ON THE DESK WILE I WAS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND BECAUSE I GOT THE

在桌子上，我週末不在，因為我得到了。

BONE HERE WITH MY NAME ON IT.

這裡的骨頭上有我的名字。

AND THERE WERE SOME BONE MARKS ON THE DESK.

桌子上還有一些骨印。

ANG SOMEBODY CLEANED THE BONE SHADERS OFF PIE DESK.

有人清理了派桌上的骨片。

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.

這是非常重要的。

A LOT OF THE NEWCOMERS IN THE LATE NIGHT WORLD HAVE TO KNOW,

很多深夜世界的新人都得知道。

YOU HAVE TO CLEAN ALL THE BONE SHADERS OFF YOUR DESK AT THE END

你必須在最後把桌上的骨質遮光板都清理掉。

OF THE WEEK OR IT BUILDS UP, IT BUILDS UP.

本週的或它建立起來，它建立起來。

HEY, EVERYBODY, WITH THAT BIT OF WISDOM OUT OF THE WAY LET'S SAY

嘿，大家好，有了這一點智慧，讓我們說說

HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.

你好，我們的朋友先生。JON BATISTE.

HELLO JON BATISTE.

你好JON BATISTE。

>> Jon: HELLO, STEPHEN COLBERT, GET THE BONE SHADERS

>> 喬恩：你好，史蒂芬-科爾伯特，去拿遮陽板。

AWAY, COME ON.

離開，來吧。

>> Stephen: NOW JON, HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?

>> Stephen:喬恩，你的週末過得怎麼樣？

>> Jon: THE WEEKEND WAS BLESSED, I AM GLAD TO SEE A LOT

>> Jon:週末是祝福，我很高興看到很多人。

OF THINGS.

或東西。

I WILL SAY THAT.

我會說的。

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> Stephen:好的

FOR VISION ITSELF OR JUST THE THINGS YOU ARE SEEING IN THE

視覺本身或只是你在視覺中看到的東西。

WORLD.

世界。

>> Jon: BOTH.

>> 喬恩。BOTH：

I THINK THE THINGS I'M SEEING IN THE WORLD ARE PROMISING.

我覺得我看到的世界上的東西都很有希望。

AND YOU KNOW, IT'S STILL A ROUGH TIME BUT I THINK WE ARE MOVING

你知道，這仍然是一個艱難的時期，但我認為我們正在移動。

OUT OF IT.

出了它。

I'M GOING TO SPEAK THAT INTO EXISTENCE.

我要把它說成是存在的。

>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD, THROW IT OUT THERE.

>> Stephen:很好，很好，把它扔出去。

LIKE AN ANCHOR, PULL YOURSELF TOWARD IT ON THE ROPE OF YOUR

像錨一樣，用你的繩索把自己拉向它。

HOPE.

希望：

>> Jon: I LIKE THAT.

>> 喬恩。我喜歡這樣。

THAT IS DEECH.

這是DEECH。

>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU, JON.

>> 喬恩-巴蒂斯特，各位，謝謝你，喬恩。

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

>> 喬恩。是的，確實如此。

>> Stephen: SO FOLKS, IF THE PRESIDENT IS LISTENING TO A TASK

>> 史蒂芬：所以，夥計們，如果主席聽了任務書，就會發現，他的任務書中的內容是什麼？

FORCE AND HE'S NOT, WHO IS ELISE ENING TO.

力，而他不是，誰是艾莉絲寧。

ENTER CORONAVIRUS ADVISOR AND VITAMIN SALESMAN EXPLAINING WHY

進入CORONAVIRUS顧問和維他命銷售員解釋為什麼是

THIS ACTUALLY ISN'T A PYRAMID SCHEME, SCOTT ATLAS.

這實際上並不是一個PYRAMID方案， 斯科特・阿特拉斯。

UNLIKE EXPERTS LIKE DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX, ATLAS' PLAN IS FOR

不像Dr. FAUCI和Dr.FAUCI和Dr.BIRX博士，ATLAS的計劃是為了

AMERICANS TO INFECT EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY ACHIEVE SOMETHING

美國人互相感染，以至於他們實現了一些東西。

CALLED HERD IMMUNITY.

被稱為牛群免疫力。

HERTURD BECAUSE THERE IS A BILE PILE OF BEUL BEEP BLEEP.

HERTURD，因為有一樁樁的BUL BEEP BLEEP。

A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE UNDER THE SCENARIO OF HE ARE, D IMMUNITY,

很多人死在他是，D免疫的情況下。

UNLIKE DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX, IS HE NOT AN IMNOL GUEST, IS HE

不像博士。FAUCI和Dr.BIRX，他是不是IMNOL的客人，是他。

A NEURORADIOLOGIST THAT DOES NOT HAVE A BACKGROUND IN INFECTIOUS

一個沒有感染性疾病背景的神經放射學專家。

DISEASES OR EPIDEMIOLOGY AN HASN'T PRACTICED MEDICINE IN

疾病或流行病學一個沒有從事過醫療的人在

NEARLY A DECADE.

近十年來。

CALL ME A DREAMER BUT SLUNT THE PERSON CALLED TO LEAD IN THE

稱我為夢想家，但要把被召喚來上司的人打入地獄。

PANDEMIC BE AN EXPERT IN I DON'T KNOW, A PANDEMIC.

PANDEMIC是一個專家在我不知道，一個PANDEMIC。

IF MY LAPTOP BREAKS I TAKE IT TO THE GENIUS BAR, NOT TO A

如果我的筆記本電腦壞了，我就把它帶到天才吧，而不是去找一家公司。

SEMIRETIRED PODIATRIST.

SEMIRETIRED PODIATRIST.

SO WHERE DID THIS GUY COME FROM.

所以，這傢伙從哪裡來。

WELL, THE PRESIDENT BROUGHT ATLAS ABOARD LARGELY DUE TO HIS

好吧，總統把阿特拉斯招來，主要是由於他的。

FREQUENT FOX NEWS APPEARANCES IN WHICH HE DOWNPLAYED THE VIRUS.

頻繁的福克斯新聞露面，他在其中扮演的病毒。

SO HE IS AN AWFUL, AWFUL PICK FOR MEDICAL ADVISOR.

所以，他是一個可怕的，可怕的醫療顧問的選擇。

BUT SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN THE PRESIDENT'S SECOND CHOICE FROM

但比主席的第二選擇稍好。

FOX NEWS DR. WALK-IN BATHTUB.

福克斯新聞博士。 步入式浴缸。

ATLAS HAS BEEN DOING WHAT ANY RESPONSIBLE PHYSICIAN DOES

阿特拉斯一直在做任何負責任的醫生都會做的事情。

DURING A PANDEMIC.

在泛濫期間。

INCITING VIOLENCE IN RESPONSE TO NEW LOCKDOWN MEASURES IN

煽動暴力以迴應新的封鎖措施

MICHIGAN, ATLAS TWEETED THE ONLY WAY THIS STOPS IS IF PEOPLE RISE

密歇根州，阿特拉斯在推特上說，只有當人們站起來時，才會停止這種做法。

UP.

上升。

NO, THE ONLY WAY THIS STOPS IS IF PEOPLE STAY HOME.

不，只有這樣才能停止，如果人們留在家裡。

THAT IS LIKE SAYING THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS IS IF

這就像說，唯一的方法來停止對毒品的戰爭是，如果。

PEOPLE DO ALL THE DRUGS.

人們做所有的藥物。

THEN THERE WILL BE NO MORE DRUGS LEFT.

那時候就不會再有毒品了。

REMEMBER KIDS, JUST SAY BLOW.

記住，孩子們，只是說吹。

BUT ATLAS DENIED TRYING TO START ANYTHING TWEETING HEY, I WAS

但阿特拉斯否認試圖開始任何事情的微博嘿，我是。

NEVER TALKING AT ALL ABOUT VIOLENCE.

從來沒有談論過暴力。

NEVER WOULD I ENDORSE OR INCITE VIOLENCE.

我絕不會贊同或煽動暴力。

NEVER, YES, HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO DIE FROM VIOLENCE.

從來沒有，是的，他不希望人們死於暴力。

HE JUST WANTS PEOPLE TO DIE.

他只是想讓人們死。

ONE PLACE THAT RESISTED LOCKDOWN AND GAVE HRKSZ ERD IMMUNITY A

有一個地方抵制了封鎖，給了HRKSZ ERD一個免疫力。

WHIRL IS SWEDEN.

漩渦是瑞典。

THEY HAVE BEEN SEEN AS SORT OF THE EXPERIMENTAL COUNTRY FOR ALL

他們一直被認為是某種程度上的實驗國。

OF THIS.

的這。

I WILL TELL YOU REGARDLESS OF WHAT ATLAS SAYS, THE RESULTS

我要告訴你，不管阿特拉斯說什麼，結果是什麼

HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD, SWEDEN PER CAPITA DEATH RATE FROM THE

瑞典的人均死亡率從2007年開始就一直不高。

CORONAVIRUS IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST IN THE WORLD.

蠍子病毒是世界上最高的病毒之一。

THAT MAKES SENSE, AFTER ALL DEATH DEATH IS SWEDISH.

這是有道理的，畢竟死亡... ...死亡是瑞典語。

WELL, THIS WEEKEND THERE WAS A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT FROM SWEDEN'S

好吧，這個週末，瑞典有一個重大的公告。

CHIEF EPIDIMIOLOGIST ANDERS HEADMEL SEEN HERE ON THE BACK

首席生態動物學家安德斯-海德梅爾（Anders HEADMEL）在這裡看到的背面。

JACKET OF A CRIME NOVEL THAT WILL BE TURNED INTO A MINI

一部犯罪小說的封皮，將被改編成迷你版。

SERIES.

系列：

IN LIGHT OF A HUGE FIGHT IN HOVMENTIZATIONS HE ADMITTED THAT

鑑於在交通事故中的巨大斗爭，他承認，

SWEDEN'S LET THEM CATCH IT POLICY DIDN'T DO MUCH TO

瑞典的 "讓他們抓住它 "政策並沒有起到什麼作用。

INCREASE NATIONAL IMMUNITY ADDING WE SEE COMMUNITY SPREAD

增加國家免疫力，增加我們看到的社區傳播。

IN MANY REGIONS SIMULTANEOUSLY RIGHT NOW.

現在很多地區都在同步進行。

WHICH THE SWEDISH GOVERNMENT EXPLAINED IN THIS HELPFUL PSA.

瑞典政府在這一有益的公益廣告中解釋了這一點。

>> COVID-19, NO VACCINE.

>> COVID-19，不是疫苗。

♪ GO BACK TO QUARANTINE.

回到夸父線。

>> Stephen: YOU GOT TO LAND IT, ADMITTING YOUR PUBLIC HEALTH

>> 斯蒂芬：你得落地了，承認你的公共衛生。

POLICY DID NOT WORK TAKES SOME BRASS LINGONBERRY.

政策不工作採取一些黃銅林肯貝里。

I WANT TO SAY WE SHOULD NOT BE TAKING MEDICAL ADVICE FROM

我想說的是，我們不應該聽從醫生的建議。

SWEDEN AS ATLAS SEEMS TO BE DOING.

瑞典阿特拉斯似乎正在做。

THEY SEEM SMART BUT THEY ARE MOSTLY JUST BLOND AND TALL.

他們看起來很聰明，但他們只是金髮和高大。

I WANT TO MAKE A LIST RIGHT NOW, I WILL TAKE SWEDEN TO TASK FOR

我想現在就列一個清單，我將採取瑞典的要求。

THE NUMBER OF THINGS THAT THEY HAVE SHANKED.

它們被擊倒的東西的數量。

LET ME GET READY FOR IT.

讓我為它做好準備。

HOLD ON.

堅持住。

HERE WE GO.

在這裡，我們去。

I WANT TO POINT OUT WHEN I PUT THIS ON.

我想指出，當我把這個上。

ORIGINALLY IN THIS BIT I WAS GOING TO BE SWEDISH WITH THE

原本在這個位子上，我是要用瑞典語的。

ACCENT AND EVERYTHING.

口音和一切。

AND THEN I CHANGED IT TO BE JUST YELLING IN SWEDEN AND DECIDED TO

然後我把它改成了用瑞典語大喊大叫，並決定把它改為

KEEP THE OUTFIT CUZ IT'S DUMB, IT'S-- DO I LOOK DUMB?

留著這身衣服吧，因為它太笨了，我看起來很笨嗎？

>> NO, SIR.

>> 不，先生。

>> NO.

>> NO.

THANK YOU, MARK.

謝謝你，馬克。

HERE SAY NUMBER OF THINGS THAT SWEDEN HAS SHANKED, NUMBER ONE

這裡說的東西的數量，瑞典被擊倒，第一。

PICKLED HERRING.

醃製的鯡魚。

WE HAVE HAD REFRIGERATION FOR A HUNDRED YEARS, STOP IT.

我們已經冷藏了一百年了，停止吧。

OKAY.

好的。

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE MAYBE THE STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF ALL THE

這是另一個可能是所有的結構性的完整性的

FURNITURE FROM HOME SHOULDN'T DEPEND ON WOODEN DOWELL AGE

家裡的傢俱不應依賴木質道爾的年齡。

ALLEN WRENCH.

ALLEN WRENCH.

THE SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM, SHOULD NOT BE FUNDED BY THE SWEDISH

瑞典自行車隊，不應該由瑞典政府資助。

GOVERNMENT.

政府：

I DON'T EVEN THINK BIKINI IS AN OLYMPIC SPORT, HEY SWEDES YOU

我甚至不認為自行車運動是一項奧林匹克運動，嘿，瑞典人你。

NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY THE OLDEST SURVIVING ENGLISH LANGUAGE POEM

需要解釋為什麼最古老的存世英文詩篇。

BEOWOLF TAKES PLACE IN SWEND-- SWEDEN I DE

BEOWOLF在SWEND取得了一席之地--瑞典I DE

WHICH-- BLACK LICORICE, TOUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT THE SALT.

其中... 黑色的甘草， 足夠的粗糙，沒有鹽。

MEATBALLS, THEY'RE DELICIOUS, THEY SHOULD BE LARGER.

肉丸，他們是美味， 他們應該是更大的。

OKAY.

好的。

MANY WITH THE LINGEN BERRY JAM TRK IS A WEIRD IMING, JAM AND

許多與玲瓏莓醬TRK是一個奇怪的IMING，JAM和。

MEATBALLS AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF THE SKARSGARD, YOU CAN'T HAVE

肉丸，我是斯卡加德的粉絲，你不能有。

SKARSGARD AND-- PICK A LANE.

SKARSGARD和... ... 挑一個車道。

HAVE I ONE FINAL MESSAGE FOR YOU AND I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU IN

我有一個最後的消息給你，我會給你的，在

YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE.

您的母語：

♪ I ASSUME ALL OF THAT WAS CURSING.

我想所有的是詛咒。

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CNN'S JAKE TAPPER.

我們將很快與CNN的JAKE TAPPER回來。