ALL SPRUCED UP!

    那棵葡萄樹已經開始發芽了!

  • SO IT STARTED OUT INCREDIBLY SAD AND PITIFUL, BUT SOMEHOW IN

    所以它開始的時候非常的悲傷和可憐,但有些時候在

  • EARLY NOVEMBER, IT TURNED THINGS AROUND AND RESTORED PEOPLE'S

    11月初,它扭轉了局面,恢復了人們的生活。

  • HOPE?

    希望?

  • THIS TREE REALLY DOES EMBODY 2020, ESPECIALLY IN JANUARY,

    這棵樹確實體現了2020年,尤其是在1月份。

  • WHEN WE GET TO THROW THE WHOLE THING IN A WOODCHIPPER.

    當我們要把整個東西扔進木頭刨子裡的時候,

  • WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

    我們已經為你準備了一個很棒的節目,今晚。

  • FORMULA ONE CHAMPION LEWIS HAMILTON IS HERE.

    一級方程式冠軍LEWIS HAMILTON在這裡。

  • BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"

    但是,當我們回來的時候,"meanWHILE!"

  • JOIN US.

    加入我們。

  • ♪ ♪ ♪

    ♪ ♪ ♪

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

>> Stephen:嘿,大家好!

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