Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you'll need to penetrate any lady's jungle, if you get what I mean.

CouilleBleu 今天要來玩

In the laning phase, you must use your Kitty Claw on that bunny's booty everytime it's available to witness some really ridiculous damage and,

專搞女人 - 烏迪爾

because of that, no one will dare to pickpocket a minion when you're nearby,

這邊符文 天賦

that fatherfucker will stop chasing you after being scratched by Garfield

技能順序還有道具

and that surprised stripclub fuckabish will have to take the long road to get back in lane.

讓你能穿透所有打野的女人 你懂的

But, if you want to become a mad beast, you must fist that dog in the asshole non-stop until he leaves the lane like a pussy.

對線技巧

What? You got your balls kicked in the process? Then become a Ninja Turtle and recover them by stealing the minion's seeds.

對線的時候 有機會就用你的貓爪來玩弄那隻兔子

When you're ready to K.O. your opponent, you have to stun him with a Double Fist on the balls, use Catwoman's special ability to damage him a bit,

你就能看見一些很猛的傷害

become a Ninja Turtle to shield yourself from the puny damage done by that guy,

只要你在 對面想農隻小兵也不行

stun him once again with another Double Fist in the back hole and use a Kitty Claw-Ignite combo to teach him who's the boss in the club.

加菲貓的抓癢就能阻止他追你

If you're mid and the wannabe Dark Magician Girl throws some peanuts at you, just Flash-Kitty Claw combo that faker to force her to use that Flash and,

這個女人要回到線上還得跑一段路呢

if she comes back for more, she will deeply regret her dumb decision.

如果這還不夠的話 那你就不停狂揍他的屁屁 打到他變小孬孬

A weak little boy's trying to get some family money? Give him a few smacks on the face and it's JAY JEY!

什麼 你被反擊了嗎

When you get your Sonic Boots, you will be able to drive faster than Baby Mario on his stroller

那就化身忍者龜 偷偷小兵的血

and that's why you should leave your lane to have a marvelous threesome with Mr. Dongers.

準備好殺人了嗎 那就直接給他胯下來兩拳

Hold on, ladies and gentlemen. Don't go back in your lane yet!

化身貓女來抓個癢

Since you're already on the move, why don't you go all the way to chinatown to bring a charming lady to a romantic candle dinner

變身忍者龜來擋住他的抓癢

and if she doesn't want that shit, well she can't really refuse your invitation or she'll get run over by Bob The Sexy Builder.

往他屁屁再來兩拳

Hey, hey, wait a second, little excited dude.

最後換貓爪上點燃 給對面知道誰才是老大

Don't you dare go back in your lane yet because you have to spank that chibi pervert once more for not being a nice kid on Christmas' Eve.

如果你走中 對面又是個「黑魔導女孩」

If the jungler that held your lane while you were on your trip is getting buttfucked by that dirty dog,

那就閃現過去 一個貓爪掃在 Faker 上

it's time to come back to your initial position to save your friend in distress by slapping that dog with a...

如果她又回來 那就給她後悔吧

After you get your Trinity Phreak, killing a squishy baby girl will be easier than playing Barbie Dreamhouse Party.

這個小男孩居然想給家裡賺錢

Thanks to your Ghost and your Youmuu's Ghostblade, you will run faster than a cheetah and no one will be able to escape from your claws.

給他打幾巴掌 直接就

When you get all your armor penetration items, you can be sure that this poor woman will feel your Cheetos all the way inside.

JAY JEY 了

In teamfights, your job is to do everything you can to protect your teammates from getting killed.

出了音速鞋 那你開車就會比小瑪利歐還要快

If someone goes down, you take down his killer, simple as that.

(歡迎自行搜尋 Donger 的意思) 這也是為什麼你要跑線跟漢默噹格來個激烈 3P

Then, if you spot a little cougar, you have to K.O. her with your Double Punch-Kitty Claw combo before running in the jungle to tell Tarzan that you fisted his personal bitch to death.

等等 可別就這樣跑回去喔

If you don't want to be your team's bodyguard, you can just do your own things with the enemies while your allies and some minions gangbang Mr. Pedobear.

既然都來了 幹嘛不去外帶一個妹子

Don't be scared, my friend. You'll be so powerful that the enemy carries won't be able to send you to the hospital.

如果她不要的話...

You know, if a persistent fuckabish doesn't want to leave your pet alone, you can hide in the Fog of War before yelling...

我想也很難拒絕 不然就等被卡車輾吧

If she's out of your reach, you can just abuse the daughter in front of the parents to make Leblanc regret her actions.

喂喂 前面那個興奮的傢伙給我停下來

After that, you have to follow mama and papa until they go back home to lock them up there indefinitely for being the worst parents of the century.

聖誕節不乖我就賞你一巴掌喔

That's it for today, people!

那個來幫忙的打野反而被狗狗打殘的話

Don't forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos.

是時候回去你原本的位置 用一巴掌拯救你的基...

Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I will only answer those in English and in French because I'm a racist fuckabish.

我靠你這個死武士

Ciaossu!

出了三相 Phreak 之後 殺個小女孩容易死了